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stardust3996
Joined: 28 May 2008
Posts: 18
Location: Mississippi
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 10:45 am Post subject: |
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Ever notice that when you are dating, the guy wants to walk around in the mall with you. After you're married, He absolutely HATES to go to town? :roll:
DON'T TAKE HIM IF HE DOESNT WANT TO GO:
Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to K -Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping
boring and preferred to just get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she
loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter
from her local K-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past 6 months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the women's restroom.
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&M's on lay-by.
September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a
carpeted area.
September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department.
September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it
as a mirror while he picked his nose.
November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.
December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
"Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE
VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least ..
December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here!"
Regards,
K-Mart |
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stardust3996
Joined: 28 May 2008
Posts: 18
Location: Mississippi
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 11:12 am Post subject: |
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A young couple was taking an afternoon nap. After his wife woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?"
"You shall know tonight," he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. She was so excited. Being so delighted, she opened the gift. She found a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."
Sounds about right. :roll: |
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ct77
Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 176
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| Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 9:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Man Stardust I have not laughed that hard in a long time, K mart will never be the same again. |
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