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mommee
Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 1181
Location: East Coast
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| Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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Slimland-
Now I understand what you were saying. I have to admit I had trouble at first, but I get it. All you say are true about how we can show love to one another. I think my husband is getting it slowly. I have told him we are parents, plural. Most of the time I have felt as if I was a single parent. He helps more around the house. I in turn have tried to tell him what a better job he has been doing around the house and kids, etc. |
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Slimland
Joined: 27 Dec 2005
Posts: 1611
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:18 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: for4roses wrote: Slimland if I miss understood you ~ I'm sorry ... it's easy to missunderstand someones thoughts when we have to put it down in words in this cyberworld .............. I knew this didn't sound like the person (you) I thought I knew for quite some time ... guess I'm still a bit bitter about being 'used' by someone I cared deeply for. When I thought I was doing all I could to feed his ego. :wink: ... sorry I missed understood you :) ........... 'friends still I hope' ..
Roses-- A friend Loves at all times.
Yes you missunderstood me, but I even misunderstand myself sometimes.. :?
I dont blame you for being bitter, you stroked this guy's ego, he left, He's stupid. Plan and simple.
You will find someone who realy loves you, and when you do, don't become jaded for what this guy has done to you, Not all men are like that..
I if I wern't married, would take someone who treated me with respect and love over any supermodel anyday.
As we get older our priority's change, we don't seem to look at the outward apearances as much as we used to, we tend to look at the inward. Which is as it should be.. We want the one's who we can joke with, tell our fantasies to without jelousy. A friend who is not only a friend but a lover, and someone who will be thier for better or for worse. No matter.
That person is out there for you, He might not be handsome, but he might. But his personality and love will cover that area.
Slimland |
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Slimland
Joined: 27 Dec 2005
Posts: 1611
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:24 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: mommee wrote: Slimland-
Now I understand what you were saying. I have to admit I had trouble at first, but I get it. All you say are true about how we can show love to one another. I think my husband is getting it slowly. I have told him we are parents, plural. Most of the time I have felt as if I was a single parent. He helps more around the house. I in turn have tried to tell him what a better job he has been doing around the house and kids, etc.
Sometimes I put things where only men can understand, at least that what my wife tells me..
I call it the simple. She tells me it needs to be more complex for women to understand it. :lol:
But I think the Word says it clearly and to the point.
Men LOVE your wife's as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it.
Women Respect your husbands. For Sarah respected Abraham, to the point of calling him lord.
I am not saying you should call your husband lord, that was just the way it was back then. So don't beat me. :shock: :lol: |
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Windwalker
Joined: 22 Oct 2005
Posts: 2822
Location: Holiday, FL
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| Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 4:44 pm Post subject: |
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Slimland wrote: Quote: mommee wrote: Slimland-
Now I understand what you were saying. I have to admit I had trouble at first, but I get it. All you say are true about how we can show love to one another. I think my husband is getting it slowly. I have told him we are parents, plural. Most of the time I have felt as if I was a single parent. He helps more around the house. I in turn have tried to tell him what a better job he has been doing around the house and kids, etc.
Sometimes I put things where only men can understand, at least that what my wife tells me..
I call it the simple. She tells me it needs to be more complex for women to understand it. :lol:
But I think the Word says it clearly and to the point.
Men LOVE your wife's as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it.
Women Respect your husbands. For Sarah respected Abraham, to the point of calling him lord.
I am not saying you should call your husband lord, that was just the way it was back then. So don't beat me. :shock: :lol:
For me, it's really very simple...
A WOMAN IS TO A MAN AS A FLOWER IS TO A WOMAN
Now, watch and see how a woman nurtures her plants in the flower garden. She talks to them, and does her best to give them what they need., And what a woman should be getting from a man sort of parallels that. I do not understand how a man can say he loves a woman, and beat the holy crap out of her. I've yet to see a woman take a WEED-WHACKER to a bed of roses. Yet, husbands and boy-friends seem to be beating up on women all the time.
Did I say boy-friends or boy-fiends??? |
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mommee
Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 1181
Location: East Coast
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| Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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Windwalker wrote:
For me, it's really very simple...
A WOMAN IS TO A MAN AS A FLOWER IS TO A WOMAN
Now, watch and see how a woman nurtures her plants in the flower garden. She talks to them, and does her best to give them what they need., And what a woman should be getting from a man sort of parallels that. I do not understand how a man can say he loves a woman, and beat the holy crap out of her. I've yet to see a woman take a WEED-WHACKER to a bed of roses. Yet, husbands and boy-friends seem to be beating up on women all the time.
Did I say boy-friends or boy-fiends???
