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MAD2/MADII · Joined: 12 Nov 2006 Posts: 21

Rearing boys
>
> a) For those with no children - this is totally
> hysterical!
> b) For those who already have children past this
> age, this is hilarious.
> c) For those who have children this age, this is not
> funny.
> d) For those who have children nearing this age,
> this is a warning.
> e) For those who have not yet had children, this is
> birth control.

> Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not
> kidding):

> 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill
> a 2000 sq. ft.
> house 4 inches deep.

> 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
> over them with
> roller blades, they can ignite.

> 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200
> adults in a crowded
> restaurant.

> 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
> motor is not strong
> enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman
> underwear and a Superman
> cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a
> paint can, to spread
> paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

> 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the
> ceiling fan is on. When
> using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the
> ball up a few times
> before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a
> baseball a long way.

> 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
> stop a baseball hit
> by a ceiling fan.

> 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
> oh", it's already
> too late.

> 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
> lots of it.

> 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint
> rock even though a
> 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the
> movies.

> 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
> tract of a 4-year
> old boy.

> 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in
> the same sentence.

> 12.) Super glue is forever.

> 13.) No matter how much J ell-O you put in a
> swimming pool you still
> can't walk on water.

> 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

> 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even
> though TV commercials
> show they do.

> 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

> 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
> driving.

> 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor
> is.

> 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
> plastic toys do not
> like ovens.

> 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a
> 5-minute response time.

> 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
> make earthworms
> dizzy.

> 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

> 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when
> dizzy.

> 24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the
> Clorox and brake
> fluid.

> 25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their
> friends, with or
> without kids.

RebelDarlin · Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 1717 Location: Illinois

I have 2 boys (now 30 and 28 ) but I have seen some of these things, and a few others.

The people at the Poison Control hotline are very nice.
Mr. Yuk DOESN'T WORK!

A few things I had to call about:
An Easter Lily
Birth Control Pills
Blue Rit Dye
Clear Nail Polish
Mr Bubble

The top of the refrigerator is NOT the safest place to put things. Sometimes you need a LOCK-BOX!

The people in the ER have no problem sedating hysterical mothers BEFORE they treat your kid.

After your 3rd visit to the ER expect a visit from Children's Protective Services.

What doesn't kill them (or you) usually leads to a repeat performance with a new twist every time!

mommee · Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 1258 Location: East Coast

RebelDarlin wrote:
What doesn't kill them (or you) usually leads to a repeat performance with a new twist every time!

I am learning this now. He's will be 3 soon and we've already had 2 ER visits. :roll: :wink:

RebelDarlin · Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 1717 Location: Illinois

My oldest had more stitches before he was 2 than I've had in 48 years. While I was in the delivery room having my 2nd son, they called me from the ER beacuse he had fallen "up" the stairs at Grandma's and split his chin open requiring 28 stitches. He also broke his arm at 14 months, that required 10 days in traction before they would cast it. He pulled a dresser drawer out to try to climb the dresser and pulled the whole thing down on himself. I honestly didn't know if either of us would survive his childhood. Now he's 30, and still a little accident prone.

Reb

Oh yeah, if you ask the pharmacist if Ipecac comes in 6 packs, they look at you funny! :wink:

ironeagle2006 · Joined: 29 Sep 2006 Posts: 865

I hear you on that one REB my 4 year old is the same way. I am on a first name basis with my local ER already they know my son is accident prone. He has smashed his head into a 50 inch big screen pulled his dresser down on him multiple times then the best one was shoved a transformer into his NOSE. How he did that one is beyond me.

mommee · Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 1258 Location: East Coast

Wow!! a Transformer. I have to ask, which one? No Transformers here, just Thomas the Tank Engine and Lightning McQueen, which he has to take in the shower with him :roll: What are these kids thinking?

ironeagle2006 · Joined: 29 Sep 2006 Posts: 865

Yeah one of the ones from Burger King last year. He is now told anymore medical bills come out of his Chritsmas fund and he is being a GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD Boy no accidents in 5 months recently.

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