cheer- me- up
 

8)

A man had just finished a night of passionate lovemaking. He looked over on the nightstand, and saw a picture of a man.

The man started to get worried, and asked the woman, "Is that your husband?"

"No", the woman replied, while cuddling him closer.

"Your boyfriend?", the man asked.

"No, silly.", the woman said, nibbling on his ear.

The man started to look confused.

"Your brother, or your father?", the man asked.

"Wrong again.", the woman said, as she kissed the man. "That's me before the operation."

:shock:

thats sick Rev. :lol:

8)

Here you go:

A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or sex for over 5 years.
She was afraid she might have something wrong with her so she decided to seek medical expertise of a well know sex therapist, Dr. Chang.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang Said:

"OK, take off all you crose."

The woman did as she was old.

"Now, get down and craw rerry, rerry fass to odderside of room."

Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, "OK now craw rerry, rerry fass back to me."

As she did, Dr. Chang shook his head slowly. "Your probrem vewy bad.
You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."

The woman asked anxiously, "Oh my Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"

Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass!!"

8)

"I am a Vikings fan," a first grade Minnesota teacher explains to her class. "Who likes the Vikings?"

Everyone in the class raises their hand except for one little girl.

"Janie," the teacher says, surprised. "Why didn't you raise your hand?"

"I'm not a Vikings fan."

"Well, if you are not a Vikings fan, then what team do you like?"

"The Packers," Janie answers.

"Why in the world are you a Packers fan?"

"Because my Mom and Dad are Packers fans."

"That's no reason to be a Packers fan," the teacher replies, annoyed. "You don't always have to be just like your parents. What if your mom and dad were morons? What would you be then?"

"A Vikings fan."

:wink:

An old man was eating in a truck stop when three rough-looking bikers walked in. As they passed the old man, the first biker pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, then laughed and took a seat at the counter. The second biker picked up the old man's milk and spit into it. The third biker turned over the old man's plate before joining the others at the counter.

Without saying a word to the laughing bikers, the old man put his money down, got up, and left the diner. One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Not much of a man, was he?"

The waitress replied," Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his big rig over three motorcycles!"

I am having that same bad day... Must be something in the air huh?

>> > >A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to

Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and

asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big

planes have baby planes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her

son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have

baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy said, "yes

she did". "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because

Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you."

:lol:

:? :?: I don't get it.

That one Made MY Day :P

I didnt either. I guess,I would have to be either a Mormon,or a Packer fan to catch it. :shock:

I loved that Packer joke too...that was a good one. :lol:

:shock:

:shock: Ooooops! Im sorry,fellers. Its either because I have been up sinse 3:30 this morning,or Im dyslexic,but I miss-read the last part of the Rev's joke. I re-read the Rev's joke,and it was MORONS,not Mormons. Ok. Yeah. Pretty good one,Rev. :lol: :P I was like,..what do Mormons,and Packers,or Vikings have to do with each other... :shock: :P

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8)

You,re good... really good... I like that one a lot! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I,ll try and make this one suitable....

Teacher in class is asking all the kids just how their Daddy spends his time at the weekend.
One by one they all thrust their hands into the air and wait their turn to tell her.
Except that is, for little Tommy.
Teacher notices and asks Tommy what his Daddy does.
Well Miss, if you really wanna know; My Daddy is a pole dancer in a gay bar and he cavorts naked for other mens entertainment, and, if the money is right, he,ll go upstairs with them for a short while :shock:
Why Tommy, thats outrageous, says Miss....
Tell me, is this true?
Not exactly says Tommy, he really plays for the Vikings but I was too embarrassed to tell you :wink:

:lol:

8)

yes, it's so blatantly obvious :lol: :P

8)

yes, i am! it sucks waiting for a load sometimes. i was supposed to run down to Gulfport,MS and repower a trl for a guy whose trk broke down, after i delivered my load this morning(which brought me home to my Baby for the weekend) here in Jackson,MS. No longer than it took me to eat lunch and get 15 miles down the road, my dispatcher calls and tells me to turn around. his trk was almost fixed, so he would be able to take it to San Antonio. :cry: so now i wait for something else, which most likely will be tomorrow. but hey, i been trucking long enough to know that stuff happens.

8)

1997-just joined the accident free million mile club this year. hooray for me! 8)

i'm so bored, i almost posted in the Owner Operator Forum :lol: :lol:

8)

why....thank you. first i'd like to thank...the county mental health center for all the meds..... :shock: j/k :lol: :lol: :lol:

8)

yes, my bad, you are soooooo right, thx! I'd also like to thank the Academy of Mental Health for supplying all those wonderful doctors. oh, and lest i forget where i came from, the farm, that beautiful FUNNY FARM with all it's pretty lights and animals.... :lol:

8)

they listen in my head, well, most of the time :lol:

8)

i think i'll go eat at the buffet, here at Flying J. i will be back in a little while. :D

and no, to answer that question in yer head, i'm not fat. :lol: 6'3" 210lbs. thank you 8)

8)

sometimes i hit the light hanging from the ceiling fan :lol:

decided to bring puter w/ me, thats how bored i be.