[suecolvin]

Hi - I'm new to this forum. My husband has been an OTR driver for several years now. I got spoiled though because he used to be home every weekend but has just recently switched companies & is gone for 3 weeks or more before coming home. I'm really struggling lately & have become very envious of my co-workers & their relationships with their husbands who are home every night. They are constantly talking about going to basketball & football games with them or taking a stroll in the evening with them, going to to dinner ect...... I had to give up my husband being home for T.Giving just so he can go to the company Christmas party with me! We also have only recently moved into a brand new house & into a new area so I haven't made to many friends yet. I'm hoping I can get some much need support & friendly advice by posting here. Appreciate any input. Thanks!

[LilBit]

Hello Suzy Q

Mine has been driving for quite a few years now....we moved from Iowa to Alabama in 2005, quite an adjustment...I'm currently staying home caring for our four children here, we've dealt with him out for long periods of time and more recently mine's been getting home more than we're used to over here...kinda just the opposite you're going through with your's being out, we're trying to readjust to mine being home so much..........All of my family is in IL/IA, my husband has some relatives here but it's still not the same as having the ones around that I was close to before we moved here.

When I've went through the 'missing him' phases I've had to find something else besides the downsides to focus on.....silly stuff really I suposse, whatever works to keep us going...I get the bed to myself, no blanket thief in there..I get to control what I watch and when I watch it on the TV....I get the final say in what's for dinner and when and how I'll get it served up too.......I find other things to keep my mind off it if it really does start to getting to me, online groups, the kids and I like to paint and do some simple things together, we write stories together and give them to him when he gets back home, I keep a journal sometimes helps pass the time and lets me vent without really tearing anyone's ear off.......I don't have to hunt and search for where he left his socks when he took them off when he's not home, you get the idea, whatever it is, silly as it may sound if it keeps you going go with it

I remember full well how the kids and I went through that 'missing him' stage years back when mine went from a local driving job to back OTR, the ones that don't live this lifestyle I've found generally have a hard time relating to it. I do better going through the rougher times when I'm able to contact someone else in the been there/done that department.

[suecolvin]

Thanks for the tips. The weekends are definitely the hardest for me & my daughter. During the week I have a full time job & busy in the evenings with my daughter's activities & her homework so it goes faster. This weekend for instance he had the whole weekend off - but happened to be in Austin, TX where old family friends of his live so he spent time with them. Of course, I'm really jealous & depressed because a whole weekend where he could have been with us except for the fact that he wasn't in our area! Seems like when he does make it home its during the week when we can't really spend quality time. I really need to get out of this rut I'm in...

[LilBit]

I'm sorry he wasn't able to make it in for a good visit this weekend at home. Seems sometimes these loads are just always going in the wrong directions, it's not always that way though.....it has taught us to appreciate a whole lot more the time we are able to spend together when that time gets around again.

Are there any weekend activities you and your girl can participate in over there? Maybe just making it a 'girls night' at home playing games and watching movies? I did that with my kids for awhile, we had Friday night game and movie night, found keeping things like that going on that we could look forward to around here helped us through better.

Something else that I've found is an excellent online support group for married and significant others of drivers Really helps me when I need that bit of a boost once in awhile too This lifestyle with our drivers isn't really comparable to too many others out there and if there aren't ones close by that deal with the lifestyle I've found it can be difficult for them to relate for things and easier for me to get 'down' on things thinking the way things are with the other's lifestyle is the way it outta be when that's not the case at all....would really be rather boring if we all followed the same paths....though the path some of us are on can be challenging at times to say the least, it can also be a good thing once we let it become one for us....there's alot that some of us that are with our drivers may not have attempted if we weren't in the situations we're in at times, something to make us stronger and know that we can get through things.........

May sound silly but when I know that it's something bothering me that I cannot do anything about (wanting someone here and I can't just reach out myself and make that happen) I have to find something to occupy my mind for awhile, I know if I sit and keep thinking on what's bothering me and don't take a break from that topic in my mind it's going to be alot rougher for me (and probably those around me too)....... doesn't really have to be anything fancy or really productive even, just something you can think of that will take at least a few minutes from you....I'll color with my kids, read them a book, just plain get down and play with them...if the kids have already went off to bed and I'm having a time with something I'll pop online for a bit, find a good book (even crossword puzzles get me to think of something else for a few minutes) Just taking a break from what's really bothering me that way usually helps me so I can get back to things with a clearer mind and really be better for me and those around me too