[Uturn2001]

There is no two ways about it. The demands of being an OTR or regional truck driver can be hard on family relationships, but at the same time it does not have to be death sentence for your marriage or mean that you can not be a part of your children's lives.

The first thing that you and your family need to accept is that the driver can not be home for every ball game, dance recital, for every bump, bruise, and illness or injury that comes along. You will have to decide what events are the most important for you to be there for and work with your company on being there for them.

The next thing that you and your spouse need to come to terms with is that the person who stays at home is in charge of the home. You have to trust your spouse to take care of most everything and you have to accept that they may not do things the way you would if you were there, but as long as it gets done does it really matter how it got done? Also the person who stays at home needs to develop the skills and confidence to tackle the jobs that you would normally do.

Probably the biggest key to making all of this work is communication. You and your spouse need to learn how to really talk and listen to each other and you need to talk often. Every day if at all possible, even if it is just for 5 minutes to see how each other and the kids are doing and to say "I love you." Cell phones work well for this, and if you go with a family share plan you can call each other "free of charge" and talk as long as you want or need to. Also do not forget to spend a few minutes talking with your kids whenever you have or can make the time. Hearing your voice and you taking an active interest in what is going on in their lives goes a long way.

When you do manage to come home work on making what time you have there high quality with both your spouse and your children. This does not mean you have to do things "special" or expensive, it just means to spending time with them and being an active and willing participant in what is going on. This alone will make those time special.

When you are on the road let your family know where you are and where you are going. Get a map of the USA and Canada (if you go there) so they can see where you are going. Send postcards from some of the areas you are going to. Everyone loves to get mail, especially children. The idea here is to share with them what you are doing.

Communication, trust and sharing are important to any relationship, but to anyone who is unable to be there every day it becomes critical. Work on these always and it is possible that you may find your marriage stronger than ever. Fail to understand and appreciate their importance and you are going to be in for a rough ride.

Finally, before entering the field as an OTR/regional driver make sure that you have the support of your family. If they can not or do not support this then there is little hope that your career or your marriage will last long.

[inmate1577]

My wife understands, my daughter doesnt.
Phone calls home dont even come close in the slightest to actually being there. All the small things that you miss as your children grow up isnt worth one red dime made in trucking.

[kcfalcon]

Good post uturn.
I have a phone plan that includes unlimited time on the family plan.
My wife say's we talk more now then when I was home full time.
It's not uncommon for me to talk to her and the kids for hours at a time, let's face it we have plenty of time for that.
The kid's love what I do, but I take them with me when they are out of school, you would be suprised what your kids will talk to you about when you have them alone in the truck!
Do I miss things, Yes and sometimes it bug's me alot.
But I can say that I feel, and so does my family, that we really feel closer then when I was home.
What work's for us is keeping them involved in what I'am doing, and them keeping me updated on what they are up to.
My son likes the fact that he can call me anytime and just talk.
Like uturn said if your family is behind you, that take's care of 90% of all problem's.
Doing something special with your kids does not have to cost alot, I pick up post cards for my daughter, she loves looking up where they are and is wallpapering her room with them.

[tjv189]

You guys are both dead on exactly right. Now me, I don't have a wife or kids, but 90 percent of my family lives near me in western PA, so I grew up a family man. And ever since I starting trucking, I have never felt so left out of the family, constantly wishing I was home with them having fun and just spending time together. And trucking just isn't worth giving that up for. Sure, after about 6 years you might make some decent amount of money, but most of that money you will be required to spend on food and other expenses just to get by while you are trucking. So whatever family ties you have, if any, in my opinion they just aren't worth giving up for trucking.

[Ridge Runner]

I made this a sticky. I think this would answer a lot of questions for a lot of folks out there. Very well worded and very informative. GREAT job Uturn!!!

