[alnewbie1216]

My wife is against me taking a job in the trucking industry and I'm worried, somewhat about our marriage. I told her that the time away for training etc. could bring us closer instead of further apart (which we have been growing for the past year and a half) We have cell phones that we can use to call each other with no minute charges and the main reason we argue is because of money. There is nothing around here that I can make better than 18K annually to take care of my family. I'm really not concerned with going OTR without here as I need the break from the constant insults. Is my marriage doomed if I take this route or was it doomed before. Just want to know how this might have affected other couples. We do have children.

[Rokk]

I am not a qualified marriage counselor or any authority for that matter. but i am married w/ children at home.

Perhaps you need to ask yourself a serious question to begin with..."Is your marriage solid right now"?

You mention that you both been growing further apart for last year and a half... theres obviously a reaason for this if you look around you or wihin yourself.

you mention you argue about money... i been there,, trucking fixed that issue.

You mention something about constant insults directed toward you.. i am assuming you mean from your wife? .. Couples are supposed to respect each other, be a team and work together to make things work. (my wife always reminds me of this)

Trucking doesnt destroy marriages. marriages that are not solid before trucking is what destroys marriages.

I wish that i could offer some worthy advice for you. I have to remember to work on my own marriage everyday, in this job, money is not an issue, one is never without cash in pocket or bank account doing this job, unlss one is spending unwisely, or giving or gambling or eating it all away on the road.

If you have the desire to drive a truck, i suggest do so, maybe life at home and spouses attitude would change once she see's the trucking green roll in. but that would be a gamble on your part. the only one that can decide what to throw in for a bet, is the man at the table himself.

Remember, if you hit the road, do it with a clear head, be prepared mentally even to point you might lose something at home, once you come out here, you have to have a clear head and focus on your job. cause you cant be there (home ) to fix things at a moments notice. She has to do her part. If you come out here with a buggered up head, you will not succeed. keep i clear and focused, you will make much more than 18k and living check to check. but only if you do it right.

Yes, my wife is all for me trucking, she loves the security of a constant ban balance, benefits and roof over her head. where we live, there is nothing else to do. she has learned over the years that she has to handle things at home, and she does a good job at it. most importantly, there are nor ever have been any trust issues in the marriage so that helps as well.

Hope the best for you and yours.

[TruckinRanger]

Well let me begin by saying that money should not divide a marriage. Remember that vow for richer or for poorer???? Secondly I don't agree with your wife insulting you. As the previous poster stated, marriage requires respect and trust from both parties. Since I'm only getting one side of the story I'm not taking sides. I do however think that if your wife is so worried about money, and you are trying to alleviate the financial strain on your family then she should either go get another job or allow you to find one that will pay you better. Rember beggars can't be choosers. IF she wants more money and less headaches, then she should be more open minded. Furthermore, I think their are more underlying problems within your marriage if its been on the slippery slope for the past year and a half. Since we only got a snapshot of your marriage, I don't think that this will solve all the problems. Now I'm not asking you to give us your life story. Their is my two cents worth.

[GMAN]

Money is not what usually breaks up a marriage, lack of communication does. If there are money issues then things are going to be bumpy until those problems are solved. I have known couples whose marriage has gotten stronger and others whose marriage has crumbled after one got into trucking. I don't think trucking was the issue in either situation. My wife and I have been married for more than 26 years. For much of that time I have traveled. It hasn't destroyed our marriage, nor do I think it has strengthened it. Trucking is what I do for a living. Fortunately, I have been able to earn a decent living at this profession. It is important to have the support of your spouse no matter what you do for a living. However, if the bills aren't getting paid, then that is an additional stress on your marriage that neither of you need. None of us are qualified to tell you whether your getting into trucking will help or harm your marriage. Only you and your wife can answer that question. 8)

[Highwayman]

My wife is against me taking a job in the trucking industry and I'm worried, somewhat about our marriage.

As you should be.

I told her that the time away for training etc. could bring us closer instead of further apart (which we have been growing for the past year and a half)

Wrong. Your being gone will likely be the final nail in the coffin. Your wife will get to see what life without you is like, and she may like it. Or, as my ex-wife did, she may decide that it is pointless to be married to someone who is never around.

Work on your marriage first - trucking strains even the best of marriages, it will most certainly kill yours.

We have cell phones that we can use to call each other with no minute charges and the main reason we argue is because of money.

A long distance argument is far worse than one in person.

There is nothing around here that I can make better than 18K annually to take care of my family.

I doubt that. If this were really true, then it means that you are so lacking in skills, education, and intelligence as to not be employable. If you work 80 hours a week at $6, that's $24960 a year.

I can tell by your post that your intelligence is NOT the problem. You likely just have the same affliction as most people do - inability to see "outside the box" and beyond what you have been conditioned to see. I live in a very economically depressed rural area, and even here there are many jobs that pay more than $18K/yr going unfilled. I'd bet the same is true for where you live.

I'm really not concerned with going OTR without here as I need the break from the constant insults. Is my marriage doomed if I take this route or was it doomed before. Just want to know how this might have affected other couples. We do have children.

Work on your marriage. You owe that to your kids. You chose that woman to marry, you chose that woman to have kids with, now do whatever you must to keep that marriage together so that your kids aren't negatively affected for the rest of their lives.


Save your marriage. For your kids sake.

[richey94]

In my opinion, since you are already have problems with your marriage, things will not magically become better with you going OTR.

Your wife will probably feel abandoned along with the other problems that you have. Marriages are about communication. It sounds as though you and your wife would benefit from some marriage consuling. Some marriages aren't going to work no matter what happens, because the couple wasn't compatable to begin with. I hope that your isn't one of those
for the sake of your children. If you do split, I hope that you will love your children more than you dislike your wife and always put their welfare above the bickering.

My dh and I have a strong marriage, he has decided to work for a company that will get him home on the weekends so he can spend time with me and the kids. I told him that if I feel that OTR is to much of a strain after a year then we will have to talk about him getting a local trucking job and he agreed to do that.

Good Luck to you.

[BanditsCousin]

My girlfriend hates my job with a passion. I love my job with a passion. Therefore, she accepts the hand shes been dealt 8) She already said we'd never get married if I stay driving, but I wish I was worried about that comment (but I'm not :lol: )

[country_rambler]

Wait until your marriage fails and then go into trucking. You'll have plenty of alone time to figure out what went wrong and how.

Seriously, trucking won't save your marriage anymore than winning the lottery will. A solid marriage is something that comes from within. A marriage is not 50/50, it is 100/100.

I am sorry that your marriage is suffering. Like GMAN said, communication is usually the core problem. Yes, you may have money troubles but how you communicate your feelings concerning that may be something worth adjusting.

Best of luck sorting out the deal. I hope that you find happiness.

[Aligator]

We're happier with me on the road. But we have plenty of money and we're older (61/60) than most of ya'll. Also, there is the fact that I will only do this full time for about 4 - 5 years, so there is an end in sight.

[BigDawg]

Yhey don't call em widow makers for nothing,a marriage has to very solid and strong from both parts if not then your goose is cooked.BOL