Here are some questions that I found to be particularly stupid/annoying:
1) My best friend who is usually a bright attractive brunette gets lost when outside her comfort zone of Northern Denver. I said to her one day why don't you look and find the mountains then you can figure out what direction you are heading in? Honest to God, she was brought up here and has never moved.... Get this...... She didn't know that the mountains were west of Denver. I still can't stop laughing about that one. Oh my, my!!!
2) People ask me all the time if I have any children. I like to answer with a little twinkle in my eye. "Not that I know of." It usually takes a while for them to comprehend what I'm saying since I'm a female but when it sinks in they start chuckling. In this culture people assume that women couldn't have them when they don't have any children. When a man doesn't have any they assume they didn't want them. I knew from a young age I wouldn't be "Mom" material so I opted not to have any. I know that I could have them, but simply didn't want them.
Inevitably, the next question is, "oh, you couldn't have any?" I almost break into laughter everytime due to the presumptuousness of the question. Have held my tongue on many occasions. I usually just say, "Just because you can procreate does not mean you should." That doesn't seem like a profound statement to me but it really makes people say "um".
3) My Dad was a Fighter Pilot in the U.S.A.F. we were moving to his next station from Grand Forks, N.D. to Tucson, AZ. My youngest brother was getting impatient we had been driving for what seemed like days. He asked us if Tuckson was any where near Tucson. We all started laughing so hard we had tears rolling down our cheeks, when we finally answered him he got defensive and said, "well it looks like Tuckson to me." He's turned out to be a Wizard Computer Guy making lots of money with a huge house in Southern Cal, daughters in Private School, expensive cars, non working wife and he definitely has had the last laugh on us!
4) A question I get often immediately from male drivers trying to discern if they can hit on me is: Do you drive team? I just start laughing and since I hear sexist comments all day long directed at females I say.... "No the only thing I need a man on my truck for is to chain for me in the winter time." Although, some have been offended they usually start laughing hysterically. I say, "hey sexist comments can be turned around boys." One guy told me one day that if he had time he'd show me at least a couple more reasons I'd want a guy on my truck. I said, "well maybe driver but I don't need them 24/7 for those reasons. "
Hey what can I say? I think I've adjusted pretty well to being a lowly paid driver from a high paid Accountant? Never should have been an Accountant in those stuffy pretentious offices anyway. Sometime I'll use that Degree again but having a "hell of a ride for now." I can sling the sh*t with the boys now and not feel guilty. Couldn't even say the word, sex in an office. Oh Baby I'm a long ways from being a stuffy Accountant anymore.
5) One day I got on the radio and was asking outside St. Louis about the ice storms in Western Missouri. This other driver proceeded to chew me up and spit me out. He said, "we've been talking about that for quite sometime don't you have your ears cleaned out." I got divorced 4 years ago and had lived down I-44 where I was heading was rather upset to have to drive by my old friends without stopping-had a hazmat load and didn't want to dump it somewhere to visit. So I wasn't in a particularly good mood. Someone had asked me prior to my question what my handle was. [Which is my signon here-Sizzle.]
By the time I chewed him up and spit him back out, he stuttered and stammered. He said, "well now I know why your handle is Sizzle, it's because of your temper." I said, no Driver but that will be Reason Number Three." The guys on the CB were going crazy, never heard so much laughter at one time on the CB. Hey, a gal's got to do what she's got to do.
By-enjoy yourselves. I certainly do...
8) :roll:
