husband went to work one day and never came home
 

I've just got a question...I guess.

I thought my marriage was good, when my husband was home for the week-ends, I never made him do anything. I did all cooking, mowing, washing, what ever. I wanted to make everything as easy on him as I could. He is a boat hualer and can be out for as long as a month at a time. So when he was home, I just wanted him to relax. Not have to worry about around the house things. Go hunting and fishing, enjoy his free time. Maybe I was to nice.

He had to leave out Dec 28, 2006, and since that time has only been home once, long enough to take a shower and wash his clothes, this was Jan 24th. He called me and told me that he was unhappy in the marriage, and that we should just be friends!!!!! Since that time I started doing some checking own my own, and have proof, that he has "friends" in at least 5 different cities. I have talked to all of them and none knew that he was married. This has been going on since at least 05. All broke it off with him except for one. That's a different story.

My Question....why would a person, just leave and never return. Is it easy for a driver to have different lives on the road? He almost seems to have a whole different family in CA, and MI.

Yes I have talked with a Lawyer, but this is just so hard for me to understand. I cant understand how a person could do this to another person. How he could have lived a lie for the lenght of time that he did. Trust me, I didnt have the foggest idea that anything was wrong with my marriage. Up till the day he left on the 28th, he was happy!

Is it that lonesome on the road that some men have to look around? I just need to know. If we had problems, I could deal with it a little bit better, but trust me, I never knew we had any.

Do a lot of drivers, that you see on the road, do this? I cant understand this.

Thats a very sad deal. :sad: Good luck to you.

Be glad you're not being cheated on anymore. I am sure the hurt is unbearable right now, but at least he was honest about not wanting to be married anymore.

I know the feeling...I had a similar situation- I was the driver being good, she was the one acting the fool at home. :cry:

Re: husband went to work one day and never came home
 

I can understand why you want answers! I really do! That must be devistating, but understand this is no fault to yours. Some men & women just have the cheating in them. Understand if he leaves you for another woman he will do it to that woman. In his case umm well he will be doing it to the 5 other women he has! He could be left in the dark, guess who he will run back to? YOU! Because he LOVES you! Will he do it again if you take him back? YES! You are probably better off without him, you will never trust him again. I have many drivers hitting on me and they are married, I simply tell them you are married and they say "what they don't know won't hurt" I try the reverse to get them off my case as in "I am with someone" the same comes out "what they don't know won't hurt". I want to smack them, but of course my job would fire me, so I just roll my eyes and go on about my business!
Please don't take him back unless YOU know for a fact you can trust him fully not to do it again! He will come back begging for you! Be happy, you deserve it :wink:

Re: husband went to work one day and never came home
 

This problem you have with your worst half is not a DRIVER thing. It is a MORAL and CHARACTER flaw that a lot of men and women of all walks of life these days seem to have. Absence makes the heart grow founder seems to be out the window these days. I feel for you, but you will heal and have a happy life.

Hi there,

I am so sorry about your situation...He is not the right person for you to live with...you can find a good one for you...there are many good men who will be the one loves you and takes care of you.

Not all of drivers are like your husband. There are many ones try to work hard to support their families, kids. They are waiting for every two weeks to have 2 days off with families....

Trying to forget him. The right man will come to you....

Take care of yourself
Have a nice day

Tippy

I am truly sorry to hear of your troubles. Had 2 liars and cheaters--neither of them were truck drivers. I am now married to a wonderful man whom I trust implicitly. The problem is not with you, it's his character. Forget you knew him! I know that's not easy, I've been there, but it's worth it in the long run.

My best friend's husband left one day for a meeting and never came back. They had 17 years of marriage and not a single warning sign. She was a perfect wife, imho. But he wasn't a perfect (or even decent) husband. It wasn't her, it was him. It took her years to figure that out, but 9 years later, she's happy and he's miserable. There is poetic justice in that. :wink:

omg!!
 

