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truckerslady
Joined: 04 Jun 2007
Posts: 32
Location: West Virginia
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| Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 7:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Ok I tried to PM you but it said that I have less then 50 posts and wouldn't let me. So I added my MSN addy, e-mail me or add me to your IM. |
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BookBimbo
Joined: 14 Oct 2005
Posts: 34
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| Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 5:53 am Post subject: |
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Rev.Vassago wrote: RiverCritter wrote: Relying on an anonymous internet forum is unrealistic... but I agree that it's kinda disappointing here.
Can I ask a question? What is the point of going somewhere that will simply sugar coat everything? Wouldn't it be better to stick to a forum that is gonna give you the honest truth, good or bad? Perhaps the reason the original poster is getting discouraged is because she SHOULD be getting discouraged. As I said already, the truth hurts sometimes.
Something that the original poster stated was that there weren't jobs around that paid more than $12.00 an hour. I hate to break this to you, but neither does trucking. The only difference is that you're putting in a lot more hours. It would be like getting 2 jobs that pay $12.00 an hour, except that way he could sleep in his own bed at night. This industry eats up and spits out families on a daily basis. Now if you want someone to sugar coat it and pretend it's different, then no - this isn't the place for you. But if you want the truth, then perhaps it's time to start listening.
Just sayin'.
I question that as well as I read the posts on the various forums for wives. Most of them don't sugar coat the facts about the industry, rather they provide a lot of, "Oh you poor baby!" support. They usually have policies that prohibit posters from informing someone that they're an idiot, or calling them out when they do something stupid, so a person can receive a lot of (at times unwarranted) encouragement. Their members are women who all have at least one thing in common, they're the wife or girlfriend of a truck driver. At times it's a case of misery loves company, although most of the posts have nothing to do with trucking at all, but when someone does have an issue with their child or car, everyone there knows that the answer can never be, "Let your husband deal with it." because we all know that that just isn't possible in most situations. |
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Ridge Runner
Joined: 18 Oct 2004
Posts: 2529
Location: North Ga.
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| Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 7:57 am Post subject: Re: Am I the only one gettting discouraged with this forum? |
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mighty3 wrote: I have been reading this forum looking for some positive comments, support or encouragement regarding a husband starting a trucking career. I have noticed many negative posts, i.e "why would your husband start such a career?", "it's not worth it" etc. My husband and I live in a town with no jobs that pay over 12.00 an hour. The cost of living has gone through the roof here and the construction industry which my husband was in, tanked completely. He is in his first day of orientation with Transam and we know what a sacrifce this will be, but we are hoping that with a year or so of "sacrifice", he can move into a regional or dedicated route. We knew going into this that it wasn't going to be easy. It's going to be very hard on him being away from me and our daughter, but we didn't have a lot of options. I hope to talk to some people who have successfully combined a family and a trucking career. I need to stay positive to stay sane!
Quote: I really appreciate you all taking the time to write me and for the wonderful tips. My husband and I have been together for 25 years and have weathered many storms so we can really survive anything including being apart for weeks at a time. We each have cell phone with family talk and we have been talking a lot which helps. I'm really used to doing everything myself (women, you can relate), so that won't really change. I have 3 big dogs and live in a safe neighborhood. I have a great job and good friends and family close by. My husband is in his 4th day of orientation at TA. His trainer was supposed to pick him yesterday, but never made it. My husband also picked Transam to work for because they have automatic trucks. Guess what kind of truck the trainer has? A super 10! Oh, well, it will be good experience. If anyone else has gone through training or works for Transam (other than Maddi's wife) I would love to hear from you. Thanks again!
Notice anything different in these two posts? I think the second one is more who you really are. It didn't take much for the REAL you to come out. You guys sound like you are the kind of people that have your act together and know how to make things work even when things don't go the way you plan.
