[Slimland]

Everyone knows my wife has cancer, well she has got it in her mind that her life needs to be lived to its fullest potential. She has left me, and thinks another family can take care of her better than I.

Before anyone says anything, as far as it is known it has not went to the brain and she is in remission. She wants a divorce and after fighting this idiotic and bad choice of hers. I have to let her go. Her family mom, brother and sister are understanding and wished she would come home also. But she is 35 years old and can make her own stupid mistakes.

So my absence will only prolong for awhile again, while I focus on my children and my relation ship with my Savior whom I have put on the back burner the last 3 years.

I want to thank all my friends for there support in this, especially jinx aka Bluemoo. and Windwalker who have kept in contact with me.
It is funny to me because I was actually accused of having a affair with jinx when I have only met her once. She sent me an email asking how my wife was doing, and of course my wife read into something that wasn't even there..
But no worries and peace to y'all, I will be back soon enough just got to get my **** strait now.

Slimland

[Fredog]

[BigWheels]

That stinks Slimland.

Hang in there. Never forget nor lose hope that God is pulling for you.

Here's a saying I ran across awhile back that has inspired me when encountering challenging moments in life. It's called "Anyway" and is attributed to Mother Theresa:


Anyway....

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.

LOVE THEM ANYWAY

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.

DO GOOD ANYWAY

If you are successful, you win false and true enemies.

SUCCEED ANYWAY

The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow.

DO GOOD ANYWAY

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY

What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight.

BUILD ANYWAY

People really need help but may attack you if you help them.

HELP PEOPLE ANYWAY

Give the world your best and you'll get kicked in the teeth.

GIVE THE WORLD YOUR BEST ANYWAY

- Mother Theresa

[Jackrabbit379]

I'm sorry to hear about this, Slim.

I'll be prayin for ya!

[Slimland]

I am going to post a email that I responded to RoadHog My friend, who was concerned. Here is the latest.

Thanks man, it has been real hard to let her go. Mainly because she has been making such poor decisions. She is getting high on top of her pain meds, she has been lost and not knowing where she is even without them. She has a reality that I am a bad man, and all our problems are my fault and takes no responsibility for her own. She claims that I gave her the cancer. She was admited into the hospital yesterday they are going to scan her brain to see if the cancer has spread..

This is messed up, We had just made love Sunday and Monday, then she left me Tuesday. Then on top of that she was supposed to help me go through my kids stuff cause I am moving. Her knowing me, brings a guy over and puts him in danger of his life. I calmly got my rifle and told her to take him home, or I put a bullet in him. She acted like she had every right to do what she did..

I went to the hospital to see her, the hospital told me what her room was, so I could tell her. I went a couple of hours after she should have gotten there. Well The room had someone else in it. The nurses station told me that she was not there. I went to leave the hospital, and low and behold there are my 2 step children and that guy his name is Buddy. I told Buddy I wanted to talk to him and I promised I wouldn't hurt him. I told him he was messing with a married woman who just might not be in her right mind, and in my thinking that makes him a Predator and I don't like predator's. He said I was reading into what I thought of he and her, lying bastard, I know for a fact what his plans are cause he told my step son.. He is 50 years old and has a bad heart lives in a 5h wheel behind my wife's friends who smoke dope. I didn't care if she smoked it, just as long as she was at home where she could be watched and not get anyone else's family in trouble. But again she makes poor decisions.

This guy is driving her truck and I can be held responsible in the state of Texas for his actions while he is in the vehicle. While at the hospital and Lubbock Police officer showed up, and I explained the situation, He said the same thing. So I had my daughter talk to him, and he thought it was best to take the truck home to her mothers and park it till she gets out. It is not here yet, and if it doesn't get taken care of today, then I have no choice but to have it towed home. So that way this bastard doesn't make matters worse if he gets in a accident. It also has no insurance I am not going to support her bad decision making.

I am not completely convinced that the cancer is the problem. I think now that it is the drugs she is mixing. But I will not know for sure until they do the scan and I am told. If she is considered incompetent then I have the legal right to take over, but I am sure they will keep that hidden from me.

All I want is her safety and to not be a prey for anyone. Right now she is safe at the hospital, but my interest in my finances are at stake with the pickup. Not to mention not being told anything is pissing me off, and my legal right to know how my wife is, is being violated.

