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Thread: A Serious Question ( about men)

  1. #41
    movinit is offline Board Regular
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    I consider someone to be romantic by sharing my interests as much as they want me to share in theirs. I love to hunt so someone who can shoot as good as I do and doesn't squeal is romantic.
    Last edited by movinit; 04-07-2009 at 07:07 PM.
    If you think you can or you think you can't, either way you are right!

    Doesn't matter where you have been, it's where you are going in life that counts!

  2. #42
    RebelDarlin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Snowman7 View Post
    Do you guys think your parents relationships come into play here? We learn by example. Any relationship is going to get tested at some point. I think we either try to get along or try to break up. Kinda like deciding to be happy or sad. It is a choice. Some relationships just werent right but some that fail could have been saved with a different mindset. I guess I dont relate to romance per se. My wife and I just get along and we like each other. We try not to hurt each other. We always know we want to be together and we tell each other that. Just talking out loud here Reb, not sure how to answer your question. I'm not much help around the house. I do all the guy stuff and I'm responsible but not much on cooking, cleaning, laundry so I dont think thats the answer.

    Good point Snowman! My Dad was a trucker, not around a lot. Me, I've always worked so I'm not around a lot either. My only marriage (many years ago and quite brief) was a disaster and since then I don't think I've taken any relationship serious enough to contemplate trying to make it last. It was pretty much take me as I am or there's the door. They were a 'convenience' so to speak. But recently I find myself in new territory and am at a loss as to how to proceed. My best friend calls me 'relationship r-e-t-a-r-d-ed', and she's pretty much nailed me with that one. I don't have a clue!
    Last edited by RebelDarlin; 04-08-2009 at 05:30 AM. Reason: Edited to fix r-e-t-a-r-d-e-d since the word filter ******* it out.
    My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
    Thomas Jefferson- Democratic-Republican
    Responsibility is the ability to choose your response. Victims choose to be controlled by outside forces, Responsible people maintain control by making a choice.

  3. #43
    matcat's Avatar
    matcat is offline Senior Board Member
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    To be philosophical here...

    Love is nothing that can be quantified with any formula, specific set of actions, or even by logic! Love is an emotion, however relationships are real and quantifiable. Relationships based on love can be very complicated because emotion and logic don't mix. What works in a relationship depends solely on the two people involved. I honestly don't think a relationship can truly last on love alone. This is why I think a lot of people get married and find out that life afterwards is completely different then before. As I already said, love is an emotion, it can cause two people to be attracted, which will start a relationship, but it will not hold one together. Relationships take work, they take sacrifice, and they take understanding both yourself and the other person. After marriage it is more then just love, the act of marriage itself is a commitment that the two will join their lives together! This means all the responsibilities of life are now joined together.

    You need to keep your relationship alive and healthy in order to keep your love alive and healthy in relation to that relationship.

    This is one of the reasons why I have never persued a serious relationship, because I can hardly be responsable for my own life, let alone anyone elses. I have experienced the emotion of love plenty of times, but never put much effort into the relationship aspect of it. Not that I don't think I could, but because in reality I am just not responsable enough for it. Although the older I get, the more I start to regret some of my choices...

    At either rate, I just wanted to do a little philosophical ranting, I haven't done much philosphical writing in a long time, and for some reason today I felt the desire too. Perhaps that happy pill last night does have a lingering effect...
    My Trucking Blog: http://matcattruckin.blogspot.com/
    Website I am making for drivers: http://www.4thedriver.com

    As I sit looking all around,
    Confusion and uncertainty is all I found.
    The answers are there,
    But I do not know where.
    Optimistic and hopeful dreams,
    Are all I have so it seems.
    The future I do not know,
    So all I can do is take it slow.
    But I do know it will work out,
    So I wait and watch without a doubt
    .

  4. #44
    BlooMoose's Avatar
    BlooMoose is offline K-Mart Secret Shopper Senior Board Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Snowman7 View Post
    Do you guys think your parents relationships come into play here? We learn by example. Any relationship is going to get tested at some point. I think we either try to get along or try to break up. Kinda like deciding to be happy or sad. It is a choice. Some relationships just werent right but some that fail could have been saved with a different mindset. I guess I dont relate to romance per se. My wife and I just get along and we like each other. We try not to hurt each other. We always know we want to be together and we tell each other that. Just talking out loud here Reb, not sure how to answer your question. I'm not much help around the house. I do all the guy stuff and I'm responsible but not much on cooking, cleaning, laundry so I dont think thats the answer.
    As Reb said, you are probably on to something.
    "Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort."

