Have you been accused
 

I've been out here for 2 years and Ive teamed up twice while being out here. I'm not going back team ever again. I was accused of sleeping with someone in saftey at my last company and now I'm scared to go back with that company due to this rumor. The company is a freaking great company I would love to go back I just don't want this to haunt me when I have to walk into that terminal.
I've tried blowing it off ignoring it and I've removed myself from the website completely now, I even canceled myspace so I just don't have to deal with it anymore.
This man is married and I know he doesn't know about the rumor and he if does he has not said anything. I don't mess with people at my work if I was to mess with anyone it sure as hell wouldn't be with another driver or someone thats in the driving field.
Has anyone had this problem before. I've talked to this man a total of 5 times in the year I worked for that company. I have been offered my job back through them I just worried about this problem I don't want him to lose his job because of a rumor because hes really good at his job.
Thnks

Since there's no truth to this rumor ... the man in safety shouldn't have any problem proving it if need be. ..... Sounds like you really like the company you worked for ... so go back to them and continue to hold your head high. What will be - will be. With time this will all go away. :wink:

Since it is a rumor both parties are covered but how strong are you? I've found that rumors like that will totally disrupt your work environment. The gossip always affects how you are treated by others in the company. Its great the company wants you back but how far are they willing to go to end the rumor? Are they willing to catch the instigator and make an example of them? Are you and the company willing to have the company put up a notice that this type of rumor is unacceptable and will not be tolerated? Is the company just saying 'we know its not true' but leaving you to hang in the wind? Is your working relationship with the other party now damaged beyond working capability - even though the rumor is false sometimes the male in the party will avoid any contact with you to prevent any further rumors but this always leads to more rumors? Are you prepared for the 'don't be alone with her' treatment(You know the 'I don't want to be accused of the same thing so I just won't be alone with her' type behaviour)? Is your job gonna be affected because no one will be alone with you without feeling uncomfortable? Basically how much of your job requires being alone with someone of the opposite sex? Gossip like this is horrible and doesn't in my experience ever work out for the girl. Either she gets labeled a rat or she gets labelled a slut neither of which makes work pleasant.

This is what I'm afraid of. When I had state authority take care of my trainer touching me at Central Refrigerated this was what everyone though. I had to go to safety one day and I was told I had to wait out side untill they could have a female escort me and sit with me in a meeting. I should of sued but was unsure of my rights then.

The company has said nothing about this and as far as I know right now the rumor has not gotten too high up into saftey just several of the drivers and a few dispatchers has heard of it.

I don't know what I'm going to to I'm really confused this is something I'm afraid I cannot do. At least not now I hope maybe taking a break and going somewhere else will change my mind.
Thnks for all the info I really appricate it

I am really sorry you are going through this. None of us should ever have to go through it. Especially when we are new it seems to happen. I personally long for the day when I have enough time under my belt not to seen in this light. I have noticed truckers with years of experience aren't subjected to this kind of behaviour. Its almost like its a rite of passage - a wrong one - but a rite of passage nonetheless. Hang in the times they still are a changing.

At the risk of getting blasted here, I would like to add my 2 cents.

While I am not suggesting any of this is your fault, I would like to suggest you examine your behavior, and be honest with yourself, if there is a chance you are contributing to the problems you are having.

You made an issue of quitting MySpace, have had apparently several problems of this nature. Seems there is a lot of drama in your life, maybe some of it was directly contributed by your own behavior. While things like this can and do happen, please consider my suggestion, you may be giving signals to these guys, ask a couple of your friends if that may be the case.

Otherwise, good luck to you. I hope things will work out for you.

I was hoping to but all I work with is men so I'm not going down that path....

Just drive the truck and don't worry about a thing. You hardly ever have to even talk to anybody but your dispatcher. You don't have to have your social life at work. Ignore or don't even find out what anybody thinks of you. Just drive the truck. Your outside social things can be done on your phone and laptop.

Girl.................if your heart is true (bleep) em..........go back, stand tall, walk proud and get the job done. At least if they are talking about you, they are leaving someone else alone!!! :moose:

Don't let them win!!!!!

yooooo Rawhide ,... where did you go girl ... you've been gone 5 months. Just like to know your still rollin upright and all is fine with you. :wink:

Sabine, I think you hit the nail on the head. Rawhide (even your name is enticing), you are probably sending the wrong signals, remove your picture from the avatar or is that Rikki Lake? I think you like publicity or drama or notoriety. Guys dont start those kind of rumors about GOOD girls. Some guy that you probably did DO, started this rumor. Be careful who you DO and how you DO them. Go back to the great company and behave yourself.

