Hello All!

[20Girl]

Hello!

Just signed up on this site...and wanted to say Hi! I'm an outta work architectural drafter and recent divorce victim who needs a life change! I'm going to talk to Roadmaster tomorrow and see what my options are...but I have been lurking on this site for some time now and have learned alot about what to ask a recruiter, how life is on the road, and what little things a lady needs to have in her truck! Much thanks for the info...this is a really good site!

I definitely want to bring my "furr-kid" on the road with me...and wanted to inquire as to known companies that allow pets. Also, I'm hoping to bring her with me while in training at whatever company I choose...but that does seem to be impossible. Is it?[/color]

[4roses]

welcome to the site ..... ... be sure and ask ALL the companys about you bringing your pet with you while in training. Honestly ... I've never heard of that being approved, because your stepping into another person's home on wheels and generally they don't have pets either. To much time in used just to learn the profession. Either way ... good luck. If you do find a company that will approve your pet while in training ... let us know so we can share this with others down the road. :wink:
Again .. Welcome

[ladykatrina]

hi 20girl and good luck with your training with a pet, I think you will have some trouble finding a place that will let you bring a pet which I assume is a dog, along on the training. I too found this site to be very helpful in providing first hand knowledge about what to expect from a career in trucking. I will not be pursuing this as a career this year but I am not writing it off either. its just not the right thing for me at this moment. I have my mom to house and care for right now and need to be home everyday. again, good luck with your new potential career.

kate

[WildK9]

Welcome to the site. Nice avatar! :wink:

BOL

[20Girl]

Thanks for the welcome!! I have decided to hold off a little longer on committing to trucking. The amount required for school...and (like ladykatrina) I too have elderly parents that really need me around. But I haven't written it off...just trying to scrape by a little longer...and get a little more savings in the bank...and help my folks decide what they want to do.

I will also need to find someone to care for my pooch for several weeks while in training...as I'm sure I won't be able to bring her with me.

But I intend to keep up on this site and utilize all the helpful info here! I will be chatting with ya!!

[ladykatrina]

I know what you mean 20girl having responsibilities that keep you tied down when you just want to run away..I guess thats what appeals to me about driving a truck, being able to get away...I've spent the last 2 months wrestling with this decision and have a second interview with a local manufacturing plant next wednesday. when I left my last factory job I swore I'd never work another but here I go again. maybe someday you and I will meet on the road somewhere!

[Sizzle]

Hey Gals,

Good luck with your decisions to accept other positions. I'm sure it's difficult to leave your parents that are in need at this time of their lives. I chose trucking and haven't regretted it. My parents both turned 70 lately, but are in good health and are wealthy so can afford any care they'll need.

I'm not talking to my parents at present because they vehemently disagree with me trucking. It's too bad that they don't see that their only daughter and oldest child is happy for the first time in decades. All they see is that I gave up a huge custom built home with a wealthy husband and went trucking. They didn't live the horrible marriage I lived. I always respect people who actually get along with their parents and are looking out for them. So good luck gals.

I wish my parents would realize that it isn't shameful that their daughter chose to be a trucker over being an accountant with a wealthy husband. MONEY TRULY DOESN'T BUY HAPPINESS. I know everyone who hasn't had it thinks it does. All is does is make it easier to pay bills. You don't have to rob from Peter to pay Paul. That's all it did for me.

I had a loveless marriage that was over years before it ended. He was a workaholic and didn't appreciate me until I was gone. He remarried within two years. I couldn't believe it. No, he wasn't "fooling around" as everyone has asked me. He met Wife #2 from mutual friends in Europe. Obviously, couldn't be screwing around when we lived in Misery [Oops, did I say that outloud?-Missouri]. I asked him why he got remarried so soon and he said, "because it was the worst two years of his life."'

I realized right then and there that it was the best two years of my life so I knew the divorce was great for me. He didn't even know how to get to FedEx in a 14,000 population town after 13 years because his wife always went to FedEx for him. He had never done a load of laundry by age 47. How's that for spoiling an ungrateful husband? Boy, have I learned.

