PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY LIFE AS BEING A TRUCK DRIVERS WIFE!
 

MY HUSBAND HAS ONLY BEEN A TRUCK DRIVER FOR 3 MONTHS. I THOUGHT I COULD HANDLE IT BUT THE TRANSITION FEELS TO OVERWHELMING AT TIMES. I JUST WANT TO CRY. I FEEL SO ALONE! I RECENTLY HAD OUR SECOND CHILD. HE IS 3 MONTHS OLD. MY HUSBAND WAS NOT ABLE TO MAKE THE DELIVERY FOR BEING OUT ON THE ROAD. OUR DAUGHTER IS 4. I FOUND THIS SITE LOOKING FOR SUPPORT BECAUSE NONE OF OUR FAMILY KNOWS WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH AND CANNOT GIVE ME THE SUPPORT I NEED. ANY ADVICE ON THINGS I CAN DO TO NOT FEEL SO SAD AND DWELL ON HIM BEING GONE ALL THE TIME?

Hello Goodin4,
What you are feeling is normal. I to went through the same thing when my husband started driving despite the fact that I was raised in the industry. Do you do any hobbies that can keep you busy while your husband is on the road? Keeping busy can sure help pass the time. Things will get easier. Feel free to contact me. I keep my self pretty busy while my husband is on the road feel free to check out my site there is more about me on there. There is also a recipe page on there with a link to my other site that has more recipes. All the recipes can be made either at home or in the truck. Hope this has helped.

Goodin4

There is a support line at www.loads.org that is great. It is a group of driver family members that are or have gone through exactly what you are experiencing. They are very helpful, supportive and will always be there for you. Check them out.

The first few months are the hardest. Give yourself a chance to get through a little further before throwing in the towel.

Good luck to you and your family.

I know exactly how you feel. My husband has been OTR for over 3 years now. At first, I was devestated. I gained over 40 lbs and went into a deep depression. I finally decided to get my life back on track and now I have a job (working from home 90% of the time) and I exercise daily (it helps loads with stress) and I have found that our relationship is better now that we don't see each other that much. I actually like being alone now, per se. It definitely takes some getting used to but try to stick it out a bit longer and get yourself involved with something just for YOU that makes YOU feel good. Take care!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for providing the link for LOADS.org!!

I visit the forum on a daily (if not hourly) basis...since Jim has just left for orientation, this is ALL so new to me and the support has been FANTASTIC!

THANKS!!

Helping hand for truck drivers' wives!
 

I'm starting a networking/support group for the wives of truck drivers across the country. Being a truckers wife is not required to join the group. The only requirement is that you believe in supporting truckdrivers! :D My dad was a truckdriver for many years with CF.

If you are interested - give me a call. The number is toll free.

hello ladies and some fellows i suppose...
ive been on the road, driving a tour bus for a band... ive been doing concerts for 14 years and driving for the band for several years...
my wife and i have been married for 8 years and have a 7 year old son...

to let you know how my wife deals with me being gone for weeks at a time...
once i came home, arrived in my driveway around 3am *morning* to find a roll of carpet in my garage... i was like, what tha? i open my front door to a HUGE surprise... WOOD FLOORS...
my wife had pulled up all the carpet in our living room and had hard wood floors installed...

another time i came home and found my computer room/office, paited and redecorated!!! it was awesome to me...

not long ago i came home to find new floor in our kitchen *looks awesome* and cabinets painted... i was like WOW!!!

i just got home this past weekend to find that our washer and dryer had been sold, and a brand new stackable washer and dryer installed... the living room was in top shape and rearranged from the last time i was home... and the bathroom had been painted with new shower curtains and faucet handles..

my wife is great... she gets her mind off me being away and just fixes broken stuff around the house and paints and so on and so on...

i tell her, i dont care what you do to the house, its all yours... just dont make me paint and im all good... hehehehe

maybe this will help other ladies that get lonley and need to get their mind on other things... plus, with my 7 year old, shes got her hands full tryin to keep him from burning the place down... hehehe

good luck
Tinman

LOCAL DRIVER JOBS ONCE YOU GET THE EXPERIENCE
 

Well there are a lot of good paying local driver jobs out there once you get the experience... I am hoping to do that one day myself.