Not hijacking this post but "HI" Sabine. Glad to see that you are still around and out trucking. :D Thought of you a lot. Hope things are going well for you.

Soladad

this is good advice hon, just do the job...ignore the crap, trust me on this it never is easy to do but you will get used to it. I worked in a factory for 14 years, it took me about 10 of those years to learn how to survive at a job without going totally insane...good luck with your career.

kate :)

Rawhide:

I read some of the posts briefly. The rumor was probably started by some S.O.B. who wanted to have you. Or better yet, a jealous ugly woman. My bet is on a woman. They are just nasty creatures when it comes to better looking, better figured, smarter, richer women. It's too damn bad that women can't just get along. Remember there's no such thing as a "good ole girls' network." Women just can't get along and don't even attempt to most of the time! Girl, you will always have that kind of crap when you're good looking.

Look at it this way, if you were a dog no one would spread such crap. Be proud, stand tall and look at everyone in the eye. Don't let these petty ass, hopeful guys and/or petty ass women bother you.

It's amazing what crap Petty Little Boys and Girls can start. That's why I don't work in an office anymore. Couldn't stand the petty crap that women start. They would sooner scratch your eyes out then to work with you peacefully. Although, I must say that men do their fair share of gossip also. I would make a ton more money back as an Accountant [have two degrees] but just couldn't stand working with Bitchy Ass Women. Guess I sound sexist towards my own sex-well perhaps I am; due to very painful experiences for years in offices!

My sluttiest non-good looking friend growing up was thought of as a nice girl by my parents. On the other hand, my best friend who was a virgin and drop dead gorgeous and happend to be very friendly was thought of as a slut by my parents. Point proven.

Don't let anyone tell you you are a drama queen. Don't you dare take your picture off your avatar. I've wanted to put mine on their as well. But haven't figured out how to get it on there. I look 15-20 years younger than I am and am damn proud of it.

Hang tough Girl. We don't need to be ashamed of being good looking. Go back to the company and STAND TALL. :) 8) :roll:

What a bunch of bulls@$t!!!! I know that Sizzle has this hate on for all other women and likes to remind everyone that she is better looking than the rest of us, but to blame women for all problems is ridiculolus. Not just another woman, but it has to be an ugly woman.

I know people who like drama and they bring on their own trouble by how they act. By the way Sizzle, I am 29 years old and good looking too ( I don't like to say that because I don't like to sound like I am full of myself because I am not, believe me I am more interested in working on motorcyles or my truck than worrying about my looks) I have NEVER had trouble like that in my life, EVER!!!

I have been on the road since I was 20 years old, I was very young and good looking, but I never let attention go to my head, a lot of women do though. I was the only woman driver at the company where I started and I never had problems like that with people. I got along well with everyone, even the women in the office, imagine that I got along with other women.

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y28...aysnags335.gif

Sizzle ... Come on girl . :nervous: ..... what's there to gain by putting down other ladies .... that's not what we're about ...... If you would of read Rawhides post closer - you would of understood that she was TALKING ABOUT A MAN ! .... a lone time ago I read Rawhides MySpace before she canceled it .... she showed pictures of her man she was dating while at the company ...... Rawhide is a nice person, plain and simple.... The rumor could of and probably was started by a MALE DRIVER ... at the company. I know who she was working for .... anything is possible when you get a group of male truckers together and their starving for a female attention .... and watch out ... if they don't get what they want. :roll: - (not all of them :!: ) - but there's always 'that' group of males that don't care who they hurt in their path.

If it makes you feel prettier, smarter and richer putting other ladies down ... then I guess you've accomplished what you set out to do. :roll:

Drive safely - be nice to others.
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y28...s/PlayNice.jpg

Shawnee-you are still young at 29. I wish I was 29 again.

Rawhide-
I get along better with the male species. I do get along with women, but I still can't stand some of the cattiness and cliques that women form, even amongst other moms. I have grown up with all boys being around and not many girls to place with. I never really got on well with girls because they always made me feel like outsider. I wasn't a girly girl. I played hockey with the boys-goalie. And you have to hold your own or they will thrown you out of the game(kinda like on this board sometimes). :wink: The girls weren't as fun. I used to work where it was mostly males that dominated the work place. They can gossip just as bad as the women, just don't give anyone any ammo.

If you didn't do anything wrong, then walk straight with your head high. I don't care what people think of me because I know the truth and that's what matters.

The question about your avatar-do what you like. I just don't like to post personal pictures on the web. You never know who is looking.

Grow up little girl!
 

Wow!!! You two women just proved my point about not getting along with other women. Seems to me that I was responding to Rawhide trying to help her out.

