They have a problem with Hogs around here?

 

"OINK...man...this is reeee reeee really not good".. grunted Hog.



WESTERN HIGHLANDS METRO NEWS...press release
Monday December 31st 2007.

In the tiny village of Kilmahog today, chaos erupted as a Wild Hog broke loose from it's pen and was rampaging across the once quiet and peaceful rural setting. "He was gruntin' an' squealin' an' runnin' loch grease lightin'. he cam ben mah yard stoppin' only tae eat aw mah cabbage, an' aff he went cross paddy lock corners." exclaimed Corkie Ferguson.
Local officials are advising residents to watch where they step, and keep their wits about them as they BBQ outdoors, especially if using any glaze, as this can rile a wayward Hog.

Constable McHardy expects they will capture the elusive Fugitive, and have issued bulletins across Western Highlands proper. Calls are continuing to come in overloading the 911 switchboard. Hog sightings are particularly difficult to coordinate, as these beasts are extremely intelligent. Often back tracking and leaving false trails, and unpredictable evasion patterns. Evidence is often in the form of audible squeals and people shouting as well as trash cans being tipped over. Damage is so wide spread, there is no telling the end to such chaos.

"In Irelan' we simply put down a trail av corn an' cabbage roi up ter a 'idden trap. long as dis 'og is not more than say 500 quid (pounds), yer might 'av a chance in capturin' de beast. It'll still take a 'ell av lashings av doin' ter calm a riled up 'og. if oi were yew, I'd jist leave de beast be. The Hoggie 'ill eventually settle down in sum wallow." said Irishman Clancy O'Toole.
"Mighty fine advise and seems likely the Hog is headed for HogsWallow over in Glakensbury Commons," retorted local Councilman John Blair, nephew of former Prime Minister Tony Blair. "I say, just leave the Hog alone and let him go. It's impossible to stop a determined Hog, and no doubt the fellow has good reason to run. Hogs do not normally choose to get off their ass for no good reason. I say look into the origins of this malaise." Blair continued to say.

An investigation will be forthcoming, and meanwhile the region is under siege. Further updates will be presented as this drama unfolds.

 

How funny. :lol:

Speaking of hogs, they must be like deer, and come out more in the winter. I've seen more hogs here lately. You can see where they have rooted around in the grass on the side of the highway.

 

:lol: You'd think a Hog story would make front page.

Notice the story they put on instead? psssh. :roll:

 

The wait for more news on this gripping saga is all too much for me. I did a wee wee in my gymjams. Oh dear! Mommy will be cross. I most likely expect a severe spanking with bound birch twigs across my exposed rear...Oh Lordy Mumsy, this is too much like pleasure...Oooh Aaah Oooh...
I shall read further installments from the safety of my garden shed.
Errrrm but I live in an apartment..
Whats happening?
I,ve lost the plot
sobs ops:

 

Yeah, you would think. :|
Instead, it had some story of a very pretty girl readin the paper.
I bet she can..um, read the paper really fast. :shock: