What would YOU do??
After nearly 30 years, I have finally found, and have a (possible) communication link with, my daughter. My wife and I divorced when she was about 4 yrs old. Things were kinda ugly at first, but not as bad as some people experience. I thought I was doing the "right thing" to give them all some space, and see how things shook out.
To be brutally honest.... I thought she might be better off in life if she DIDN'T know me. But, I always hoped she would WANT to.
I suffered some deep depression over my decision. I waited for a phone call. It never came.
I despised myself for not being more aggressive in finding her as she got older. I guess I still do.
I felt I had nothing to offer her. I probably still don't.
Tonight, with the help and prodding of my neighbor, I joined facebook so that I could see if I could find her. It took awhile... but, I DID. I didn't send a friend request (of course.) I am considering what I should do.
She might never search for my name, might never know that I have found her and can follow her life. I could enjoy the pictures of my "biological" grandchildren without EVER disturbing her circle of "friends" and family.
But, all my LIFE I have wanted to reach out to her and explain why I was "forced out" of her life. Why I wasn't there for her. And how much I have loved and missed her.
Facebook wouldn't let me join with my nom de guerre, GolfHobo. If I send a "friend request" she will see my real name.... and she will KNOW it is me. All of her "friends" which include much of her family (including my EX) will KNOW that I am there. What a stir this could cause! I don't want to make ANY of them uncomfortable, or hurt them, or ruin their "safe" social network.
What would YOU do?