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Old 10-15-2007, 10:11 PM
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Default Cheating

just wondering if any of the truckers spouses here have been cheated on... The reason I'm asking is because i need advise... my husband has admitted to attempting to cheat years ago but i think he is cheating now with someone at the dispatching office she gives me dirty looks when greeting him and if it weren't for the looks she asts like i don't exist.... he says theres nothing to it after at least lying about talking to her for 6 months... and said he would leave if i ask her what her problem is or if i say anything to get her in trouble at work ....need someone else's opinion
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Old 10-15-2007, 10:15 PM
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I'm sure it happens
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Old 10-16-2007, 01:17 AM
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Rebel-

It happens in any industry. Sounds like she is local since you see her from time to time. I dont know that I can give advice as I have a spouse who cheated a while back-- before driving a truck--- so my trust level is not real high.

My husband believes that "talking" to another woman is ok. And I agree. Over the years I have had friends that are men. They were better friends than my girlfriends at times, and it is nice to get a perspective from the opposite sex. But lying about these talks- and hiding them-- are another thing. I cannot condone lying and I have put up with more than my share from him. Ask myself why a lot. I know I love him that is for sure.

Go with your heart and mind I guess. If is meant to work out it will. When and if you have had enough, you will know and you will know what to do. It is easy for us to say "If i were you I would....... ". But you know unless you are in the situation yourself, you have no idea how you will handle it.

Hopefully he is not doing anything wrong and it will all pass... that is very possible too.
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Old 10-18-2007, 12:36 PM
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To be honest...I don't have time for a lying,cheating spouse. I know that when I leave home my wife is faithful and so am I. If you don't have trust you don't have much. That's just my opinion and it's probably worth what it cost to read it. :wink:
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Old 10-18-2007, 01:43 PM
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RB :
Quote:
attempting to cheat years ago but i think he is cheating now with someone at the dispatching office she gives me dirty looks when greeting him and if it weren't for the looks she asts like i don't exist.... he says theres nothing to it after at least lying about talking to her for 6 months... and said he would leave if i ask her what her problem is or if i say anything to get her in trouble at work ....need someone else's opinion
All I can say is ... if a woman follows her gut ... she'll never be wrong. Sounds like that's what's happening. .... I've been where your at ~ I walked away from him and have never regretted it ... it hurt like hell leaving, but soon after he was cheating on other females too. .... There is NO reason for someone at the office to be giving you dirty looks - - NONE ... your the wife and the office wants their drivers happy. I'm sure theres a policy about NOT dating within the company .... just for these kind of reasons. .......... Follow your Gut !
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Old 10-18-2007, 03:22 PM
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Please do not take what I am about to say as an attempt to turn anything back on you. I am just pointing out some possibilites on what may be going on and why it may be going on.

For the dirty looks:
The first is that there is an affair in progress.

The second is that there is no affair but the office worker is wanting one.

Third your husband is sharing "problems" he percieves in your marriage and this office worker thinks you are being cold hearted to what she sees a wonderful person.

As far as your husband lying to you:

1: Affair

2: He is wanting one and is trying to get her into bed

3: They are nothing but friends but he may see you as a very jealous person and wanted to avoid any type of confrontation with him having a female friend.

4: There is nothing going on and he is just a very private person by nature or he is feeling like he is "cheating" on you by simply talking to another woman on anything more than a business level and is feeling guilty about it.

Regardless of the reason though it sounds like you and your husband really need to have a long heart to heart talk in as a non confrontational manner as you and he can manage. Marriage counseling may also be in order, even if you go by yourself.

Generally when people cheat in a relationship it is because they either feel trapped or they feel something is missing, which in a way is the same thing. If you can find out what the problem is then you may be able to fix it.
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Old 10-23-2007, 12:45 AM
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I tend to not jump to the worse conclusions with stuff like this.....I'd rather think she was having a bad day, maybe something going on with someone else not the way she's wanting it to go (not anyone in your family, someone else entirely) and when she sees anyone she asociates with work (family member of another employee gets her thinking about work again) then maybe she's getting on a bad face for that or not even realizing she's making a bad face (don't know how many times I've most likely done that not meaning anything with the expressions) ...... With her being a dispatcher possible she hears alot from other drivers family members wanting their driver home right now and things that are out of her control cause those loads have to go and someone has to get them there........

He admitted cheating years ago....therefore you have that on your mind that is, well at least was at one point, capable of doing so...doesn't mean he currently is cheating or is even thinking about it now though.......if so I'm thinking he'd have tried hiding that lil fact instead of being open about it...if you didn't have the knowledge that he did this years ago would it be on your mind now? I find sometimes once I find something out like that it takes me awhle to sort things out and to not see them as still that way...times change, people change, nothing stays the same....

Wishing you all the best over there and hoping things clear up and that lady in the office just has an upside down smile that's difficult for her to turn the right direction......
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Old 10-23-2007, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris M
To be honest...I don't have time for a lying,cheating spouse. I know that when I leave home my wife is faithful and so am I. If you don't have trust you don't have much. That's just my opinion and it's probably worth what it cost to read it. :wink:
Amen, I was going to pretty much say the same thing, me and my wife trust each other 110% but if the trust isn't there neather is the husband wife relationship. No I will tell you something that might change this somewhat. When we were 1st married I looked at those dirty things (you know what i meen) and she views it the same as looking around. Her trust at that point was at a low but since I now can see it from her perspective I no longer do that and the trust is back up. Just make sure he can see it from your perspective 1st and mabe he'll change the way he does things around her or even look for another company. I know nothing, and i meen nothing is more important to me than my wife. I'd quit this job in an instant if it was jepordizing our marrage. Thats saying a lot since I finaly found a job I love like this.
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Old 12-05-2007, 11:43 PM
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Default Cheating Husband

I am new to this forum and I just need some advice. I have caught my husband having breakfast on two separate occasions with woman he worked with. He swears he has never done anything. I am so mixed up on what to do. In March of this year he decided to become a truck driver and chose to work for a company in Wausau, Wisconsin. He now never comes home, doesn't answer his phone, spends almost 1/2 of what he makes and racks our cell phone bill to close to $400.00 dollars a month. I have called his dispatch to ask them to have him call home, after I haven't been able to reach him for days. When he does call he is always spouting off how I embarrassed him. I ask him where he has been and get told I have no right to know. I have found hotel receipts in his truck, he is always dying his hair and mustache. I have searched and found him at restaurants and have called them to speak with him and then he yells and screams that is wants out (of the marriage). When he does come home he is so rude and starts fights with me and then leaves. Making it seem as though it is all my fault. My kids think I made their dad leave and then they get mad a me and it's crazy in our house for days. They feel abandoned and alone as I do. If my husband isn't cheating then can anyone tell me what he is doing. He is 40 years old. That is one reason he says he can't get a local job. We live in Ga. Any advice would be helpful.
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:15 AM
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Default Re: Cheating Husband

Quote:
Originally Posted by toolady
Any advice would be helpful.
In your case I think he is having an affair. There really is no reason for him to be racking up $400+ in cell phone bills every month on business related calls unless you have some really crappy local cell provider who keeps him in roam as soon as he steps off his front porch.

While I hate to see any marriage end, in this case it might be for the best. Since he wants out you should go see an attorney and have divorce papers, child custody papers, and child support orders drawn up.
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