Help with teenage son
 

When I was in AL picking up a truck for my Dad I get a call and it's my wife she says my oldest son 16 had stole my KW W900 and has taken it to a party that we told him not to go to apparently trying to impress his friends. Any how he gets drunk gets in the truck and tries to drive it back ends up getting in a wreck and abandons the since thank fully the guy he ran into was a friend of mine and is not pressing charges as long as I pay for getting his car fixed. But I still don't know what to do the KW is also going to need some work done to the front of it witch will cost me close to $2,500. So what should I do.

Is this a joke? What you do is get that boy to work and make him pay for his 'mistake'. Your friend shouldnt have to wait for repairs and if hes keeping your kid out of trouble, pay the man his money and get it back (every cent) from your son. A summer of working to pay his debt and not doing much of anything else sounds right to me.

No it is not a joke. I have thought about him working it off trying to get him a job some where but not having much luck also thinking about sending his A$$ to military school. And I also have cut my friend a check today for $6,542.32

Military school would be right up there with the best suggestions. Whatever you do, it should be drastic...just having him work it off probably isn't enough. Just be thankful he didn't kill somebody.

Maybe your friend is NOT doing you a favor by not pressing charges. Perhaps this is exactly what your son needs to be held accountable for his actions.

Man if I was you I would make him get a job and pay for all the damages.

I know it's hard but have you ever heard of Tough Love?
Too late now but you should have had his butt thrown in Jail for awhile and NOT bail his ass out.

I agree. A nice night or two in jail and then military school would have been in order. If I had pulled a stunt like that when I was 16 I wouldn't be here typing this now. But I guess that is why kids are like they are now days. No real discipline.

I am going to send him to military school but he can't go for about 2 months so every evening and weekend he is going to wash the trucks and clean out the trailers and every one of those trucks and trailers are going to look like their brand new or he is going to have to do every one of them again.

Yea that's a good idea.

I think I would have him work everyday after school and on weekends until the repairs were reimbursed. Once school was out, I would have him work night and day to pay you back. If he has a car, you could sell it and apply the money to what he owes you. He needs to learn that there are no free rides. Even after he goes to military school, he could still continue working to repay this debt. 8)

Thats a good idea to.

My dad woulda beat my butt half off and then I would have worked and did nothing else til it was paid off. No TV no phone no going out nothing.

Sometimes Kid's will be Kid's,Military school is a little harsh,just another word for reform school.
First ask your self,Has he gave trouble before?What kind of grades does he make in his school?Basically is he a good kid?
An I know this one will hurt,& we don't need an answer,But answer this one truthful to yourself,What kind of father have I been?(not just material thing's.
Sure hope you don't think of me as being smarta#$,Because I raised a son also.>>>>Bentpole

wow
 

i have had problems like thet with my soon to be step daughter she did not still the truck but she was doing it beacuse she misses her dad and wants attention from him my suggestion is that you take him with you for the summer make him help you n the truck so hes doing mos of the hard stuff like dropping trailors and so on dont let him sleep if your not show him what its like to be you and how important your truck is to your life style also it will make him fill important and he will learn from it but dont make it to much fun rember he is being punished

i agree with sunshine Mack...take his butt out on the road for the summer...let him do ALL the work. fueling. lumping (which u keep money to repay u for repairs to ur truck and friends car) no sleep unless u sleep, no video games. Tough Love is the best way to teach him responsibilities. As a mom of 3 now grown boys... they all are fine gentlemen. i am not a child abuser by no means...but a tuff situation like he has put u in would not get any sympathy from me. be as tuff on him as he has been on u. he will respect u for it later. if u let him slide even the slightest on this issue...it will only get worse. good luck...been there, done that.

I imagine that the justice system would teach him a lesson. Do the police know about the accident? These are some pretty serious charges. Grand theft auto, driving under the influence, and leaving the scene of an accident.

Why are YOU looking for a job for him?