Good luck to you,
Ridge |
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Shawnee
Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Posts: 246
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 5:15 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't understand this, when someone posts something you don't like you call it being negitive. Maybe we should all just start agreeing with everything that everyone posts, Don't ask for someones opinion if you aren't prepared to hear the truth, most of these people on here are quite experienced in this field and know what they are talking about. |
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truckerwife
Joined: 22 Jun 2007
Posts: 9
Location: Michigan
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:01 am Post subject: |
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I have lurked on this site for quite some time but am new to posting and wanted to put my 2 cents in. ;)
I will say that I do belong to one of the "other" trucker wife support forums that was mentioned by bookbimbo and will say this...
Giving support I believe in a trucking family support forum is just that...giving support and advice. It has everything to do with how you word your posts. I am one of these posters who will NOT sugar coat. The difference from my posts and ones I see everywhere else is how I word things. At the site I belong to, when I see other women sugar coating, I usually come in and give it to them straight however, I am never as brutal as some of the posts I have seen here and other sites. I have had women who have thanked me for my honest advice and not bash them for posting a whine, complaint, ect. Keep in mind...women who are new in this industry usually come in and have no clue about the trucking industry. All they know is what the company has promised their husbands and a lot of times those promises are usually broken which ends to frustration, hopelessness, and fear of the unknown. I think a lot of us forget that we were once a newbie and the ones who have been in this industry for a long time, tend to forget what it's like to be new that they tend to lack sensitivity. You can simply make your point, without sugar coating anything, but yet, be respectful.
I do admit though that seeing the same type of posts from newbies get old after awhile BUT....that is why there are forums like these. Women search for support and when they come in and read all the "trucking CB drama", it's like a let down because they come in for support. Not sarcasm, ..but true advice and done respectively. There are the few that no matter what you say, will take it the wrong way and that is ALL they want to hear is someone sugar coat everything and want everyone to "agree" with them ( this happened not to long ago...in fact...the woman was mad at the advice she got here...went to our site...I put my 2 cents in...she didn't like it...and left the forums entirely. But, those type of people are few and far between)
IMO, this site is actually mild compared to some of the "other" sites I have come across while searching for different things. I just avoid those at all cost :wink:
Anyway...my point is...it's all about how you word things but yet, be truthful and honest about the industry. |
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Truckfam
Joined: 08 Jun 2006
Posts: 166
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:14 pm Post subject: |
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Yep, I can say trucking is working for my family. I have to admit that we have had a rocky relationship, but we always trusted each other though. If you don't have a solid trust for each other, it won't work.
Our relatonship has actually gotten alot better. When he comes home, he is usually out the door when he starts to get irritated and starts to comment about what I do and don't do that needs to be done. Actually those comments have bees starting to become less and less frequent. I could see where it would be more difficult with a relationship that was very good, and you don't want him there 24/7.
The other poster mentioned about the love side of the relationsip. All I can say is that you might want to think about a small $12 bullet/egg vibe at one of those "speciality stores". My husband told me that he rather have me have one of those instead of even thinking about other possibilities. He sorta has an equvilant for him. Mutual agreement. It only tides one over until your husband the real thing gets home.
As far as what the company tells your husband, don't believe them. There are always some type of catch to the bonuses, and the miles he was told may or may not be there. One thing I found out is usually the less a company is talked about and the harder it is to find information about, the better that company is. Those are usually smaller companies than the large ones such as swift, werner, crest, JB hunt, and ect.
Training pay and first year pay sucks pretty much. It will get better. Much better, especially after he gets some experience behind him and can move to a better company that pays more.
I'll give you one of the worst case secnorios - my own examples. After my husband drove 7 years as a school bus driver and never making enough to make ends meet. He finally gets fired, thank you Jesus. He was scared to quit before. He goes to school and gets his class A.
He started working for transport america. I don't have anything nice to say about them. Pay was like $300 a week with trainer. His first trainer was extremely bad, and decided to lie for us to the company. My husband was sick, and I called the trainer first letting him know hubby would not be able to go out. The trainer told me not to worry, and that he would call the company for me. We caught him in that lie though. My husband was in the hospital when the trainer said he refused to get on the truck with him. After that he got a very good trainer, but only survived for two months. They put three things on his DAC, which really shouldn't have been there.
