First a quick rundown of my situation. I am 27 years old. Mother to three girls, wife, daughter, sister and so on. We have a big family, 28 of us I think, and we all live within 20-45 mins. of each other in Michigan. We don't like to be split up, and so no one has moved outside of this radius in the past 25 years. (there was a time when my mom tried it...and ended right back home)
My Mom is 46 this year. Her and my Dad (step) split after 16 years of marriage. My mom is great, don't get me wrong (like a daughter would say anything different), but she's always been a bit 'outgoing'. She's also moody...but that's besides the point.
So after 16 years of marriage, all her kids grown and no way to pay the bills, she decides to drive truck. Now, mind you, my mom has talked about driving truck for a long time, seeing the country, cruising with windows down and the music up. She's good by herself. She actually is much better by herself (my humble opinion).
So she starts off with school driving for the infamous Schnieder and their wonderful pumpkin crew. Took schooling with them, did great, did her 2 weeks training, yadda yadda BOOM! She's a truck driver. First off... the boom...didn't really happen. She drove to wisconsin (better off alone...seriously, so didn't take the bus). She got there, they told her to go home, get these alien papers taken care of (no I'd love to claim she's from another planet sometimes, but just another country...yes, shes a canadian). Then she drives back a week later, proper paperwork, and walllla! Now she's a truck driver.
She gets on the road, finds out a girl down the street from us (who I used to babysit) is starting a career with Schnieder also. So of course, what's the wise thing to do...sign up for teams. HAH! This girl is semi-spastic, and I mean that in a fun way. She's young, energetic and very opinionated. Well..so is my mom..opinionated I mean. This arrangement with two noobie drivers and a crap company doesn't work out to well...they split.
My mom during this time has 'met' a few fellow drivers. One of which she had come to her home, where both my brothers and their woman are living, and with my grandma on the other side of the duplex. (side by side: Now before you start thinking this is the slums...it's not quite there but close...it's on the outskirts of Detriot in a little town that's going to shit...but it's the only duplex in the area...it's not like shacktown is...which is a couple miles from me.) This plan doesn't go over to well. She finds that regardless of how many 'late night talks' you have on the phone with a person, they aren't always who they 'sound' like on the phone. I knew this just from lookin' at the guy...but what do I know. He's just he beginning. During this little visit, my girls lose out on time with their Nana, and I have to explain to them that there's a strange man sleeping in Nana's room and they can't stay the night. This doesn't go well with me either.
Now before I go any further, this post is about my opinions of MY mothers actions. Not anyone else's. Should you choose to make the same choices as she has, more power to you
I'm not here to bash anyone's lifestyle, not really even my Mom's. I'm just here to tell you how this is effecting me.So that guy get driven 'home' to his truck at 4 am that night because he bought her something he already knew she wouldn't like. But then she goes back on the road. She tells me that I'm her best friend and she doesn't share her experiences with everyone. Then proceeds to tell me about her 'cowboy' and how they spent a night together in his truck. Then there's another guy who she spent some 'time' with.
Then she's talking to two guys at once. Guy A is a country boy, he's so sweet and kind and *spew* so on.. Guy B seems more like he wants to go places and is more career driven. Guy A doesn't ever call her, she always calls him. Then he goes and has a heartattack on the road, she takes her home time with him...there's another month I won't see her, her grandkids won't see her and the rest of the family. She'd already been gone a month. So Guy A gets home from the hospital, she's there to meet him. She stays with him, has 'fun even tho he's not supposed to, and she leaves. He doesn't even fing call her for weeks...but he was worth missing out on time with your family, people who actually care.
So she drops guy a and goes for guy b. Little did I know, she's never even met the guy, she got his # from a friend who thought they'd have a lot of fun talking and chatting and maybe team driving. So I get to check her email while she's on the road, to 'tell' her what this guy looks like, because she's going to go see him. So I see the pics, I'm grossed out and on top of that he doesn't seem to show any effort on spelling properly. (Again, please understand I'm not insulting anyone who has trouble spelling, I just felt as a whole this guy was lacking in my humble opinion).
Well, she seen that guy 3 times in a week while she was stuck in OH with her truck at the OC getting worked on. He lives 30 mins away and she spends the entire time with him. So when she finally comes home I'm thinking FINALLY! Some quality time for the girls to be with Nana and some time spent talking about me and my family and what's new with us instead of hearing about her adventures with her new man who she can't get off...(I don't want to hear these things either...but well...I didn't have a choice!)
Okay, if you are still reading, thanks for listening, I haven't actually written this all down and it's kinda nice putting it out there and getting it out! I hope you can keep up with my rambling.
Okay, so she comes home. She tells her Grandkids who have seen her for a total of about 3 hours in 2 months that they can stay the night. HAH! AGAIN! HAH! Guess who's coming up from OH (to michigan in case you didn't notice). Guess who is AGAIN going to cancel plans... She spent 2 hours (that's being generous) with her grandkids (only the older 2) and then dinner with us kids (me and my bros) that whole weekend. I did take the girls over there for about 2 hours to try and make up for her slacking...but she spent that whole time packing and getting shit ready to go the next day...I hate when she's only half with us. I'd have rather stayed home or taken my kids to play at the park or something. Thankfully they are young enough to not see it that way.
Since that last visit, I had to tell her to quit bringing men around my kids, because I remember what it was like before she met my Dad and the man I had to put up with and the names my friends called my mom and didn't want my kids to go through that. I also found out while she's out on the road 'visiting' with all these different drivers noones wearing a 'raincoat' when things get 'wet' so I have to worry what these people are spreading to her and what she's spreading to my kids. Thankfully there are truckers out there who are good people in general who have helped her, but I just don't like how my Mom seems to be helping herself to them.
What's worse, is theres been enough of them, that being in a public forum like this filled with truck drivers who are still making runs, theres a chance that one of you might even know her. There's a chance she might find this. What's sad is, I don't think it's a bad thing. I didn't do these things, she did.
Then there's the best part, she quit schnieder for guy b, which means she took on all her loans from there and now has to pay them. She is teaming with guy b which has caused more time away from home. She did get a week between quitting and starting the new company, but it was another one of those, she's half with us times. They are on the road together and I hope they take their home times seperate cuz I really don't like the guy.
So as a daughter of a truck driver, it's cool to hear about the bridges she's crossed, the states shes been to, the stories she's heard and the people who have helped her along the way. But as my Mother's daughter, I'm quite upset that she's using this to get through her midlife crisis (yes, I think that's part of her problem) and putting herself out there like she is. And at the same time, also giving the decent non-promiscuous drivers out there who are just looking to get paid, a bad rep. or giving these guys the idea that woman like to be 'pickedup' while on the road.
Thank you for listening. I hope I haven't insulted anyone. I mean no offense with my opinions.
Bless you and stay safe.
And use protection if you're not going to. Especially if you are coming home to family and friends after 'visiting' other 'friends'.
