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geeshock · Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 350 Location: Hertford, NC

me and my wife were the same. We had to sorta get used to the lifestyle. In the begining of our marrage I would have never started trucking. As a mater of fact she mentioned it in the begining and I said no. After 8 years of marrage and the bottom falling out from my other job I decidded to give it a try. It was realy rocky in the beginning. And when I didn't make it home for our aniversery she got realy upset. Just remember, there is no garuntee on hometime in this industry and unless you drive close to home, no specific date usualy. I've lucked out once and a while. Just keep in contact as much as you can. I'm not one that beleaves in talking on the phone while driving but I have a hands free just so I can call speradicaly throughout the day and remind her that I'm thinking of her. Might not be as fesable in training but try and keep communications open. That has been the key for us.

~Red~ · Joined: 18 Dec 2006 Posts: 9

Well now were havingto deal with our frist christmas alone his company gave them a load yesterday(sat) from gary indiana to LA and they want it there monday. It's really a job for a team not solo drivers but his company doesn't seem to get that.

Shawnee · Joined: 05 Nov 2006 Posts: 246 Location: Canada

I talked to my mother about this since my father was a truck driver for almost 30 years and she said that the most important thing is to have trust, she said that if she sat at home and worried all the time it would have made her sick, she kept busy with us kids and around the house, this was back in the days before cell phones and laptops, so she had to make due with weekly phone calls from dad from a pay phone,

it is very hard on a young family, but she always stayed strong for us kids, we never ever saw her crying, my dad was often gone weeks at a time, and sometimes dad would have to be away on a certain holiday so we would celebrate on a different day when he got back,

as far as your kids they will get used to him being gone, we never thought anything about our dad being gone, we just knew that dad was a trucker and that was his job

I don't know whether your husbands company allows passengers, but if it does after he is done training, why not go with him one time, it may ease your fears, and may help you to understand his job, and being in contact with him on the phone or laptop a couple of times a day may ease his fears about you

~Red~ · Joined: 18 Dec 2006 Posts: 9

I wish I could go on the truck with him even for a lil bit but I can't cause we have 2 small children at home and no one to really watch them. We both knew he would be gone for a couple wks at a time its just getting used to it. Now what is really pissing me off is his company told him he would be home sometime during christmas day...true things come up. they didn't say he would be home all day but at least a couple of hrs again we were fine with that. Now he's not even going to be anywhere close. And they gave him and his trainer an impossible run even seasoned team drivers have told him it would be really hard for them to make it on time.

stevedb28 · Joined: 05 Aug 2006 Posts: 289 Location: nashville, tn

jnk2001 wrote: "don't let him take the laptop until he finishes training and gets his own truck! the trainer may get upset that he has a laptop!"

Why? I don't remember "drill sargeant" next to their title....lol :lol: :lol:

I took mine with my trainer, and it worked out well, he had one too and we played games online against one another. It depends on the trainer, but to say dont do it to everyone is kinda harsh. If your trainer doesnt like it, who says you have to pull it out? But if hes cool with it (most are) then you have it there.

coastie · Joined: 09 Mar 2007 Posts: 430 Location: Elberton, Ga

Why would a trainer care? As long your not playing with the computer while driving who cares?

drivers*wife* · Joined: 26 Mar 2007 Posts: 10 Location: Texas

TruckersBish wrote:
My hubby is always worried about "US" when he leaves I haven't cheated andhe has never cheated but yet we are both worried about the other cheating on the other. How can I ease his mind about me not leaving him no matter what? And how did some of you ladies handle the first goodbye? Cause I am already crying, depressed, and upset about it. I know this isn't forever.

Thank you.

Hi there my husband is almost done with his 6 weeks training, he has gotten to come home a few times...I will be going with him once he is done as we have a grown 20 year old daughter (so we are in that time in our life where we don't have little ones) & are in a bind money wise. I think he has 9 or 10 more days training...then test out.
But when he first left we both cried ALOT...but its gotten easier & he is almost done, it got easier everytime he left....could I do this having my husband gone all the time, I don't think so....I actually like my space & we have never been apart but now I can do things on my time, I still would not be able to do it if he was gone all the time.

What I wanted to tell you is with some men even my husband after all these years still thinks I will cheat or leave him while he is training why he feels like this I don't know, I have never given him a reason to think I would act like that...I think some men are just that way no matter what.

Is your husband planning on getting some experience & then find something local that way he will be home at night or during the day....that is our plan to do this for a couple of years & then buy our second house & he will drive for some of the good local companies that want 2+ years before they will hire him. Just wondering because he could get something local if you keep an eye out in the paper for him.

I hope my post is ok, im just sharing my experience & thinking that after a bit he could drive local & be home with you & the kids.

Tammy

GA*truckwife* · Joined: 16 Apr 2007 Posts: 1 Location: Georgia

I know what you're going through! We're new to this as well; mine just got out of 4 wks with a trainer, and is on his 2nd week solo. He's gone 1-2 wks at a time; hometime this weekend was unexpected, and only a little over 24 hours. All our kids are 14yo and up.

I like the suggestion given about leaving little notes, cards, etc. I do the same thing! Tuck a few into socks, pockets, etc. I often add some home-baked stuff when he's not looking ~ just for a sweet suprise when he's gone. Sometimes I'll tuck a 'nightie' between his pillows, or pack it in with his clothes, put a little touch of my perfume on it. :wink:

I know it's hard when he comes home and all he wants to do is shower and sleep ~ I used to work on an ambulance, so I know a little of long hours in a rig/behind the wheel, but I doubt it's really comparable! Still, it's hard when he's been gone so long and nothing gets done when he's home, and he's gone again before I blink. After nearly 2 mos I'm sort of getting into a 'routine' and used to it, if you can call it that .. the days just seem to go by, and stuff gets done .. mostly!! :D I found a good Christian truck wives' support online, and found two ladies in my local area to chat with almost daily. It helps just to do my fussing to them instead of my hubby when he comes home! That definitely doesn't work!

Mostly, I just keep breathing and praying! The days keep passing! He's happier than I've seen him in a long while, and the backlog of bills will start to go down now! Yay!

Hang in there! God will get ya through!

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