If you don't know yet, DAC is the drivers credit report. Anything a company deems fit to put on, they will from getting stuck in the mud to having a roll over. Even if the things on the DAC are not really worth reporting such as accidently forgetting to remove a block to keep the truck from moving, and running over it. Well those will all count against the driver. Most companies will say they look into it, and then make a determation. Others will just look at how many and say next. That is basically what happened to my hubby.
About three months later he got a local job. After a year he lost his job. He was unemployed for six months. He had temp jobs here and there.
Then he finally had a break through. There were two companies willing to hire him. The one was a larger company. I was so scared that neither company would hire him, I basically told him if he gets the job with the larger co to go with it. Well it turned out that at the third day of orientation, they decided to lower the pay that was quoted to him originally, and have him go out with a trainer for three weeks. There were other things going on my husband didn't like. I was still with the mentality of him sticking with it. The company told him he had a choice to go with the trainer, or go home. Since they changed what was told him, they would pay the bus fair back, and it would have no affect on him. He chose to leave.
I was mad at the time, but am now extremely glad he decided to leave. He got a job with the other smaller co. I'm not going to ruin anything now by mentioning the name. He started 5 cpm a mile more putting us in the low 30's. He had three incidents in a short time that another larger co would have fired him for already. The worst was bridging the trailer on a Chicago tunnel. The tunnel was clearly marked, and it wasen't until the end of the tunnel that the road had just enough of a bump that he couldn't get through without hitting something. He was already in the middle of the tunnel, which was tight in the first place. He didn't have room to move to avoid.
He had to get the corner patched, until they could get it in for proper repairs. Could have been much worse though. I think he was just a little rusty when he started back.
He has been there since near the beginning of the year. He is basically happy with the company. The company still seems to be happy with him. They had him up to Canada, and over to California. They don't have too many California runs though. They mainly stay over to the east, which he is fine with. He was complaining about the Arzonia heat while he was in that state.
As far as the money goes, it does help that I live in a low income area. One of the sweetest experiences I have had recently that haven't had since our nine years of marriage is that I now have more than enough money to pay the bills. Just today I was able to pay off an old debt we owed finally. I actually have a savings account with a little built up. I paid to have our van fixed with money instead of credit. I'm finally able to have a tooth that has been bothering me pulled not this Thrusday, but next Thrudsay.
For us the money is getting better. His future looks bright, as long as he keeps his nose clean.
Must haves have already been said, but will repeat:
1) Cell Phone
2) Cooler
3) Cooker/warmer and loaf pans
4) CB or XM radio to find out the weather
5) At least two weeks worth of food and clothes
6) A container or two for smaller necessities. A zip bag or other container to keep reciepts in that can be used for tax purposes.
7) A jar for change
8) This will only work with a bank where you can check the balance online, and allows you to see all of your accounts and transfer money between accounts in a split second. It is also better if the bank does the transactions quickly at any time of the day, and the money is automatically in the other account to use.
To give him his own bank account with his own debit card. You can transfer money to it from your main account. He won't have to worry about checks, and knows exactly how much he has to spend. It also helps when he needs an emergancy $20 or $30 for tolls. The company he works for re-imburses for tolls.
9) Some type of camera either a disposable, or one you can have film developed. So he can take pictures incase he is in an accident, or someone backs into him
10) TV/vcr to help keep him entertained and/or
11) Lap Top if you can afford one
If he can get online with wireless, then he can do many things online. I think he may even be able to pick up some internet TV. My husband has a wireless card and can pick up free wireless, but it is spotty.
He has two programs that do cost, but help him greatly. Drivers Daily Log, and truck miles. Drivers Daily Log is a ligetimate program that some companies actually allow their drivers use for the company logs. My husband uses it to help him figure out his logs, and make sure he is not in violation. Truck miles with streets helps him find the best truck route to take.
