Has anyone found an honest male driver out there?

[golfhobo]

How does a woman know if she is worth looking at? Who sets the standards?

See the thread on "Clean-Cut." :wink:

[shyykatt]

Shall we dub this the most entertaining thread on this site?

[mommee]

How does a woman know if she is worth looking at? Who sets the standards?

See the thread on "Clean-Cut." :wink:

So what are you trying to say....

[RebelDarlin]

And now we know....

Do YOU/WE?? I don't think so. But, someday I will write it. I allready HAVE the title.

ANNULLED

How the Catholic Church Stole My Daughter (And My LIFE!)

Geez Hobo, lose you sense of humor on this trip? :?

"The Rest of the Story" (in Paul Harvey's voice of course), simply meant the "male" POV on the subject, NOT YOUR LIFE STORY!

As for the other... IMHO, unless you are murdered, no one can steal your life. People and circumstances can make your life miserable, but only if you let them. Hurts heal, but only if you let them. There isn't anyone I know who hasn't been through some terrible ordeal in their life, but they go on living. It's a choice that each of us has to make, to let something ruin our life or to learn from it and grow to be a better person.

Twenty years ago, on March 11th, I buried my youngest son. He was 7 weeks old. I found him dead in his crib. To say that I "lost it" is an understatement. It was months before I would even leave my house. I stayed as numb as I could with Vodka and vicodin. My ex-husband used that event to get sole custody of my four older children. I wasn't allowed to see them for almost 15 years. They were afraid of me, afraid that I would "kill" them too. The fact that the autopsy showed that he died of Myocarditis, didn't seem to matter. Suicidal doesn't even begin to cover what I felt at the time.

But I had a very good friend who told me that I had a choice, to either crawl in my sons grave with him, or to figure out how to get my life back enough to see my other children. It was just the kick in the ***** I needed. I've spent the last 20 years working my ***** off to get my life where I want it to be! Is it perfect? Nope, far from it! But it's a far cry from what it could have been if I hadn't taken responsibility for myself. I'm the only one that can fix me, I'm the only one that can choose how I live my life.

And yes I am a hard ass, there are very few people that I let close to me. But I am a nice person, and I am a positive person and people like being around me! I always try to find the good in an awful event. My sons deathe caused his father to go into re-hab. He hasn't a drink in almost 20 years. He's now happily married to someone else, and I am happy for him. My mother died 4 years ago in a car accident 3 days before Christmas. SHe was on her way to my brothers house for Christmas and his birthday, which was Dec 28. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was call my brother to tell him Mom wouldn't be there. See my brother was dying of cancer and we all knew it was his last Christmas and birthday. I was glad, if you can use that word, that she was spared having to bury her only son. He died March 13th, 2 weeks after his only sons 1st birthday.

My last conversation with him, 2 days before he died, he told me I had to learn to live for today, not worry about tomorrow or the past. That isn't my nature, but it is what I've tried to do. If people don't get me BFD!!!


Reb

[mommee]

I guess I need to get rid of my blue hair and nose ring before coffee?

[golfhobo]

And now we know....

Do YOU/WE?? I don't think so. But, someday I will write it. I allready HAVE the title.

ANNULLED

How the Catholic Church Stole My Daughter (And My LIFE!)

Geez Hobo, lose you sense of humor on this trip? :?

"The Rest of the Story" (in Paul Harvey's voice of course), simply meant the "male" POV on the subject, NOT YOUR LIFE STORY!

As for the other... IMHO, unless you are murdered, no one can steal your life. People and circumstances can make your life miserable, but only if you let them. Hurts heal, but only if you let them. There isn't anyone I know who hasn't been through some terrible ordeal in their life, but they go on living. It's a choice that each of us has to make, to let something ruin our life or to learn from it and grow to be a better person.

Twenty years ago, on March 11th, I buried my youngest son. He was 7 weeks old. I found him dead in his crib. To say that I "lost it" is an understatement. It was months before I would even leave my house. I stayed as numb as I could with Vodka and vicodin. My ex-husband used that event to get sole custody of my four older children. I wasn't allowed to see them for almost 15 years. They were afraid of me, afraid that I would "kill" them too. The fact that the autopsy showed that he died of Myocarditis, didn't seem to matter. Suicidal doesn't even begin to cover what I felt at the time.

