Has anyone found an honest male driver out there?

[Rev.Vassago]

Women also rely hugely on subtle signals of body language, with which IMHO men are just not "wired" to comprehend. Just ask my husband!

I won't disagree with that, but at the same time, this can cause women to read things that aren't really there.

[4roses]

ME:

it would be good if anymore of the men cared to share without getting stupid or disrespectful on the subject.

Now Rev .... where in that did I say CONDESCENDING ?? .......... you totally took what I was saying the wrong way - - - which again proves my point - - Men and Woman talk and think 2 different ways. You see, I NEVER meant for it to come across the way you and hobo took it ! ..... But lets be honest here ~ there's way to many people that like to walk into a room and throw trash around to try and change the subject ~ which tells me they had/have nothing to add to the subject but just want to see their words on a post somewhere. .... As for ME, I really want to learn how Men think ..... I will never learn it all in my life time but if I can be enlightened a bit, maybe I could learn to talk to a Man in a way that I don't step on his ego and he'll understand me.

The bit I have read on your thoughts of this subject do interest me. I wish you would take the time to continue with your thoughts.

I can't change who I am, but would like to change my opinons as time goes by ~ I continuesly try to use words that express my thoughts without hurting someones ego or make others feel like I'm putting them down. Thats not what I'm about. So if you took what I said wrong ~ and clearly you DID ... it wasn't meant to be that way. Please accept my apologie.

[RebelDarlin]

A woman can say "This is what women want", and a guy can say "This is what guys want", but the fact is that not all women want the same things, just as all guys don't want the same things.

I can say with absolute certainty that as a guy, I can find a physically attractive woman extremely ugly based upon her personality, and vice versa. Eye candy only goes so far, and tends to get boring fast when there is no substance behind it. Sure - some guys are so shallow that all they are looking for is the next fling, but that certainly isn't all guys.

I also hold respect high on my standards list. I expect a woman to respect me, and I expect to do the same. If the woman is "talking down" to me, that is a major turnoff.

I think one of the most important things in looking at a mate is communication. Many women tend to say one thing, yet they mean another, or they don't tell you the whole story (and get mad when you don't "figure it out"). The last time I checked, I was not Miss Cleo, and so as a guy, I want a woman who will talk to me, and tell me what is wrong, or what is right, or what is indifferent.

As for this...I have had far too many men try to figure out what I really meant, when I said what I really meant!

I also hold high on my list the ability to carry on a conversation. After all, if you can't communicate with someone, then there will always be distance between you. Good grammar is always a plus. :wink:

I don't know if I'm different than most guys, and frankly I don't really care. All I know is what I look for, and I know that lumping men and women into "this is what they want" rarely works.

Hate to say I agree with you...but I do. If I can't have a conversation with someone, there's no point. And mutual respect should be a given. Eye candy is just that, nice to look at, but that's about it.

[4roses]

Reb ~ girl you make me laugh I sometimes forget that I'm from the south ... (some would disagree) ... where I grew up that phrase was used often.

As for what to do when someone "melts my butter" (never heard that one before),

......... I love to hear the way people talk from the east coast to the west ... everyone has something different to add.

[RebelDarlin]

Reb ~ girl you make me laugh I sometimes forget that I'm from the south ... (some would disagree) ... where I grew up that phrase was used often.

As for what to do when someone "melts my butter" (never heard that one before),

......... I love to hear the way people talk from the east coast to the west ... everyone has something different to add.

Me too, and this sounds a lot better than "he's hot..."

[Rev.Vassago]

Now Rev .... where in that did I say CONDESCENDING ?? ..........

I never claimed you said it.

you totally took what I was saying the wrong way - - - which again proves my point - - Men and Woman talk and think 2 different ways. You see, I NEVER meant for it to come across the way you and hobo took it !

Uh huh.

..... But lets be honest here ~ there's way to many people that like to walk into a room and throw trash around to try and change the subject ~ which tells me they had/have nothing to add to the subject but just want to see their words on a post somewhere. .... As for ME, I really want to learn how Men think ..... I will never learn it all in my life time but if I can be enlightened a bit, maybe I could learn to talk to a Man in a way that I don't step on his ego and he'll understand me.

Judging by this:

Men want the female to look like a barbie doll ~ even after she has had 2 or more children. ....

What I think a Man wants from a lady/female .... is someone who would play around no matter how many females he has on the hook. ........ After all - it's only physical with most men. Right ? .....

You seem to have your mind made up already.

[golfhobo]

it would be good if anymore of the men cared to share without getting stupid or disrespectful on the subject.

Now Rev .... where in that did I say CONDESCENDING ?? .......... you totally took what I was saying the wrong way - - - which again proves my point - - Men and Woman talk and think 2 different ways. You see, I NEVER meant for it to come across the way you and hobo took it ! .....

Roses:

He didn't say YOU said "condescending," he said that what you SAID was "condescending."

Men want the female to look like a barbie doll ~ even after she has had 2 or more children. ....

What I think a Man wants from a lady/female .... is someone who would play around no matter how many females he has on the hook. ........ After all - it's only physical with most men. Right ? .....

This quote shows LITTLE "respect" for men. And THAT was his point. None of YOU want to be "lumped" into one pot..... yet, that's what you did. Of course..... you DID say "I think.."

This is along the lines of what I said earlier about "acting like a toy," or blowing smoke. If you approach men with this attitude, you will "play" one way or the other, depending on what YOU are looking for. But, by doing so.... you deny US the respect of allowing that we MIGHT be looking for something ELSE in a woman.

You don't have to pout.... but you DO have to go sit in the corner!

[4roses]

... me going to my corner ..

[golfhobo]

Reb said:

In regards to hobos comment about making them "play games" and act like Ward Cleaver, well...sex is not something I even think about unless there is some "connection" already established, so it isn't a game, it's a natural progression. He is right however about looking for the guy who ISN'T paying attention, those are the ones who intrigue me.

What I said was, don't make us play Ward Cleaver, if you're LOOKING for a Cowboy. First, don't assume for one minute that in the 50's men didn't look to "score" right away. But, if YOU aren't looking for a "relationship" don't make us act like WE are just so you'll feel better about "giving it up."

YOUR case may be completely different. I was "specifically" talking about the games people play.

In the FEW times that I visit a bar ( :shock: ) I often sit quietly at one end or the other. I WATCH people, both men and women. I can tell which women are playing games, and which are honest. Sometimes, the men are gathered around her like a pack of wolves. Sometimes, they come one at a time. Either way, it is HER actions/words that indicate what type of woman she is. Sometimes, she knows I'm watching..... usually, she doesn't. If I want her to know, she knows. What SHE does next, is up to her. If she migrates to one of the pack, she gets what she is looking for. But, if she looks at me more than twice.... she's mine.

Does she think I'm Ward?? I doubt it. But, she knows I will give her her "space," and she knows I am not looking for "easy." A "connection" has already been made. After that.... getting to know each other is easy.

[Rev.Vassago]

Men want the female to look like a barbie doll ~ even after she has had 2 or more children. ....

What I think a Man wants from a lady/female .... is someone who would play around no matter how many females he has on the hook. ........ After all - it's only physical with most men. Right ? .....

This quote shows LITTLE "respect" for men. And THAT was his point. None of YOU want to be "lumped" into one pot..... yet, that's what you did. Of course..... you DID say "I think.."

This is along the lines of what I said earlier about "acting like a toy," or blowing smoke. If you approach men with this attitude, you will "play" one way or the other, depending on what YOU are looking for. But, by doing so.... you deny US the respect of allowing that we MIGHT be looking for something ELSE in a woman.

You know, I think you are off base here.

I am of the opinion that when you are looking for a certain type of person, you are blind to most people who don't fit that criteria. 4Roses has clearly said that she believes all men are only in it for the sex, and that they will jump ship if they can. Therefore, that is the kind of guy she sees (and possibly the kind of guy she attracts). It is likely she is oblivious to the rest of us who aren't like that.

Now before you get all upset at what I just said, let me further it by saying that the same would hold true for men. If men believe that the only attractive woman is the "barbie doll" looking woman, then that is what they see. It is irrelevant if they aren't capable of attracting that type of woman, and it may even prevent them from finding someone who is actually compatible with them.

Therefore, it is my opinion that the guy who wants to "prove" he isn't like that isn't even noticed, because in her mind, that isn't what a guy is like. Kind of like the "girls go for the bad boy" to an extreme.

Just a theory.

[Slimland]

Ok I am bored, so I thought I would stop back by and see what was being said.. Hope y'all don't mind!?

If I may spell incorectly a bunch of things I would like to speak upon the subject.

I seem to think more along the lines of The Rev..- I too like eye candy, but there are alot of times when they speak or act, they are no longer attractive. But I have also seen many a women, who where not say so good looking. But left a long lasting great impression on me, and it wasn't cause they sat on me either.. They where just great people, and very pleasant to be around..