Have him get his happy little _ _ _ off the couch and start looking, and give him a short time period to find something. If after that time or he doesn't get off his little _ _ _ tell him that he will start working every spare minute cleaning. During that time make the payback small - $.50 a day.

My experience with law enforcement when it comes to juvenile problems is 100% depressing dissappointment.

The other side of this coin is that he may be calling out to you wanting something from you.

So
 

You pathetic *** would report your kid to the cops, get them to throw him in jail and not pay his bail? Talk about poor excuses for human beings. Military school? Mental masterbation is fun isnt it? Thinking about your son getting screamed at , hazed et al for the next year or two? Why the ungreatful little brat! After i spent a good ten seconds making him! You're going to take him away from all his friends. His life. His future. Inflict idiotic rambo wannabe drill sargeants on him as a teen.. because he made a mistake. You havent made any have ya? Specially when you were a teenager..

Go ahead. Listen to a group of sad old lonely hateful men tell you how to raise your kid. Send him to military school. He's not the one who's gonna pay. YOU are. Because he's going to remember what you do now for the rest of his life. Dont matter you think? "Hey ill always be his dad"? Well when you're 70 sitting in a truck somewhere alone wishing someone would call or ask you to visit. When your in an old folks home wondering why you never see your kid, etc etc etc you just remember the "wisdom" these jackasses taught you.

You will only EVER do one thing in your life thats important. Noone will remember the miles you ran. Noone will ever knwo the house you built was there. Your "career" will disappear into the ether the day you die. Your children are the ONLY thing you will EVER do that mean anything. The rest is just getting yourself "stuff".

Try putting him on the truck with you for six months. You'll get closer. He'll learn truck driving AND way more than pay you back in labor. And you both might learn something. That you'd even consider sending him to military school to "get him outa your hair" says a lot about your relationship already.

Um, you might want to reread what the initial poster said. His kid didn't just screw up. His kid committed serious crimes, if you want to get down to the brass tacks of it all, and he was darn well lucky he didn't kill someone.

I make mistakes as an adult and made plenty as a teenager. All of us do and did. But few of us can claim credit for jacking a 19K pound rig and taking it to a drinking party, only to wreck it later on in an accident with another vehicle. Those of us that have screwed up to that level as a teenager, usually end up in juvi hall or worse.

In this kids case, if the punishment doesn't fit the crime (which was pretty darn serious and warrants some pretty serious action), he's the one you will read about in a few years that jacks a few cars and kills a few people on a merry crime spree across the country with one of his equally retarded friends. :roll:

Parents have a responsibility to love and teach their children and sometimes those lessons need to be harsh. Letting the kid off with a pat on the top of the head and an 'oh, it'll be all right, so let's go fishing' is little more than neglect. Children need to know there are consequences to every action, both good and bad. Those consequences should match the screw-up and if that means correcting serious disciplinary problems in a military setting, then so be it. While I agree that military school should only be a final solution if other serious consequences do not have the desired behavior-changing effect, military school is still a far better option than juvi hall or prison, which is exactly what's in this kid's future if he doesn't get straightened out. Ask yourself this: which would you prefer if it was your child?

You're right Batman-Like in the news yesterday about the woman who wanted to be a "Friend" to her Kid-Had sex parties and furnished Drugs to them.

Just love hearing from these Anti-War -Anti-Military Whacko's :roll:

Hey idiot
 

Im a vet. From your posts id bet you're just another chickenhawk freeper.

Twilight- What you said is true. He made a serious mistake. But he's a teenager. A kid. Remembr what its like to be a teenager? When i was one my brother "stole" the family car and left it in a ditch. Parents didnt put him in prison for it. If we'd had a 19kpound rig you can get thats what he would have done. When i was a teen I made mistakes. When you were so did you. It is part of growing up. The idea is to teach your children not to make mistakes like that. Not to compound it. Some of the posts in this thread were constructive. Like the driving suggestion. The make him work it off suggestions. Some of the others, like the aforementioned freeper dweeb, are just made by sad little men who want to see others in pain. Preferably others who cant fight back. If i gave you the impression i thought the kid shouldnt be taught a lesson its because my mouth doesnt always communicate.

