[Useless]

I just want to take one moment to remind everyone that so far, we have yet to hear from Chris's ex-girlfriend.

Chris, I wish you well, but right now, I'm feeling like I've "been had" to a certain degree. In your first post, you reveal that you have been ghost writing for your ex-girlfriend. We thought that her name was Novacane, and now we know that you were posting for her.....not too big a problem in and of itself. As far as her cheating, you actually went on to say that she "cheated on you with her HUSBAND"?? So, she was married, but was with you, yet you are a benevolent Prince Charming, but you were not a part of her cheating?? Hello!!! Sounds like this situation has all of the making of "The Jerry Springer Show"!!!!"

We then discover that "you saved her" from a destiny of living as a drug addict and a welfare mother. Now, I'm not calling you wrong here, but I am extremely curious about what your ex-girlfriend would have to say about that. Based upon your ghost writings, she struggled as a rookie flat-bed driver, but she found the strength to persevere; that doesn't sound like the typical "welfare mother" mentality.

Then, we read your story about how you are disabled, and how she left you. Moving along, we then discover that you became something of a control freak (due to her cheating, of course!!) and that your so-called "disability" is morbid obesity. Hmmmm..... the pieces to this puzzle just don't seem to fit too well.

To my way of thinking, there are certain disabilities that some people have to bear. In my case, I'm severely dyslexic, and have ADHD. I never got help for either problems as a child, as my parents were too filled with self pride to even think of getting me help. In addition to that, they didn't want counselors getting involved in our family life either; there were too many deep dark secrets being carried out on behind closed doors. So, even though I had no resources for help as a child, I found a way to work around my problems. I never chose to be dyslexic, or to have ADHD. I do have my failings, and my character flaws, but I don't disguise my weaknesses as a "disease" or a "disability".

As a nurse, I spent too many years working with people who are truly disabled to accept your situation as being one over which you had no control. As I read your first post, (where you posted as "Chris",) my heart went out to you. Now, I see you as trying to paint yourself as a helpless victim. So far, you have made one excuse after another for your failings. You very poignantly articulate her failings in this relationship, and you seem to have no trouble airing out her dirty laundry for all of us, but you seem equally ready to justify, rationalize, and excuse away your own failings here. You became increasingly obese because she did everything for you?? That is what you said!! Just what was it that kept you from getting up off of your ass and filling up your own car with gasoline?? She wouldn't let you?? She somehow stopped you from seeking help for your weight problem?? Do you really expect me to buy that line of crap??

While morbid obesity may be a disability to some degree, for many people, it is a disability that can be rectified. Gastric Bypass surgery has been around for a while now. You say that proper diet and exercise don't work for you; as one who has taught human anatomy and physiology, I have to ask myself why proper diet and exercise won't work for you, but starving yourself, and driving your metabolism into shock mode will?? I'm sorry, but to a certain degree, it seems that you have chosen this disability.

Now that she has left you, you will be in a position to help yourself, whereas you couldn't do it in the past?? If that is true, then her leaving you could turn out to be the most wonderful gift that she could give you!! Now, why is it that you couldn't help yourself while she was with you??

The question that I'm having to ask myself is "What future did your ex-girlfriend have with you"?? You even went on to say that she became a driver because you wanted her to become a driver, since that was one of your unfulfilled ambitions. Based upon the stories that she conveyed to us through you, she got out there and took control over her own life, and struggled like hell to make it work. Based upon the stories that you have conveyed about yourself, you are one to sit back and let life happen to you. On one hand, you paint yourself as a knight in shinning Armour who road up and saved your ex-girlfriend from a life of poverty. Then you paint yourself as "having a disability....then you reveal that your disability is extreme obesity.......

Throughout ALL of this, we have yet to hear from your Ex-girlfriend!! Now, I'm left to ponder what her side of the story would be here.

All the while, you have painted your ex-girlfriend as an ingrate who left you for another man. Could it be that the reason she left you was that she grew to be someone who got off of her butt and decided to do something constructive, while you wallowed in self pity and your disability check?? Could it be that THAT was what caused the two of you to grow apart?? She is out there busting her ass, while you live on the public dole?? So, she got fed up with it; can you blame her??

This is NOT a story of a solid 12 yr. relationship gone asunder; this is a story of two co-dependant people who were together on and off for twelve years!! This relationship between the two of you has been screwed up for a long time, and from what I see, you are just as much to blame as she is!! You've done a good job of blaming her, but you have every excuse in the book for your conduct.