Over the years I have noticed my tast changing. As I get older, I tend to look at the younger women, but long for the more my age. Someone who like Rev said can carry on a conversation! Not someone who talks fast about nothing and likes' to much chewing gum.

Yes I am married, but I am a man. I have a wife that is very attractive phisicaly and mentaly. But does this stop me from looking, NO.. Do I feel bad? NO WHY? because, we are sexual creatur's, and that is what God made us to be.. I am honest with my wife, and I think that makes a big diffrence. She knows I look, and at times flirt. without any intent on following through.. Matter of fact, if I get a bit. I back off quickly, for one I love my wife, for two, I now know that my ego has been satisfied, and the woman is no longer that attractive to me.. Don't know why. I guess it is because, if she is willing to be with someone like me, she don't have very high standards..

I find the mind, the best playground for mischief.. and as long as it stays on the playground, it is your poison. once you let the playground become reality, then you hurt others..

As a young man, I thought like a young man.. As a older man, I think as a younger man, but with caution to not let the thinking become reality.

Would it hurt my feelings or ego if my wife thought the same as I?
When I was younger yes, but now I am older and understand things a little more, It don't bother me one bit.. I realy don't care where she gets her apitite, just as long as she knows where to eat at, and thats at home..
We always play like where trying to give eachother away. We are married 11 years and we sound like it.

Slimland

[golfhobo]

This is along the lines of what I said earlier about "acting like a toy," or blowing smoke. If you approach men with this attitude, you will "play" one way or the other, depending on what YOU are looking for. But, by doing so.... you deny US the respect of allowing that we MIGHT be looking for something ELSE in a woman.

You know, I think you are off base here.

I am of the opinion that when you are looking for a certain type of person, you are blind to most people who don't fit that criteria. 4Roses has clearly said that she believes all men are only in it for the sex, and that they will jump ship if they can. Therefore, that is the kind of guy she sees (and possibly the kind of guy she attracts). It is likely she is oblivious to the rest of us who aren't like that.

Now before you get all upset at what I just said, let me further it by saying that the same would hold true for men. If men believe that the only attractive woman is the "barbie doll" looking woman, then that is what they see. It is irrelevant if they aren't capable of attracting that type of woman, and it may even prevent them from finding someone who is actually compatible with them.

Therefore, it is my opinion that the guy who wants to "prove" he isn't like that isn't even noticed, because in her mind, that isn't what a guy is like. Kind of like the "girls go for the bad boy" to an extreme.

Just a theory.

Upset?? Heck.... I'm amazed!

First, I'm not sure Roses actually believes that, but I have made the point YOU did at least once before.

However, I agree that one at least "looks for" the type of woman/man they SEE as being ideal. And, yes.... it often causes them to miss out on the really GOOD ones! (and the part about it being irrelevant was genius!)

I guess what "I" was saying is that if a woman THINKS we are looking for a ****, she may PLAY that part to get our attention. If she thinks we are looking for a MATE... she may play THAT game. Either way, she is ASSUMING what we are all about, and not respecting that we might be about something entirely different.

Once she starts playing the 'game,' we have no idea what she is REALLY like, and she "teaches" us how to react to her that night, and any attempt on our part to PROVE we are different goes by the wayside. I don't want to be "told" I am the sexiest guy in the place, if I KNOW differently. And, if a woman thinks I am looking for a sex toy, and ACTS like one, when I am NOT.... I MAY play along with the game, but I will have lost all respect for HER and I will TREAT her in the way she is acting. [not to be confused with that "sensual woman" that stares me into the ground!]

I KNOW what it is like to try to prove you are different, only to be ignored. And SOME of those ladies MIGHT have been looking for one like me. But, the games they play, BECAUSE they think they know what we want, is what ruins it. That's life!

Yeah, I may STILL be "off base." Maybe, I dont know what I'm talking about..... maybe, I just can't explain it. But, I don't think I am SO different from ALOT of men on this board, because I have heard them speak of their wives in the manner I mentioned earlier. And I doubt they are ALL "Barbie Dolls." :wink:

Anyway.... I gotta go out tonight and take a new partner AND a DOG to Washington state! I MAY bring the DOG back home!

Wait a minute!! Was HE talking to ME?? :shock: Like a HUMAN?? :shock: Hmm...... I'll have to wait to find out! Slim.... You're a BAD BOY!! I hope they don't crucify you before I get back!