I understand what you are going through, but remember your husband needs you to be stronger than ever. He has embark on a new job that is very stressfull on a new driver. His mind needs to be at ease so he can fully concentrate on his job. LOADS is a great place to ease your fears and for support.

You get use to it, and you learn to be independant. It 's actually good for the both of you, and you appreciate your time together so much more. I know it's difficult, but life is full of sacrifices, and it will get better.

Hi I am also a wife of a schneider bulk driver he has been driving now for 5 months and it hasnt got any easier i cry all the time we have been together 5 years and married 1 year next week may 13 which he is suppose to come home the 12 for 3 days i just pray he gets home this is so hard this is my 2nd marriage and he is a wounderful man as my 1st marriage was very abusive my husband now is loving and caring but very nice to every one that worries me alot i dream of lot lizards as some of my friends or so called friends say lot lizards ars every truck stop are they please help me get through this as im so depressed and i dont want to lose my new husband he is 50 and i am 39 please any one with advise please talk to me

My wife and I have been married for 25 years and I have traveled much of that time. It was very difficult for her. In recent years, with the advent of cell phones, it has gotten easier. We were able to talk several times a day. We both got the same service and talk for free to each other. She has some health problems and is now traveling with me. I think it is more difficult for the wives and children than it is for the driver. It is a shame that he couldn't find something where he could be home more, especially with small children at home. If he continues to stay on the road he will miss much of their growing up. It can be good for the two of you in some respects. I have known of some couples who feel that they might not have made it without being apart. They have told me that it is like a honeymoon when the driver comes home. These wives learn to be independent and manage the home. It is difficult on both of you. Perhaps you can find some things to enjoy on your own or with friends and when you husband does make it home, you can really appreciate the time you have together. After he gets some experience, maybe he can get something where he can be home more often. Some companies run drivers about 250 miles out and back the same day and are home every night. They usually look for some experience. Good luck. :D

hi-goodn4 --

Well dear, you are feeling what we all have felt one time or another when our men get into their "home on wheels" and left us for a few weeks. I again after 7 years will be torn up here in 3 days but I spend my time trying to think of something special for that 2nd night he pulls back into our driveway. (I always no the 1st is to stretch out and sleep) When the kids were small- just a short nap that day so early to bed with them- then I'd fix a nice dinner for the two of us and the rest of the night was spent as "newlyweds" and each time he comes in I try and make that one night a special night and we have both come to love it. Alot of time we just spend it talking about what the kids said that was "so cute" (I kept a little memo pad) then he tells me where he has been and the things he has seen. It's what you make it...

I hope this has helped you in some little way. Remember, he is out there making a living for his family and you need to be there for his support.
God Bless and Good Night............

I went with Jester for a month OTR. Dispatch kept the miles coming so there was very little idle time. We traveled all along the west coast and north - west areas. While I was on the road with him I saw a total of about 5, with 4 of those 5 being at his home terminal in Dallas. Trust me when I say - ew! From the ones I saw I can honestly say, any man who wants anything to do with "that" isn't a man you would want anyway.

It will get better, just hang in there. :)

I totally agree!!!

Get a camera phone! =) and enjoy the time witch each other when you have time!

A truckers wife...
 

My husband was a live turkey loader before he started driving. He would be gone all hours of the night and come home maybe three or four in the morning smelling just awful!! I knew he wanted to do something else, so I suggested him drive a truck like his dad. He went to the school and got his cdl and has been driving ever since. It was tough at first; he would be gone 4 to 6 weeks at one time. I stayed home and raised our 2 year old while he was out. Our two year old is now an 8 year old, we also have a 5 year old and a beautiful two story house. This was all accomplished since he started driving. Yes it has been hard to take over the years but our marriage is strong and we are very happy. To make things easier, I like to work on any craft I can. If there is something out there I don't know how to do it, I learn it. I write truckers poems as well and have been asked by more than one person to get them published. Maybe if the moderators don't mind, I could post them here. It has helped me to read my own work from time to time. Keep your chin up, hun, cause someone out there is worse off than you are. Never lose your faith that he will always come home. Oh, Lord do they have to come home????

