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TruckersBish
Joined: 18 Nov 2006
Posts: 22
Location: new mexico
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| Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 12:52 pm Post subject: New and upset |
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Hey my husband is on this site and he told me about this forum so I thought I would check it out you can see his posts "Iron_Weasel"
He is starting training in a couple of wks with a company that does all 48 states and canada. I am really happy for him about his job....yet at the same time I haven't been apart from him over night in our whole 3 yr marriage. We also have a 5 & 3 yr old and the 3 yr old is very attached to his daddy.
My hubby is always worried about "US" when he leaves I haven't cheated andhe has never cheated but yet we are both worried about the other cheating on the other. How can I ease his mind about me not leaving him no matter what? And how did some of you ladies handle the first goodbye? Cause I am already crying, depressed, and upset about it. I know this isn't forever.
Thank you. |
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madii'swife
Joined: 02 Nov 2006
Posts: 577
Location: Stillwater, OK
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| Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 1:54 pm Post subject: Re: New and upset |
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TruckersBish wrote: He is starting training in a couple of wks with a company that does all 48 states and canada. I am really happy for him about his job....yet at the same time I haven't been apart from him over night in our whole 3 yr marriage. We also have a 5 & 3 yr old and the 3 yr old is very attached to his daddy.
My hubby is always worried about "US" when he leaves I haven't cheated andhe has never cheated but yet we are both worried about the other cheating on the other. How can I ease his mind about me not leaving him no matter what? And how did some of you ladies handle the first goodbye? Cause I am already crying, depressed, and upset about it. I know this isn't forever.
Thank you.
I am still very new at this also, on our second goodbye so to speak ( the first for school, this for orientation and training). You sound very much like us except kid's ages and how long you've been married! We had only been apart once in 8 years of marriage before this, and that was for 4 days (hardly touches 3-5 weeks).
I found at least for me, that the day before he left was the worst. Once he was actually gone (bus for us) we all cried and talked for several hours, but then life just seems to take over, and you move on. As far as the actual goodbye, do your best to stay cheerful and enjoy every minute you still have with him. Easier said then done I understand.
I have a 3 yr old boy who is also very much a Daddy's boy. He has actually done remarkable well so far. I've taken over several things that Daddy used to do with him all the time (wrestling, reading, etc) and do my best to spend more time will all my children while he is gone (7,3, and 1). Best thing I have found so far, is forums like this, where others truly understand, and to stay busy.
It will take some adjusting to having "seperate lives", I know we are just starting to figure that part of it out. There's just no way you can cover all day's events in 30 minutes of talking to each other once a day. Use a notepad or other place to write down things that happen during your day that you want to tell him, and be sure to include some of the "routine" Homey kindof things, as that is what he will be missing.
I know some of the more seasoned wives have some better ideas for the long haul of it, just wanted to let you know you're not alone, and share what I've discovered thus far. Sorry if I ended up rambling! |
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yoopr
Joined: 01 Dec 2004
Posts: 12866
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| Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 3:19 pm Post subject: Re: New and upset |
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TruckersBish wrote: Hey my husband is on this site and he told me about this forum so I thought I would check it out you can see his posts "Iron_Weasel"
He is starting training in a couple of wks with a company that does all 48 states and canada. I am really happy for him about his job....yet at the same time I haven't been apart from him over night in our whole 3 yr marriage. We also have a 5 & 3 yr old and the 3 yr old is very attached to his daddy.
My hubby is always worried about "US" when he leaves I haven't cheated andhe has never cheated but yet we are both worried about the other cheating on the other. How can I ease his mind about me not leaving him no matter what? And how did some of you ladies handle the first goodbye? Cause I am already crying, depressed, and upset about it. I know this isn't forever.
Thank you.
You are actually saying this when he's a Active and Registered member on Here? |
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TruckersBish
Joined: 18 Nov 2006
Posts: 22
Location: new mexico
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| Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 3:49 pm Post subject: Re: New and upset |
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yoopr wrote: TruckersBish wrote: Hey my husband is on this site and he told me about this forum so I thought I would check it out you can see his posts "Iron_Weasel"
He is starting training in a couple of wks with a company that does all 48 states and canada. I am really happy for him about his job....yet at the same time I haven't been apart from him over night in our whole 3 yr marriage. We also have a 5 & 3 yr old and the 3 yr old is very attached to his daddy.
My hubby is always worried about "US" when he leaves I haven't cheated andhe has never cheated but yet we are both worried about the other cheating on the other. How can I ease his mind about me not leaving him no matter what? And how did some of you ladies handle the first goodbye? Cause I am already crying, depressed, and upset about it. I know this isn't forever.
Thank you.