From what I understand, when a man beats his 'other', it's about power. He feels inferior in some way, so he has to make himself feel superior. By beating his wife/GF, he then feels better because someone else is weaker than he is. |
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Double L
Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Posts: 1039
Location: Southern Illinois
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| Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 7:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Windwalker don't forget that domestic abuse can be caused by women hitting men too, So it works both ways! |
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4roses
Joined: 28 Aug 2004
Posts: 2010
Location: BrokenArrow, Oklahoma
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| Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 8:48 pm Post subject: |
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Windwalker Quote: A WOMAN IS TO A MAN AS A FLOWER IS TO A WOMAN
That was simply the most beautiful way of expressing it. Love it :wink: |
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Windwalker
Joined: 22 Oct 2005
Posts: 2822
Location: Holiday, FL
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| Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 5:23 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks, Roses. I can't take credit for that as my own. It was something I heard from my father many years ago. Something I never forgot.
But, I also have another thought for all of you.
Even if you have not been married, you've very likely been to a wedding in church. Do you remember the wording of the vows, word for word?
The man's vow says: "LOVE, HONOR, AND CHERISH."
The woman's vow says: "LOVE HONOR AND OBEY."
Now, I'll grant you that a lot of men do not manage to keep that "CHERISH" thing for a lifetime, but tell me just how many women do not manage to keep the "OBEY" thing going through their wedding day?
Now, when my wife and I got married, there was no "OBEY" in either of our vows, and so neither of us has to obey the other, but we don't seem to have any problem keeping going with the "CHERISH" thing.
Another thing I've found. My wife is not perfect, and neither am I. But, she's smart enough to know her faults. Lord knows, the guys she's been married to in the past reminded her of them often enough. I don't have to. I simply concentrate on her GOOD QUALITIES, and I'm not even going to try to list them here. But, it makes the marriage work a whole lot better, and she feels so much better about herself, that... Well.... It's almost like "STROKING" my ego almost seems to come naturally to her too. If you don't concentrate on your spouse's faults so much, you have more time to discover more of the good qualities. And it does FAR MORE good. |
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Drew10
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Posts: 1585
Location: 0001 Cemetery Lane
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| Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 7:23 pm Post subject: |
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Alright Windwalker, your making the rest of us (men) look bad. :P
Honestly, though, sounds like you and yours have a great marriage, and you seem to hold the "key" to what really makes a marriage work. Keep up the good work. :) |
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Slimland
Joined: 27 Dec 2005
Posts: 1611
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 8:47 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: Windwalker wrote: Thanks, Roses. I can't take credit for that as my own. It was something I heard from my father many years ago. Something I never forgot.
But, I also have another thought for all of you.
Even if you have not been married, you've very likely been to a wedding in church. Do you remember the wording of the vows, word for word?
The man's vow says: "LOVE, HONOR, AND CHERISH."
The woman's vow says: "LOVE HONOR AND OBEY."
Now, I'll grant you that a lot of men do not manage to keep that "CHERISH" thing for a lifetime, but tell me just how many women do not manage to keep the "OBEY" thing going through their wedding day?
Now, when my wife and I got married, there was no "OBEY" in either of our vows, and so neither of us has to obey the other, but we don't seem to have any problem keeping going with the "CHERISH" thing.
Another thing I've found. My wife is not perfect, and neither am I. But, she's smart enough to know her faults. Lord knows, the guys she's been married to in the past reminded her of them often enough. I don't have to. I simply concentrate on her GOOD QUALITIES, and I'm not even going to try to list them here. But, it makes the marriage work a whole lot better, and she feels so much better about herself, that... Well.... It's almost like "STROKING" my ego almost seems to come naturally to her too. If you don't concentrate on your spouse's faults so much, you have more time to discover more of the good qualities. And it does FAR MORE good.
This is spoken with great insight and is the Truth , well done WindWalker. |
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Windwalker
Joined: 22 Oct 2005
Posts: 2822
Location: Holiday, FL
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| Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 8:31 am Post subject: |
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mommee wrote: From what I understand, when a man beats his 'other', it's about power. He feels inferior in some way, so he has to make himself feel superior. By beating his wife/GF, he then feels better because someone else is weaker than he is.
Now, there again. Superior... Infurior... How about, think of it as an equal and complimentary PARTNERSHIP. She has certain talents that she can do better, and he has talents that he can do better. They may overlap, but not all are the same. Ever see, or hear of, a man giving birth to a baby? Or how about a woman getting anybody else pregnant? Without the two of them getting together, there would be no kids and no future.
She cooks and I fix the car. She's working with the grandkids, I do the cooking. (And, the grandkids like my cooking better. So what.) But, you should see when I try my hand at knitting... The cat does a better job with the ball of yarn. The guys have tp accept the fact that there are some areas where the woman will excell. In other areas, the man will excell. Just the way of nature.
So, SUPERIOR? IN WHAT? Brute force? All he has to do is stand next to the woman to prove that. That might have meant something back when they used logs for wheels and mastadons to pull it, instead of 18-wheelers, but not today.
Let me know when you see a woman take a WEED-WHACKER to her rose garden. Unless she's coming after him with a gun or a knife, that's how often a man should hit a woman. It's as simple as that. |
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roadhog
Joined: 16 Sep 2005
Posts: 4133
Location: Upper Lower Michigan...he heeeeeeeeee
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| Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 9:03 am Post subject: |
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I've had plenty of weed wacker attacks.
