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DRIVER HALF-TRUTHS
Here is an opportunity to post some things you have heard drivers say that are not likely the whole story.
One I seem to hear alot is,,,,,, When referring to all the damage on their truck they say, "Oh, it was like that when I got it" |
Anything with the words "US Marshalls" attached to it.
"I told that shipper off" "I told that DOT cop off" "I told dispatch off" "I had my truck in the triple digits" I could go on and on..... |
How about, " I paid cash for my new truck"
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I make good money..cpm
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I post on a Truck message board, because I am a real Trucker. :roll:
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"I'm not really married"
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What did he say
I always run legal
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"I was in the (pick one: a: Special Forces b: Ranger Regiment c: Navy SEALS d: Marine Recon e: super secret paramilitary squirrel organization)"
"The company speed is set at (company speed), but they let me run (number significantly higher than company speed)" "I do this for the freedom" "OTR is great" "I gave up a six figure job to drive a truck" |
"You have to pay your dues and do a year OTR before you can get a local job"
"I hauled a load of HAZMAT ping-pong balls before" :lol: |
Originally Posted by JeffTheTerrible
"I gave up a six figure job to drive a truck" |
Who doesn't? :D
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They just don't tell you where the decimal place was.
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I get 100% of the revenue.
I get 5000 miles a week. I get 8mpg. I get better mileage the faster I go. |
my dispatcher is a great guy and never lies to me
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After someone asks if the scales are open, I always love it when someone gets on the radio and says:
If you ran legal, you wouldn't need to know if the scale is open. |
Originally Posted by Heavy Duty
I get 8mpg.
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Originally Posted by JeffTheTerrible
"I was in the (pick one: a: Special Forces b: Ranger Regiment c: Navy SEALS d: Marine Recon e: super secret paramilitary squirrel organization)"
Dayumm, if that aint' the truth, Jeff!! Strange, how all of the SEALS, Special Forces, Green Berrets, etc. all left the military to drive trucks!!...... and how NONE of the ex-soldiers who were billeting clerks or painters ever became truck drivers!! I knew one driver who was in Army "Special Forces" in Vietnam..... only problem was, he was three years younger than me, and our involvement in "Nam ended when I was about 14 years old!! Here's One: I was hauling a load of classified government freight from Roswell, NM, out to Area 51. I actually got to go inside the space ship that crashed there. The CIA told the owner of my company that they wanted me to haul it because I was a Navy SEAL back when I was in the Armyand so they already knew me. I had The Federal Marshall / FBI / CIA / ..... (or God only knows whoever else!!).... following me, so when I came up on the chicken houses, I just kept on driving. I was doing about 107 in my tripple digit truck, when DOT tried to pull me over, but the Federal Marshall got on the CB and told me to just keep rollin'...... he said he'd take care of that DOT Cop, and not to worry about it. So pretty soon,I had four..... no..... make that SEVEN DOT Cops chasing after me, and when I looked up, I could see that there was a a police helecopter tracking me too. Anyway, the Air Force dispatched one of their Black Helicopters to keep that police helicopter off of my ass..... they told him to get the hell out of there...... by then, I guess those DOT cops got word about who I was, so they just turned off their lights and sirens, and got off at the next exit. They were so happy with me that after I dopped the load out at Area 51, they called the President of my company and told him that they could have the contract to haul those loads as long as I was the one hauling them, but it was going to be any other driver, then they could forget about it!! |
"They blew the ping pong balls in through the vent, and when the DOT cop opened up the trailer, I made him clean up the mess"
"They told me to drive the hazmat load into a lake if there was a problem" |
I failed my drug test because I was at a party at a friend's house, and he put some weed in the brownies and didn't tell me about it.........
Now, I'm gonna' call my congressman, since it is a violation of HIPAA to test me while other drivers are in the room. Oh, BTW, pot has certain medicinal values, and it's really not dangerous like they say it is...... I actually drive BETTER after I've smoked a joint, so please sign my petition to end drug testing..... it's unconstitutional!! |
I know a guy who drives for CR England, and he takes home a couple of thousand a week, after expenses!!
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Sorry, not a driver half truth but a recievers..