But I had a very good friend who told me that I had a choice, to either crawl in my sons grave with him, or to figure out how to get my life back enough to see my other children. It was just the kick in the ***** I needed. I've spent the last 20 years working my ***** off to get my life where I want it to be! Is it perfect? Nope, far from it! But it's a far cry from what it could have been if I hadn't taken responsibility for myself. I'm the only one that can fix me, I'm the only one that can choose how I live my life.

And yes I am a hard ass, there are very few people that I let close to me. But I am a nice person, and I am a positive person and people like being around me! I always try to find the good in an awful event. My sons deathe caused his father to go into re-hab. He hasn't a drink in almost 20 years. He's now happily married to someone else, and I am happy for him. My mother died 4 years ago in a car accident 3 days before Christmas. SHe was on her way to my brothers house for Christmas and his birthday, which was Dec 28. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was call my brother to tell him Mom wouldn't be there. See my brother was dying of cancer and we all knew it was his last Christmas and birthday. I was glad, if you can use that word, that she was spared having to bury her only son. He died March 13th, 2 weeks after his only sons 1st birthday.

My last conversation with him, 2 days before he died, he told me I had to learn to live for today, not worry about tomorrow or the past. That isn't my nature, but it is what I've tried to do. If people don't get me BFD!!!


Reb

As a matter of fact..... yes! This was a trip from Hell!!! I won't go into details. But, actually..... I thought YOU were the one who was a bit "touchy" lately, so maybe I misunderstood your "comment." :wink:

I am very sorry for you that you lost so much family. I cannot compare with that. And I wouldn't want to "try to top it" with my own petty circumstances.... but I would like to say this, if you will take it in the right context.

Death is, at least, final. It is something that is HARD to get over, but there is no choice. My situation is just a bit different. My child is out there, somewhere. I made some bad choices at the time of our "separation," and to some extent.... it is mostly MY fault that I don't know her. Through the years, I have let this SHAME infest me to the point that I feel I would have nothing to offer her if I COULD find her. And, the fact is.... I probably CAN. The biggest part of me feels that she is better off WITHOUT knowing me. I never intended for things to play out this way, but the further we went down the road, the sicker I became.

I KNOW I am responsible for my own life. I do not blame my exwife. The problems were with the mother in law, and eventually... the Catholic Church. And ultimately, the problems are with MYSELF! For ALL my accomplishments in life, and the ease with which they came, I have failed myself and my child. Some might add that I have also failed my God.

I never got "used to" failure, and I haven't the proper defenses against it. I am not without courage, heart or determination. But, it seems, I lack a chemical synapsis that equates to "motivation." And I have condemned myself for it. And, because I am a perfectionist, I loathe myself for the lack of it. It has become easier to hate myself than to change. Remember what I said? What we WILL tolerate, we CANNOT change.

I KNOW all the answers and solutions to my dillemma. I've read all the books. What I lack is LOVE. Love of self, or love from another.... either is sufficient for motivation. I have neither. Oh yes... my parents love me. But, somehow I managed to "compartmentalize" that love long ago. If you want to get philosophical..... I suppose my problem AGAIN goes back to the fact that I believe I have "rejected" the love from my God.

I don't know WHY I have opened myself up this way on this "forum." All I can say is that you and Slimland, and many others here, have made it possible. I am sorry if I am boring anyone. But, I thank you all for the free "therapy."

[RebelDarlin]

As a matter of fact..... yes! This was a trip from Hell!!! I won't go into details. But, actually..... I thought YOU were the one who was a bit "touchy" lately, so maybe I misunderstood your "comment." :wink:

I'm sorry to hear it was a bad trip (no pun intended)! I'm also sorry that the fact that I chose to deal publicy with an issue that bothers me makes me appear "touchy". I don't like being analyzed and I resent anyone assuming that I'm not happy with my life the way it is.

I am very sorry for you that you lost so much family. I cannot compare with that. And I wouldn't want to "try to top it" with my own petty circumstances.... but I would like to say this, if you will take it in the right context.

Death is, at least, final. It is something that is HARD to get over, but there is no choice. My situation is just a bit different. My child is out there, somewhere. I made some bad choices at the time of our "separation," and to some extent.... it is mostly MY fault that I don't know her. Through the years, I have let this SHAME infest me to the point that I feel I would have nothing to offer her if I COULD find her. And, the fact is.... I probably CAN. The biggest part of me feels that she is better off WITHOUT knowing me. I never intended for things to play out this way, but the further we went down the road, the sicker I became.