I have mated up with Barracudas more than once. I am more attracted to the too hot to handle type. So, I am not complaining, but let me tell you, ladies I have known can be just as aggressive as any man.
One example, she was a very gorgeous hot-blooded Greek. Her name was even exotic... Zaharula. Oh, man, I still stand in awe of this woman. But she was so fiery, she would make most Italian, or Spanish wimmin seem like a cow chewing her cud.
I finally dumped her, because her drama was escalating into defcon 1. Actually, I think I dumped her a couple times earlier and allowed her back if she'd control herself somewhat. Anyway, the last time I dumped her, she came back on my birthday, and I entertained her as a gentleman, but kept telling her no, sorry, it's over. She gave me a birthday present, and insisted, when I said I didn't want to lead her on, by accepting any gift. I graciously accepted finally, and once I did, and still refused to take her back... I was a dead man. She destroyed the gift, then started in on me, and busted up some more of my things, and I tried to control her, and she got more violent, taking gouges of flesh off my face with those once beautiful ass scratching nails, beating my chest with her fists and lit my hair on fire. :shock:
I go the hell out of there, and stood outside, as she then took my guitar and used it to smash up the rest of my stuff. Well, long story short, it was the last time I opened my door to her. She did do all my friends in a final effort to hurt me, but it actually made me more popular with my Bro's. :lol:
I seem to find these wimmin, and frankly think God bless them. It's worth the loss of blood. 8) |
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mommee
Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 1181
Location: East Coast
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| Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 10:23 am Post subject: |
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Windwalker wrote: mommee wrote: From what I understand, when a man beats his 'other', it's about power. He feels inferior in some way, so he has to make himself feel superior. By beating his wife/GF, he then feels better because someone else is weaker than he is.
Now, there again. Superior... Infurior... How about, think of it as an equal and complimentary PARTNERSHIP. She has certain talents that she can do better, and he has talents that he can do better. They may overlap, but not all are the same. Ever see, or hear of, a man giving birth to a baby? Or how about a woman getting anybody else pregnant? Without the two of them getting together, there would be no kids and no future.
She cooks and I fix the car. She's working with the grandkids, I do the cooking. (And, the grandkids like my cooking better. So what.) But, you should see when I try my hand at knitting... The cat does a better job with the ball of yarn. The guys have tp accept the fact that there are some areas where the woman will excell. In other areas, the man will excell. Just the way of nature.
So, SUPERIOR? IN WHAT? Brute force? All he has to do is stand next to the woman to prove that. That might have meant something back when they used logs for wheels and mastadons to pull it, instead of 18-wheelers, but not today.
Let me know when you see a woman take a WEED-WHACKER to her rose garden. Unless she's coming after him with a gun or a knife, that's how often a man should hit a woman. It's as simple as that.
I think you misunderstood me. Men and women in these types of relationships aren't "normal". He will seek out the weaker women, who have low self worth. She is usually attracted to these type of men because they seem strong. These people have issues. It's a vicious cycle in abuse. There is no complimentary relationship in that situation. I hope I cleared things up.
You and your wife seem to have a balanced relationship, which we all strive for. |
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Double L
Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Posts: 1039
Location: Southern Illinois
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| Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 3:36 pm Post subject: |
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roadhog wrote: I've had plenty of weed wacker attacks.
I have mated up with Barracudas more than once. I am more attracted to the too hot to handle type. So, I am not complaining, but let me tell you, ladies I have known can be just as aggressive as any man.
One example, she was a very gorgeous hot-blooded Greek. Her name was even exotic... Zaharula. Oh, man, I still stand in awe of this woman. But she was so fiery, she would make most Italian, or Spanish wimmin seem like a cow chewing her cud.
I finally dumped her, because her drama was escalating into defcon 1. Actually, I think I dumped her a couple times earlier and allowed her back if she'd control herself somewhat. Anyway, the last time I dumped her, she came back on my birthday, and I entertained her as a gentleman, but kept telling her no, sorry, it's over. She gave me a birthday present, and insisted, when I said I didn't want to lead her on, by accepting any gift. I graciously accepted finally, and once I did, and still refused to take her back... I was a dead man. She destroyed the gift, then started in on me, and busted up some more of my things, and I tried to control her, and she got more violent, taking gouges of flesh off my face with those once beautiful ass scratching nails, beating my chest with her fists and lit my hair on fire. :shock:
I go the hell out of there, and stood outside, as she then took my guitar and used it to smash up the rest of my stuff. Well, long story short, it was the last time I opened my door to her. She did do all my friends in a final effort to hurt me, but it actually made me more popular with my Bro's. :lol:
I seem to find these wimmin, and frankly think God bless them. It's worth the loss of blood. 8)
Damn it boy!! |
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roadhog
Joined: 16 Sep 2005
Posts: 4133
Location: Upper Lower Michigan...he heeeeeeeeee
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| Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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Double L wrote: Damn it boy!!
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