That is terrible! What a pig! But, sadly yes that is how most men are. I don't think I know one woman that has never been cheated on, happy or not. For some reason, most men need variety. And not just on the road because the lazy men that don't work or help around the house still for some reason cheat. Good men out there don't take this the wrong way. There are a few of you out there who are loyal and I applaud you for that! But hopefully you can sue his ass for some serious money you deserve it for all her heart ache!

I hope you're ready for the firestorm that is about to come your way. :roll:

Then you need to get out more. :roll:

To characterize most men as cheating pigs and most women as cheated upon lonely hearts, is a disservice to both genders.

Good luck with this one...you're going to need it.

Re: omg!!
 

Most men are like that? Few men are loyal? Most men need variety?
Why not say "most women are like that, Few women are loyal, all women need variety!"

I have NEVER cheated on my wife, I feel like I'm like MOST MEN.
Yes it's sad this happened, and it happens all the time, but it's a two way street on who does the cheating. It's the person not the gender that cheats.

:roll:

Hmmm, can't agree w/that "Most men..." - goes both ways; Besides, I hear of more women that cheat than men, but whatever. :roll:

Both Female & Male's are cheaters! I don't believe she meant it any other way :lol: Us females know there is good men out there and there is cheaters out there. It happens the opposite way to! My friend was a cheater to her husband.It takes a great relationship not to cheat on each other. It takes 2 not just 1:).
It goes both ways, but men are more known to cheat than a female. Females cheat when they are unhappy. Males cheat because they like voyeurism.

Re: omg!!
 

What happened to the O.P is in deed sad and I wish her the best as she copes with this ordeal.........

But where in the HELL do you come off categorizing that "MOST" men are like this???? And the "FEW" good ones shouldn't take it the wrong way..... :evil:

Just because YOU choose rotten apples does not mean that the majority of us guys are rotten :roll:

Re: omg!!
 

Agreed..... (maybe Dawn will read yer post too.. :roll: )

I agree..........men & women both, cheat!

They dont have to be truckers either.........office staff, firefighters, police officers, it is EVERYWHERE!

It is totally a moral issue.

I feel very badly for you. Whatever happened to the institution of marriage, the love, fidelity, etc............does that go out the window once the kids are born or the honeymoon is over? Sheesh! NO YOU DONT HAVE TO ANSWER THIS ONE........WE WHO HAVE SEEN IT, ALL KNOW.

Re: omg!!
 

OP Sorry that his has happen to you. Sounds like you were the perfect wife. Some guys do not get it some times.

NOT all are like that, in fact I had 2 wives that were bad. I been married twice. First wanted 2 things, a Wedding, and a Child. Once my daughter was born she left 6 months later.

Second Wife would fool around on me while I was out.

So MOST men are not.... How would you like it if I say all Women are like that? But if you see where I am at, you know my feelings about American women. Some are good but most are out for themselves, not for the marraige anymore.

slow down now guys
 

I am not saying that women don't cheat. I know good men that have been cheated on too. So don't take it the wrong way. There are good men out there. And when I say that most men cheat, I don't mean that they currently cheat on their wives. I am saying that a majority cheat or will cheat sometime in their life. Even if it is in a petty kid relationship. The fact is, it happens and that is all I was saying. Believe me, I have nothing against men. Most of of best friends have been guys, they tend to be more loyal friends when it comes to gossiping. Perhaps I have just had bad experiences with men. I mean my dad wasn't even a good example. My mom came home one day to find him in her bed with another women. So maybe I spoke too bluntly out of angry and sympathy for her because I know what she is going through, but please don't take it the wrong way! Believe me when I say, bad women are out there too and as the one guy said alot of women are out there for themselves. We definetly have alot of golddiggers out there!

Re: slow down now guys
 

I can give you a good rate on hauling the dirt away from the hole you are digging for yourself..........

As Rev stated, that hole has to be getting deep. :roll: A word of advice; you're not doing yourself any favors by basically saying the same thing with different words.

Re: slow down now guys
 

Do you wear dungarees, boots and have very close cropped hair?
Just wondering :?

