Hi Everyone:
new to this board and am glad I found it. Like so many on here, I miss my husband more than words can say. Having said that, I could use a little advice.

I was divorce for 12 1/2 years so I know what being by myself is like. Believe me when I say I have every tool (ones that go in the garage) known to man kind and can use most of them myself lol. So I am use to "takin" care of things.

I just got married exactly two months ago to this very day to a wonderful man. I figured I could handle the time alone because I had been doing it already for so long. Well, I didn't take into consideration that now I love someone and am alone. SUCKS.

He brought someone "things" into the marriage, as in really bad credit, that now is in my hands to fix. I don't mind taken care of things and seeing what I can do to fix it but how do I get him to be more thankful. He has been married 7 times and I sure don't want to be the 8th. When he does come home he just relaxes and sits on the couch the first day and then the next evening we will do something fun.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is why isn't he more thankful for what I do, how I act (no screamin memee's). He is even going through health problems and if I don't do the leg work while he is out on the road then it won't get done, this applies to everything in the house also.
Blah blah blah....I guess that was my let it out time blurb, sorry.....I am lonely and feel a little bit used.

T

 

You need to sit down with him and explain how you feel and what you need from him. Often, it is the wives who take care of the home, paying bills, raising the children, etc., while the husband is out on the road. One reason many otr drivers have poor credit is being out of town for extended periods of time and not getting bills. This is not much of an excuse these days, since most can check and pay bills online. You also need to put him on a budget. It will be necessary to have his cooperation. Some people are also not very responsible. Being previously married 7 times shows a certain lack of responsibility and perhaps impulsiveness. It may or may not have had anything to do with money. The most important thing in any relationship is communication. If he drove a truck when you got married, you should have had some idea of what you were getting into. You could encourage him to find a local driving position. In any relationship there should be one who has the responsibility for paying the bills. It sounds like that has fallen on your shoulders. Good luck.

 

Had to go get my new hubby in Des Moines, IA on Friday. Round trip 12 hours. Event monitor reading was bad so the dr said NO more driving for fear of passing out. He's getting ready to go in for surgery (pace maker) in just a little bit. 6 weeks off for recovery and then he has to have abdominal surgery for a completly blocked aorta. Guess I will have plenty of time to have a talk with him about lots of things.

 

Damn just when you'r going to have that talk about him doing more around the house!
Hope all turns out well for both of you.

 

Oh he'll get the talk even with the pace maker! Will be more nice when he has the abdominal surgery
Getting ready to go pick him up from the hospital in a few. He asked me to buy him a truck so he could drive it around...said he's never been off the road for this long in his life. Told him Christmas was coming and he might get one of those cute little jeeps

 

I honestly can't say I don't blame him when he gets home and not doing anything that night... I know if I had to drive a long ways i'm exhausted by the end of the day. Everyone does things different but I share his pain. Normally, the most I do is head to the store and get the essentials for what I need.. then veg on the couch at home resting in my own environment. Then, I too, take the next day to go out with friends or spend time with the girlfriend and get errands done. In my opinion, the best thing to do on this area is to understand that he does need that unwind time and maybe cuddling and watching a movie on that return night home with a home cooked meal is a safe bet.. then go out the next night and do something, as you said is the norm. Again, this is just my opinion.

 

hey mate you really blow me away with your story .elizabeth taylor married 7 times but she had the money and obviously wanted good times ,kick him out ,cheers

 

I am glad you are blown away by my situtation "mate"...I didn't ask for advice on how many times he's been married now did I? I'll take my chances in that arena.