The "GOOD DOCTOR" is at it again.

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Old 02-09-2010, 03:49 AM
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Default The "GOOD DOCTOR" is at it again.

While this guy is not giving any stats, I did read an article about a month ago that said a guy that has sex twice a week reduces his risk of heart attack by 43%. That would suggest that if I lived to my current age being near celibate, having sex twice a week would mean I could expect to live to about 90...

Study finds sex reduces heart risk

If you want to gobble down aspirin because of some imaginary heart benefit, be my guest. But if you really want to aid your ticker, spend more time in bed instead -- and I don't mean sleeping.

Go ahead...give that mattress a workout -- because a new study shows why sex is the only form of steady exercise I endorse. Men who do the deed at least twice a week have half the risk of heart disease compared to those poor lonely souls who do it once a month or less.

And if you think the men who do it more often have a lower risk because they're healthier to begin with, then you're as innocent as a virgin. The researchers adjusted for risk factors like age, weight and blood pressure...and found that plenty of sex still made all the difference in the world.

Not exactly a stunner. It doesn't take a genius with a research grant to figure out that sex is more than just a sweaty diversion. It's mankind's oldest wonder drug, and men and women alike can share the benefits.

Steady sex can reduce stress, fight pain and energize the immune system, making the body more capable of fighting cold and flu. Forget flu shots, the best "injection" takes place in the bedroom!

Side effects: happiness and physical exhaustion.

Just don't supplement your sex with risky behavior -- and by that I don't just mean hookers. Avoid the sex drugs being pimped by Big Pharma -- you can get better results from good health, proper nutrition...and lots of practice.

So if you're married and healthy, no excuses. Stop reading and get busy -- your life depends on it.

Speaking of what's good for you...Is a big bottom really better for your health? Keep reading...

Big bottoms for better health?

The latest love-my-body nonsense claims that extra meat in the seat might be good for you...as long as you're not fat anywhere else.

C'mon -- even if it is true, have you ever heard a theory as pointless as that one?

The study from the Department of Nonsense finds that gluteofemoral fat -- better known as cheek meat, and I'm not talking about the cheeks on your face -- can protect you from cardiovascular disease, osteoporosis, arthritis, and even some forms of cancer.

The study, which wasted a few pages of the International Journal of Obesity, also found that extra weight anywhere else on the body would cancel those benefits out -- as if you can pick and choose your fatty deposits from a mail- order catalog.

Want to know what's really going on here? These same butt- loving researchers also say this area needs more study.

Hello -- sounds like someone's gunning for another grant. I hope they don't get too up-close and personal with their subjects.

When I see someone with a big bubble butt bouncing down the street, I don't see a healthy human being...I see a heart attack waiting to happen.

That's because those blimpy bottoms are almost always attached to Hindenburg-sized bodies...and even when they're not I can't think of a good reason to pack extra pounds on anywhere, no matter what fancy words they might have for it.

If you want to stay healthy, there's one place where you can have all the fat you want: On your plate. No one needs to add fat to the body -- unless you're a dangerously underweight vegan and have recently switched back to beef.

Eat a diet rich in animal fats and proteins and you'll be lean, mean and probably smarter than the average researcher. You'll also have a lower risk for diabetes and cardiovascular disease than anyone with a titanic tush.

And you won't need to shop around for a specially designed pair of pants to fit your plus-sized bottom.

With no ifs, ands, or butts,

William Campbell Douglass II, M.D.
 
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