Hobo

[Slimland]

Yeah, I may STILL be "off base." Maybe, I dont know what I'm talking about..... maybe, I just can't explain it. But, I don't think I am SO different from ALOT of men on this board, because I have heard them speak of their wives in the manner I mentioned earlier. And I doubt they are ALL "Barbie Dolls." :wink:



Wait a minute!! Was HE talking to ME?? :shock: Like a HUMAN?? :shock: Hmm...... I'll have to wait to find out! Slim.... You're a BAD BOY!! I hope they don't crucify you before I get back!

Hobo

[/quot

I don't think either one of you are off base at all.. I understand both of you compleetly, and by both of you, I mean you Hobo, and The Rev.

I think it was on another thread, but this discussion came up once befor. Along the same context but a little diffrent..

As for me being A BAD Boy. I have to agree! I am plauged by my own poison. But that is my cross to bear, my thorn in my side.. For I find the things I don't want to do, well that is what I end up doing..

I am just honest about it..! :shock:

Since you Brought up games that women play.. I too cannot stand them.. And I REfuse to play them.. Pisses my wife off, Oh well -- She can get happy, in the same pants she got mad in. Whats wrong? Nothing-- So I act like nothing is wrong.. What do you want to eat? Nothing I am not hungry! :evil: Ok, I eat and she gets mad.. I laugh Makes her madder, she will go to bed and not eat.. THe next day, why didn't you feed me last night? "I asked you what you wanted" My reply.. CANT READ THE MIND!

Hmm-- Bring the hammer and nails.. awe never mind this is Texas, bring the Rope!

Tried to put a pic. but wont work for some reason!


Here Hangs Slim!
A bunch of Women, where pissed at Him!

[wildkat]

Naw Slim, at least I'm not gonna hang ya! I find your honesty refreshing.

My husband & I have been married 10 years now, 2nd time round for both of us, so we were older when we married. We don't play games, we are open & honest with each other, we talk to each other ALOT, about literally everything, he is my best friend. True, he looks, but he sure as heck don't touch, he comes home for that! I'm no beauty, & I seriously doubt my looks attracted him anyway! We were friends long before we ever became involved, we connect on so many levels, that sometimes words are not needed, we seem to be an extension of one another. Do I look, you bet! I enjoy eye candy as much as the next guy or gal. And now that I'm pushing 50, I find the younger ones just don't cut the mustard anymore...buncha air-heads!, Nice to look at, but nuthin b'tween the ears! I'd rather look at mature men & most certainly like to talk to them...

I'm lucky in many respects as my other 1/2 understands that working in a world of 99% men, it is a given that the majority of my friends are men as well, he knows where I draw the line! And, that I would NEVER cross it! Once, a few years back, I was propsitioned about a one-nighter, my response went like this "Why would I jepardize everything I have for a roll in the hay with you, when it would likely not be 1/4 as good as what I have at home?" Needless to say...he had no answer & left me be!

[4roses]

since I've been told to go set in the corner I won't say to much right now .... but it's funny how you guys have decided to make up your mind on WHAT you think I think ...... I was generalizing earlier when I said what I thought males wanted.

[RebelDarlin]

since I've been told to go set in the corner I won't say to much right now .... but it's funny how you guys have decided to make up your mind on WHAT you think I think ...... I was generalizing earlier when I said what I thought males wanted.

Oops Double post

[RebelDarlin]

since I've been told to go set in the corner I won't say to much right now .... but it's funny how you guys have decided to make up your mind on WHAT you think I think ...... I was generalizing earlier when I said what I thought males wanted.

It's ok Roses, I understood what you were trying to say, including the sarcasm with which some of it was said.

[Rev.Vassago]

since I've been told to go set in the corner I won't say to much right now .... but it's funny how you guys have decided to make up your mind on WHAT you think I think ...... I was generalizing earlier when I said what I thought males wanted.

It's ok Roses, I understood what you were trying to say, including the sarcasm with which some of it was said.

Sarcasm does not travel well through the written word, when not accompanied by the appropriate smilie.

[4roses]

[RebelDarlin]

since I've been told to go set in the corner I won't say to much right now .... but it's funny how you guys have decided to make up your mind on WHAT you think I think ...... I was generalizing earlier when I said what I thought males wanted.

It's ok Roses, I understood what you were trying to say, including the sarcasm with which some of it was said.

Sarcasm does not travel well through the written word, when not accompanied by the appropriate smilie.

Agreed :wink: