Medication? I,m arfff!!! Tatty Bye

 

Definitely good to have both of you back!

 

Dang! Twilight!! That must be why YOU'RE a site Admin.... and I'm just a lowly Super Trucker!! How could I have MISSED it??? :shock:

Two deranged Truckers..... 3 months off the boards?? And they WERE planning a caper last time I heard of them! Wonder how they got caught?? More importantly..... WHERE did they hide the LOOT??? :lol:

Worst part about it is.... I just thought they'd lost interest in us!! I've wasted TENS of dollars on therapy over this!! :evil:

I bet it was haulin' those Illegals across the borders!! Good money in that.... if you don't get caught!! :wink:

HOTWOGGIE!! You guys are my HERO!!! Real OUTLAW truckers YOU two are!!! Why didn't you let me "IN" on it???? Okay.... I know! Big mouth, eh?? ops:

Hey..... let me know when the HEAT is off ya! I got a "SURE THING" smugglin in Pilot Scalemasters that can't speak English!!! No one will EVER know the difference!! Honestly!! 8)

Hot Diggity!! I haven't been THIS excited since I bought my CDL!!! :wink:

 

Hi...I'm Dr. Phil
I can say Unique New York
10x real fast..can you?


In today's program,
"Together They Fight Crime"
we will be talking with Hobo and his imaginary girlfriend. (a rather fiesty Blow up Doll named S-s-s-sarah.)
He’s an oversexed time tossed chivalrous cowboy stage actor, looking for love in all the wrong places. She’s a European Aristocrat amnesiac with someone else’s memories, AWOL from FBI witness protection. “Together They Fight Crime.”

Actually Hobo just thinks she’s a blow-up doll, because she is a sarcastic mute nymphomaniac, yet he still feels guilty for his behavior, so he pretends it’s all not real. She enjoys the anonymity of it all…but she can’t remember why. It’s c-r-a-z-y…but we don’t know if she is for real or just taunting us. That will be the topic of another show. “Do Blow-up Doll’s Have Feeling’s.” You won’t want to miss that episode.

I want to help you, help him, help you, help me, help him, help you, help him, help me. ….no wait….I want to help him, help him, help you, help him, help me, help you, help him.

...but first some messages from our sponsers. Don't go away...we'll be right back.




[husband to his wife] Well honey....I'm finally taking you to the Pho-King restaurant, to buy you that Pho-King dinner you've been wanting. That is if Pho-King's is okay with you now!!! :?

 

What happens next in the crime fighting life of Golfhobo and Elasta doll?

 

Roadhog, where do you come up with this stuff?! :shock:

Your mind is a very scary place my friend. Great to have you back!

 

Yeah, come ON... Hoggie!! I'm DYING to know if I got lucky or not!! Sssarah won't TELL me!! :shock:

 

I don't know what the hell to say about you funny people. Yes I do keep it up we need humor! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

It’s not my fault. I suffer irrevocable brain damage from when I was a child, and developed a chronic PU-2 deficiency.


This resulted in abnormal amounts of fluid on my brain, and I became single-minded, unlike most normal male children.

 

Hi I’m Dr. Phil…I can say;
“The Big Black Bug Bled Black Blood”
10x real fast…can you?

Welcome back…
if you are just joining us, on today’s show “Together They Fight Crime” we have Hobo and his partner S-s-s-sarah. Crime Fighters and quite frankly, Hero’s in a society gone Mad. Please give them a warm welcome!



Now before we get started, Hobo we have a surprise for you. It was not easy to track your mates from Arkham down, since the State cutbacks forced the release of 80% of the general population…keeping only the diagnosed Criminally Insane.
[Hobo’s foot begins tapping uncontrollably from memories of shock treatments]


Arkham Asylum

…However, with the help of your mentor Dr. Jeremiah Arkham an alleged obsessive-compulsive multiple murderer who once allegedly was a typical incontinent alcoholic vagrant whom merely appeared like a responsible citizen, when given the State sanctioned Appointment as Administrator of Arkham Asylum, based upon his controversial position that “those who are 'cured' and released do not tend to re-offend.”