Other than that, he has his favorite games, real arcade, Vongo, and etc.
Vongo is hosted by the stars channel. Some like it, and some don't. It has older movies, but you can down load them to your computer. They will stay there until they expire from Vongo. My husband can download movies from home, and watch them while out on the road.
This is something you can do with the kids. Get a large street map of the US, and hang it on the wall. Keep track of where he goes, and mark those places on the map. Your kids also get to learn US geography at the same time. I have them find the state, and then help them find the city.
Basically it is up to you on how this works. Don't worry, panick, agonize, feel sorry for your self, get depressed because he isn't there, and everything will be fine. Find things to do. Do things you always wanted to, but never did because you thought he wouldn't like to do those things. Have a hobby that you put off, because you felt you didn't have time or he wouldn't be interested in. Now is the perfect time to get back into it. Rent movies you always been wanting to watch, but never got around to. Get out, go do something, and have fun.
I never use to like to drive, but now I'm driving to various places. Then again you may be more like me. I like to hang around home, and sit in front of the computer being lazy. :twisted: My husband never liked that. I'm ok, as long as this place is a little cleaner than before he left. Unless I had a cold like I just did. A two week cold with a menstral cycle. UGH... :evil:
From here on in, always try to think positivly even if things don't seem like they are going well. Like when I just about had a conption fit because my husband walked away from USA truck. Yet, that was the best thing he could have ever done.
If you think positivly, your mind will show you in many different ways how your life is positive, and many different reasons to be grateful. If you think negative, your mind will take you on a wild roller coaster ride to the brink of insanity and break down. It will show you all the ways your life is miserable and wreched, and then even invent more ways until your totally depressed. Then when positive things do happen, you will only be able to see them in a negative light. You will start to think your life is miserable and nothing positive ever happens.
Don't let that happen to you. The best way to defeat that type of thinking is to find something positive even in the worst situation. Yes, I know it is a Pollyanna attitude, but it can save you from a mental break down litterally.
It is much better to think more positively than negatively. In a weird way, when I think more positively about things even negative things, it seems that more positive situations come my way or appear in front of me. If I think negativly, then things seem to go from bad to worse to worse, until it seems like my life is all but one big mess that I wish I wasen't living in any longer.
It takes alot more effort to climb your way out of thinking negatively to thinking positively, than it does to slide down from thinking positive to thinking negatively. That is what you want, need, and have to avoid if your family is going to hold together.
One final thought. The most important thing you can do is to keep the lines of communication open day and night. Make sure you both understand each other before hanging up. If either of you needs to hang up, let the other person know that there will be a call back to finish the conversation. Make sure you call back, even if he was suppose to. It will be more easier for him to forget to call you back than it will be for you to forget to call him back. Remember he is out there thinking about you and the kids as much as you and the kids are thinking about him.
Be blessed, and stay safe. |
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Truckfam
Joined: 08 Jun 2006
Posts: 166
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:15 pm Post subject: |
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| PS. Someone remind me not to write such long posts anymore. :roll: :shock: :? :oops: |
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yoopr
Joined: 01 Dec 2004
Posts: 12865
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Don't write such long posts anymore lmao |
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Truckfam
Joined: 08 Jun 2006
Posts: 166
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Thanks yooper, but you have to get me before I start a long post somehow. :twisted: Seriously, I think I need more outside social interaction. That is when I tend to write such long posts. Just want to be chatty. :roll: |
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mighty3
Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 43
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| Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 3:40 pm Post subject: Update |
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| It will be 3 weeks on Sunday since my husband started with Transam. Home life has been great, I even mowed the lawn, very empowering! I can come and go as I please, eat a bowl of cereal for dinner if I want, and if I don't feel like cleaning the house on my day off, I don't. My husband had an incident already. His trailer clipped another trucks cab in a truck stop. He was pretty upset and thought for sure he was going to get fired. So far he's still driving. He has a good trainer, they get along really well and he is getting a lot of driving time. We are both realists and thanks to the honesty of this web site, we are prepared for anything at this point. I'll let you know how everything goes once he takes his final road test and gets his own truck. Thanks for all the tips, advice and counsel. You guys are great! |
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BookBimbo
Joined: 14 Oct 2005
Posts: 34
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| Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 5:47 pm Post subject: Re: Update |
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mighty3 wrote: It will be 3 weeks on Sunday since my husband started with Transam. Home life has been great, I even mowed the lawn, very empowering! I can come and go as I please, eat a bowl of cereal for dinner if I want, and if I don't feel like cleaning the house on my day off, I don't. My husband had an incident already. His trailer clipped another trucks cab in a truck stop. He was pretty upset and thought for sure he was going to get fired. So far he's still driving. He has a good trainer, they get along really well and he is getting a lot of driving time. We are both realists and thanks to the honesty of this web site, we are prepared for anything at this point. I'll let you know how everything goes once he takes his final road test and gets his own truck. Thanks for all the tips, advice and counsel. You guys are great!
