The Driving Life Across the Pond - A Life of Wot
#131
12-17-2006, 07:11 AM
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Dancing with the bright Pixies at University of Edinburgh
Posts: 2,575
Waving a fond and tearful goodbye, I bid fat boy and the rest farewell. Luckily, there are regular scheduled ferries from Dunkerque, so I was able to get back into England and disembark without any trouble at all.
Being excited at the thought of returning home raised my morale, I was weary and in need of rest and recuperation. As we all do, when homeward bound, I started tanking on and flew up the road like a banshee. How I felt good about myself. Here I was, a fledgling European driver, determined to succeed and make a better life for my wife and I. How I made plans as I drove home to start a family, because now I was earning much better money; I was on the up and my wife could be proud of me. Yes, she could be so proud of her long distance driving husband who was earning the dough that would allow her to do all the things she ever dreamt of: Holidays, cars, plush nightclubs, parties ......... And other blokes! The filthy whore, sinking into her debauched world of carnal gratification and alcohol abuse. Of course, in order to maintain her lifestyle, she would have to tolerate my presence from time to time and even show affection once or twice. Whore, filthy gutter whore. It took me years to find out. The poor fool is always the last to know eh? T.B.C
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 Nemo Me Impune Lacessit
#132
12-17-2006, 11:01 AM
i am, i was going to say george clooney until i realized he can't act worth s**t :roll: so give me a bit to come up with someone else
 and all i can say in reaction to the last installment is  damn, you sure do know how to tell a story! :wink:
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if you throw a cat out of a car window, does it turn into kitty litter?
#134
12-17-2006, 10:31 PM
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Dancing with the bright Pixies at University of Edinburgh
Posts: 2,575
Originally Posted by classicxl
WOT we know you can drive dont know about sean though
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Nemo Me Impune Lacessit
#136
12-18-2006, 04:59 AM
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Dancing with the bright Pixies at University of Edinburgh
Posts: 2,575
After a well earned day and a half off, I was back on the road and heading out to Europe again. Mainly to Italy, but I did have one or two nice short trips to Belgium, France and Holland. My confidence was growing all the while and I felt so much more relaxed as a result of this.
I had made one or two friends who I,d look out for, and if the oppurtunity arose, we would run together. One of these friends was Paul who drove for a company from Northampton. Through him, I learnt of a short cut to bypass Lyon, via the Saint Exupery airport. Taking this route will completely miss out the city of Lyon and save you almost an hour. There aren,t too many drivers who take this road though, and with good reason. I think we would all be in agreement that your first time on a busy stretch of road where you need to turn off several times and rejoin the road is something of a daunting experience? Well, imagine taking the wrong turn on that said road and finding yourself heading towards the confined areas of a passenger carpark in a busy terminal?.....Not the desired objective there methinks! And believe me, it has happened to guys. I,ve seen Hungarian trucks backing up from the terminal with their hazard lights on and weaving about the road like a snake on cannabis- slow, lethargic and completely disorientated. Knowing my way around that short-cut and increasingly gaining knowledge of the countries I was driving to, I committed the cardinal sin of thinking I was better than I actually was at the time. Its neither wise nor practicable to think that you know better than the locals....Well I thought I did! And had I been caught, I would have been sent to the Bastille!! T.B.C
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#138
12-19-2006, 02:22 AM
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Dancing with the bright Pixies at University of Edinburgh
Posts: 2,575
One trip I would like to forget about is the time I went to St. Pierre des Corps, a region of the French city of Tours. It will haunt me till the day I die, such was the gravity of my error.
The trip had began like any other, I was in good spirits and blasting the French motorists with 85 decibels of "Ring of Fire", windows open, and flicking cigarette stubs every 20 kilometres. Getting paid for this? A picnic in France...No, no, make that a tour to Tours, I laughed. I rounded Paris and made way for Orleans, the city of Joan of Arc fame and ... and well, Joan of Arc. Night was rapidly drawing in as I headed south on the A10 towards Tours. Get there tonight, park outside the gates, I,m first in the morning I thought. This style has always been my policy, I hardly ever bothered with truck stops(and would then bemoan if they closed...Hey, I admit to it ok?) I would always push, push, push that little bit extra and get to where I needed to be. Its a policy that ensures loads are there on time but its also been the cause of one or two very scary moments for me. Just as all Englishmen do not wear bowler hats and bid you good morning as they stroll to the bank, then not all Europeans wear stripe pullovers, berets and try to sell onions whilst whistling a happy tune and riding a bicycle around the Alps; There are some real nasty motherf*^%ers out there! And I,ll tell of each in good time. So, where were we? Oh yes, on the road to Tours and things were going just swimmingly, that is until I noticed the signs for "Route deviation". Shite.... Where the hell does this go? I turned off on the exit slip along with those few drivers that were around and instead of following suit, I pulled over to the shoulder and got my map out. This route takes me miles in the wrong direction.... How far before I can get back on track? Sod this! I,ll cut through this village along the road here and get back towards Tours easily. And if it was that easy, then all the local drivers with their knowledge of the area would have done likewise, and the construction company would have diverted us that way too? Oh, they,re just Froggies I thought. You go your way, I ,ll go mine. And I stormed off in the direction I wanted to take, knowing I would be back on track very quickly indeed. After all, there were no signs to say I could not proceed along the track I,d chosen. Track being the operative word too, as it got narrower and narrower, and now I was 100 committed to staying with it. I reached the turn for the village I needed to pass through and OHHHH Deary deary me... A sign for "Transit Interdit"...In other words, no goods vehicles. Bugger, I have no choice, proceed as instructed ensign, aye aye skipper.. twelve points to starboard and full steam ahead.... This aint so bad, this village road is wider than the bloody goat track I just came off, nothing doing here, I,m home and hosed.... BANG!!! What the f.....? Unfortunately for me and the villagers, I had failed to notice that a street light cable running from one to another was not quite so high as my trailer..I had just cut power to these poor buggers and plunged them into darkness. Run Wot, Run... Head for them thar hills.... T.B.C
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Nemo Me Impune Lacessit
#140
12-19-2006, 07:20 AM
Originally Posted by wot i life
I had just cut power to these poor buggers and plunged them into darkness.
Run Wot, Run... Head for them thar hills.... man, love dis story! :lol: |