Dr. Jeremiah Arkham

Dr. Arkham seemed to take a great interest in helping track you and your mates down.
[Hobo now nervously scanning the audience for White Jackets, hanging on the edge of his seat, looking for a direction to BOLT, while chugging a fist full of long-lasting Tums]

We must also point out, it was only a rumor that Dr. Arkham returned to his home back in October 30th of 2003 to find his front door wide open. Where inside, he discovered the raped and mutilated body of Elizabeth, his 5th wife in an upstairs room.

Despite this family tragedy, the Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane officially opened the following year. One of its first patients was Golfhobo, whom Dr. Arkham insisted on personally treating. It was alleged that for six months, Dr. Arkham would strap him to the electroshock couch and purposely electrocute him, then resuscitate him. But through Congressional Investigation, that was quickly resolved as unsubstantiated and unfounded. It was from this scrutiny however, that the catalyst to the now famous Associative Dysfunctional Partner Assistant Program, in which a Blow up Doll was utilized to help Patients cope with dissociate paranoia. It began with Dr. Arkham’s own doll, Eliz-s-s-s-sabeth in honor of his former wife. [a suggestion made by his current wife Mellis-s-s-s-a.] She's a tortured insomniac Refrigerated Truck Driver who has a penchant to fight crime, before she inherited a spooky stately manor [now Arkham Asylum] from her late maiden aunt, whose body has never been found. There were however shards of latex everywhere in her bedroom.

So now please give a warm welcome….
[a diminished applause and murmur from the audience]

Hobo and S-s-s-sarah, here is Hog and Wot.
[Hobo seems startled by the reaction of the audience, and assumes a fetal position yelping “ I won’t go, I won’t go!”]

Hog is a cantankerous arrogant Elitist who misses Scratch & Sniff ads, and is an intellectual misfit gone Rogue, who proudly dates several Blow-up Dolls at the same time to give airs that he is a Rock Star. She/They (not named) are just Latex, one leaks in a rather precocious spot, but has infectious beauty. “Together They Fight Crime.”

Wot is a British Sock Puppet Salesman searching for the mythical Dryer Lint Creature that consumes one Argyle with every wash, in what he believes is an Ancent Religious Sacrifice. She is a Communist Magician's Assistant named Pres-s-s-illa Iymaho who has a micro-chip map with directions to a Doomed World (or a Hidden Circus Labyrinth, we are not sure which) inserted in one of her cracked back molars, and oh yes…she also has an inflatable personality. She often resembles Posh Spice because of her one expression. Ahhhhh…those silly Brits! “Together They Fight Crime.”

[the audience murmur grows into a general hubbub and sounds of cautious intrigue with spatterings of lingering awkward applause and hushed astonishment……….. then an even more awkward period of silence only broken by Hobos meek muffled gibberish, and a faint bit of flatulence, as Wot points an accused finger at Hog]

[more awkward silence, quiet muddled murmur and another much longer strange butt-whistle sound as Hog and Wot take a seat…. Dr. Phil holding his hand to his ear as if listening to a prompt]

Welcome Gentlemen….we must take another Sponsor break, but we will be back after these messages. Don’t go away.


Driver’s…do you find it too hard to shop for Christmas gifts,
necessary items for your Truck,
a good home-cooked meal?
Then please come to Betty Beaver’s.



We have the items that are hard to find.



Meals like Mom use to make, and shop our Super Store for those gifts your family will love.




We are open 24 hours and located right off the Interstate. Take exit 235 left off the ramp, 3 miles then right ¼ mile under the viaduct (don’t pay attention to the 12’6” clearance marker…you’ll fit) go another 4 miles and bare left at Watson’s fork, go 7 miles until you see a red/white/and blue mailbox and turn in there, come down the dirt road ½ mile.