No way! very straight actually. That it why I stated that I have nothing against men! I get along with men much better than women. It's too bad that the men that read the posting are taking this to heart. If you are a good man it wasn't directed towards you. If a man was cheated on several times or seen someone they cared about get cheated on they would have the same bias opinion about women and there isn't anything wrong with that. Anyhow, I guess I will leave you all alone to take it how you want to but it wasn't intended the way you all have read it.

well iv been married 23 years this friday my husband had cheated at first and to be honest i had at one time but the years have past think we grew out of that

Re: omg!!
 

Your words, not mine. You refer to us all as pigs, lazy pigs at that! Lazy, cheating pigs in fact. You can,t blame anyone reading that to think.....Ahhhhh... Orange is not the only fruit.
Soz :wink:

Except for all the stuff you have against them.

Re: slow down now guys
 

It would appear to me that she reached rock bottom and then started digging!!

:oops: :shock:



I'm not sure if she has thought out her thought process very clearly. Your mom was cheated on so, consequently, you have a bias against all or most men?

My dad was an alcoholic but I don't have a bias against beer. :shock:

I think she needs a back hoe Rev.
Keeps trying to back peddle, but it's not working.

BTW, who are all these bad men cheating with? WOMEN!!!

I think women are the lazy dirty pigs of the bunch. I mean all they ever do is tell us what to do. :lol:

Sometimes the best way to end a thread is to stop responding. :)

Just a thought.

Ahh your no fun. :sad:

should rename this thread "Battle of the sexes" lol

I like Scoe's new avitar.

Apparently, even a caveman can use a computer! lol

:lol: :lol:

What fun would that be?? :lol: :lol:

How are u doing??

I'm doing o.k. I think,, Some days are hard.

He has came home only twice since this hapened, once to take a shower and the second time to check the house after I moved out. The house is on the market, divorce papers were filed with grounds ( which made him mad )

He spends all his off time in MI with one of his gf's, but he still wants to keep our joint checking account open, his address as mine, and for me to pay all his bills for him.

he still hasnt told me what happened, which I could deal with things better if I could only hear it out of his mouth. There are still day's that I fill as though he stomped me into the ground, but it is slowly getting better.

I assume you have closed the account? If not, do it immediately. If the bank is still open, do it TODAY. Otherwise, be waiting for them to unlock the doors tomorrow morning.

Bills? Make certain you get the ones you are responsible for in your name and get your name OFF the ones that are his.

Address? If he's using the house that is on the market, bully for him. Tell him to find someone to get his mail.

I tried to close the account but the bank will not allow me to. They said that sinse it is a joint account that we both have to sign to close it. I then tried to take my name off of the account and again they wouldnt allow it. They said it could only be closed, plus since his payroll is d. d, that even if I were able to close it, that every friday it would reopen when his check was depoisted, untill he changes that where he works.

As to the address thing, No he wants to use my new address. His CDL has to be renewed in may and he wants to put my new address on them. I asked him why not use the one in MI, and his answer was that he didnt know where he would be living!!!!! His company does has the new address though, for Insurance and contact info.

Me taking care of the bills, I dont understand him there, he knows that I could ruin him if I wanted to, I could just stop paying the bills that are in his name only...and my lawyer suggested that. I cant understand where he is coming from. Why does he want to use my address, keep a joint checking account, and have me over see his bills and payroll? He is just out there!

Don't mean to sound too harsh, but it sounds like he is just using you.

Freeze your assets. Your divorce attorney should have done this for you already.

Because he knows he can use you. Tell him to shove it.

I agree with Rev. Do anything and everything in your power to get that account closed any way possible. The last thing you need is for him to bounce a bunch of checks. Actually both of you could go to jail for check fraud.

Do not let him use your new address. If he has given the company his new address, then let him use that one for his bills also. He will have to start taking care of them now whether he is gone or not. He will have to find a way. Anything that comes to you in his name, do a return to sender through the post office the same day if possible. I think you may even be able to tell the post office to return any piece of mail that arrives in his name. You will have to go up to the front desk and talk to them about it.