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Musicman · #**101** 06-10-2012, 03:34 PM

Hobo, maybe you already covered this and I missed it, but did you send her an "add friend" request as well as send her a private message? If you sent the "add friend req" did you also add a short message with that as well as send a more lengthy private message? Just curious. If you sent the message without the friend request, it makes the message a lot easier to miss or ignore. If you sent a friend request, she would be presented with a set of choices: "ignore", "accept" or "not now".

golfhobo · #**102** 06-10-2012, 05:55 PM

I did NOT send a friend request yet, as I an unable to discern whether it would be viewable by any and all of her current 'friends' (which includes many family members.) I don't want all of them to know I have found her on facebook, as I don't want to make them all feel that their "security" has been breached. I would hate for them to all shut down comms with her (or others) on Facebook just because I can now follow them there.

Musicman · #**103** 06-10-2012, 07:23 PM

Hobo, others can't see the friend request. If your daughter accepts the request, then that would be visible to her friends. Also, any friends of hers who want to be invisible to you could simply block you and you could not contact them, see any of their activity and they couldn't see any of your activity. I've blocked my son's mother and her family (losers all) because while I want to keep up with my 19 year-old son (I've had custody since he was 3), who has recently flown the nest and enlisted in the Army, I don't need my blood pressure elevated every time my ex-wife posts on a pic or status update of my son's.

GMAN · #**104** 06-11-2012, 11:14 AM

I am curious as to whether your daughter has had any contact with your parents? I assume not or they could have acted as intermediaries.

snoopyandpuppy · #**105** 06-11-2012, 12:58 PM

Hobo, can you "private message" her via Facebook?

Musicman · #**106** 06-11-2012, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snoopyandpuppy

Hobo, can you "private message" her via Facebook?

Pretty sure that's what he's done so far.

Roadhog · #**107** 06-11-2012, 05:55 PM

This reminds me of waiting for Shania to return my calls.

Musicman · #**108** 06-11-2012, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roadhog

This reminds me of waiting for Shania to return my calls.

Hopefully Hobo's waiting proves more fruitful than yours has. Or my wait for Sandra's call, for that matter

golfhobo · #**109** 06-12-2012, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GMAN

I am curious as to whether your daughter has had any contact with your parents? I assume not or they could have acted as intermediaries.

You assume correctly. No contact. My parents told me that they TRIED to find her at one time. They had no more success than I.

My mother recently told me that SHE had a conversation with my EX (phone or letter... I don't remember) about us after we separated. It was cordial and truthful. My mom said, "it takes a lot of love to get through something like this... and/or to make a marriage work." She speaks from experience! My EX responded, "Well, I guess there just isn't enough LOVE." [My wife was not lacking in intellect.]

I may never know which of us didn't have enough love (according to her.) It really no longer matters. But, I have always accepted the burden that it was ME who failed. Oh... most things were HER fault (or her mother's,) but I am the one who should have dealt with things better.

My parents have done ALL that could be expected of them under the circumstances... from the very first day that they learned they already HAD a grandchild by me. NONE of this is their fault. It is mine alone.

GMAN · #**110** 06-12-2012, 01:15 AM

It is indeed unfortunate that your daughter never knew her grandparents. From your previous posts it sounds like she and your parents missed a lot by not being in contact over these past years. As we get a little older I think that we all want to know more about where we came from and something about our ancestry. Somehow it becomes more of a priority.

That reminds me, Hobo. Have you checked www.ancestry.com? Some families put what they can about their family tree on the site. You might do a search to see if she may have something posted. As I recall, you can post notes about wanting to find out more about certain family members. It might we worth taking a look. It has been a while since I check the site, but you may take a look and see if is something that might work for you.