[Jimbpard]

To shorten it all up, why dont we end this post, by saying to all newbies just comming across this board; DONT BE A TRUCK DRIVER. YOU WONT MAKE MONEY, YOU WONT SEE YOUR KIDS, THE MAILMAN WILL BE "DAD", AND YOUR DOG WILL GREET HIM AT THE DOOR INSTEAD OF CHASE HIM. THIS IS A HORRIBLE LIFE. LIKE BEING LOCKED IN ONE OF SADDAMS TORTURE CAGES!!!!! DONT WALK AWAY FROM THIS CAREER CHOICE, RUN!!!!

Hell of a new sticky for all the newbs to see at the top of the page.
"But it's the truth".
Sure it is. BS.
I lived it.
But everyones an expert, so excuse my lack of knowledge..

[Ridge Runner]

Originally Posted by Jimbpard

To shorten it all up, why dont we end this post, by saying to all newbies just comming across this board; DONT BE A TRUCK DRIVER. YOU WONT MAKE MONEY, YOU WONT SEE YOUR KIDS, THE MAILMAN WILL BE "DAD", AND YOUR DOG WILL GREET HIM AT THE DOOR INSTEAD OF CHASE HIM. THIS IS A HORRIBLE LIFE. LIKE BEING LOCKED IN ONE OF SADDAMS TORTURE CAGES!!!!! DONT WALK AWAY FROM THIS CAREER CHOICE, RUN!!!!

Hell of a new sticky for all the newbs to see at the top of the page.
"But it's the truth".
Sure it is. BS.
I lived it.
But everyones an expert, so excuse my lack of knowledge..

First: I must have failed to get the memo from CAD where you were put in charge of deciding when a post should end. I'll have to bring this oversite up at our next staff meeting. :wink:

Second: Why are you yelling?

Third: Yep! I thought it was a "hell of a good sticky" because I have seen a lot of new people come here and ask these same questions. Maybe if this sticky had been here and you had a chance to read it BEFORE
you made the choice to try OTR then you would have thought things thru better for your situtation.

Fourth As far as I know, no one questioned the fact that you drove OTR, and not everyone here is an expert, but, I promise you, you are NOT the only one here to turn a few miles behind the wheel. If you want to list some of the down-sides please feel free to post them. To attack the post and posters is not the way to get your point across.

Ridge

[Jimbpard]

In no way was I trying to attack anyone personally. Thats not my style. There's others on this board that do a much better job of it than I could. Just kinda gets old to see all the negetivity and downers on here giving reasons why otr and trucking in general is so bad. I'm not saying that what people are lying when talking about long periods away from home, lots of sitting with no money being made, but I think that MOST people are already aware of this before they even come to this website. Afterall, why ARE those sleepers on trucks? That being said, I think it more than likely pushes people away more when thats all they see in every post reply to a newbie.
Let me make clear this also. I have never drove OTR. I've had local jobs since getting my cdl, but my dad has driven for 25+ years and when I said that "I've lived it", I meant that I lived as a child whos father was otr....And really, it wasnt THAT bad.

Just my 2cents.
Again, nothing personal.

[Ridge Runner]

Jimbpard,

Sorry I didn't see your "witt" here. ops: I thought you were posting your true feelings about trucking ( OTR ). I guess your right about how some will/could just copy and paste your post. It seems like that is all they have to offer. I guess I liked Uturn's post because it gives the reader the foundation that they MUST have before even thinking about going OTR. Once again, sorry I took your post the wrong way. BUT , because your Dad was a driver when you were growing-up, could you expand a little on what it was like for a kid to grow up with a father driving OTR? I'll even go ask my kids their thoughts about when I was OTR and post them here.

[wackyncrazy]

I'm a mother of 2 and married to a wonderful man who I have been with for 13 years. I'm an OTR driver and I have found that things are better now then the last 3 years I was a stay at home mom. It was hard on the kids at first with mom being gone 2 weeks at a time but they have adjusted well with it. It took my husban sometime to get use to all the cleaning and kid stuff. It is a plus that his mom and all our family is so helpful with everything. I call home several times a day. I send post cards to the kids and they love it. And when I'm home we send quality time togather with is the best. I don't plan staying OTR for ever. I would like to go local when I have the chance cause when the kids get a little older and start doing all those thing we all did as teens I want to be there to help guide them. thats just my 2 cents.