Shawnee you just make me laugh girl. I was trying to make a point about how women don't play well together. You just proved my point girl.

I am not the one that posted glamour shots on C.A.D. Funny how you didn't go after the other woman for that stunt! She's the one that went on and on about how she's aged like a fine wine. Please Shawnee get over yourself. I mentioned I'm attractive because I was emotionally abused for years and didn't think very highly of myself due to the abuse my husband bestowed on me.

It has taken me years to get over it and I'm still working on it. I'm beautiful inside and don't really give a damn about the outside. I was making a point about how petty women can be. You have proved my point over and over EVER TIME YOU COME AFTER ME WITH THAT B.S. ABOUT HOW I SAY I'M SO GOOD LOOKING. Seems to me you say that over and over yourself. So who is calling the kettle black little girl? I don't tell everyone I'm better than everyone else. Get over yourself girl.

If you weren't emotionally abused for years you couldn't possibly understand how much work it took to realize that I was a good person inside as well as out.

So the next time you want to assault me on C.A.D. do it privately. I'm sick and tired of your B.S. girl.

Re: Grow up little girl!
 

If you would have actually READ the thread.... oh well not worth worrying about!

Yes, Sizzle...I was & do understand...BUT I don't use it as an excuse...

:?: :?: :?: :?:

Been there done that Sizzle....sounds like you're using it as an excuse. DON'T fall into that trap....

Wildkat: Excuse for what? I have not insulted anyone on this thread. Everytime I get on I have to be insulted by Shawnee. You are the one that posted glamor shots not me. Why doesn't she come after you?

There's nothing wrong about being proud of doing a position that is tough at times and there's certainly nothing wrong about saying one is good looking. Absolutely nothing!

Here we go again Wildkat. Why is it that no one P.M.s when they disagree? Oh yeah, it isn't being catty getting on the forum and putting each other down. Specifically people in our age group should not be using this as a forum to put each other down.

Gee, I don't think I've made my point over and over about how women don't get along have I? You have proven the point yet again.

I haven't put anyone down here but acouple of you seem to enjoy consistently putting someone else down. Wildkat with all your accomplishments it seems to me you would be above that type of behavior.

I won't get into a pissing contest with either one of you Canadians. If you want to put me down P.M. me. I don't think it's very becoming or mature to be doing this on the forum.

Oh brother. :roll: :roll: ... Ok I give :roll: :roll: ...I wasn't putting anyone down, nor was I trying to be insulting.

YOU were the one who brought up the glamour shot thing as an obvious dig at me, as I said if you had actually READ the thread, we were talking about how some, not all mind you, men just take you by your looks...I don't have an issue with my looks...I'm nearly 50, I'm proud of how I look :D

I also have been in your shoes...walked many miles in them as a matter of fact...have a STACK of t-shirts to prove it too. I live by the following...

What doesn't break you makes you stronger

... Believe me, I graduated from the school of hard knocks with honours! But I don't use that fact, actually it's something I almost NEVER talk about, as an excuse for the way I behave, good, bad or indifferent. I am me, I am comfortable in my own skin, so to speak.

We all have the choice in life to take what life gives us, we can learn from it & move on or let it make us angry & bitter...I chose to learn by it & move on, I seldom dwell on the past, it's not healthy IMHO.

I have also worked extremely hard for what I have accomplished, nobody EVER gave me anything. What I have I've gotten from my own blood, sweat & tears. I'm proud of the courtesy & respect I have EARNED from others in an industry I have devoted my entire adult life to.

<<<Kat gets off her soap box now>>>> :lol: :lol: :lol:

I don't dwell on the past. I was simply stating why I am where I am. I too am proud of my accomplishments. As should any one of us who can cut in a male dominated industry.

I have two degrees and worked very hard to be educated. I would make a hell of a lot more money back in the office than trucking. I chose to go trucking for two reasons: I love to drive and was sick of working with catty women. I never said that they picked on me for my looks. They are just down right catty and mean, at times for no apparent reason.

I supervised 7 Accountants there wasn't a day that all 7 were happy. They were either PMSing, complaining or crying. I don't know how the Financial Statements got done. Oh yeah, I'd stay sometimes all night to do the work others should have been doing that's how they got done. Silly me, how could I possibly forget that?!?

I could have had a very cushy life and stayed married to someone who made oodles of money. However, my happiness was the most important thing to me. I was tired of being emotionally abused every day. I kept hoping he would change-no way!!! I truly believe once you're an abuser you don't change. It wasn't for a year or two.

So Wildkat I wasn't trying to insult you and glad to hear you weren't insulting me. I was simply trying to explain earlier that I am comfortable in my skin for the first time in decades and shouldn't have to be embarassed or ashamed that I realize that I'm a worthy women. Every single one of us has earned respect.

