Amusing factual stories - real life experiences in trucking

(As a public service and due to many requests, I have stickied this post. The original poster was Harpo, a login ID from the old board. I had to change the user name to Guest to make it a sticky, though. -- TF)

:aktion057:

Do you have a humorous, strange or witty true experience
related to trucking, or the trucking industry?? Share it with
us....we can always use a smile or good laugh.....

I'll throw in the first one.....A few years back ....won't say
exactly how many, I was sitting in Oak Grove, Mo...
contemplating the best way around the infamous "Odessa"
scales, since I was slightly over gross....about 2800 lbs (more
or less)....I got to talking to an older hand....and was asking
him the best way around "Odessa"...."Well," he said, "If you'll
pay for this coffee" and follow me right to the scale, I will
guarantee you safe passage across the scale.." I asked him
what he'd been 'smoking'.....because I didn't see how he
could possibly guarantee I'd get across "Odessa" without any
problems, being 2800 lbs over gross....

Well, being the 'game' ole nut that I am - I said, "you got a
deal".....(note: this was back in the days when you could
take a driver at his word).....I paid for his coffee - followed
him out to the parking lot....he told me to watch for him...he
would be driving a 'belly-dump' - white Corn-binder..... In
about five minutes, he pulled in front and motioned 'lets go' -
I fell in behind him and followed him right to the scales, and
wondering all the time - am I really stupid, or what? Anyway,
he pulled on the "Odessa" scales and proceeded to 'kill' the
engine....I found out later he had a 'kill' switch on the dash
and as long as it was flipped, the engine wouldn't start. Well,
after about 5 minutes, the scale master came out, talked with
him, went back inside....another 5 minutes, scale-master came
back out and started motioning the rest of us to 'go around'
the 'belly-dump' stalled on the scale......So there I went -
right through "Odessa", 2800 lbs over gross...and they never
knew it....


Went down to Concordia, waited for my new-found driver
friend, and about 15 minutes later he pulled in...we went in
and I treated him to lunch....during the course of which I
was told about the 'kill switch', and how they can't do any-
thing except 'chew' him out for stalling on a scale....He told
me it came in handy over the years....for friends of his running
together.....A cup of coffee and lunch well spent......
:alien:



Edited By Harpo on July 27 2002 at 3:08

[Groucho]

It couldn't have been that long ago

Now it's my turn. Yes this is an excerpt from the book!

I once had a co-driver named Ed and we were forced together by the boss to take a load to California. We used a cabover Freightliner. We hadn't gotten through Pennsylvania when Ed decided to try my patience. He was driving for about 2 hours, when he decided to park at some rest area and nose the truck near a drop off. He jacked the cab up and yelled "We're going over!!!!" I woke with a start and rolled out of the sleeper into the windshield! Needless to say I was not happy.

I didn't say anything to him about it, but was he in for a big surprise. Somewhere west of Oklahoma City it was raining a ton so I pulled off on to the shoulder, got out and tossed a smoke bomb into the cab and yelled "Oh sh1t the cab is on fire!" Ed jumped out of the sleeper and dove out the passenger door and right into a huge mud puddle.
A highway patrolman had stopped and asked what had happened and I said my co-driver had Swine flu and one of the symptoms is a craving for mud puddles!

After that we got along fine!!

:aktion064.gif:



Edited By Groucho on July 27 2002 at 4:35

[Groucho]

Not too sure about skunk p*ss, but I know something that comes close.

Sit back and let me tell you about the most awful smelling load a tanker yanker can pull.

Dateline 1995, picked up a load of Ethyl Acyrlate from GATX in Carteret NJ. This sh*t smells awful, you can be driving down the highway at warp 2 and with a strong headwind and still smell it inside the cab with the windows rolled up! This chemical is used for tear gas and certain types of glue.