If that's the case, don't blame the trucking industry, or her work as a driver for being the culprit in the demise of your relationship.

[USMC Vet]

Very well said Useless !!!!!!!!

[headset]

:shock:

[Useless]

Chris,

Have you been to see an Endocrinologist?? Have you been professionally diagnosed?? Have you been CORRECTLY diagnosed, and if so, what type of specialist rendered the diagnosis??

Based upon what you are telling me, there may be solutions; but it does not sound like your problem is being properly addressed.

I was a Radiology Nurse in my past life; if I can be of any help, I'll certainly do anything that I can. I'm not an M.D., nor do I portend to be an expert on weight loss, but I do have a strong network of physicians, including specialists, to talk too.

P.M. me if you'd prefer to keep it private. I do understand that there are some things involving your condition that are really not suited for an open forum

I do know that protracted fasting will cause more harm than good. :shock:

Peace,
Useless

[westboundand down]

Useless..... You hit every nail on the head! I haven't read a word you've written until this post Chris, but, in just these four short pages, I've formed a pretty strong opinion. I have to agree with the tough love stance that Useless and Hobo have taken. The first few posts proved to me what a wonderful gift and talent you must have been given. These folks on here that have kept up with your story have shown nothing but the deeepest admiration and then suddenly, you do the wisest thing so far... you get real.... or more importantly ... REAL HONEST!!! Get off your ass man! You've had 12 years of this chick waiting on you hand and foot.... by this time, you could have published a entire library! Get your mind on your true gift. I plan to go back and catch up because now I'm completely mesmerized by what these people have had to say of your writings. Forget the weight and truck driving and the feeble attempts to show 'her'... I've played that game. Work on you and I think your best outlet is through your talent for prose. Publishers can easily be contacted via email and telephone. Write MAN! WRITE!!!! Start slinging manuscripts out there left and right and I bet you'll find yourself becoming so consumed by it that you'll begin to discover something that you let slip aside some time back... self-approval, self-esteem and self-worth. Stay away from the booze and especially don't slip back into your pot-smoking. That would be a sure way to keep putting on the pounds! This chick was your first love and she took care of you. Useless hit it directly on the head... you both were/are severely co-dependent. If you really think you love her, try loving yourself for awhile instead and see how that feels. Give to the world your gift of penmanship and I'll be willing to bet... the world will give back multitudes more... enough to pay the mortgage, the gastric bypass and more than that, to help rebuild your independence and self-worth. I'm new on here, but, man.... I think I can say for the majority of us, WE FEEL FOR YOU!!! Now .... get off your butt and get busy making feel un-sorry for you....lol! Good luck and God be strong with you! Peace!

[xroofer]

sorry to hear what happend. when did she work for JB i thought she was working for roehl, or is she with jb now. well dont quit posting I will keep you in my prayers also.

[montanabrand]

Chris, I imagine that you feel you are the only one who has troubles. I for one have been married to a truck driver for over 20 years. Do I ever see the man, No. Anyways, cry me a river, and I cry too. My husband just recently came down with a disease which will lay him off of work from driving for near a year. Well, we will have to sale our home, possibly one vehicle. He had just changed jobs and we were seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.. BOOM! his illness hit us hard. His family came down on me hard during ths time making me the reason for his illness, nothing but trouble on the horizon~ Would I like to leave, well, Hell yea, !!!!! I am fed up with his family interferring with our lives, and fighting them every other day. But you know, I won't leave him , but due to his family harassing me daily I will probably move to another town far away from them all. I might sound something like your wife, unreasonable. But on my end, if my husband wants to follow me to a more peaceful life he is welcome to me. I just won't sit around and fight with his family about stupidity until the day I die, which one never knows when they will. I have gathered strength from within myself and have now decided to stand up for ME. I'm not going to sit around and let the world or his brothers and sisters run over the top of me making me miserable. In the end, we need to look out for ourselves. And sometimes I think to hell with the world..not wanting to separate myself tho, but just wanting to be left alone. Personally, if my world doesn't normalize and the fighting doesn't quit, I will walk too. I don't want it that way, but for God's Sake life needs to go on. We all face elements and conditions in our lives where we need to face them head on. Well... I could be considered a whiner as you are doing. I feel for you, but let her go. Persuade yourself from within that there is always another fish in the sea. Sounds very cliche' I know ~~~ She's gone and she's not comimg back. I doubt it has anything to do with anyone being a truck driver. She was probably sick and tired of you moping around and not trying to get well after your disability occurred. There is only so much another person can do to comfort another in their time of need. We are all normal in this sense. This is a stressful world that we live in. Time and money consumes us even tho we don't all admitt to it.
Sometimes love comes and goes in our lives. I imagine she tried to fight that feeling but decided to just roll with it and grab the guy while the getting was good. That's my motto, "Get her while the gettings good" I'd go find another woman and love the heck out of her, be happy! To hell with what's her face and the boat she sailed in on.