Re: Hey idiot
 

I'll put my 214 against yours any day of the week you little twirp.
Been and saw more combat in 14 months than you've probably ever seen. You probably have seen NONE
I'm HARDLY a little man-door is WIDE open little boy

First of all, enough with the posturing please on both sides. Tossing insults and threats over the internet is going to accomplish nothing but muddy up the thread. I got sick and tired of deleting pointless insult posts from a couple of posters earlier this week and do not wish to have to do it again.

Now, back to the topic.

With all due respect, taking the family car and putting it in the ditch isn't even in the same ballpark as jacking Dad's truck and livlihood and hitting another car with someone in it. As I said, this kid was lucky he didn't kill someone or he'd be sitting in jail up on manslaughter charges.

Anyway, I don't disagree that there are preferrable methods to dealing with his problems than sending him off to boot camp right away. But as I said, I would much rather send my kid to military school than to juvi hall or prison, any day of the week. Maybe the kid will learn a lesson and straighten out before drastic measures need to be taken. Then again, maybe having a sergeant screaming in his face will be the only way. Better that than having a warden do it, with fifty other punk kids waiting outside the door to lead him down any number of dead-end paths.

Forgive me twilight
 

But i get really sick of these chickenhawk freepers cowards tossing insults. Being told you and your friends who served are traitors by people who couldnt be bothered gets a little annoying.

Of course theres a difference in damage. Theres a difference in the scale of what he did. But the intent was the same. He just had a bigger opportunity to make worse mistakes. And frankly i thought the suggestion that he be put on the truck and be forced to work the money off over the next few months loading and unloading was brilliant.

That's why I said both sides need to reign it in. There has been enough mud-slinging from both sides over the past week or two to cover everybody with crap about 6 inches deep. I'd like to see everyone, regardless of differences of opinion, just try and get along a bit better.

As to the suggestion of putting the kid on the truck, I though that was a good idea, too.

I think he does need to be taught a lesson by the justice system......

I know I'm a little behind the times here but I just couldn't belive this when I read it. I don't know what your state laws are but where I live in MN having a license at 16 is a parental privledge. One in which a parent can revoke. However if you so chose to do it they can not get the license again till they are 18 years old.

Now. One this kid "stole" the truck, and two and much more worse he "drank and drove" drinking and driving in a car kills people, he could have killed a bus load of people in that truck.

If it were my son, the license would be gone AND he'd be paying for all the damages.

Those are seriouse offenses that should be delt with in a very serious manner.. no slap on the rist here.

I have tried the truck idea before when he has got in trouble for drinking and other stuff and now I don't know what to do and I agree with Bat Boy Military school should be a last resort but it's the only thing left and I don't want him to end up in prison and he is now working his a** off doing anything and everything around hear and at the yard were the trucks park.

I'm an ex Juvenile delinquent and car thief. It all happened before I was 16, so it doesn't show anywhere. I even got a Top Secret clearance in the navy.

I'd have to know more about the kid. I'd grade him on appearance, quality of friends, work habits, degree of remorse for the act, attitude toward law enforcement, and maybe some other things.

I'm not too much in favor of beating him to death over it, but not too much in favor of coddling him, either. Number one; make sure he gets through high school. Then, maybe the service will appeal to him. If not, then a trade school of one sort or another....

If the kid is NOT going to finish high school, has friends that look like dirt bags, looks like a dirt bag himself, then I would take drastic action. But my experience is, you do the best you can to love the kid anyway.

My father and I didn't survive my adolesence. He forced me off into the navy, refused to allow me to come home after Boot Camp, refused to allow me to come home for Christmas, and I never forgave him. Not going to, either. Jerks have kids, too.

So you'll have lots of chances to blow it, lots of chances to make up.....best of luck with all of 'em. :)

Just a update I sent him to military school and when he came back he was totally different much easier to get along with and doesn't sit there and whine when I tell him to do something and this summer me and him are going to go otr he will help me trying to repay his debt.