So she grew up thinking you didn't care about her at all? That's very sad for her. My youngest daughter grew up knowing her father lived 20 minutes from here, but never had the time or inclination to bother with her. As her mother, it was devastating to see what that did to her. No matter how much I love her, it can't make up for the fact that he doesn't.
http://www.cyc-net.org/features/ft-Daddylittlegirl.html


I KNOW I am responsible for my own life. I do not blame my exwife. The problems were with the mother in law, and eventually... the Catholic Church. And ultimately, the problems are with MYSELF! For ALL my accomplishments in life, and the ease with which they came, I have failed myself and my child. Some might add that I have also failed my God.

You do know that an anullment is just a piece of paper only recognized by the Catholic Church, right?

I never got "used to" failure, and I haven't the proper defenses against it. I am not without courage, heart or determination. But, it seems, I lack a chemical synapsis that equates to "motivation." And I have condemned myself for it. And, because I am a perfectionist, I loathe myself for the lack of it. It has become easier to hate myself than to change. Remember what I said? What we WILL tolerate, we CANNOT change.

That is true and when you can't tolerate it any more, you WILL change it. Guilt is as bad, if not worse, than any drug addiction. It eats you up from the inside out and learning to deal with it takes time and a commitment.

I KNOW all the answers and solutions to my dillemma. I've read all the books. What I lack is LOVE. Love of self, or love from another.... either is sufficient for motivation. I have neither. Oh yes... my parents love me. But, somehow I managed to "compartmentalize" that love long ago. If you want to get philosophical..... I suppose my problem AGAIN goes back to the fact that I believe I have "rejected" the love from my God.


You can't ever really know the love of another without self love. And I don't mean ego, (you have that :wink: ) I mean believing that you have worth, and that you are worthy of love. In the very simplest of terms, if God is love and you are seperated from God, then you are also seperated from Love. You know how to fix that. It took me a long time and I'm still working on it. I always found it easier to keep people at a distance.

My Grandmother always said that the people who are the hardest to love are the ones that need it the most. They are the ones who don't believe that they deserve to be loved. I guess because I have always been one of those people who is hard to love, I attract, and am attracted to, other people like that. Makes life interesting to say the least. Even my pets are the ones no one else wanted, they have all been "rescue" animals.

I don't know WHY I have opened myself up this way on this "forum." All I can say is that you and Slimland, and many others here, have made it possible. I am sorry if I am boring anyone. But, I thank you all for the free "therapy."

Well you're NOT boring! As to why you've opened yourself up like this... you're looking for something. This is a safe environment because it isn't "real" like a "face to face" situation. You're pretty good at launching a topic then hitting the road and letting the chips fall where they may and coming back a week later and jumping into the fray!

Maybe it is good therapy. I had a therapist ask me once about my "support system". "My what?" Who I talked to about my issues. My response "That's what I'm paying you for!" So maybe this is a good support system. :wink:

Reb

Maybe I should put the porcupine Avatar back up!

[golfhobo]

I'm sorry. I seem to have hijacked this thread. Didn't mean to.

[gmh]

Sorry to disappoint you RH, here's your consolation prize!

I think he already has this issue.

And you know this how?

He borrowed it from me, of course.

[Trukrswyfe]

I should Have never quoted this person, because my response was never,,,,,NEVER To them. My mistake,It has been pointed out to me.....
I guess I deserve everything I got for making this error. I will strive to do better.


If your as honest as you say... You guys would agree the knife cuts both ways... So realize that there are flawed people...oh and that included you. Unless you think your perfect and in that case I can point you in the direction of the nearest mental health facility... I thought I was being cute... clearly it was not. My apology to any and all I hurt.

Seriously,,, the only people that have truly ever hurt me are those close enough to me to do that. And rather then close yourself off from fear of being hurt again... in doing so you think your protecting yourself from future hurt but really you continue to hurt. So already a self defeating act.

People hurt people and holding on to those hurts only destroys you..
Forgive those people, even if it is and [b]ex or current wife[/b]. I'll tell you why. If you have hopes to find a new relationship, your are just dragging your baggage into the next one, that will in fact stink it up. Then you end up hurt again an wondering why.

You cant hold on to hate in your heart and not have it affect every relationship you have. Even those with your children. The best way to get over hate and pain is graditude. Find something to be thankful for.

