Have the ceremony in a pee-stained T/A parking lot, with trucks idling all around you.
Have the reception at the boofet line, and make sure nobody washes their hands after going to the bathroom. :wink:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev.Vassago
Have the ceremony in a pee-stained T/A parking lot, with trucks idling all around you.
Have the reception at the boofet line, and make sure nobody washes their hands after going to the bathroom. :wink:
And to make it really authentic dress up some lizards as servers! :lol: :lol:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Useless
"You may now change your log books from "On Duty; Not Driving", to "Sleeper Berth!!" 8)
Where will you two be taking your 34hr. Re-Set???
I had some more ideas, but I was laughing so hard after that one Useless, I plumb forgot *dies* :lol: :lol:
A Trucker's Wedding
Dearly Beloved,
We are gathered here today to celebrate in joining Goldies Plating and His Old Lady in the Holy Union of Team Driving Partners for Life!!.
If there is anyone here today who knows of a reason why this couple should not be United in Holy Team Driving-Lock, or if someone happens to know that the bride or the groom has any outstanding warrants, unpaid fines, truck abandonments, or some other crap on their DAC Reports that we don't know about, Let them speak now, or forever shut the f@#&k up!!!
Goldies Plating, Do you take this woman to lawfully be "The Wife"??
[Say: "I do"!! ]
Then repeat after me:
I, Goldies Plating. take thee, My Old Lady, to be my lawfully wedded Co-driver and The Wife, to Love and to Cherish, for better or for worse, in sickness and poor living conditions, for poor or for even poorer or still, when I am drunk, or hung over, or occasionally sober, and to occasionally buy you a cup of coffee every now and then, and to take a bath at least once a month, whether I need it or not
And do you, Gold Plating's Old Lady, take Goldies Plating, to lawfully be "Your Old Man??
[Say: "I do!!]
Then repeat after me:
I, Goldies Plating's Old Lady, take thee, Goldies Plating, To Love, Honor, to Cherish, and Obey, For better, or for worse, for poor, or for even poorer still, in sickness and in poor living conditions,
For when you are drunk, hung over, or occasionally sober, to drive down to the jailhouse at 4:00 in the morning to pick you up, to see to it that you make your court dates, when you are in jail, or out of jail, when you are on probation, or off probation,
To wash your truck and Armour-All The interior, to polish the wheels and all the other chrome, to fuel up the truck, to pre-trip and to post-trip, to wash the windshield and the windows, to check all fluid levels, to check the tire pressure and air up the tires, to replace any burned out lights, to check the airlines and brakes, to slide the tandems and balance the load, to load and unload the freight, to drive 11 hours a night, (the "graveyard run") and to learn to master the art and science of performing routine and periodic maintenance and emergency roadside repairs,
to polish your (gear shift) knob,
To keep track of all of the paper work, to keep your log book somewhat semi-legal, to do whatever the f&@$k else needs doing,
To wash your dirty clothes, to look the other way and pretend that I don't notice your "hooter checks" or when you pinch a waitresses fanny, or slap her butt, and to refrain from complaining about your body odor or smelly socks,
And to not bitch at you when you cut a "one cheek sneak", or to let loose with a loud "wet one", and to stay pretty and sexy looking the entire time, even when it's "that time of month"!!
Is there a ring?? If not, then would The Best Man look around, and buy a cheap, electro-plated gold chain from some dude in the truck stop parking lot!!
You may place the ring on Your Old Lady's finger, or place the electro-plated gold chain around her neck.
Now, By the power vested in me by "The Federal Marshall", I now pronounce you Old Man and The Wife, and Team Partners for Life.
That which has been ordained by God, Let no Man, Dispatcher, or DOT Officer put asunder!!
You may kiss your bride, then change your log book duty status from "On duty, Not Driving", to Sleeper Berth!!
Here is another valuable suggestion:
Place your wedding registry with "MadMan's House of Tattoos and Body Piercing"!!
01-13-2007 11:24 PM by
dpatt
Hmmmm...
Wonder where you'll find a black suit with chrome buttons and a chrome tie...
