men Shopping

[countrygirl]

>> Mr. and Mrs.
Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her
>>husband go
>> with her to Walmart, but he gets bored with all the shopping
>>trips.
>> He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to
>>browse.
>> Here's a letter sent to Mrs. Fenton from Walmart:
>>
>> Dear Mrs. Fenton,
>>
>> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite
>>a commotion
>> in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban
>>both of you
>> from our property.
>>
>> We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance
>>equipment.
All
>> complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.
>>
>> Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping
>>in Walmart:
>>
>> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
>>people's
>> carts when they weren't looking.
>> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
>>5-minute
>> intervals.
>> 3 July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
>>the
>> restrooms.
>> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
>>official
tone,
>> Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
>> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag
>>of M&M's on
>> layaway.
>> 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
>>carpeted area.
>> 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
>>told other
>> shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the
>>bedding
>> department.
>> 8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they can help him, he
>>begins to
>> cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me
alone.
>> 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it
>>as a mirror,
>> and picked his nose.
>> 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
>>department, asked the
>> clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
>> 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly
>>humming the
>> "Mission Impossible" theme.
>> 12. December 6: In the auto department, practicedhis "Madonna
>>look" using
>> different size funnels.
>> 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse

>>through,
>> yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
>> 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
>>speaker, he
>> assumes the fetal position and screams "NO ! NO! It's those
>>voices
>> again!!!!
>> And last, but not least:
>> 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
>>waited awhile,
>> then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
>>

[Roadhog]

Bill Fenton is you...huh!

[two_ton_trucker18]

Thanks for those great ideas Countrygirl. :twisted: After doing a few of those, I think my wife will quit dragging me to Wal-Mart with her. :twisted:

[Windwalker]

Wal-Mart is my HEALTH CLUB. Doesn't matter what the weather is outside, I always get my excersize there. Just drop the wife off at the door, park the car, then go in and do laps around the store looking for her. I ALWAYS have good weather when I jog.