Fast forward: Somewhere in Virginia I was getting sleepy so I pulled into a rest area, only to find it full with trucks and motorhomes well I finally wiggled into a spot between two motorhomes and drifted off to sleep.
About three or four hours later there was a banging on the door. I came out of the sleeper and saw a highway patrol person with a gas mask on. I rolled down the window and asked what was wrong. All he said was "Get this f**kin truck out of here!!"
While he was venting, I looked around the rest area I noticed it was empty. I turned back to the officer and said "Wow, I cleared the whole place out, cool!!!!!"
He was not amused! I left forth with!

A skunk smells better than this crap.
Everytime I had a load and I stopped at a truck stop I had to park way out in the back 40. If I didn't like the service at the stop, before I left I'd make sure to stop at the restaurant entrance and rock the wagon a little.

I kept a small jar of this chemical and if someone pissed me off, I'd take a small dose and drop it on the car seat.
It worked great on a hot day!

Next episode: Xylene and the fun things it can be used for!!

[Big Momma CAD]

Saw on the news last night,

A truck was hauling pizza dough and the heat caused the dough to start rising. It was coming out of the back of the truck while he was driving down the road. I would have hated to have been following him too close

[bluebeetle]

Had a driver have an accident which messed up the cab pretty good, luckily he wasn't hurt and unbeknown to anybody put a hole in the top of the trailer. They pulled the trailer which still had the load on it to the yard and let it sit until the next day when the shag driver showed up ot pick up the trailer. When he arrived the trailer was on the ground and had collapsed around the wheels.

It seems that it had started to rain the afternoon before and continue to rain through the night and into the next morning. Total rain fall was around 5 inches. This was a several years ago. The rain had gotten into the load and the weight had caused the trailer to collapse.

Oh by the way, the load that was on the trailer.......

I am gonna get shot for this....front deflector shields on full power.....

Seems the driver had a load of tampons on board....

:aktion069.gif:

[Groucho]

Extra absorbent??

Not bad....Let's see
Back in the last century, my brother and I ran as a team for a chemical tank line. We were on a secret mission going to Tampico, Mexico to pick up a load of DiMethylTerphthalate, or DMT for short.
On a sunny Thursday I pulled into the Port of Entry in Louisiana and was in my usual evil mood so I bounced the wagon across the scale and proceeded back on to the highway!
15 minutes or so later I kept hearing someone calling me on the CB "*******(name withheld) what you got in the tank?"
A brief description is in order, the DMT wagons are specially built to haul the chemical has two vent pipes running up the back of the wagon, has one dome towards the rear and is triple insulated.
Well, I kept telling the mystery voice it was none of his d*mn business. This went on for quite a few miles. Finally I got really agitated with the guy and I told him it was a load of beer. It seemed to quiet the guy down until I hit a real large bump in the interstate. The voice comes back on the radio and says what kind of beer. I said calmly, light beer.
That was the final straw. A whole lot of expletives exploded from the speaker and in the final sentance "Pull over when it's safe and have your logbook and paperwork ready!!!!!!!"
I then looked in the mirror and saw one of the scale cops behind me. I turned to my brother and said "I guess I upset his day!"
The officer gave me a semi-severe talking to and he did climb up on the wagon to see what was really in it!

I didn't get a ticket and as the officer was leaving he went to say something else to me and I asked if he was disappointed that there was no beer in the wagon! He stared at me for the longest time, then he smiled and said "get the h3ll out of here!"

Here's a short ditty. If anyone is running team pulling tank wagons and the partner won't wake up at their designated time to drive, pull into a safe area and make sure you tap the brakes enough to get the load moving when the load hits the front of the tank the partner will be out of the sleeper and ready to........

[countrysidecowboy2002]

omg!!i was getting teary eyed from laughing my ass off readin all this here!!somebody hasta to get a book together for such stories like what ive read here!!

[Groucho]

A book is already in the works...

This dates way back into the last century!!!