You are actually saying this when he's a Active and Registered member on Here?
Yes and? He's the one who told me to register on this site for this part of the forum.[/b] |
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BanditsCousin
Joined: 05 Jun 2004
Posts: 3195
Location: Chicago, IL
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| Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 5:21 pm Post subject: |
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Why is his username such a secret? It better not be Pumpkinspice or I20 :roll: :lol: :lol: Also, what company is he training with? Some of us on here can give you some input on his company and tell you realistic hoemtime(s).
Its cute you both worry about each other, it shows you care. From a young bachelor, I'll give you some advice- Theres not gobs of slutty women out here on the road. With the majority of us "maximizing our logs" :wink: day in and day out, there really is no time for that. Girls don't hang out at truckstops, recievers docks, and weigh stations ( places he will be 98% of the time) :wink: I run hhg, and stay in motels a lot and deal with the general public more than most drivers on here, and I've yet to get any "action" beyond a hug while on the road :wink:
Stay in ouch- call a couple times a day (vice versa). Take advantage of email, and camera phones are the latest way for us to keep in touch. of course, when $$ permits, a cheap laptop will also bridge the distance between home and your trucker.
Your kids will get used to it. My Dad used to stay out 2-3 months at a time when i was younger. This is a very big change for your nuclear family, but it could be a lot worse! |
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TruckersBish
Joined: 18 Nov 2006
Posts: 22
Location: new mexico
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| Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 5:25 pm Post subject: |
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I have a laptop that I will be letting him take with him. He doesn't know if he wants to take it cause he's scared of it getting stolen.
He'll be training with CFI |
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BanditsCousin
Joined: 05 Jun 2004
Posts: 3195
Location: Chicago, IL
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| Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 6:34 pm Post subject: |
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I keep mine in a breifcase and carry it in with me to Flying J. I wouldn't worry about it getting stolen unless he has a bad habit of leaving it on the dash while having unlucked doors AND being away from the truck :)
I keep mine out of sight if someone were to peep in my windows at a truckstop, but the same goes for my personal vehicle in a parking lot :wink: |
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syl77dar
Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 361
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| Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 10:49 pm Post subject: good luck |
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| good luck |
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Pokeyg
Joined: 25 Nov 2006
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 4:26 pm Post subject: |
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| My Man has just graduated from school and started working for CFI. He loves it - but i hate it! He was gone for 9 weeks which was school, orientation and 7500 miles with his trainer. I am having a lot of trouble with him being gone so long. But now he will be gong 3 to 4 weeks at a time. We don't have the Jealously thing going on so much we trust each other thoroughly - what is hard for us is the loneliness and separation. |
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devildice
Joined: 04 Sep 2006
Posts: 1413
Location: Helotes, Texas
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| Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 5:54 pm Post subject: Re: no laptop until he gets his own truck |
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syl77dar wrote: don't let him take the laptop until he finishes training and gets his own truck! the trainer may get upset that he has a laptop!
Why :?: :?: :?: |
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crankyazz
Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 135
Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
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| Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 5:45 pm Post subject: re |
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| welcome to trucking :) |
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jnk2001
Joined: 01 Dec 2006
Posts: 447
Location: Lynden, WA
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| Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 11:23 pm Post subject: |
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"don't let him take the laptop until he finishes training and gets his own truck! the trainer may get upset that he has a laptop!"
Why? I don't remember "drill sargeant" next to their title....lol :lol: :lol: |
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~Red~
Joined: 18 Dec 2006
Posts: 9
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| Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Well he actually left last night around 10pm he'll be gone for3 wks with 3 days off then back for another 3 wks. It was really hard for our kids to understand why daddy wasn't there. |
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repete
Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 217
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| Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 8:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Well I don't know if this would work with the kids but it really did help my wife & I. She would slip a cheap greeting card or two in my map case or in my bag even in my cooler sometimes with a picture. I would leave one usually under her pillow and hide a few others around the house. I would also mail postcards & letters. It worked for us , maybe your kids will look forward to a letter from dad instead of just missing him. HOPE IT WORKS OUT FOR YOU AND YES IT WILL GET BETTER :) |
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~Red~
Joined: 18 Dec 2006
Posts: 9
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| Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 10:02 am Post subject: |
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repete wrote: Well I don't know if this would work with the kids but it really did help my wife & I. She would slip a cheap greeting card or two in my map case or in my bag even in my cooler sometimes with a picture. I would leave one usually under her pillow and hide a few others around the house. I would also mail postcards & letters. It worked for us , maybe your kids will look forward to a letter from dad instead of just missing him. HOPE IT WORKS OUT FOR YOU AND YES IT WILL GET BETTER :)
That is a really good idea! I'm going to suggest that to him the next time he calls. |
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