Bloo...you know, being a wimmin and all, maybe you can tell me what I'm doing wrong.
I mean... I know enough not to break the restraining orders, but I think my stalking Shania is building bad karma ...maybe.
I finally got another date with Shania, about a month ago. (the begging was epic)
I remembered the last date didn't go well, and I reminded myself....
....any sexy wimmin are going to be out of my league!
I need to let wimmin figure out why they won't go to bed with me, and not offer up all the reasons for them.
Well, the date with Shania was going real well. We went to Olive Garden.
I wanted to take her to a fancy Italian restaurant this time.
We went on my Harley so I wouldn't have to make conversation with her.
After dinner we went for a walk on the beach, and the sunset was magnificent!
The whole evening I just listened intently to everything she said.
I'd laugh, nod, raise my eyebrow and grunt Rrrrr...everytime she spoke way over my head. (90% of the time)
The most I'd say is... "oh ya, eh... u betcha...... doncha know by golly geeez, eh"
She felt so at ease with me, and loved how good of a listener I was. (truth is, I don't remember anything she said)
We got back to her Villa, and stood by the door. The mood was so romantic.
She spoke softly next to my ear and exhaled she had a wonderful time, and thanked me.
I was so overwhelmed with my inner instincts (like a dog...eat it...screw it...or lift your leg on it)
I forgot all about my rule!!
I said... Oh baby...lets %$#@&* !!!!$$$ %@((~? #2<>+$% ...oh come on baby...(groping at her)
She kept beating me with her high heel to get my attention.
Then she grabbed a shovel... why that was by the front door, I think she expected this date wouldn't "really" go any better than the last one.
After she got me to focus, I apologized, and asked her if we could at least ....you know... %$#@&* !!!!$$$ %@((~? #2<>+$%
With final desperation in her voice, she hauled off and slapped me...
and I mean she leaned waaaay back and put some real mustard on it... and said ...."go home Hog!"
(shaking her head in predisposition disappointment)
So, I schlep and shuffled off and after a few schlep's, I looked back with sad puppydog eyes, and muttered I love you....can I see you tomorrow?........?
[door slams.... sound of crickets]
[I think she's just playing hard to get]