On a stormy summer night I was waiting on a load at the Chemical Leaman terminal in Matawan NJ(Aka Nappi Trucking)

I was just drifting off to sleep when I heard what sounded like a war chant. I came out of the sleeper and saw one of the guys from the tank wash dancing on top of a tank wagon. I rolled down the window and heard him chant "I hope lightening comes down and hit *******(name long forgotten) in the ass. No sooner than he finished the sentance a bolt of lightening hit the back of the wagon blowing out all the tyres. The guy jumped off the tank and I would swear he hit the ground at least 30 feet away.

The other tank wash employees and I got into the company pickup and we chased after him. We finally caught up to him in the town, which was about 5 miles from the terminal!
His only comment was "I'll never do another war dance again!!"

[68-1010632524]

I think it's about time this thread was resurrected..

Now that my other brother Zeppo has some miles under his ass, I just bet he has a tale or two to tell!!!

This also applies to all the members and visitors to this forum, come on there has to be more than two drivers amongst the membership who has a funny or factual or science fiction tale to tell....It should deal with life on the highway or close to it



Edited By Doctor Who on Oct. 14 2002 at 6:59

[68-1010632524]

Well, I guess I'll be the one to start this.

This is not so funny, but it is true.

This dates back to 1977, my boss had purchased a 77 Kenworth W-900 and it was given to me, it was my first large car. The tractor was painted exactly like the KW in the first "Smokey and the Bandit" film. Needless to say it was the talk of the highway, especially around Georgia!

About 5 months later I was running he11 bent for election west bound on I 20. The speedometer was showing the truck was doing about 75 or so, when the right steer tyre let go. I fought to keep the truck under control, but started to panic when I saw I was heading for a bridge abutment. I thought for sure I had bought it, I kept imagining the headlines in the newspaper with a photgraph of this KW smashed like an aluminum can against the bridge.

I did get the truck stopped about 5 feet from the overpass. I sat in the seat shaking. Then a voice made me jump, a Georgia highway patrol officer was standing by the drivers side. He asked me if I was OK. I told him I was. He then told me he was planning on pulling me over and giving me a ticket for speeding, but when the tyre blew, he didn't have the heart to. He stayed with me until the wrecker got there. Before the patrol officer left, he turned to me and asked "You going to slow down now?" I told him YES!!

That is one experience I don't want to ever go through again!

[68-1010632524]

Another tanker story from the "Chemical Brothers" archives.
No this isn't[bost_uid4]PUBLIC DOMAIN[/bost_uid4]

A nice warm July morning in Baltimore, and the promise to go home. Well, not quite, all such hopes were dashed when the travel agent came running out of his cave acting like a wildman and yelling at my dear brother and I to hook up to a tank and come back and see him. With all the hooking and pretripping completed, I wandered back into the dispatch office, where the travel agent threw a packet with blank paperwork at me and told me to take my brother and the truck and head out to interstate 95 north. I tried to ask him what was the big deal, but got a response that I can't repeat here! I love secret missions!

Well, we got out on 95 and headed north. We drove for about 15 minutes when traffic came to a stop, nothing new for Baltimore. We sat for about 5 minutes, when a voice came over the CB "*******, are you empty??" I answered him and I looked in the mirror and saw a Maryland Highway patrolperson behind us. "Good, I'm giving you an escort!"
I looked at my brother and all he asked was "What did you do now??" I shrugged my shoulders "I swear I didn't do a thing, I was just conveniently located at the scene of the crime!!"

The officer gave us an escort around the backup and led us to the cause of all the trouble, another ******* tank wagon had split open and was leaking. I didn't pay much attention to the broken tank, I was more interested in the placard. The skull and cross bones definetly stood out! My brother and I looked at each other and at the same time said "Phosphoric Acid!"

We had to unload that tank into ours, everything was going fine. That was until I got a cold refreshing Coke out of the cooler and stood by the tractor drinking it. A Haz-Mat cop saw me and absolutley went crazy. This young lady started yelling and screaming at me. Everyone within twenty feet of the site heard her! I asked what her problem was. She just kept yelling at me "Don't you know that is dangerous!!!!"
I told her it wasn't, but she just went right on yelling. Finally her supervisor came over to bring some peace to this somewhat one sided confrontation. He asked me why I was drinking the Coke and I told him I was thirsty. He then asked me wasn't I aware of the chemical and I told him I was.
This went on for five minutes, when I showed the supervisor the Coke bottle and asked him to read the ingredients and would he please read them out loud. He did, until he got down
towards the bottom of the label "Phosphoric Acid!" I took the bottle back and said "Yes, people drink the sh*t!!" "Now, would kindly get your subordinate out of my way so we can finish?!?!?!?"

