Truck Driving Jobs

Kensbabydoll · #1 05-07-2007, 04:31 PM

My fiance's dad has been OTR for 14 years now, and while my fiance doesn't have his CDL yet, he is riding with his dad to help him unload the deliveries. The plan is for him to get his CDL, start driving and see where things go. He's ridden with his dad in the past, and it wasn't easy then either. Actually, last time he rode with his dad, he ended up rupturing 2 discs in his lower back, resulting in his 3rd back surgery. So, I'm concerned about that. He's been at it this time for about 2 months, and I am having a real hard time with it. It could be worse, right now he's gone a week and home a week due to his dad's increasing age. But the last trip he was on, he was stuck in Idaho for a week waiting for a load back, putting the whole trip at 2 weeks. Prior to that, the longest we'd ever been apart was 9 days.
I am having the most trouble dealing with not knowing when he'll be home so I can't plan anything for us to do together as a couple. We each have kids from prior marriages, and the way his trips are falling right now, when the kids are gone to their other parents for the weekend, I'm home alone because he's gone. That's great for the kids, but what about any time for just the 2 of us? There isn't any, and it really bothers me.
How do you ladies deal with the uncertainty and being in the dark? I know I can't stand not knowing what's going on and when he'll be home. I think that's harder than him being gone. I have things to keep me busy, for instance I work out 6 days a week, we just bought our first house, the kids take up time, as does planning the wedding, but there are only so many things I can do to stay busy.
I am so sorry that this is so long, but I think I have found a place where my feelings will be understood and heard. My fiance's mom just tells me that I'll get used to it, and my friends don't want to keep hearing about how much I miss him. Any advice from you seasoned wives will be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance.

Kensbabydoll · #2 05-07-2007, 04:39 PM

I've been reading some posts from the other ladies, and now I feel like a whiny brat. Some of you are dealing with hubbys who are gone for weeks at a time, and I'm complaining about a week or 2. I have it pretty good compared to some of you ladies. Am I just being silly and unrealistic?

shyykatt · #3 05-07-2007, 08:25 PM

Took me a good year to get used to it- still have days where I miss the hell outta him; I try not to think "Oh gosh, I am alone and miss him, "- that'll just drag ya down thinkin' like that. Do ya'll have cell phones? We talk to eachother daily, that really helps too. Your not being a baby- it is a tough lifestyle, but just remember, its even harder on him.

Kensbabydoll · #4 05-07-2007, 08:38 PM

Yes, thankfully we have cell phones with unlimited text. I don't know what I'd do without that phone. I try not to let it get me down, but it really hits me at night when I go to bed and he's not there to snuggle with.

shyykatt · #5 05-07-2007, 08:43 PM

Same here- especially w/all the wackos running around my neighborhood- very scary, and all I have for a weapon is a pitchfork!

Kensbabydoll · #6 05-07-2007, 08:54 PM

A pitchfork? Lol...my fiance is an avid martial artist and has knives and machetes stashed all over the house. Plus we have our big doggie who is scared of the cats...won't she be a help in the event of a break in? Lmao.

shyykatt · #7 05-08-2007, 02:07 AM

I hear ya- we have 3 labs, and although their barking sounds mighty nasty, they'd rather play ball or lick your face :lol:

jnk2001 · #8 05-08-2007, 03:37 AM

Quote:

Actually, last time he rode with his dad, he ended up rupturing 2 discs in his lower back, resulting in his 3rd back surgery. So, I'm concerned about that. He's been at it this time for about 2 months, and I am having a real hard time with it.

Back problems is the number one problem for truck drivers. If he has a bad back now, he may have a short career..

#9 05-11-2007, 06:36 PM

Tell me about the back problems been off the road for 7 years now and still paying for them.

BookBimbo · #10 05-12-2007, 01:12 PM

The most important thing is attitude. Okay so you can't plan things because of his schedule. Give yourself a giant gold star for understanding this. Some people never catch on to that fact.

I don't know what sorts of relationships the two of you have with the other parents of your children, but do what you can to make it as good as possible. Explain to them what the situation is, and see if they'll be flexible about the schedule, letting the kids be with you when he is home. Use the "It's for the good of the kids" line. Okay I just reread your post, and you were more concerned that the kids were always around when he's home. That's what happens when you have kids. Your time for the two of you is between 11:20 and 11:37PM. Use your time wisely.

Consider having him look into companies that have a "no touch" policy when it comes to freight. My husband hasn't been driving for zillions of years like some of the people here, but he knows that he has better things to do than unload boxes when he's stopped, like playing his computer games or watching a movie. No picking up boxes=No back problems from picking up boxes. Sure he might develop back problems from getting in and out of the truck, and from his past injuries, but why go looking for more trouble?

There are several forums that are available to the significant others of truck drivers. Here are some links

www.atruckerswife.com
http://www.marriedtoatrucker.com/
http://www.loads.org/
http://www.angelsoftruckers.com/

There are others out there as well. Check them out and find one that suits your style. I belong to a couple, and they all seem to be a bit too supportive of everyone no matter how stupid the people involved are (I have issues with people laughing about their DUIs) but you'll find support, helpful instructions, and meet a lot of women in the same boat as you/us.

As for keeping busy, I can only suggest that you get a job or find a hobby. Volunteer at your kids or step-kids school, or at some other organization. It's not only good advice for this time of your life, but for later when your kids are grown up. You don't want to be calling your youngest child when he or she is away from college and asking if they want you to drive 274 miles to do their laundry. It'll freak out their roommates.

Get a family plan cellphone with unlimited calling for people on the same plan. That way the two of you can call each other while he's driving or stopped for the night. I know that my state has outlawed texting while driving, and next year you'll have to use a handsfree/bluetooth device to talk while driving. On that front I'll tell you right now to get him a Blue Parrot headset. It has a boom mike, so he can talk while driving and you don't hear all the background noise in the truck.