No I am not crazy!!
If your relationship no matter how ugly produced a child that you say you love then you should be able to be at the very least thankful for that.period. If you can't be thankful for your child well that is simply tragic. Try.

You cant be truly thankful and hateful. Pick one. Either your unhappy the relationship went the way it did but you are thankful for the blessings that is did produce, or you hate the relationship and all that came from it.

I myself married young did all the things I did the wrong way and wouldn't recommend it to anyone. However I could never take back the children I love and couldn't have had them without all the mess. So I see the mistakes I made and also the blessings the Lord gave me despite my rebellion.
perspective

[golfhobo]

I guess I need to get rid of my blue hair and nose ring before coffee?

ONLY if you want to be taken seriously. :wink:

[mommee]

Now would I ever want someone to take me seriously, that would be boring.

[Roadhog]

He borrowed it from me, of course.

Thanks Bro !


This thread is disturbing...and I have to be honest...
a typical wimmins thread. Why?... wimmin need to make things
so complicated, otherwise they become suspicious.

[Sizzle]

Hello Everyone: It's been quite a well since I've been on and wanted to say Hi to everyone. Particularly missed Drew10, Mommee, Trukrswyfe, Roadhog, Golfhobo and last but not least RidgeRunner.

I have met what I think is the "Love of My Life" in January and just haven't paid much attention to anything but him. We're both rather surprised at how similar we both are. The obvious similarities in our personalities started when he saw the Garfield on my dash [in my truck] that has a t-shirt on that states Perfection is hard to improve. He asked me what sign I was and I'm a Virgo-guess what he is also. From that point on it was quite a ride we are like the male/female version of each other.

The big difference is that he was brought up in South Africa [6', brown hair, baby blue eyes and a wonderful accent] and I was brought up here in the States. Although, our backgrounds are also similar socioeconomic wise.... It's been an unreal ride.

The day we met Jan. 13th, we were both supposed to be in North Carolina and we were in South Carolina. I decided to take a 34 hr. restart since I was just being deadheaded to an area with better freight. He was late to deliver and ended up waiting that night in North Carolina to deliver the next morning. We had both wished we had known that where he was delivering closed at 3 p.m. we could have spent the first day together. Now get ready for the really amazing part.... We were able to drive together for the next four days out of the first five days that we knew each other. He was a reefer driver from a small Nebraka Company & I drive for a Mega Carrier. One of my friends said the odds of us being able to drive together for so many days would be similar to the odds of being struck by lightening four times.

We have seen each other every week since we met. He moved down to Denver from Nebraska to be with me. He's now looking for a position here to drive regionally or 11 Western. I will probably go regional once he gets settled.

So I guess I can answer the question are there any Honest Male Drivers out there as a definitive yes. I've been single for six years and never been in love. It's hit me really hard. We've so enjoyed being with each other that's it's difficult to get back on the road.

The funniest part of it is that we were both not even looking. We thought we were just flirting. Little did we know that when we started talking almost all our likes & dislikes are the same. It's been a unbelievable ride and there is no doubt that there were many reasons for us to meet.

Thought I'd get back on to say Hi and Wish everyone the best of luck. Don't know how often I'll be on since I'm rather focused on other things right now. 8)

Goodbye & Goodnight... Sizzle

[RebelDarlin]

I guess Sizzle doesn't care that her thread got hijacked!

[gmh]

I guess Sizzle doesn't care that her thread got hijacked!

No kidding; this is teh interweb. Something like a thread hijacking is tantamount to fighting words. She really needs to get her priorities straight. Finding a significant other more important than strangers on a board?

[RebelDarlin]

I'm sorry. I seem to have hijacked this thread. Didn't mean to.

Really!? I thought we were seeing an ACTUAL HONEST MALE DRIVER! :wink:

[Syncrosonix]

i let my disdain for humanity drive me. behind my smile is something more to the picture. usually when i smile, it's because something bad has just happened, and i'm quietly getting a kick out of it. :twisted: my ex-girlfriend figured it out and she ended the relationship. she says it's because she fears me. i treated her like a princess, bought her flowers, had them sent to her place of employment, and never once spoke negatively toward her. i never once asked for anything in return. i am not that kind of person. with that relationship being up the creek without a paddle, it has reinforced my will to go on in life without ever marrying or having kids. as a matter of fact, i cannot stand kids and would prefer to come home to a silent home where i can be left alone for a few days.

it's amazing to me that i treated her with the utmost respect and it was also the shortest relationship i'd ever been in. i've treated the ladies in past relationships like they were a constant annoyance and a roadblock to what i wanted accomplished at the time being. those ones lasted longer. it makes absolutely no sense.

