[Goin Fer It]

First of all I know maybe this should be in family support but I know that does not read and I really could use some of your advice on how you would handle this problem.

First of all I would like to say I am not going to tell my husband as there is really nothing he can do right now and I don't want to worry him as he has enough to deal with in training.

Friday my daughter who is ten was invited into a group. She goes to a Christian school and is a good girl. She happend to come upon three boys that were in her class they were listening to rapp (bad music). Because she found them they invited her into their group. They were using bad language, told her she has to be mean, told her that one of them had smoked crack, asked her to get some spray paint so they could spray paint on a school bad words.

These boys are headed to a path that I know where it will take them. I am not sure how I should deal with it.

1. Go to lunch and pull the three boys aside and have a good harsh heart to heart with them.

2. Talk to the school. Which they will more than likely not include me in any conversation with the boys.

3. Get in touch with the parents and ask to have a meeting with them.

I would like to know what other peoples thoughts would be on this.

I do know I will tell them if they hurt or mess with my daughter her big brother will come and stick up for her.

He is fifteen and just got his green belt in Karate. He had to do 250 push ups the other night on his knuckles. He is six foot and around 145.

I thought about pulling her from the school and either home schooling her or trying to get her into the same school as my son but she wants to stay for this year. And my seven year old also goes to the same school as she does.

Please let me know what you would do!

Thanks,
Goin Fer It's Wife

[GMAN]

It is good that your daughter confided in you. I think I would talk to their parents first. It might even be good to get all of them together and talk to them as a group. If I felt that didn't do any good, then I would go to the school. These kids need a firm hand at home. It sounds like they may not be getting the guidance they need from their parents.

[NascarFan]

I agree with Gman try and get ahold of the parents first and then if it dosen't stop talk to the school.

[Goin Fer It]

Originally Posted by GMAN

It is good that your daughter confided in you. I think I would talk to their parents first. It might even be good to get all of them together and talk to them as a group. If I felt that didn't do any good, then I would go to the school. These kids need a firm hand at home. It sounds like they may not be getting the guidance they need from their parents.

I thought about that also! If it were my child I would want to know. They are going down a very bad path that will end them up in jail and lots of wasted years.

The one kids parents I met at their younger daughters birthday party and I know they do not want the son on this path. The other kids dad I met about two years ago and it is a messed up situation, divorce and bad relationship.

Goin Fer It's Wife

[Goin Fer It]

Originally Posted by NascarFan

I agree with Gman try and get ahold of the parents first and then if it dosen't stop talk to the school.

Thank you for you input!

Goin Fer It's Wife

[Rokk]

Be as i live the same place as you do, this concerns me. if you will get in touch with me, i know a youth pastor as well that could get in touch with the family's as well as the school. this is an issue that needs to be dealt with before it gets out of hand. we are a small community here, and it would be devastating to condone that behaivior. we dont need another tragedy like one left By Duncan himself or worse.

I would guess the parents possibly dont know how their kids are acting. I would want to know. but i would bet that they would be more receptive if persons of officality were to contact them. As parents we are all protective. however. we all know that confrontation has its drawbacks.

[Goin Fer It]

Thanks, I will try and give you a call!

Goin Fer It's Wife

[yoopr]

Sounds like Gang Bangers in the Making
Not sure about talking with the Parents because I'm sure they would know if they're taking drugs and doing the Gang Thing and obviously they're doing a crappy job raising their kids.

[Goin Fer It]

Originally Posted by yoopr

Sounds like Gang Bangers in the Making
Not sure about talking with the Parents because I'm sure they would know if they're taking drugs and doing the Gang Thing and obviously they're doing a crappy job raising their kids.

I just spoke with Rokk and he agrees that the parents may not be the best option. He said they could be the type that would be in denial. He feels that it may be best to go to the school administrators since it is occurring at school and first find out how they would handle this and what their policies are. Then let the administrators at the school deal with the parents.

I think I will also make it a point to be there for a while at lunch time!

Goin Fer It's Wife

[TimberWolf]

Yoopr wrote:
Sounds like Gang Bangers in the Making
Not sure about talking with the Parents because I'm sure they would know if they're taking drugs and doing the Gang Thing and obviously they're doing a crappy job raising their kids.
_________________

Yoopr you never cease to amaze me, Its a good thing you know these parents first hand otherwise you would never be able to comment on their parenting abilities.
Oh wait a minute I forgot your a conservative (I Think) you like to jump the gun and bury people with out knowing all the facts.
Your logic is flawed.... Your thinking is wrong.

While I grew up in a small mountain community Evergreen CO, I am sure much like Couer d'Alene, ID You have all sorts of outside influences, does that make the parents bad? My father's influence did not strike upon me until I reached 30 years old it took a while for his beliefs to take, half of what I did as a child he had no clue. Why you ask, not because he was oblivious but rather because I did a great job in hiding it as do most children.
Children try to find a way to fit in with what ever group will accept them,
As a teen I only hung out with the freaks they accepted me for who I thought I was.
My oldest daughter now 20 hung out with every group in her school she has friends from all cliques and did not succumb to the challenges of drugs or crime. Do I know why she turned out so well? Hell no we just got lucky we talk to our girls and I have never hidden my cloudy past from them even my 11 year old knows a good portion of my past. We talk to them and tell them to use their heads and think of the consequences of their actions. Sometimes they listen and other times they screw up.
That is life and part of the lessons we all learn. Hopefully as we grow so does our mentality.

As far as allowing your 15 year old to stick up for her, please do not let him use force as it will only get him in trouble, not worth it. Try talking to the parents first if that does not work then go to the school, if that fails then you go to the police, hopefully it will be nipped in the bud with the parents.

Yes Yoopr there are some parents who could care less and never should be allowed to raise children, however I refuse to believe they are the majority.....

It Is What It is....

Timberwolf