If I ever get married again it will be to someone who is my equal. I don't want another man I have to mother. No Thanks.

Oops got off on a tangent. Good luck gals. It's the best decision I ever made for myself. I love it. Hate my company and will be changing within the next month. But love trucking. 8)

[ladykatrina]

got off on a tangent?..perhaps, but it was still interesting and it just makes me pause to think for a moment about perceptions and how great things look when you see a woman wearing 3000 bucks worth of clothes driving her audi TT and living in a big house where the only 'work' she does all day is boss her maid around. I write from experience as I have worked for these women and they are all teribbly unhappy and bitter...I envy them their money and not having to worry about where their next meal is coming from and I stop envying them the moment their husband gives me a look or hits on me...I cleaned houses for years, I could tell stories all day long about how shallow and insipid these people are and how self-absorbed they are and how clueless they are about real life. sizzle, you say you come from money but inside you all those years was a 'real' person trying to get out..I for one applaud you and respect you for doing what you did. not many of us could have walked away from the lifestyle you gave up! :? ..I have spent a lot of time looking for a man like your former husband...who would let me live the good life...after reading your post here I wonder about my ideas of what the good life really is...the grass is always greener....pick your cliche...theres nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone who takes you for granted or is never there...

[Sizzle]

Well Lady Katrina,

Thank you for your compliment. I'm telling you Lady, I was so lonely. I used to make myself busy all day. Got into yard work and had one of the nicest yards in the neighborhood. Most people in the neighborhood had yard professionals doing their yards. They'd stop and ask me how my yard looked so nice. I'd say Scott's. It is definitely the "secret" to a beautiful green yard. We planted flowering bushes and trees so the yard had blooms most of the summer.

I'd hate to see the yard now. 6 months after my departure, I went back to move my stuff and the yard looked like hell. He bought a sit down lawn mower which has a tendency to yank the grass out by it roots and the yard had spotted "brown spots" on it. I hope there's even a yard left at this point 6 years later. Funny how he bought a sit down mower when he mowed and I could mow 4-5 hours standing up. Although, it's better for the grass, I probably wouldn't have used the sit down anyway. The bushes needed trimming and my "English Garden" was almost dead. Probably enitrely dead now!!!

Yeah, I thought I wanted the same thing-comfortable lifestyle. However, even though that would be nice I want a man who loves me and wants to spend time with me. Not some damn workaholic who only knows his job and doesn't understand the female who does everything for him to enable to be at work all the time. SIGH!!!

It's much more rewarding to take care of yourself. Trust me Ladies-it is. You're not beholding to anyone. Perhaps someday I'll find that Knight In Shining Armor. In the meantime, I'm having a hell of a ride. Nice to know that men find me attractive when I was emotionally abused for several years. Realized after the fact, it was his way of "keeping me down" so I wouldn't stray on him. Didn't think men would ever look at me again. Still amazed when someone half my age hits on me. I look 15-20 years younger than I am. Hate lying about my age. I need to say 29 and holding.

Remember it's what's inside that counts more than outside. Although, our society is shallow and puts more value on the outside appearance. When you treat others well you will get it back.

[cmegobye]

I can really relate to this post topic. I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for 17 years. I was committed to the relationship but he kept forgetting he was married. I look back on those years and just wish I'd wised up much sooner. I came home one day and told him "I'm going to make you happier beyond your dreams today" as I handed him the divorce papers. "These will allow you to be single at last". He couldn't believe it. BEST MOVE I EVER MADE. I've been trucking for 13 years and they hve been very rewarding. I can not even think of being finacially beholden to a man again in my life.

[RebelDarlin]

Me Three! Maybe it helped make us all strong enough, and independent enough to do this crazy job!

[Sizzle]

Hey Ladies,

I had a nice message that took several minutes t o type in response to the last two Ladies posts. Would you believe that I reached up to get something and hit the delete button? I couldn't even get it back by hitting the back arrow. SIGH!!! Let's see if I can reconstruct some of that message....