[Roadhog]

Syncrosonix...
I refer to an earlier post. I think it answers to the
femme bewilderment. They want honesty, yet embrace half-truths
in themselves. I'd call it drama...but they'd call it romance.
It's only because men are simple creatures, and single-minded, that
any of us get laid.

Garrrh... has anyone found an honest female driver out there?
As a contemporary-minded females, you find the rules of society unjust and male-centric!
And you will express this by complaining incessantly about corsets.

Arrrh... an honest woman would tell you, she loves to find fault in a man.
...if only I weren't so unforgivably bland...

Harrh harrr... you women wear corsets and when we clip the tethers,
your belly bulges out like opening a can of Pop'n Fresh.

Yarrh, you wake up in the mornin' and deny us a second helping of pie,
only because you don't like the way you look or smell in the morning,
but scold us with not being in the mood, when it's vanity.

Har yarr... I sez... make her wear corsets all the time! Mwa ha ha!

[Sizzle]

Ladies & Genetlemen:

I didn't care the thread got hijacked because I am in love and the birds are singing and the bells are ringing. I was rather blown away at the course the thread took. However, there are far more important things happening with me right now so I say "Have fun & enjoy picking each other apart."

Golfhobo

So.... the BALL is in YOUR court! You WANT to meet an honest trucker?? Let DOWN your defenses for a minute and make the first move!! If you end up having coffee with a JERK..... maybe it is YOU who needs to reconsider WHAT attracts you to a man!

Well Golf, I have to say that I did make the first move on my "new romance." He had pulled into the truck stop and looked over with a sh*t eating grin on his face @ me. I was b.s.ing away on the phone to a male driver friend of mine. When Steve came back out to leave I watched him drive out. I said to my male friend "hold on a minute I see this really cute driver. I am picky & I haven't seen a cute driver for at least a month [o.k. it could have been two months] and I need to say something to him." My friend's response, without skipping a beat, was "Wow, what a lucky guy you are picky and you picked him." [Of course, absolutely no sarcasm there folks!?!]

I called out to him on the radio, "Hey, XYZ [company name], how am I going to flirt with you if you leave?" He said, "I'm coming back." There was a drop deck a couple trucks down from me I happened to glance over to watch Steve come back in his KW9 and saw the drop deck-he was laughing his a** off. It was too funny!!!

When Steve returned, we were smiling from ear to ear and must have talked for at least 2-3 hrs. We separated that night for him to go pick up his load. I left in the morning to pick up my load and we were going to meet in Greensboro, N.C. He had to wait hours to get loaded. So I drove to the western part of the state that night. He came and met met me Tuesday morning. We drove all day together. Separated Wens. morning, reunited Wens night. Drove together Thursday and separated Friday. It's been quite a ride.

Golf, talk about taking chances.... I met someone for a snack one day in a TN truck stop who I only knew from the Net. So some of us do take chances once in a while. He was a very nice & funny guy. Although, we weren't really each other's types-I had a delightful conversation with him and I think he did with me?!?

I am not into the "bad boy treatment" as some of the guys keep thinking that women want that. I had that for 1/2 a life time with my ex. He verbally abused me often. He didn't realize he took me for granted until I was gone. "Oh well, too bad, sooooo sad." Imagine how ungrateful he was-a wife who did the yard work, house work [5,000 sq. ft.]. paid the bills and edited his daily work e-mails and he didn't realize he had it good? What a fool!!!! Oh well, it's just a lesson for those people who think that money rules-it doesn't happiness does. He had a great salary and I had a custom built 5,000 sq. ft. house. Big frickin deal-I was miserable. I am back in my 1,000 sq. ft. condo and thrilled to death to be away from "Mr. Ungrateful."

I definitely am not saying that being a driver beats having money. However, happiness far exceeds any amount of income that I gave up. Definitely living a much different lifestyle than I was accustomed to. He was a Professor and I was an Accountant.

Remember being loved by your significant other along with mutual interests, mutual respect, compatibility and honesty far exceed any amount of income you could possibly have. O.K. I'll step off the soap box now. 8)