shouldnt be funny but...
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts! ? ?
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the *****s on the outside.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****..."
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
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