[GMAN]

With all of the computers and interactive toys, children aren't learning simple communication skills. Families bond around the dinner table and by doing things as a family. Today, many eat different things at different times. Children used to talk about their day and what was going on in their lives around the dinner table. Food was nutritious and children played outside. We rarely saw obese children. Children ate what was prepared and learned to eat a balance meal. School lunches were also balanced. We didn't have soft drinks or snack foods. We drank milk at home and school. We were healthy. I don't understand why something so simple could become so complicated. Instead of disciplining children they are given ritalin or other drugs to control them.

[wildkat]

Yup, we really need to get back to the basics when it comes to raising a family.

I really wonder what will become of society when all these "ME ME ME" kids get to be adults. Scary to think about really. :cry: :cry: :cry:

[mommee]

I am trying to go back to the old ways-family dinners and such, but sometimes it is hard with the after school activities. Although we don't want to think we spoil our kids, I think we, as parents, are all guilty at some point. Maybe some more than others. I know I am guilty sometimes.

I do think that some parents are substituting things to make up for the time they don't spend with their kids. At the other end of the spectrum, there are others that will do everything for their kids. They help with everything, like homework, and don't let the kids work it out on their own first. We also won't our kids fail. Everyone gets trophies. If awards are given out at school, some parent is offended because their child didn't get one and complains. We tend to pat everyone on the back for mediocre work these days.

It is natural to protect our children, but we can't protect them from everything. They need to experience disappointment sometimes. It is part of living in the real world and real life, because life comes with disappointment. If they can learn to deal with the small ones at a young age, they can handle bigger ones when they become older.

Just my 2bits.

[lexiecat]

There is a great rockin' song, in the lyrics are 'the dog was here first.'
I luv it. In my case it would be the Cat was here first.

Anyway, oh yeah, stereotypes are for real. For instance I change the color of my naturally born blonde hair from time to time. It's not naturally blonde anymore anyway. It does look best tho for my skin tone.
So I usually 'go' lighter.

now over the years, when my hair was more brown, I got way less attention.

I also think that while I was a blonde, natural or otherwise, men treat me altogether differently.

I honestly believe that while I attract more attention being blonde, it is because 'they' are thinking I am 'easy, and not so smart', not to be taken seriously. The dumb blonde stereotype at work here. Used and dumped.

When my hair is browner, darker, way less attention, but actually I think I am taken more seriously.

I am not stupid. I am well read and educated. AND I have common sense.

This has been my direct experience in this life. I live close to the West Coast of CA.

Yes the media is guilty for brainwashing 'us' in this way, and many other ways as well. Women are exploited in general.

That's my thoughts on the subject.

LC

[GMAN]

Originally Posted by mommee

I am trying to go back to the old ways-family dinners and such, but sometimes it is hard with the after school activities. Although we don't want to think we spoil our kids, I think we, as parents, are all guilty at some point. Maybe some more than others. I know I am guilty sometimes.

I do think that some parents are substituting things to make up for the time they don't spend with their kids. At the other end of the spectrum, there are others that will do everything for their kids. They help with everything, like homework, and don't let the kids work it out on their own first. We also won't our kids fail. Everyone gets trophies. If awards are given out at school, some parent is offended because their child didn't get one and complains. We tend to pat everyone on the back for mediocre work these days.

It is natural to protect our children, but we can't protect them from everything. They need to experience disappointment sometimes. It is part of living in the real world and real life, because life comes with disappointment. If they can learn to deal with the small ones at a young age, they can handle bigger ones when they become older.

Just my 2bits.

I think that activities should revolve around the family. When families did more things together there seemed to be fewer serious problems. We had meal times when I grew up and were expected to be there. We had activities, but the family was the most important thing in our lives other than God. I think that is a major problem with many families. They leave God out of everything.

I have also seen situations where all the children receive awards or trophies for not being the best. It encourages mediocrity. Children should be taught to excel. We should not reward those who fail to do their best. Not everyone has the same abilities. Some are better at some things while others can do well at something else. I am greatly concerned that schools and colleges are teaching kids that in order to succeed they must be part of a group and that their grade depends as much on others as it does on their own abilities. Learning and cooperation is learned on the playground and in communicating with others. In the real world, socialism doesn't work, yet we teach it to our children. We are encouraging mediocrity. A popular student could do well in a group simply because they were liked by the others while someone who was bright could be down graded. This country has led the world in innovation for decades. This country has always rewarded innovation and those who excel. Innovation usually comes from an individual who thinks outside of the box, not groups. It will certainly not come from teaching mediocrity.

[mommee]

I think kids should have SOME after school activities, but there should be a balance. I let my daughter join Brownies and softball(this spring), as well as religious ed. classes. That's enough, sometimes parents let their kids join too many things. All they do is shuffle from one event to another. Sorry, I'm not a taxi. Then the family activities get lost, that's where you build memories.

Yeah I hated grading on the curve in college. There was always someone who messed up the curve. I was the average.

And your right, not everyone has the same talents. My daughter has inherited my husband's and my gift of drawing. I encourage her to develop it. If we were all the same, nothing would get invented. We suck at math. Hopefully both kids will both be able to do math without much help or I am in trouble. :wink:

Great minds think alike I guess. 8)

[GMAN]

I think some activities are good, but some seem to be running so hard to get to the next activity they don't really seem to enjoy any of them. I think things such as Brownies and Cub Scouts can be good since they teach them things that they can use the rest of their lives. They teach them how to be good moral citizens. I also think sports can be good for kids. Music lessons are good and can help them be better students and vent their frustrations. You need to pick one or two activities and forget about the rest. Get rid of the TV and computers in their rooms. If children want something let them work or save for it. They will learn about discipline and will appreciate what they have much more than if mom and dad just forked out the money. If we want better children then we must be willing to spend time teaching them.

[Ridge Runner]

If we want better children then we must be willing to spend time teaching them.

You said a mouth full there. I think ( well I actualy KNOW now ) that what our children really want from us, the parent, is our time. When they want the toys and games it is only to fill a void that we leave by not spending time with them. Show an interest in things that interest them and they will show an interest in things that are important to you.

I made some errors along the way, but kids are very forgiving. Spend time with them. That is what they will remember, not the x-box game they played way back is '06.

[wildkat]

I think we have all stated about the same here... Spend the time, not so how much time but quality time is the most important.

We didn't even have a TV when my kids were growing up, we DID things together, played in the park, read, actually SPENT time. That is what my girls remember. They remember I worked alot in those days, but the TIME we did spend was quality.

Now that I have grandchildren I watch my daughter raise her children the way I raised them, to be polite, caring moral citizens. She is lucky, she is able to be at home with her kids, her husband & herself decided it was more important to be with them than to have THINGS, so they tightened up & one parent stayed home. Lord I envied her for that!

I freely admit, I spoil my grandkids shamelessly Maybe I'm trying to make up for all the times I had to say "no" way back when, who knows. I'm no less busy now then I was then, but I still try to make time & that's what's really imprtant I think.

Do the best you can, in the end most turn out ok. I'm proud to say...mine did!

[GMAN]

Today I see too many parents who want to be friends with their children than parents. They have children and then thrust them on the grandparents or anyone else to will raise them. They like the idea of saying they are parents but don't want to accept the responsibility. :x