Good luck to him on his test, and congratulations to you for handling things so well! |
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Truckfam
Joined: 08 Jun 2006
Posts: 166
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| Posted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 12:01 pm Post subject: Re: Update |
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mighty3 wrote: It will be 3 weeks on Sunday since my husband started with Transam. Home life has been great, I even mowed the lawn, very empowering! I can come and go as I please, eat a bowl of cereal for dinner if I want, and if I don't feel like cleaning the house on my day off, I don't. My husband had an incident already. His trailer clipped another trucks cab in a truck stop. He was pretty upset and thought for sure he was going to get fired. So far he's still driving. He has a good trainer, they get along really well and he is getting a lot of driving time. We are both realists and thanks to the honesty of this web site, we are prepared for anything at this point. I'll let you know how everything goes once he takes his final road test and gets his own truck. Thanks for all the tips, advice and counsel. You guys are great!
Feels nice doesn't it? Just remember to have everything clean for when he gets home though. My hubby is more than likely getting home sometime this weekend or home for the 4th. Everything is a disaster since I have been sick with my menstral cycle. I'm somewhat in panic mode. Don't feel like going anywhere, but have to take the kids to the library today.
I don't know if that incident will be counted against him, since he still is in training. The only way to really tell is for your husband to get a copy of his Dac report. I really wouldn't worry about it at this point in time, since he is still driving. I think they expect some mistakes while training though. Truck stops can be extremely tight.
I just hope he learns not to do any turn arounds on a lot that looks like it even might be muddy, especially if it is not at the shipper or reciever. That is where my hubby got into trouble. He had to trun around, saw a place that wasen't an official trun around spot. He saw that other trucks turned around there from the tire marks. Well, he got stuck, and it turned out to be private property. The owner was just looking to catch a trucker turning around there. |
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LadyRebel
Joined: 03 Sep 2007
Posts: 5
Location: on the road
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| Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:39 pm Post subject: |
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Mighty3
i think i understand what your trying to say. I have gotten the same thing on another forum (i refuse to say the name) when my husband came off the road and is now getting ready to go back on the road as there are no jobs that he could work here that will make ends meet let alone ones that will let us get ahead a little bit. we would both have to work 2 full time jobs and still couldn't cover child care for our young daughter. Neither one of us really want him on the road otr being gone for 4 weeks at a time but we look at it as that's the only way to be able to get ahead by living here in this town and that's really all we can do. he and i both want to give our daughter the things that we didn't have and when she is old enough she will ride sometimes with mommy and daddy in the truck so she can see what daddy does to make sure she has what she wants. I totally understand where your coming from but you have to also understand that a lot of people have been in this life for a while and try to help people see the drawbacks of it before getting in so that they are ready for what comes along. feel free to contact me if you want to talk. I have no problem chatting with ya whenever. i hope things start getting better for ya'll and hopefully you won't go through lots of the hell that i have heard about and also dealt a little bit with. |
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