My brother and I ended up making the delivery and didn't get home for another three weeks!
Such the life of a professional driver

[68-1010632524]

Yet another tale from the [bost_uid0]Chemical Brothers[/bost_uid0] archives!

My brother paid a visit yesterday and he told me that he was writing his memoirs. His son has something to do with this. So in honour of the memoir, I post this..Yes, it's in the book!

After 2 years of running team, the company decided to split my brother and I up. The logic to this was why have two good drivers in the same truck, when they each can have a truck, can't argue with warped logic.
I had to give up the Freightliner and was given a new Volvo, what a let down!
The first dispatch out as seperate drivers we loaded at the same chemical plant with the exact same load going to Newark, NJ. I went to Sherwin Williams and he went to Benjamin Moore, which were next to each other. We really didn't think much of it at the time. When the trucks were empty we headed to the terminal in Carteret,NJ laid over that night and received our dispatches in the AM. Again, we loaded at the same Chemical plant, had the same type of chemical going to the same place in Illinois! I asked my brother if he noticed something odd, all he could say was "Don't try to figure them out!" Good logic!
After we had loaded we hauled ass across I-80 conversing on our ham radios. When we got to the plant in Illinois, the guard at the gate was not amuzed when we signed in. This gentleman thought we were messing with his head. After a long conversation with the NJ dispatcher he let us in the gate.
Unloading completed, we drove to Joliet and checked in with dispatch. We couldn't get a load out that evening, so we headed to the motel.
Next morning the dispatcher called the motel, talked to my brother and after a long breakfast we went back to the terminal. Barbara, the very lovely dispatcher, gave us our loads, you guessed, it same customer same load going to the same place Baton Rouge,La. My brother and I looked at each other and I asked Barbara what was going on and she said that since we came in together we might as well leave together. I looked at my brother and said "We're a TEAM in seperate trucks!" Remember what I said about logic!

We chased each other to Baton Rouge and that is where we split up. I went to Gulf,La and loaded some nasty looking blue chemical and took off for NC. I didn't find out where my brother was going.
After unloading I drove back to the Wilmington,NC terminal, which was my domicile. I was talking to a couple of friends on my ham radio, when I heard a voice say "You just never know who's listenin'!" My brother got a load back to Wilmington, so we had come full circle.

It didn't take long before the entire company knew about the [bost_uid0]CHEMICAL BROTHERS[/bost_uid0] the team in seperate trucks!

This is for you brother

[Silver Bullet]

Dr. Who, I gotta tell ya, I really enjoy reading your stories. I can't wait til the book comes out.

[68-1010632524]

Thank you Silver Bullet, Now I know at least one person is reading them...If I keep posting the stories I may not have a book to publish :0

Thanx again

[68-1010632524]

These two date back before the [bost_uid0]CHEMICAL BROTHERS[/bost_uid0]

The first: Going to Brooklyn just to get a hotdog!
My dear brother called me on a Sunday afternoon in a state of panic. He had to go to Brooklyn to make a delivery, he had never been to the "big" city in a truck! He told me that dad couldn't go. I agreed to go with him since I really didn't have much planned for Monday.
Monday morning and I'm standing on Woodbridge Ave with a cup of coffee in my hand waiting for the brother to arrive. I had waited about a hour when I saw his truck, a long nose Peterbilt and 48 ft trailer. I thought about it for minute or so and just shook my head. The name on the truck also got my curiousity up. "Glass Container Transport?" " Are you hauling glass?"
He said no and that he had auto parts in the trailer and the load was going to A warehouse off of Metropolitan Ave in Brooklyn. I didn't say a word!
The ride in was rather uneventful, that was until we got to the warehouse. One way street the wrong way, got to blind side it. Brother had never done it, I told him to go up the street turn around and come back down the wrong way.
Three hours later he was unloaded and we were on our way. He asked me to drive out. As we were rolling down the Avenue he made a comment about how much he wanted to try a New York hotdog. Well, I locked the brakes up and steered the truck towards the curb stopping in front of a hotdog vendor. The vendor just shook his head and my brother just stared at me. I told him I wanted mine with mustard and kraut and a Coke!

