[mighty3]

I have been reading this forum looking for some positive comments, support or encouragement regarding a husband starting a trucking career. I have noticed many negative posts, i.e "why would your husband start such a career?", "it's not worth it" etc. My husband and I live in a town with no jobs that pay over 12.00 an hour. The cost of living has gone through the roof here and the construction industry which my husband was in, tanked completely. He is in his first day of orientation with Transam and we know what a sacrifce this will be, but we are hoping that with a year or so of "sacrifice", he can move into a regional or dedicated route. We knew going into this that it wasn't going to be easy. It's going to be very hard on him being away from me and our daughter, but we didn't have a lot of options. I hope to talk to some people who have successfully combined a family and a trucking career. I need to stay positive to stay sane!

[Rev.Vassago]

The truth hurts sometimes. Just sayin'.

[Ridge Runner]

Originally Posted by mighty3

I have been reading this forum looking for some positive comments, support or encouragement regarding a husband starting a trucking career. I have noticed many negative posts, i.e "why would your husband start such a career?", "it's not worth it" etc. My husband and I live in a town with no jobs that pay over 12.00 an hour. The cost of living has gone through the roof here and the construction industry which my husband was in, tanked completely. He is in his first day of orientation with Transam and we know what a sacrifce this will be, but we are hoping that with a year or so of "sacrifice", he can move into a regional or dedicated route. We knew going into this that it wasn't going to be easy. It's going to be very hard on him being away from me and our daughter, but we didn't have a lot of options. I hope to talk to some people who have successfully combined a family and a trucking career. I need to stay positive to stay sane!

While you may be looking for a certain type of response what you will get here will be a mixed bag. You will get the good, the bad and sometimes the down-right ugly. Some families have been able to make it work for them ( the good ), some could not make it work due to one or both adults or the kids issue ( the bad ) and some just like to make others feel bad because it drags others down to where they are ( ugly ).

I don't know how your family operates but I will tell you this: it will change alot :lol: You will have to handle things that you have never had to take care of before. Your staying positive and sane is really up to you. If you are relying on a bunch of strangers on a message board to do that then you are in trouble. Most of the posters will give you straight, hard advice and not candy-coat it. If you have a question, ask, but be prepared for honest answers. We're all adults and this is real life. We treat it as such.

Now so you don't think I am coming down hard on you, what would you like to know?

I was 43 and married with 2 kids ( 7 and 10 at the time ). We had the same game plan you guys do. Get the year or so experence in and then go local. Worked for us. Was it easy? NO!! But nobody said life would be easy. There is nothing wrong with trying to plan ahead but you must also take things one day, one step at a time and deal with it as it comes.

Like I said before; got a question, ask. I'm sure you will get some responses :wink:

[Roadhog]

People come here for answers and encouragement. There are many positive members here who will honestly try to empathize with your needs. We have similar backgrounds or face many of the same circumstances.

You are coming from an almost desperate place and are quite negative yourself. I'll see that as reaching out.

Is all the negativity necessarily wrong or bad? Kinda like the misery loves company thing. You can find comfort in knowing many of us share the same heartaches, fears and worries. That should let you know...if anyone, we can share this common ground, and have lived it already. Some successful, and some not. You will benefit from both.

The success is hopefully your outcome. But it will not necessarily mean pulling you out of a certain place...but rather, making you stronger in it. I promise you will hear straight talk, and no one will blow sunshine up your skirt. That will not really help you.

[4roses]

RR:

I was 43 and married with 2 kids ( 7 and 10 at the time ). We had the same game plan you guys do. Get the year or so experence in and then go local. Worked for us. Was it easy? NO!! But nobody said life would be easy. There is nothing wrong with trying to plan ahead but you must also take things one day, one step at a time and deal with it as it comes.

As Ridge Runner said ... One day at a time :wink: .... Even thou I'm a female driver I know and understand what family goes through with a loved one on the road all the time ...

