Small Children at Home?

[okdieselgrl]

I'm not new to the road lifestyle...in fact, it's more normal to me than being here at the house has ever felt. This time I have to leave to make money though, I have an extra factor - a 1yr old daughter who is used to having me around 24/7. Have any of you ladies had to leave young children behind to keep a roof over their head? How did they take it? How do you stop from going insane?

I've always been good about having the home "off" switch, but this time I'm not so sure.

[Ridge Runner]

I'm not a Mom but come in at a close second as a Dad. My FIRST instinct is to say do NOT do this. Is there no other way for you to work and be home? Who will be caring for your daughter while you are gone? No matter what you do or say there is no way that a child will not feel to some extent unwanted and abandoned. If you think your heart will be breaking.....think of how she will feel. I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life when I chose to drive OTR with 5 and 8 year old at home.

When we chose to be parents we committed ourselves to 18 years of service. That service cannot be performed from 100's of miles away. It can't be done over the phone. A couple of days a week will fall way short on what is really required to fulfill your commitment. It's a 24/7 thing.

I don't know your full situation but I can only encourage you to try EVERY means you can to be home for your child.

[okdieselgrl]

I'm with you on it...but it comes down to having no skills. I actually left work because she was being raised by a series of babysitters because of my long days at in the office at Arrow. Wasn't their fault, it was just the nature of the job. Then the economy went to the crapper and well, my husband's job as a mechanic isn't quite cutting it anymore. We were scraping by, it was close...but you know how they say the average American is 2wks from being homeless? Yeah, I can definately see that. In fact, if it wasn't for the little one he'd go back to being my passenger and we'd be on the road tomorrow.

Unfortunately an average to poor week for me on the road is almost three times what he's bringing in now, and it's only going to get worse. I can make what he's bringing home now with far less than 1,000 mi a week. I have no marketable skills other than my CDL...I was in college here locally (online) to try and change that, and will still take classes online from my cab...but...it's still going to be about three years before that degree is done, and no one locally needs a safety trainer ;o)

I can't help but look at the situation and think that I made a promise to my little one...she wouldn't go without. This way she could at least stay home with her dad, and maybe in a year if the econonmy improves I might be able to come back off and finish up that dang degree. I can't put us in a better place by working McDonalds at night, I *might* be able to get us at least stable if I invest just a little more of my life on the highway. He doesn't have a CDL, so sending him out wouldn't work at all - this is no market for a rookie to go out there, and I remember those first years well. Lots of ramen and Chef Boyardee (which I still cannot eat to this day...yuck!!!!).

[Ridge Runner]

I'm glad to hear that the father is not only in the picture but in the house as well. Sadly this is too often not the case. Him being there will go a long way but keep in mind it will never replace your being there too. I hope I didn't come across too harshly in my first post. I don't know your full situation and sometimes we "have to do, what we have to do". To be honest I have never said I would NEVER go OTR again, just that it would be my last resort. I learned that a child would rather have Mom ( and Dad ) any day over ANYTHING that you could buy them.

I want to wish you luck and please keep us informed how things are going. I'm sure there are others in the same boat as you that would want to know what you do to cope with this kind of situation.

[okdieselgrl]

Not harsh at all...believe me, I *am* the one that's sworn (more than once) to give up life on the road once and for all. Just seems life likes to throw curve balls when they're least expected and put me back in a cab. I'm thinking one of these days to just buy an RV and be done with it LOL

[okdieselgrl]

Hey Ridge, since my old account is dead, you don't think I might be able to get my post count and status back on this one, do ya?

[wildkat]

Is there any way you could find a local or regional job that would put you home every night or at least every other night?

When mine were little that's what I did...regional, got home every night, doesn't pay to be gone when they're young...I KNOW...believe me!

[GMAN]

Is there any way your husband could find another job or a second job to ease things until the economy picks up? Some of these fast food restaurants have management training programs where you can earn a decent living. There are several truck stops and trucking companies in your area. Perhaps your husband could find something in his field with one of them, especially if he has certifications. By the way, your old account should be able to be merged with your new to keep your post count and old posts.

[dieselgrl]

Thanks GMAN, Ridge Runner fixed it for me ;o)

The catch is around here, local jobs only pay for the cost of daycare - it almost completely negates the money I'd be bringing home. Great Catch-22, isn't it? Work simply for the *privilege* of being able to work I think as well after doing some soul searching and talking with him it would be best for our daughter in the long run to stay with one parent full time rather than lose us both for the majority of the day. My other half is already working 12 hour days, but it's the problem inherent in flat-rate mechanic pay - it *only* pays when there are cars coming in. The 7-7 schedule (which isn't terribly predictable, he's stayed later before) leaves very limited options for second jobs....we had already looked at adding fast food or retail night stocking, but when is he supposed to rest in these equations? (And people worry about truckers and the HOS...haha!)

Oddly enough, despite the fact I live in a pretty decent freight lane (god knows how many times I drove through Tulsa before I moved here...), I've had trouble finding regional/dedicated options hiring right now. The best I've found so far is 5-7 out, 2 home running around 5 states. I used to run Target freight with Swift out of Dallas when I lived down there, and a job like that would have been ideal (I was generally home every other night), but companies seem to be cutting back on drivers like everyone else. I'm about to add hazmat back to my license, and I figure at the same time I'll pick up my doubles, triples and tanker endorsements for the hell of it - and of course, I'm applying for that newfangled TWIC (knew I should have got one while I was still working in the office....) to open up a few more doors. It's just slow going, and it's winter again. Yay.

[geeshock]

I hear you and wish you the best of luck, maybe something local will pop up soon.