You call for directions, and they start to name roads like "Boar Backs Trail", "Spring Valley Rd", "Turn right on County Road 4116. I think it's marked." You ask, "Are all of these roads OK for a tractor trailer to be on?" Receiver: "AHHHH YEAAAAH! You'll have no problem! We get lowboys in here alllll the time." Anytime you hear "We get lowboys in here all the time", expect a very hairy situation, and go into it with extreme caution. Another one is, "Can I make the turn out of this building with this 48' trailer?" "Oh yeah, I have 53 footers in here everyday." Your better off to go look for yourself and assess the situation. People have no problem getting you in a bind. Actually I think they like it. Watching a "big truck" trying to manuever all around their place is like watching a good movie to them. Before you know it, the whole office is watching you with smiles. |
Don't forget,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Back in the day, I drove Portland, Me. to Portland, Or. nonfreaking stop." or,,,,,,,, "I can drive 20-30 hours straight safer than I can 6." |
"My old lady is a doctor...I just do this for something to do."
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Company half truths
We pay detention time.....after truckers that leave the company always want to come back. Its pre loaded. Go see the shipper he may take you early. Just one favor. Your truck will be out of the shop soon. It should be on your pay. I don't recall. We will get ya moving soon. The trailer your waiting will be arriving any minute. There's a drivers shortage. |
Driver half truths
I never or I used to. |
How about,,,,,,,,
I should be home in a couple of days. :lol: :lol: :lol: TW,,,,,,,,, give us a hint on what your signature represents. Something naughty no doubt. |
Originally Posted by Creek Jackson
How about,,,,,,,,
I should be home in a couple of days. :lol: :lol: :lol: No I didn't take two draws. I should be home this week. No I didn't spend any money. That's how much the part costs, really. TW,,,,,,,,, give us a hint on what your signature represents. Something naughty no doubt. :twisted: Did you get that? :D :wink: I'll be nice and give you a hint. It's a list of my random thoughts in acronyms. Welcome. 8) |
Originally Posted by Trukrswyfe
Originally Posted by Creek Jackson
How about,,,,,,,,
I should be home in a couple of days. :lol: :lol: :lol: No I didn't take two draws. I should be home this week. No I didn't spend any money. That's how much the part costs, really. TW,,,,,,,,, give us a hint on what your signature represents. Something naughty no doubt. :twisted: Did you get that? :D :wink: I'll be nice and give you a hint. It's a list of my random thoughts in acronyms. Welcome. 8)[/quote] Oh darn, I forgot we were all alone on this board. Me and my curiosity is US. They would not be single-letter acronyms would they? Huh? |
Originally Posted by Useless
I know a guy who drives for CR England, and he takes home a couple of thousand a week, after expenses!!
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Originally Posted by belpre122
Originally Posted by Useless
I know a guy who drives for CR England, and he takes home a couple of thousand a week, after expenses!!
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Originally Posted by Rev.Vassago
Originally Posted by belpre122
Originally Posted by Useless
I know a guy who drives for CR England, and he takes home a couple of thousand a week, after expenses!!
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Originally Posted by Rev.Vassago
Careful, belpre. The spirit of the DOT regs is haunting your posts! :lol:
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Originally Posted by Trukrswyfe
Originally Posted by Creek Jackson
How about,,,,,,,,
I should be home in a couple of days. :lol: :lol: :lol: No I didn't take two draws. I should be home this week. No I didn't spend any money. That's how much the part costs, really. TW,,,,,,,,, give us a hint on what your signature represents. Something naughty no doubt. :twisted: Did you get that? :D :wink: I'll be nice and give you a hint. It's a list of my random thoughts in acronyms. Welcome. 8) Did feel mighty good Saturday for two awful freaking dull hours. Thank god I freaking pee daily. Pretty close, huh? Cool! |
Originally Posted by Double R
What? DAWN is back? :lol: |
Originally Posted by Rev.Vassago
Originally Posted by Double R
What? DAWN is back? :lol: |
Now................
Back to the topic....... Shippers can't force you leave the property if you run out of hours. That was heard at "The JB HUNT table"(what another driver called them :lol: ) at Johnny's(Pilot) in Clinton,NJ on monday :lol: . |
How about this one.....
and my favorite.... Now, not all of you have spoken these words......but I bet you know some who have. :lol: :lol: |
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Yeah well 8) 8) You forgot some. No, dear this porn tape was my friends, he just left it in my truck with his magazines and a roll of wadded up paper towels. :twisted: Her? She is ugly. I didn't even notice those things right in my face, must have missed um. No those pants don't make your butt look fat:lol: Oh am my all time fav, I just had to pee. :lol: shoot now I forgot one. I just read it for the articles. |
How about....
I aint got no panties on. |
Originally Posted by Rev.Vassago
"I had my truck in the triple digits"
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