Fact is, yes, I do see them from time to time. But either I sleep through their advances on my truck or they are not at "every truck stop". I'd say that in the past year, I've seen about 3 of them.

You make it pretty obvious that you love him. When ever you get him in your arms, show him. You don't have to say a word, just put your arms around him and show him. If he's got something far better at home than he'll ever find in a truck stop, you won't lose him.

I have a very wonderful wife at home too. I'm out for 30 to 60 days at a time. But, I LIVE for the next time I can be home with her. It's not difficult to compete with them, and you do not have to stoop to their level to do that. When he gets home, show him what he means to you. You'll be fine.

I am listening to the words in this forum. I hear cries for help, the same cries I had as a child. The only thing I hear as encouragement is "It will get better, hang in there". My question is, what will get better and when? Im the daughter of a deceased trucker. He was gone all the time and we were home trying to make the best of thing. It never got better. Yes we pretened as a family that everything was fine. But it really was'nt. Yes when he came home for the couple days or few hours it was great, but just to have your heart broke again as soon as he left. There is only one way to make things better and that is to bring him home, and believe it or not you have the power to bring him home. I wrote a short an article about what it was like being a child of a long haul driver. I would love for you to read it.



www.FreedomProsperity.com

NOW YOU TELL ME THIS IS NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE!!! People like this should be banded from here for taking advantage of emotional depressed just to promote some GET RICH QUIK scheme!!! BOOO!!!

I AM READY TO HAVE A BREAK-DOWN
 

I need advice my husband is still in training and has 2 more weeks to go. My emotions have gone from missing him to dislike. We have a severe lack of trust in our marriage so he accuses me and I accuse him of cheating even though I know he is stuck on a truck and I am home with 3 kids and 1 is medically disabled but I keep hearing rumors from other woman that truckers pick up prostitutes at truck stops. This has been a daily nightmare and I really donot know how to cope and to help him cope with being on the road. The stress is driving me nuts, so I would like to know how has the other truck driver wives delt with this issues?. I also have kept busy with the kids school pto and their extra activities outside of school but I still have to go home and the pain comes back. PLEASE HELP ME!

Trust
 

I'm recently out of school to drive truck I'm a woman. I see these guys at class and they miss home and they miss there wives. Don't think for a minute all guys are the same. They arn't. He is going through alot with learning and being away from his home and family. You need to be strong for yourself and kids and for him. Don't listen to the other lady"s about what they may have heard just love and trust him. He is there for a reason and it isn't for fun or woman it is for you and the kids. Trust me I saw alot while at the school. TRUST AND BELIEVE IN HIM. Not all men are the way other woman run off about. TAKE THIS FROM A LADY. Good luck and hang in there. It will get better.

THANK YOU
 

THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE KIND RESPONSE, I WILL DEFINITELY TAKE THAT MORE IN CONSIDERATION. HE TOOK THE ACCELARATED COURSE AT ROADMASTER AND FROM THERE HAD A BRAKE FOR A WEEK AND THEN STARTED TRAINING FOR WERNER. I HEAR HIS FRUSTRATION BUT I GUESS DIDNOT GRASP WHAT HE IS SAYING. WHAT HE LEARNED IN SCHOOL AND NOTHING LIKE THE HANDS ON TRAINING HE IS LEARNING. IT IS AN ADJUSTMENT AND I AM GLAD OUR KIDS ARE HANDLING BETTER THAN I AM. I FELT BETTER AFTER YOUR ADVICE. IT WILL TAKE TIME BUT I KNOW I CAN GET PAST THIS TRUST ISSUE AND STUFF.

It really does get better. After a while he will have the time under his belt and he will be able to get a job where he is home more often. I can tell you this from my own experiences. I currently work a job that myself and my wife love. I get home as much as she will let me come home, lol, and I make a get check. The way it works for me is that I pull out on Sunday afternoon and I park it on Thursday night while I get home 2 nights out of that time. If my wife would not kill me I could be home every night, but she says that she needs a break from me for a couple days every week. But when I get home on Thursday night we don't do anything, on Friday I use that to run errands or do my honey do list. Friday night on the other the motor oil and spurs come out :twisted: :D :D . Just kidding, but it does really get better.

