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Trukrswyfe
Joined: 13 Jul 2007
Posts: 2098
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 7:49 am Post subject: Another Blonde Joke |
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> A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come
> over here and help
> me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure
> out how to get
> started.'
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> Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when
> it's finished?'
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> The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box,
> it's a rooster.'
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> Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the
> puzzle.
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> She lets him in and shows him where she has the
> puzzle spread all over
> the table.
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> He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the
> box, then turns to
> her and says,
>
> 'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going
> to be able to
> assemble these pieces into anything resembling a
> rooster.'
>
> He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to
> relax. Let's have a
> nice cup of tea, and then ...' he said with a deep
> sigh, . .. . .. . .
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> 'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'
>
Not sure how old this is. But it's cute. :lol: |
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Drew10
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Posts: 1585
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 4:41 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: Not sure how old this is. But it's cute
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Its old....but...it is a classic, and needs repeated from time to time...
Two Blondes walk into a building.......
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You would think one of them would have seen it!!!! |
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Splitshifter
Joined: 19 Jun 2006
Posts: 644
Location: Right here
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:51 pm Post subject: |
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A car gets a flat on the interstate one day.
The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road,
carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.
She takes out two cardboard men,
unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.
The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers.
Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.
It isn't very long before a police car arrives.
The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde
of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What's going on here?"
"My car broke down, officer" says the woman calmly.
"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures
doing here by the road?" he asks.
"Helllooooooo!!!!" says the blonde.
"Those are my emergency flashers!"
:lol: :twisted: |
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Trukrswyfe
Joined: 13 Jul 2007
Posts: 2098
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| Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 7:58 am Post subject: |
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Splitshifter wrote: A car gets a flat on the interstate one day.
The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road,
carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.
She takes out two cardboard men,
unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.
The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers.
Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.
It isn't very long before a police car arrives.
The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde
of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What's going on here?"
"My car broke down, officer" says the woman calmly.
"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures
doing here by the road?" he asks.
"Helllooooooo!!!!" says the blonde.
"Those are my emergency flashers!"
:lol: :twisted:
Ilikeit..a..lot. :lol: :lol: |
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Twilight Flyer
Joined: 13 Nov 2002
Posts: 5534
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| Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 9:21 am Post subject: |
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Not all blondes are dumb. One that I know of had beaten the stereotype. She was a successful business woman, owned her own company, and drove a flashy car.
As a matter of fact, one sunny afternoon she left work early and jumped in her Corvette convertable and took off down the road, her long blonde hair flowing behind her in the summer wind. She drove out of town and was enjoying her drive down the road, oceans of summer wheat swaying in the breeze on both sides of her.
That's when she saw her...way out in the middle of one of the fields was another blonde...attempting to row a boat across the field. The smart blonde slammed on her brakes and jumped out of the car, clearly angry.
"What the hell are you doing?" she yelled at the blonde in the boat.
"Well, duh," said the other. "I'm rowing my boat across this ocean of wheat! What's it look like?!"
The smart blonde was livid and shook her fist in fury. "You know, it's idiots like you that give us blondes a bad name! Because of people like you, everybody thinks were stupid! And I swear, I'd come out there and teach you a lesson if I could swim!" |
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Jumbo
Joined: 27 Aug 2006
Posts: 771
Location: Northern Wisconsin
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| Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 4:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Another blonde gets tired of all the blonde jokes so she goes to the salon and gets her hair dyed black. She then gets in her car and drives to the country where she passes a farmer standing in a pasture staring at his cows. Sitting beside the farmer is the most beautiful dog the girl has ever seen. She stops and says to the farmer "If I can tell you how many cows you have in the field can I have your dog"? The farmers says "yes". The girl looks for a minute and says "214". The farmer is surprised and says "You are correct". The girl picks up the dog and puts it in the car. As she starts the car the farmer says "Young lady how did you know how many cows I had"? The girls replies "I counted the legs and devided by four" The farmer thens says "Young lady if I guess your real hair color can I have my sheep back"? |
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Drew10
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Posts: 1585
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
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| Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 5:02 pm Post subject: |
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A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus are walking down the street. There is a 5 dollar bill laying on the ground....Which one picks it up?
...............................Highlight....................................................
( Daaaa..The dumb blonde....there is no such thing as the other two ) |
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Trukrswyfe
Joined: 13 Jul 2007
Posts: 2098
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| Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 7:18 am Post subject: |
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Drew10 wrote: A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus are walking down the street. There is a 5 dollar bill laying on the ground....Which one picks it up?
...............................Highlight....................................................
( Daaaa..The dumb blonde....there is no such thing as the other two )
Neither?
:?: :?: :? |
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Drew10
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Posts: 1585
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
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| Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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Trukrswyfe wrote: [
Neither? ......??????.....
:?: :?: :?
Neither. :?: ..there is no neither...there are three smart/dumb/santa
the answer is in the para's. :) ...highlight it. :wink: |
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Trukrswyfe
Joined: 13 Jul 2007
Posts: 2098
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| Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 5:53 pm Post subject: |
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I really should have been born blonde
:lol: :lol: :lol:
But Im not :twisted: :twisted: |
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Drew10
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Posts: 1585
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
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| Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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Trukrswyfe wrote: I really should have been born blonde
:lol: :lol: :lol:
But Im not :twisted: :twisted:
Did you want to be????? :lol: :lol: |
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Trukrswyfe
Joined: 13 Jul 2007
Posts: 2098
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| Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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Thats a yes and no answer. :D
Yes I would like to but, probably if I was one I would want to be brunette again.
Content just as I am. :P |
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Drew10
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Posts: 1585
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
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| Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 6:24 pm Post subject: |
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Trukrswyfe wrote: Thats a yes and no answer. :D
Yes I would like to but, probably if I was one I would want to be brunette again.
Content just as I am. :P
As you should be...... :P :D |
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Trukrswyfe
Joined: 13 Jul 2007
Posts: 2098
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 10:14 am Post subject: |
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| A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blonde is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head st ewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica." |
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stardust3996
Joined: 28 May 2008
Posts: 18
Location: Mississippi
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 7:10 pm Post subject: Uhhhhh. DUH! |
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| It's gonna take me a little while to come up with a good'n. I'll be back in a later. :idea: |
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