countrygirl
Joined: 20 Jan 2005
Posts: 411
Location: Southeastern Ohio
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| Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 11:59 pm Post subject: Why we love children |
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> Why We Love Children !
> >1) NUDITY
> >I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
> a
> >woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
> >naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout
> from
> >the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
> >
> >2) OPINIONS
> >On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
> from
> >his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are
> not
> >necessarily those of his parents."
> >
> >3) KETCHUP
> >A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her
> >struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
> the
> >phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
> >hitting the bottle."
> >
> >4) MORE NUDITY
> >A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
> locker
> >room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
> >grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
> amazement
> >and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy
> >before?"
> >
> >
> >5) POLICE # 1
> >While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
> >interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at
> my
> >uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued
> >writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask
> the
> >police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right, " I told her. "Well,
> then,"
> >she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my
> >shoe?"
> >
> >6) POLICE # 2
> >It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
> >station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
> barking,
> >and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back
> there?"
> >he asked. "It sure is," I replied.
> >
> >Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
> Finally
> >he said, "What'd he do?"
> >
> >7) ELDERLY
> >While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
> >shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
> She
> >was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
> >particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
> >staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
> for
> >the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,
> "The
> >tooth fairy will never believe this!"
> >
> >8) DRESS-UP
> >A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
> her
> >dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
> suit."
> >"And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache
> the
> >next morning. "
> >
> >9) DEATH
> >While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
> heard
> >the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently,
> his
> >5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
> >
> >Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a
> small
> >box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal
> of
> >the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
> prayers
> >and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his
> father
> >always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into
> the
> >hole he goooes."
> >
> >10) SCHOOL
> >A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
> wasting
> >my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they
>
> >won't let me talk!"
> >
> >11) BIBLE
> >A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
> fingered
> >through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He
> picked
> >up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had
> been
> >pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called
>
> >out. "What have you got there, dear?"
> >
> >With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's
> >Adam's underwear."
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