I haven't been in the industry as long as you have but have done many other things to get me to this path. It is not easy for someone to start over after going through all the education that I have. Trucking would not be considered an easy profession for a woman by any stretch of the imagination.

I hauled trucks and put them on the ground, the axles in the drives and mostly did this in your homeland. I was in 20 below weather one day, with the snow burying my tools when I laid them down to change tools, in Montreal taking trucks apart [don't even know what the wind chill was that day]. I too have earned that respect and don't intend to insult or belittle any one on this forum.

I'm glad that some women have had good experiences with other women. Unfortunately, I have not. They see me in a skirt and I have had many a female talk down to me thinking there's a little Mister in the truck to do the "real work" for me. That has nothing to do with looks it has to do with the fact that they think I'm a prissy female. NOT!!!

The next time a "woman" does that to me I will ask her to come over to my truck name the tools I use and ask them what they are used for. That should make my point.

I came to C.A.D. for some stress release I certainly didn't intend to get into any pissing contests. So I hope we can declare some sort of truce here? :) 8) :roll:

Re: Grow up little girl!
 

I get along very well with other women, you seem to be the one who always has problems with other women, and I think it has to do with your attitude. All I said was that I never had trouble with other women because of my looks

I just thought it was a ridiculous idea that it had to be an ugly woman who was causing problems for Rawhide, because all ugly women are jealous right.

I seem to recall you making some nasty comments when wildkat posted her picture, but you said in your original post that you also want to post your picture. Well go ahead, post your picture and see how many compliments you get.

Yes you did, you said that ugly women are jealous of better looking, smarter, richer women (which I guess would be you). You basically said that if that girl was ugly nobody would start that crap about her. And about the other women that you say think you are prissy, maybe you come across as being stuck up to these other people

By the way, I have an entire shop full of tools at my house so don't think that I can't use tools.

Shawnee: Great for you getting along with women. As I recall you have not been in an office environment. Pray tell, how many women do you come across in trucking? UM!!! Nothing like sitting in an office with 10 women day after day. But oh yeah, you have had so much experience dealing with women at the ripe age of what 29?

I'm glad that you are an owner operator and have been successful. There is no reason to have to tear another female down. Yes, I've mentioned the glamour shots because you tear me down and I haven't even posted my picture. What's up with that anyway? Does is make you feel better to constantly tell me that I've mentioned occasionally that I'm not someone with five warts on my face?

Seems to me you've mentioned that on occasion yourself that you're attractive. Does anyone come after you with such vinegar and distaste? No. I don't have the energy or desire to get into a pissing contest with you. I came over here for some stress release.

Why must you constantly banter about me not getting along with women? Did you bother to read my posts about staying all night to do work that others should have done? I would imagine you wouldn't appreciate that yourself?!?

I only mentioned my looks on occasion it has not been a big deal until you constantly bring it up. I'm leaving tonight and won't be back for weeks so if you respond you won't have a sparring partner for quite some time. I said that women are always comparing to others regarding looks, intellect and money. No, I did not say that I was rich. I once was rich. I am not now. I do not have an attitude about women I just prefer working with men. Several women concur with me whether they are on this board or not. Absolutely, nothing wrong with saying that.

Oh yeah, I realize that people don't have to be gone for weeks to make a good leaving either. I choose to do this. Congrats again on your success of not having to be out for weeks.

You see I'm not competitive with others. I compete against myself to become better. So go ahead and mention all my bad attributes, that's not my nature to tear others down. IT ABSOLUTELY SERVES NO PURPOSE OTHER THAN TO REINFORCE MY COMMENTS ABOUT HOW WOMEN DO NOT GET ALONG WITH EACH OTHER EVERY TIME YOU TEAR ME DOWN.

Sizzle I think you need to consider the fact that it may you YOU who does not get along with women, and that the other women in your old office are wondering why you are so hard to get along with.
You have an awfully big chip off your shoulder.
You keep whining about people 'tearing you down', but then do the same thing?
*shakes head* Bitterness is not healthy.

No I don't have a chip on my shoulder
 

Lady NorthStar: I started off by trying to help Rawhide. This thread has gotten hijacked away from the original issue. No one jumped on me for weeks. All of a sudden I have a chip on my shoulder? I have no intention of sparring with you gals.

I have never had any intention of putting someone else down. I have no idea how all this animosity started. I've had enough. Let's finish this once and for all.

