SPLITTING
 

-Are you, or have you ever been married?
-Did your marriage wind up on the rocks while you were driving?
-Were you local, regional or OTR?

Wonder what the % marriage failure rate is among truck drivers. I'd guess 70% failure rate in less than 3 years of OTR.

Getting close to my 32nd anniversary! :P

still young and going on a couple years now, at first I drove alot just to keep our businesses floating but it was understood when the babies were born i`d slow down.

i`m through the house a few times a week when i`m running oil field equipment and I try to do as much work in my shop as I can when the wife and kids are sleeping or away etc.

Married, and home time is a major consideration in deciding who I want to lease to, which limits my choices of course. Hoping to find a happy medium between gross revenue and enough home time to keep her happy. Couple nights out per week is about all I would consider doing to her. My wife is from Peru with no family here, no kids, so I can't ask her to sit home alone alot. We depend on each other alot for companionship.

BTW, my present local/regional company job has me out one night per week, occasionally two.

you are a newlywed. my 35th is tommorrow ( Sunday)

I don't think the failure rate of marriages is any higher in trucking than any other profession. My wife and I have been together for more than 31 years. I traveled when we met and still do. I know of others who have not made it. The problem with marriage is that those involved would rather get out of it than work things out. Most problems or difficulties in marriage can be worked out with good communication skills. If you are thinking about getting into this profession, you should sit down with your spouse and have a candid discussion about the demands of trucking and how that may affect your relationship. Most drivers will spend about 2 weeks away from home and then back for a couple of days until you need to leave again. There are a few carriers who try to get their people home weekly. You are still often only home for a day and then need to leave. If your spouse doesn't understand about this lifestyle change, then problems can arise. If your marriage isn't strong, then this business won't help. I have known drivers on both sides. It makes some marriages stronger, others break up. The key is communication.

Married my forst wife while I was driving we got divorced last year. Remarried now and my current wife has always told me if I ever would be able to get my medical qualification back she would support my choice to get back out there on the road. I have a chance at it still. My new neruosurgoen has finally found the spot my Epielpsy comes from and is thinking of removing it next year after my shoulder is healed from the lastest surgery from the last seizure. All goes well 7-8 years from now I WILL BE getting my CDL back via a refresher course and rejoining all of you out there again.

Congratulations! 8)

And I thought this topic was about the split sleeper berth option we have in the US... :oops:

Regarding the topic, been married twice. The "starter" marriage lasted 13 years and the current one is going strong and will be 10 years this June.

I don't do OTR anymore, but I'd definitely have to say the trucking contributed to the downfall of my first marriage. That and not choosing wisely and treating kindly. Probably the best piece of advice I've learned from listening to Dr. Laura. :shock:

thank you

Most of the conversation among truckers is alimony,2nd wife,step children,child support

That may be due to the ones who are OTR and in a successful marriage are not sitting at the counter in the truck stop whining. They are the ones on the phone talking to their loved ones back home.

10/4

I got my cdl the day before we got married 13yrs ago. Has it been easy? Hell no. I started local then went regional then local/regional then longhaul then to the Colorado oil fields now I'm a johnny do it all on a roustabout crew in Sheridan WY, but mostly I run a dozer. The wife is much happier with this job home on the weekends and only 2hrs from the house during the week.

seems like I was off a bit in my 3 year estimate. Looks like things last somewhat longer.

Solo, Fred & Gman are to be commended. Are you guys OTR?

You name it, i got it! :D But, the truth is, i was not, (except few occasions) for the first couple years! :roll:

Most of the time it is not the profession! I think it has alot to do with being your mates friend, communication & give/take!

Been married current wife 15 years and married 12 years!

When you get off the road most your time should be devoted to your family!

I don't know, after 30 years behind the wheel I figure marriage probems for an OTR guy is pretty much the rule
Unless
He is sending home some serious $$$$$

I live in a wealthy area (that is getting wealthier every day)
Every Mon A.M. it is the land of "lost limousines" looking for houses to pick up executives to the airport.
These guys are gone all week because Fri the neighborhood is
loaded with limos again.
These guys are away all week but the wife is pushing a thousand dollar baby carriage and taking tennis lessons and getting fresh flowers delivered.
As long as they can drive their gold Lexus SUV........
And have a "nanny".........

But if you are away from home and you wife has to struggle with bills etc......
Puts a lot of stress on things
There are drivers who like to stay out to avoid the responsibility of being a husband/ parent
They use OTR as an escuse.
Wife has to be both Mother and Father to the kids
It gets old quick
Same old crap
"why can't you get a local job and help me out?"
"You knew OTR was in my blood when you married me.............."

My husband is not a driver. He works in television, talk about divorce rates. He is gone 12-14hr out of the day and has to work weekends, come playoff time forget it. Just coming from someone who is home, it is hard being left alone. I agree with everyone here that it takes a lot of good communication skills to make marriages like this work.

I have accepted the fact he won't be home and I need to take over a lot of the "man" things. I have to play a lot of different roles.
Examples:
I am the "handyman" in the house-
'Mommy/honey this is broken. Can you fix it?'
I am also the IT person
'Honey, the computer______(fill in the blank).'
I am the account.
I call the plumber, oilman, pestcontrol....when things need fixing. I draw the line at plumbing and electrical.

Somtimes I do feel like a single parent. But over the past 7 years, we have learned to talk to each other. I think to make things work in these situations, each person has to be willing to compromise and sometimes make sacrifices for each other. They have to learn to accept each others faults. And they have to know each's limitations. Luckily, for him, it takes a lot before I reach my breaking point.

Just out of idle curiosity mommee....why are you on a trucking forum? An interest in the industry that you and/or your husband have? Perhaps planning to drive in the future? Just wondering is all.... :wink:

geomon-
If you read the post "Someone Says Thank You to the Drivers" on this forum, it sort of explains how I got here. Otherwise it's a long story.

As for a future in trucking, I'm afraid it's very bleak. I am 5ft. and under 100lbs. I don't think I would get very far, let alone see beyond the hood.

My apologies, didn't mean to butt in on you guys.

you are welcome here. he was just wondering like some of the rest of us what brought you here. I think it's good to have an outsiders view point.

It's what Fredog said Mommee...just idle curiosity. I don't drive yet either (tho I did for a few months back in the 70's). I'm still makin hay while the sun is still shining on me in another industry and learning about this one for when I do make the jump. There are non-drivers here as well....so Mommee, you should stay and play with us :)

I've been married two years (2nd time for both of us) and my husband is out during the week and home most weekends. This seems to work well for us because we look forward to seeing each other when the weekend comes but enjoy our brief time apart. He's doing what he loves and I'm doing what I love.

Thanks for the welcome. I'll be around. :D

Welcome Mommee,

I know why you are here besides the original post. In the hours of mommy he hit me, mommy he won't share, mom I need money, help with my homework, Mom can my friend come over, oh then can my friend come over too. Girl I know why you are here and glad to have you. That was a mild first response to your post. My first post here I was told to have my husband tie my mouth shut and throw away the key and if I was good to have my husband let me out if I was good. So their question to you was innocent and decent. I never responded to that post I would have only gotten nasty and I didn't feel like going there. That being said if my mouth was shut well I can still type so not much sense.

Nuff bout me hope you read a lot of the old posts, I have almost ruined my keyboard a few times hillarious stuff. Recommended reading anything by Useless, cluggy, unkut, Mr Beefy, and some others.


Ok sorry for getting off topic, Husband and I married 11,1/2 years trucking has not adversely effected our marriage but husband is looking local so that could change. We will have to get adjusted to that much time together, saddly we are both worried, can you believe that??

Thanks again for the welcome. I realized that after I posted the response, it sounded kind of mean. That's not how I wanted it.

Can you imagine me a trucker? That would be a riot...

Yes, you know where I come from. It's hard on a marriage when one is gone long periods of time. He's not gone for weeks, but it sure feels like it. We say "good morning" and "goodnight".

I find inmate(#whatever) quite amusing myself.

Good luck-rank

Re: SPLITTING
 

Yes, and still am. Well over 25 years now.

No.

OTR and still am.

The divorce rate in trucking is probably no better or worse than any other occupation. Bad marriages fail regardless of what one does for a living.

Re: SPLITTING
 

The divorce rate in trucking is probably no better or worse than any other occupation. Bad marriages fail regardless of what one does for a living.[/quote]

I agree! I know couples that sleep in the same bed every night and do not get alone.

But on the other hand if you truck all the time, hunt all the time, party all the time & etc. and neglect to spend quality time with your family (doing what they want sometimes) you run the risk of losing them.

Mommee: Where I work, we have a husband/wife team where the lady is ALSO very "diminutive." Probably about the same heighth as you and maybe even LESS weight! She drives just like the rest of us!!

Columbias are VERY easy to see over the hood. Not much worse than a minivan!

When I was in driving school.... we had a MAN who fit the description you gave! We all kidded him about needing to tie blocks of wood on his shoes to reach the pedals..... but he was determined, and had a good sense of humor! I'll bet he's STILL driving today!!

I wouldn't necessarily want to be a SOLO driver at your size, although WildKat probably isn't much larger! Teaming gives you some added help when you need it!

I didn't necessarily "get" that you ever WANTED to drive, but if you DO.... don't let your size get in the way! I've seen MANY female drivers not much bigger than you!

And, of course.... you most certainly ARE welcome here! (and on the road!) As long as you add me to your list! :lol:

Oddly enough I have given it some serious thought. Maybe when the kids are off to college and we need to pay tuition. I was going to ask the ladies about driving and my size. But if others can do it...

I am not the office/corporate type. TV is too unpredictable a schedule at this point. We work when everyone else is home.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Maybe I'll see you on the road. I drive up and down I-78 all the time...