The second story: First trip to California!
Another phone call, but not on Sunday. My brother was going to Tracy California with a load of Indulin, a brown nasty looking goo! He asked if he should go across I-80. I told him he was crazy if he was coming from Wilmington NC. I told him to go straight across I-40 and when he got to Barstow turn right and head up California highway 58 and that will take him to California 99 and then to I-205 then go into Tracy.
About 5 days later I get a call from him and he was quite upset. I asked him what the matter was. All he said was "YOU FORGOT TO MENTION TEHACHAPI!!!"
I looked at my wife and said "oops!" To say he was a bit upset would be an understatement. I told him that I did mention that little detail.
He swears to this day I never told him!

Well, a couple of years later The Chemical Brothers ended up going to Tracy via the same route, guess who ended up driving Tehachapi??



Edited By Doctor Who on Nov. 21 2002 at 10:09

[Doctor Who]

[color=#8D38C9ost_uid12]I got a call from the "older" half of the Chemical Brothers and I hate to say this, but his health has deteriorated. He has had a bad heart for sometime, but was not discovered until 2 years ago. He was having trouble staying awake while his driving I had noticed it when we were running team and on one occasion he almost ran us off a bridge. There were other signs, but I couldn't figure the problem out. This is one of the other reasons we split as a team. I left the company and he stayed on until he was dragged to a heart specialist and the heart condition was discovered. From what I understand the heart has three major vessels running over the top of it, his only has a half of one and the other two are almost non-existent! What a shock, I feel bad because I can't do a bloody thing to help him!

He's to the point now he can only sit at the computer for 30 minutes before he gets worn out, he pushes himself to drive to NC to see his children and stop by here and the trip takes its toll on him!
He is going to Charleston in January to see if he is a candidate for a heart transplant and then get put on the list.

Sorry this isn't an amusing story, but I figured it would be a good place to pay a tribute to the older brother[/colorost_uid12]

[Big Momma CAD]

[color=#810541ost_uid0]Sorry to hear that about your brother. Our thoughts and prayers go out to him. Maybe he will be put on the list and won't have to wait very long.
Are you going to be with over the holidays? Sounds like you are close!!! We should all value every second we have with our love ones. We take so much for granted.
Does he ever visit us here?[/colorost_uid0]

[Doctor Who]

[color=#8D38C9ost_uid0]Thank you for the kind words

Yes we have become real close in the past 30 years or so.

It's a long story, but I didn't know I had an older brother until I was about 6 or so....

As far as the Christmas holiday, the family and I are heading to NJ. The XYL is doing all the driving since I'm not supposed according to the medical professional(?)

I'm not sure if he checks this site, I've told him he should.
Who knows he may have to, just to defend himself against the Chemical Brothers stories!!! :madnoel:[/colorost_uid0]

[Doctor Who]

[color=#8D38C9ost_uid0]Time for another story......

The wife and I were watching some awful talk show this afternoon dealing with Cheating and all the other "Jerry Springer" type garbage. I made a rude comment about how drinking 10 shots of Jack Daniels and 4 shots of Tequila and any woman would look good!
The wife looked at me a said "Is that what you thought about me?!?!"
I told her no, I had fallen in love with her the first day I saw her.....Story now begins

This dates back to 1980, I had a regular run back and forth to a paper plant in Spotswood NJ. Every day at 1500 I would be at a certain intersection and I would see this real cute woman with curly hair driving a red Camaro. This went on for a week or so and I told my friend about it. He suggested I step out of the truck and talk to her. I told him that she would probably run me over or shoot me. It was beginning to look like Richard Dreyfuss and Suzanne Summers in American Graffiti!