My bestfriend has problems with women in her office also. Someone told her she talked too loud. Now she doesn't dare talk on the phone. It's a long day when you can't talk to people on the phone. Seems to me most of you have been truckers most of your lives. You don't have to sit and deal with them hour after hour. I DO NOT HAVE A CHIP ON MY SHOULDER.

I've asked 10 people that know me if I am hard to get along with 5 of them being women. They all said no. I do not have enough energy or time to spar with you anymore. I came over here for stress release and have gotten anything but.

It is quite common that women don’t get along in offices. Once again, there is no such thing as a “Good Ole Girls’ Network.” There is a reason for that.

I stayed many nights to finish work that other people were supposed to do. So yes, I was disturbed about that no doubt about it. I doubt many people would want to stay all night to finish other people’s work loads.

We are all doing the same job and I would like to just get along. It would be nice if we could have some comraderie. There isn't many of us and no matter what the differences in personalities and ideas I would hope that we can resolve these differences so this gets back on track. Posts don't show the real personalities only talking face to face would make things correct. I don't think we'll have that opportunity.

girl who cares. You wasted to much time on this. I sleep with who I wana sleep with. I dont even waste my time. You'll get over it. But if I find out your married I tell your wife. Just ask justin. He he he. No married men here. Im single and dont want to waste my time on a cheater.

Re: No I don't have a chip on my shoulder
 

I have been a trucker for 3 years and 1 month. I worked in office settings until then, I am 31 years old.

I share some of your general feelings, I can be heard saying women can be catty, and most of my friends are men. But I do not feel so strongly about it to the point of being insulting towards other women. I am a good judge of character usually and the few female friends I have are excellent.

Re: No I don't have a chip on my shoulder
 

Hear, hear LNS...could not have said it better myself....

Nobody likes to be insulted, nor talked down to.

Sizzle, I think what we are all trying to say here is that you tend to come across as insulting, very possibly without meaning to, but you approach is grating. I can be brash & hard headed & often put my mouth in gear before my brain is fully engaged, but try to show SOME tact along the way. It will get you alot further in this industry & in life in general, especially with other women.

We have all had to work very hard to get to where we are in this industry, & more often than not we are our own worst enemy. But that is what comes with the territory unfortunately.

After nearly 30 years in this industry, which most women on the outside looking in would never hope to understand our dedication & love for what we do, most women find that we are not only competition, but a severe threat.

Now, that I think the air is cleared here, maybe we can all play nice??

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I don't know. As is, this has to be one of the single-most entertaining topics on the board. :shock: There's simply nothing more vicious than an irate female. :wink:

I'm reminded of the shows on Discovery channel about lioness's :)

Typical male :roll: :lol: :lol:

I was kidding. :)

I was too :wink:

Ya know what they say about hell hath no furry...... :D :D :D :D

Ladies....I couldnt help but chime in here and offer my 2 cents about this topic that has gotten very "derailed". As an outside observer, I see a misjustice has occured regarding some of the advice dispensed for Rawhides company issue.

I read Rawhides post over many times (both the orginal and the one reply she made) and no where in the 2 posts do I see a gender (male or female) that started the rumor in her company. The only reference to a gender is her trainer (male), safety (male) and a "escort" (female) for a meeting with safety. The gender of her "team mate" from her 1st post is unknown.

Each of you Ladies are trying to offer advice as to what Rawhide should do about all the issues regarding the company she is/was working for and the rumors about her that have been placed there. Why is it assumed that a male started the rumor? From the information in the posts only, there is no way of determining. If her myspace page had any additional information, it cannot be used as a reference source as it no longer exists.

The post got severely derailed, Shawnee, For4roses, LadyNorthStar and WildKat, you started jumping down Sizzles throat for her opinion on the issue. Sizzle is using her own lifes experiences as to what may have occurred with Rawhide and her company, and she did not rule out that the rumor may have been started by another male.

At the risk of sounding like a referee, you gotta play nice. Everybodys lifes experience and personnalitys are different, sometimes it can be very difficult to "express" those traits on a textual forum. Id bet if you where face to face in a real "roundtable" discussing the issue, you'd probably find you have more in common and are more in agreement than you may be realizing from this post.

What advise Rawhide is looking for, Im not quite sure, as she really hasnt specified in either of her two posts. What was despensed was a whirlwind of information, all plausible.

Rawhide, where have you been since June and what has been happening.

No, we were voicing our opinion on her insulting generalization of the female gender.

A few of us ladies have been around here a long time and managed to remain civil and friendly. Hence my opinion that Sizzle may be bringing on her grief herself.

Its always good to know that someone likes to put their 2cents in ... on a topic that may not have anything to do with them .... I beleive LN said it very good ...

:wink:

Second that! :wink: