Career angst
 

I'm in an interesting position. I lost my driving job of nine years, and spent a month trying to find myself a job as a tech writer. I spent hours and hours on resumes and cover letters and writing samples.

On the same day I got the phone call for an interview at what I thought was my dream job, I got a phone call from a guy I know who needs a driver ASAP.

I've been trying to job that really suits me, not just a job. I took a job driving ready mix just because it was a local job, and I didn't want to go take an east coast OTR job. I haven't been north of the Mason-Dixon line in the 21st century, and I like it that way, but all the freight is up north. I'd rather get paid less and be less stressed out, but it's hard to find anybody who just runs southeast.

So I didn't really want to put in for that concrete job, but I just figured I ought to. It was local. I should have trusted my gut on that one. I hated ready mix. That ain't truckin' folks. On the first day, a couple of the guys told me "Hold onto your Class A," and they were definitely right about that one.

But that doesn't mean I hate driving a big truck down the road. This driving gig is a dedicated day job run that fits comfortably on a logbook, weekends off, 100% no touch. It sounds too good to be true, but the same guy tried to hire me away from my last job a few years ago for a substantially similar deal. It looks like he's pretty good at finding freight like this. (And I'm not telling anybody where or who it is either!!)

On the other hand, I have what I know, versus what I don't. I think I can be a tech writer. I know I can drive a truck. The tech job is only a three month trial contract that could be the start of an $80,000 career, or it could be a total washout. The trucking job is open-ended.

They both pay the same here and now.

It's a hard call. Of course I might not get the writing job at all, but what I have to decide is what to do if they offer it to me.

The thing is at this point I'd really rather just spare myself the bullshit of the whole job interview rigamarole I worked so hard to get to, and take this sweet driving gig, go down the road, and forget about all that other crap.

Am I crazy? I was just on here the other day complaining about how I "just can't go back out there, and I have no career," but if I can split the difference and go back to the kind of part time trucking I've enjoyed my whole career...

I don't know man. I'm confused. Maybe some of those of you out there who have been there can help me figure out what's really in my heart here. Am I just trying to insulate myself from disappointment if I don't get my dream job, or did the dream just evaporate when I started thinking about what "documenting industrial control systems" actually means? It does sound boring.

Kind of like how pouring concrete was to trucking what this job would be to writing. I love writing, but that stuff?

Bah.

I think I have my answer, don't I?

So look for me out there on the road again soon, I think. I'm really looking forward to getting behind the wheel again, jamming the gears, and rolling. Sitting around here a month has driven me nuts.

OK, what is your question?

Good question.

My question:

Why is it that now that I have this thing I have been dreaming about for years almost in the palm of my hand, what I really want to do is drive the truck and not worry about all this crap?

Nobody can answer that but me. I'm wrestling with a lifetime of baggage here. I've been trucking a long time, and wishing I could get out of the truck a long time, but now that I'm almost there, I don't know if I'm scared to do something different, or if I just don't really want to be a "technical writer" except as bragging rights to my friends.

Why don't you do it this way......I just love messing with people (that's why I drive a truck).

Take your dream job...something you always wanted to do. Doesn't pan out in 3 months trucking will still be here.

Me I couldn't be cooped up in a cubicle farm or a room with no windows for 10 hours a day but then that is just me.

Trucking will still be around, the kind of oppurtunity you have in front of you is hard to come by and IMHO you would be somewhat foolish to let it pass by without giving it a shot.

Since you answered my other questions, you may realize GE never called anyway, so it's kind of a moot question.

I'm glad I took the driving job. I can do lots of different things, but I can drive too. I'm pretty good at this, and I can't say I hate it. I know what hating a job feels like after I poured concrete for two incredibly miserable weeks, and driving this T600 on a dedicated 500 mile a day run is not hating life. I get to spend every night at home, and weekends off, and still make more money than I used to hauling sticks, and laying over two or three nights a week. (Though the total working hours are even, or slightly higher over here, and I no longer have Fridays off, which sucks trying to get business done.)

It makes it really hard to lose this to go commuting an hour a day to work in a cubicle farm. The O/O I drive for already has three people who want this job. He gave it to me because I needed a job, and I got a good referral from my old boss. They know each other from way back. That kind of thing can only be cashed in once.

I've about made up my mind that if they do call, they're going to have to offer me an ass pot of money to get me.

I like trucking. Especially in the spring. ESPECIALLY in the spring. This is a fabulous time to be trucking for sure.

(Remind me I said all of this next winter, when I'm bobtailing on ice to get to my trailer to get my JIT load there on time through hundreds of miles of hell. I hate trucking in the winter. I can do it well enough that I'm still sitting here writing, but I hate it.)