[montanabrand]

Chris, I just read the posting about your weight and honesty. It is a toughy being obese, and people are not very kind. But, you are on dsability and I'm a betting woman that says that they will pay for you to have bariatric surgey and whatever surgery you may need afterwards to get rid of your loose skin. I've watched these surgeries on real life stories many times. I don't think you are the only one in the world who will be facing this surgery. In fact, I see that there are Dr's who will donate their time and surgeries for free to help a person in need. I believe many of these fine Dr's are down in Calif. Use your search engine on the web to find Dr's who donate their time to medically needy , or call a university hospital such as the Mayo and ask them to direct you as needed. I don't understand why you are insistent upon slamming your ex girlfriend into the dirt because she left you. Obviously you don't intend to do much moving around or becoming physically active with her, no pun intended, just an observation. I guess I might call it quits too if I didn't see my future going anywhere beyond the house, couch and refridgerator. By no means am I skinny, but am chunky. I have a belly roll that needs to be diminished more as I age into latter years. When my husband became ill I saw fit that I immediately take on any job that I could lay my hands on, which was a janitorial position. Lots of physical activity involved, lifting, constant moving, etc. I am beat at that the end of 5 hours, but have noticed I am losing weight, which is good. At any rate it surprised me that I could perform the duties as well as I am. I huff and puff, but get her done. My point being..and it is hard if you weigh what you say you do, to get your body moving with all of that weight wobbling around. But, Man, you won't live very long carrying that package around for too many years. It's your life, if you want to live you'll do more than fast. Fasting, dieting, it won't help you. Hasn't helped anyone else, that is why they invented bariatric surgey. My husband's brother and sister in law had the surgery. She lost alot weight, of course is back to chowing down. He lost alot also, but continues to eat. But they are back to walking and trying to lose again, don't look too bad. Go have the surgey and forget about this woman. Personally, I think you want to sit on this trucking forum and talk about issues that nobody but You can resolve. I came on here to find a trucking position, but it seems noone talks about Trucking Opportunities, instead it has become a Peyton Place gossip column for the woes and whining people who cannot get their life together. Why don't you use PM to talk about your personal conflict with this woman? Go to YAHOO Messenger and start a chatroom for the life and times of a trucking woman. At any rate, you should count your lucky stars that she was able to find a position in this field and make a fresh start in life for herself. You couldn't have expected her to sit in the house and wait on you for the rest of her life, could you? Quit being a Big Baby and get your butt in gear! Go see a therapist , or take a drug to help yourself calm down. Do something for yourself tho' Stop blaming your weight issues and personal realtionship with your so called charming wife/girlfriend on the entirety of the trucking industry. Most of us are out there driving our butts off trying to make a decent living for ourselves and our family. We don't have any time to fool around, much less eat , breath or sleep. Get your facts straight ~~ It makes me mad when people like you give us hard working truck drivers a bad name by calling us tramps, and every other filthy name in the book . Your relationship has nothing to do with driving truck. She pulled the brakes on you, and now is stopped.

[Novacane]

btw, I am almost 70 pages into a book. Its kind of like a life story type book, but is meant to follow about how habits are hard to break, and how they can effect your life. It should have everyone crying in real pain alongside me as they will finally understand some very basic things in life.

Will the ending be Happy? Sad? Tragic? or will it leave you hanging. You will probably never know since even if I have time to finish it, I wouldn't know what to do with it. Right now writing is the only thing to bring me sanity.

Thanks again

someone please explained to me what has happened here? i just came in for a couple of days and have not seen what has started this thread, I can kind of piece it together but i need some help here. So where none of Novacanes posts actually made by heather? i am confused....did she really have these jobs and these problems...I know she at least exists for real because i put her down for a driver referal at my Barr Nunn orientation and they remembered her, does she still work there, did she/him/they get the money from that referal...I am so thorughly confused with this...someone explain please.....