Mighty3 ~ you and your daughter will need to make sure you have good communtication with your husband and her daddy ... when you can get 2 cell phones /w picture phone - it's only about 15.00 extra on your monthly bill .. one for both of you ..this way you can send him pictures of your daughter and the events going on at home and he can send you pictures of things on the road he see's that he want to share with you ... there will be alot he'll wish you were there to experience with him .., this will help ... also that way you two and talk all you want and not be charged for the minutes ... and you daughter should get a big map ... glue it to a piece of cardboard ... use colored stick pins so each time you talk to him ... both of you can put the stick pin on the location where he's calling from ... you could even keep a note book handy when you talk ... write down where he's at ... the hwy he's on, mile marker and where is he heading for ? ... this way you'll know most of the time where he's been and maybe he'll feel like your closer to him on the road. ..... and just for your own information .... pick up a CDL manual at your local Tag agency and read up on some of the info in there about the profession ... that way when he speaks of something on the tractor or trailer ... you'll have a better idea of what he's talking about. ......

The first year will be the hardest ... but keep yourself and your daughter busy ... take pictures that he can take with him on the truck ... make him a small picture book to keep in the truck. ... When daddy comes in with his tractor ... try to take pictures of him seating in it looking out the window ... and tell you daughter that he's always watching her no matter where she's at. Now you didn't say how old your daughter is ... I'm guessing she's real small.

I know it's going to be lonely and hard but you will make it. Hang on :wink:

[truckerslady]

I feel the same way you do, my husband just quit his job of 9 years driving for a local company because they cut back on hours and would not give a raise. Took a good chunck of our money. He is now in day 2 of oriantaion with TMC. This has been extreamly hard on me and the kids and him also. But we will make this work, I know we will. Once he gets his own truck and can be home on the weekends I'm sure things will get better. Shoot me an e-mail, we can give eachother support.
*HUGS*
Crystal

[larz0142]

You know it's funny my brother-in-law told me 8 mons. ago don't do it.He's been saying this for a long time then in the same conversation I get to hear about the money he is making...I'm tired of tring to make ends meet for my family..Think about this you get to march 15 miles with 60 or 70 lbs on your back in heat that is reaching 100 plus all to hear"DIG IN" not getn to see your family for a year or more..

[Uturn2001]

I got married a week after completing my training with my first trucking company. I have been married for 8 years now.

While it was hard being apart a lot my wife and I made it work by developing excellent communication skills. Sure we had our share of fights and arguments but we continued to talk every day at least once. I also made sure to talk to my oldest son for a few minutes every day too and then when I did make it home for a few days we spent quality time together.

It is not easy but it can work and many people do make it work, but be warned. Being married to someone who is gone a lot can and will find every chink in your marriage and try to drive a big wedge in there and cause everything to fall apart.

[Rev.Vassago]

Originally Posted by Uturn2001

I got married a week after completing my training with my first trucking company. I have been married for 8 years now.

While it was hard being apart a lot my wife and I made it work by developing excellent communication skills. Sure we had our share of fights and arguments but we continued to talk every day at least once. I also made sure to talk to my oldest son for a few minutes every day too and then when I did make it home for a few days we spent quality time together.

It is not easy but it can work and many people do make it work, but be warned. Being married to someone who is gone a lot can and will find every chink in your marriage and try to drive a big wedge in there and cause everything to fall apart.

Ummmm........you aren't even a driver anymore, are you????

[RiverCritter]

You need support other than from an internet forum! Real flesh-and-blood friendships from church and/or school or whatever. Relying on an anonymous internet forum is unrealistic... but I agree that it's kinda disappointing here. Another internet form that might be friendlier is some of the e-mail loops for trucker's wives and kids on YahooGroups. Do a search of the groups for "truckers wives" and you're likely to find two or three. I think e-mail loops are alot better than message boards for the most part anyway, because you don't have to learn to use someone else' system to read and post messages - all you need is your good ol' familiar favorite e-mail program.

But really - there's no substitute for real flesh-and-blood friends when your life changes as radically as it is about to.

-Robin