Good! I knew that would do it!

My brother did some drugs and got caught, spent the weekend in jail and came out the same. Later on, he stole some cars, and off to jail he went. Went through the system for about 9 months before he got out.

When he came out, we found he had a 6 month old daughter (another 'bad" thing he did before stealing the cars). But we also found a whole new person. My brother CHANGED. "Grew the hell up" type of Changed. He was more ready and responsible enough to be a father, does no drugs, holds down a over-full-time job, and is taking care of both his 'baby momma' and beautiful daughter.

Jail, military school, or super tough love, all of them WORK and I've seen it to know. You did the right thing, he may not forgive you now mack, but when he gets older and can look back with 20/20 vision and some more wisdom, he'll thank you for doing what you did. That ain't too tough of punishment, it's a "Get your act together, this is the Real World you'll be living in soon" slap. Good for you Mack. I'd have done the same in your shoes. Although, since jail leaves a record, I probably would have done the Military School option like you did, or the "Put on a truck and worked ass off" option.

Can't belive he did that? Want my .02? Here it is!!!

OK- he stole the truck, something that could have killed someone. Guess what your insurance would say if he got in a wreck and injured someone! Hint: they wouldn't pay (unless you reported it stolen, a hard thing to do on your own blood). Luckily, he didn't, and you knew the person. If it were me, someone you DON'T know...there would be a police report. He'd lose his license for the offense (no cdl) and for the alcohol (zero tolerance law).

Second- he was DRUNK? At 16, thats 5 years premature to drink according to the law. If hes stupid enough to drive drunk, he needs a whoopin. As a father, I'd send his azz to AA or another substance abuse program...for real. Drinking at 16 is gonna be problems down the road...

Next, take away his freedoms. Driving anymore? Hah! Hope he pays for his own insurance, if not, he better. Does he have a cell phone..hah...not NO more.

Whats next, will he steal your firearm (if you have one) and impress his friends at a party?

Where theres smoke..theres fire. I undersatnd everyone messes up, but I don't know his record or his personality, but there must be repricussions.

My parents would beat my butt, make me do hours and hours of community service, and probably report this to the police to protect them. What he did was wreckless, and could have killed my mom, sister, or father with a 22,000# missle at the hands of a kid with less than 1 year driving experience in an autombile. I'm glad he didn't kill anyone or himself :shock:

Your late.....that's what happen last year he's just updating you on what he did and his plan of action now!

yea
 

glad to see the kid turned himsef around

i am sorry but i say if it was me and my son would have ever done that i would have let his but go to jail, then made him work to pay me back and bust his a*s because the boy new what he was doing
and this is the really world they will not always have mommy and daddy to get them out of trouble and if you don't bust down on him now
one of these days he is going to get in big trouble and you will not be able to get him out of it don't baby him make him face what he did
from trucker wife 26
and i am not a cold hard b*tch i am just a mother

UPDATE: MACK turned out to be a 16 year old kid, most likely the one who stole the truck in this episode. No sense in responding as MACK won't be getting any help on this forum. Lying is one thing, starting fights with others is another.

16 year old
 

My trucker has 13 year old boy who he loves dearly and is often very easy on because he has a lot of guilt about being away a lot and not being able to "teach" him to be a responsible man. Well I'm here to tell you that going easy on your kids just because you're out making a living is not doing them any favors. You need to allow the punishment to fit the crime and this one was 1. irresponsible, 2. dangerous, and 3. expensive and he needs to pay for all of it.
Do your wife a favor by not letting it slide, do your son a favor by not letting him off easy, and do yourself a favor by parenting the way he needs to be parented. It's a tough thing to do, but it's the right thing to do!
If I were you - he'd pay for the damages, and he'd be attending 4 weeks of AA meetings BEFORE work. I'm sure a good listen to some stories from ladies and gentleman who had killed someone and lived, or who had ruined lives or marriages or families will leave a lasting impression and 4 weeks or so should ensure he hears plenty.