This little comedy scene went on for about three weeks, with no end in site until, one day I had to pick my mom up from work. I wheeled my blue Camaro into the parking lot and who should pull in along side of me, but the cute woman in the red Camaro. I was shocked I couldn't say anything to her, my mom broke the silence by saying hi to the young lady and introducing her to me. On the ride home I told mom about the little scene and she said I should ask her out, but she knew I was too shy to do it!!! The parking lot meetings went on for a week or so and just before Valentines day the Camaro lady asked me when I was going to ask her out! Well, I did and 21 years later I'm still looking for another 1979 red Camaro. Would make a great anniversary gift.

She keeps saying she never noticed the bright red White 9000 with the driver hanging out the window!!

I know better though ::

I knew I left something out. The run lasted about a month and a half until one of the senior drivers got upset that I was yanking down the "big" bucks! I thought I would never see the Camaro girl again. Well, being taken off the run was a blessing in disguise, in a way, it freed me up to help dad when he couldn't pick mom up from work!
Yes I did thank the "senior" driver for his help with my quest! He didn't have a clue, which was fine! There was a little justice after all, the run he took from me came to an end two weeks after he got it!!!!

Now you know the rest of the story!!!

Now for a news update. I read on another site that a driver from NC won 2500 for a manuscript about driving and the deplorable state trucking is in. I would like to know when this contest was?!?!?! I can't wait for the next one cause if this driver thinks the industry is deplorable, maybe I can spread a little BS to make it a little brighter..

Till the next time America[/colorost_uid0]



Edited By Doctor Who on 1041927987

[Doctor Who]

[color=#8D38C9ost_uid4]Kamikaze birds and other assorted flying objects........


Way back in the dark ages of my trucking career I was driving a "R" Model Mack, yes it had 2 sticks in it, anyway I was pulling a flatbed up US 206 in northern NJ just about daybreak one fall morning when I saw a dark object heading towards me, for the life of me I couldn't figure out what it was until it hit the passengers side windshield and completely shattering it. Amongst the shower of glass and other odd objects and the shock of being hit I managed to pull the truck over. After the "storm" subsided I noticed an Owl sitting in the passenger seat. It was the biggest Owl I had ever seen. "Not so smart were you???" I asked my quite dead friend.

I called for help on the CB, when CB was a good thing to have.
The nice lady who answered my call thought I was kidding her and it took about 10 minutes to convince her I was serious. She did call the police plus, she had to come out and see for herself.
When the officers arrived they weren't sure what to think, but there it was, a big old Barn Owl sitting in the seat just as if I had placed it there. The lady came up to the truck and was really surprised, she also brought me coffee, which was nice of her. One of the investigating officers asked what I was going to do with the Owl. I told him I'm keeping it as evidence so the boss don't try to charge me with an accident!

About 2 hours later the windshield repair person wasa finished and after numerous phone calls to the boss and the receiver I was on my way. I took the Owl and strapped its feet to the CB and propped it up so it could look out the windshield.
I made it to the recievers yard and pulled up to the guardshack, the female guard came out and started laughing. I asked her what was so funny and she pointed to my buddy. I told her it was a new type of radar detector, when it spotted a police officer with radar the tail feathers would go up and it would drop a present on the radio. Don't know if she believed me or not.
The Owl rode with me the entire day and when I got back to the yard I showed the evidence to the boss. He asked if I was going to keep it and I told him no, but I did know a police officer in town who collected stuffed Owls, so I called him and he came and got it.
Yes he still has that mean old bird today!

Two side notes: The incident did make the paper in the little town where the incident happened and the lady turned out to be the mother of a Amateur radio operator in Raliegh who had heard me telling someone about this a few years back!!!

Got to run, next on the agenda "Lightning and the Volvo"[/colorost_uid4]