    Humphry Davy

  5. #45
    amandaholder is offline BANNED Rookie
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    Quote Originally Posted by RebelDarlin View Post
    I am really bad at this kind of stuff (obviously why I'm still single at 50)! What do men consider 'romantic'? I don't mean sexy, I can figure that part out, but what is romantic to a man. Or do they even want, or need, romance?
    men dont want romance,just sex, that's why I have a girlfriend, she knows how to be romantic

  6. #46
    matcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amandaholder View Post
    men dont want romance,just sex, that's why I have a girlfriend, she knows how to be romantic
    I have to disagree with that. Sex is great, but it is not everything. All the sexual partners I have had that didn't involve any real love to me where just empty and meaningless encounters.

    It could just be I am getting older and see things differently though...
    My Trucking Blog: http://matcattruckin.blogspot.com/
    Website I am making for drivers: http://www.4thedriver.com

    As I sit looking all around,
    Confusion and uncertainty is all I found.
    The answers are there,
    But I do not know where.
    Optimistic and hopeful dreams,
    Are all I have so it seems.
    The future I do not know,
    So all I can do is take it slow.
    But I do know it will work out,
    So I wait and watch without a doubt
    .

  7. #47
    Rev.Vassago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amandaholder View Post
    men dont want romance,just sex, that's why I have a girlfriend, she knows how to be romantic
    Wow. What a bigot.

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rev.Vassago View Post
    Wow. What a bigot.

    LOL. I have nearly come to that conclusion, myself...maybe what I need is a good wife...
    "Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort."

    Humphry Davy

  9. #49
    matcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlooMoose View Post
    LOL. I have nearly come to that conclusion, myself...maybe what I need is a good wife...
    No you don't need a wife!!!
    My Trucking Blog: http://matcattruckin.blogspot.com/
    Website I am making for drivers: http://www.4thedriver.com

    As I sit looking all around,
    Confusion and uncertainty is all I found.
    The answers are there,
    But I do not know where.
    Optimistic and hopeful dreams,
    Are all I have so it seems.
    The future I do not know,
    So all I can do is take it slow.
    But I do know it will work out,
    So I wait and watch without a doubt
    .

  10. #50
    BlooMoose's Avatar
    BlooMoose is offline K-Mart Secret Shopper Senior Board Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by matcat View Post
    No you don't need a wife!!!
    ROFLMAO!! Tell me what I need, mat
    "Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort."

    Humphry Davy

  11. #51
    matcat's Avatar
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    After I get done doing this ton of paperwork I let pile up :P
    My Trucking Blog: http://matcattruckin.blogspot.com/
    Website I am making for drivers: http://www.4thedriver.com

    As I sit looking all around,
    Confusion and uncertainty is all I found.
    The answers are there,
    But I do not know where.
    Optimistic and hopeful dreams,
    Are all I have so it seems.
    The future I do not know,
    So all I can do is take it slow.
    But I do know it will work out,
    So I wait and watch without a doubt
    .

  12. #52
    BlooMoose's Avatar
    BlooMoose is offline K-Mart Secret Shopper Senior Board Member
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    "Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort."

    Humphry Davy

  13. #53
    RebelDarlin's Avatar
    RebelDarlin is offline Senior Board Member
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    Ok I found this and it seems to fit:

    What Men Want - How to Romance a Man - Redbook



    BTW Jumbo you rock! Your original list is almost exactly what he said!
    My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
    Thomas Jefferson- Democratic-Republican
    Responsibility is the ability to choose your response. Victims choose to be controlled by outside forces, Responsible people maintain control by making a choice.

  14. #54
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    If I may say, it may or may not be romantic to you but it is to me when my girlfriend does things for me when I don't even ask her to do it. Such as make my lunch, come snuggle next to me while I'm sleeping (lets me know I'm wanted), gives me unexpected back/leg rubs! Those texts that you get once in a while stating "I just wanted to let you know I love you", those kinds of texts just hit the spot! So for me overall it's when you get/receive something without even expecting it.
    I'll gladly pay u tuesday for a hamburger today.