But in all this I have been blessed, I heard my Lords Voice Again just like I did 3 to 4 years ago. I had to let go of my bitterness and Anger, I realized I had Idolized my wife and my problems with the finances and forgot Trust. God put on my heart to let her Go, and Focus on my 2 children, she would be taken care of. I know he doesn't like divorce but she left, and according to his word I have to let her.

My friend My heart is broken beyound anything I have ever experienced, 12 years of marriage gone with a snap. I know this sounds bad, but I think you will understand what I am saying when I say. "I hope that it is medical, I can forgive and understand if she is not in her right mind" But if it is not, then that is just pure evil.

thanks for the ear
Slimland

From this letter not much has changed, she is still in the hospital, and I am still not allowed to see her, and she will not return my calls..
My kids today said that she has glossy eye's and is not herself even at the hospital. So whatever she got mad at me about, well it is her reality. Still do not know if it is cancer or fried brain cells, or just plain drugs like her perscriptions mixed with the pot she smoked at her so called friends.

But I have gotten my kids rooms packed now comes the hard part. I still have to leave to keep the peace either way. If her mother doesn't take over, then that leaves me know choice but to move her with me. Provided it is the cancer.

Slimland

[Jmurman]

Slimland, my heart goes out to you and your wife. I've been through divorce with a woman that was bi-polar...tough stuff and wouldn't wish what you are going through on anyone.

Stay focused on The Rock.

[Slimland]

Well I seen Angie yesterday she was more herself, I helped her pick up the hay for the horses so she could meet the guy. I was able to spend some time with her and talk. I know that beyound a shadow of a doubt that she is NOT with that guy buddy. She is aware that he likes her, but she is only interested in making it on her own, and has told me that the only one she wants to be with in that sense is me.. I know my wife and that I do believe she wasn't lying, she don't do that to well..

I also found out that her passing out was not because of pot. That she had only done a few times, the reason was her doctor put her on Valuim and that mixed with her methadone caused a reaction. The thing is even after she was still doing it, just not as often and only at night.. The brain scan showed a stroke, and she has spots all over her brain that there watching. They think it is Cancer. Also she has heavy Nodules in her neck, armpits, other breast that they also are watching. Right now they are to small for biopsy. But the prognosis doesn't look good.
She still wants to be on her own, she has always had someone take care of her. So I think she is going to have to move in with her mother. I told her she always has a home with me no matter where I live. I was reading Corinthians and noticed that Paul states that I cannot Divorce her, unless she has committed adultery. I told her that, and again she stated that I am the only one she wants to be with in that aspect, and right now she is not interested in anything like that she just wants to find herself..
I can understand that, and it eases the pain. To know that. So I am looking at some places and packing still.

I told her that if she ever was to come back to me no matter where I was living that she cant have one foot out the door, and still expect it to work. She just wants to try to make it on her own, something she has never done, and she will keep herself pure and has no interest in anyone else.

I find myself just wanting to grab her and hold her, but I feel that the Lord is saying let it go, she will be ok. Who knows maybe after working on me alone, and her alone she will come home to me in due time. But I am not crying over her anymore I am focusing on Tanis and Rachel and getting a new place. I just pray that when and if she comes home I at least have a little time with the Angie I know before the Lord takes her home, even if it is a few months. This stuff is developing fast..

Slimland

[Jackrabbit379]

Slim, I am sorry to hear about all of this..
I wouldn't wish this on anyone, and I wished that this hasn't happened. We don't know why 'things' happen. God places things in our lives to help us grow, and to stregthen us. Something like this might be an example, but something this bad to happen really makes you ask, 'why?' Just do your best every day. Be strong in the Lord and the power of His might!
I can imagine how hard this is on you, but it might encourage you to think about, and maybe read the book of Job.
You never know what God has in store, you just have to put your trust in Him. Cast all of your cares upon Him, because He cares for you. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.

[Roadhog]

Slim, you know you really have problems, if even the squirrels are messing with your head!


"I looked in the mirror today
My eyes just didn't seem so bright
I've lost a few more hairs
I think I'm going bald
I think I'm going bald"

lyrics by Rush

Awah crap! wouldja lookit that!

[mommee]

sorry to hear about what's happening to you slimland. i have been trying to post for a few days, but had issues. i know your faith will get you through this and just to put your trust in God. and if you need a friend, i am just a PM away.