Re: I AM READY TO HAVE A BREAK-DOWN
 

Hey, don't sweat it. My husband is on his 6th month now and we had some trust issues to begin with b4 he even left and i used to FREAK OUT!!! But things have gotten alot better and they will for you too. I went with my husband over the road all across the country for 30 days and i didn't see any prostitutes or lot lizards to speak of. That doesn't mean they're not out there but believe me, your husband is doing this for you. Plus, they are pretty busy. It's really hard on them too, life on a truck really isn't all that nice. They have to go days w/o a shower and when they do get a shower it's in a truck stop that are not very clean, they have to hold their pee till they almost pee their pants, they long for home, they don't eat very well, sleep very well and they have alot of responsibility out there. And their 1st 6months are very challenging because they are still learning and learning alot. My advice to you is to keep busy and support him as much as you can. The more you accuse him and doubt him while he's out there the more chances there are that he might stray and not look forward to coming home. And stop listening to those other negative women. They are not married to your husband...You are.

Re: I AM READY TO HAVE A BREAK-DOWN
 

How do these other women know that truckers pick up prostitutes at truck stops, unless they were there trying to offer their services themselves? Most of these women are watching too many movies where there are beautiful women in truck stops offering themselves to drivers. Tell them to wake, up those women are in the movies not in real life.

what to do
 

re
 

um I have been driving for over 6 months otr.. .I know not long, however I have yet to see a pretty " lot lizard".. and these days you hardly see any ugly ones. one of the ones I seen was a fat GUY dressed in drag totally disgusting... I think your safe from having your hubby try to get with a lot lizard.

I am new at this too!
 

My husband just started driving (two weeks ago). While he was away at school, I decided not to do anything different. He came home and said, "It's like I wasn't even gone!:" I don't think he liked it. So this time, when he left for 2-3 months, I changed the living room around, so when he comes home for Christmas, I wander what his reaction will be.

This is what makes me crazy!!
 

Hi All,
I wonder if any of you have this problem :) My husband has been a OTR for 8 yrs. When he first left, I had a bit of a time adjusting to becoming the "everything" person. I had to do all the stuff I normally did and now I have to do all the stuff he normally did too. I finally got it all worked out and guess what?? He comes home and tries to jump back into his old routine and really messes me up. LOL I love him more than life but it is almost like moving in with a new person every time he comes home again...

Sounds familiar :lol:

The important thing is to not worry about 'you' when he's there, and focus on him. They put up w/ loads of bs out there- and if doing his old routine at home is what he wants, then let him. He needs a mental break, so be very understanding and supportive. :wink:

Hey there ladies... So my fiance is up in Wisconsin for training for another 2 weeks. The past week has been sooooooohard! I had no idea that I would miss him this much!

Hubby starts truck driving school the 15th
 

hello my name is monica maxson my husband is going to be starting truck driving school here on the 15th.. i am very excited and new to all of this.. he hasnt been hired on yet cause he still needs to take the classes for his cdls.. but i wanted to be a part of this community so that i can get some insite on whats to come next as we take a big leap into the truck driving world. thank you for taking the time to read this.. i hope you all have a great evening/morning.. hope you all have a safe night out on the road.. happy trucking..

New to this
 

I'm new to being a truck drivers wife. Does it get easier? I'm not really use to being away from him now we are apart and I'm a full time mother. Thank you for the help and words of encouragement.

You have to understand that he is trying for you.

The first separation will feel especially painful because you are already used to your partner. Everything around you will remind you of his absence. During this period, it is essential not to make emotional decisions. While your world is painted in black colors, the future will seem unrealistic and meaningless. However, after a few weeks, you will adapt to the new conditions, and the breakup will not seem so difficult. You will get through it :)

I know it's sometimes too hard but you need to keep patient. Try to go to your husband maybe.