  15. #55
    Fredog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlooMoose View Post
    ROFLMAO!! Tell me what I need, mat
    you need to quit playing on the internet and go haul another load.

  16. #56
    dobry4u's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fredog View Post
    you need to quit playing on the internet and go haul another load.
    Now that is romantic!

  17. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by dobry4u View Post
    now that is romantic!
    rofl!
    My Trucking Blog: http://matcattruckin.blogspot.com/
    Website I am making for drivers: http://www.4thedriver.com

    As I sit looking all around,
    Confusion and uncertainty is all I found.
    The answers are there,
    But I do not know where.
    Optimistic and hopeful dreams,
    Are all I have so it seems.
    The future I do not know,
    So all I can do is take it slow.
    But I do know it will work out,
    So I wait and watch without a doubt
    .

  18. #58
    jonp's Avatar
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    Romance is when I come home from 4 or 5 days on the road and my girlfriend has left a six-pack of my favorite beer in the fridge and she hates beer. For Valentines day one year my girlfriend left me a bottle of brandy and $5 to buy bait to go ice fishing. One year while I was at hunting camp she came out and when I came in for supper she was there with a fresh baked lasgagne. Very romantic for me without her having to say a thing. I'm serious.

    Women and men look at romance and their relationship from entirely different perspectives. This is why for a women to expect a man to say I love you every day is not realistic. Men are more apt to demonstrate their love with concrete actions and not say it alot. One summer my girlfriend of a few years told me out of the blue that I never said I love you to her. My reply: Huh? Hell, I just took two weeks off work and roofed your house! Women are more cerebral and men more physical about love and sex. It's the way that we are wired.

    Small things like the beer or putting up with his blow-em-up movies without making a fuss are romantic to us. The remark about the slinky lace and the women thinking she is being romantic and the man just thinking that he is about to get some is dead on the mark. We are just different.

  19. #59
    GTR SILVER's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by matcat View Post
    To be philosophical here...

    Love is nothing that can be quantified with any formula, specific set of actions, or even by logic! Love is an emotion, however relationships are real and quantifiable. Relationships based on love can be very complicated because emotion and logic don't mix. What works in a relationship depends solely on the two people involved. I honestly don't think a relationship can truly last on love alone. This is why I think a lot of people get married and find out that life afterwards is completely different then before. As I already said, love is an emotion, it can cause two people to be attracted, which will start a relationship, but it will not hold one together. Relationships take work, they take sacrifice, and they take understanding both yourself and the other person. After marriage it is more then just love, the act of marriage itself is a commitment that the two will join their lives together! This means all the responsibilities of life are now joined together.

    You need to keep your relationship alive and healthy in order to keep your love alive and healthy in relation to that relationship.

    This is one of the reasons why I have never persued a serious relationship, because I can hardly be responsable for my own life, let alone anyone elses. I have experienced the emotion of love plenty of times, but never put much effort into the relationship aspect of it. Not that I don't think I could, but because in reality I am just not responsable enough for it. Although the older I get, the more I start to regret some of my choices...

    At either rate, I just wanted to do a little philosophical ranting, I haven't done much philosphical writing in a long time, and for some reason today I felt the desire too. Perhaps that happy pill last night does have a lingering effect...
    spoke'n like a true "trucker"...just kidding.......very well put

    there is a saying..."know thy self"...if we are to self consumed..how can we know our partner...???
    just my 1 cent.....
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  20. #60
    matcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GTR SILVER View Post
    spoke'n like a true "trucker"...just kidding.......very well put

    there is a saying..."know thy self"...if we are to self consumed..how can we know our partner...???
    just my 1 cent.....
    Are you saying I am self consumed?!?
    My Trucking Blog: http://matcattruckin.blogspot.com/
    Website I am making for drivers: http://www.4thedriver.com

    As I sit looking all around,
    Confusion and uncertainty is all I found.
    The answers are there,
    But I do not know where.
    Optimistic and hopeful dreams,
    Are all I have so it seems.
    The future I do not know,
    So all I can do is take it slow.
    But I do know it will work out,
    So I wait and watch without a doubt
    .

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