It was so nice hearing from other women who have gone through dead marriages. Ladies don't beat yourselves for staying too long. Most of us were brought up to be successful at what we do. Therefore, the one thing that we really want to work is our marriages. We usually end up staying too long because we keep hoping "it will work out."

You know it's better to try to make it work than to just let it go. We all know that. However, some of us stay way too long hoping for the best. My marriage was dead probably at least 6 years before it was finally over. I have two friends now in the same place I was in 6 years ago. It's excruciating to see them going through exactly what I went through 6 years ago.

They both have kids and that's what seems to keep people together longer. I chose never to have kids. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. I knew from a young age that I never wanted any children. Although, one of my friends has grown kids. I wish she'd realize that life is too short to "hang tough" in a dead marriage. She's so afraid of being alone she won't let it go. The other one is so used to being "emotionally abused" I don't think she can possibly muster the strength to leave. She hasn't worked most of her life and is worried about being able to support herself. Get your Engineering Husband to pay Alimony. I wish I'd done that now. I gave up a lucrative career as an Accountant to support his career in the backwoods of Missouri.

I regret everyday that I didn't take alimony. Let's face it how much is giving up a career worth-certainly at least Alimony. I just never believed in it. Now I do, now that I've chosen to be a driver making much less than I would back as an Accountant. I stayed up many nights typing his papers while he was obtaining his Master's and Doctorate degrees. SIGH!!

Oh well, life is much brighter now. I'm fighting for my job as I type this. Not sure it's worth it. Long story short-I left last year couldn't find better benefits and came back. The idiots are trying to get all the drivers to sign forms saying they'll idle at only 28%. They should be ashamed of themselves drivers are going to die in the extreme heat and cold. They must have decided that the impending lawsuits from deaths would be far lower in dollar amounts than the profit they'll make by low idling. Class Acts for sure. Remember what goes around comes around. You can't give bad and not eventually get it back.

Happy trails Ladies.... 8)

[bluegrassdeb]

Hey Gals, Been in the same boat. Never married a rich man but a controlling SOB. I had three little girls and struggled for a long, long time. It is still a man's world. I didn't drive a truck then. I think one of the reason's driving a truck seemed good to me is I can make as much money as a man. Alot of jobs still get took by the men at the places I've worked. I mean the better paying jobs, etc. It is still not fair for the most part the way women are treated. There are not alot of jobs anymore where a person can make the kind of money you can in trucking with only a few months education learning how to do it. Sizzle, you did the right thing leaving your ex. LIke I said my ex was not rich but I never saw him. He was too busy to spend time with me and our children. Even though the divorce was the most difficult thing I ever went through I know its was the best thing for me at that time and today I would of done the same thing. I have no regrets except for marrying the jerk in the first place. For the first time in my life I feel I have job secuity. The job market for drivers is great. Sizzle don't mess with that company to long. There are lots of other companies that will treat you right. Sort of like the time we have wasted on dead end marragies. You just gotta move on sometimes.

[Sizzle]

Thank you BlueGrassDeb for your advice. Glad to hear that you like trucking. You're correct about the same pay for both sexes. Even though I have degrees I'm sure if I stayed an Accountant that men probably even make more over there.

I'm seriously considering leaving my job. Had to go get another Doctor's note today to FedEx to Exec. up the ladder so they will leave me alone about the idling fiasco. I'm sure if they want to get rid of me along with the "high idlers" they'll come up with something else.

My boss thinks that they should leave me alone but we'll see... Yes, I should go but I have a brand new truck and great benefits. I keep trying to make myself realize that I've given up alot of sanity for that new truck though.

Not sure what will happen but know that I'll have a good idea how things will go this next time out. If it's not looking good, I'll leave. I got hired by every company I applied to last summer when I left before.
8)

Sizzle

[ladykatrina]

hey sizzle, your comment about not wanting kids hit me between the eyes...I too decided when I was young that I was not cut out to be a parent..BUT..you would not believe how much other women judge you for feeling this way...or maybe you would...some of us just don't have the temperament or the patience to do a good job with kids....I know my dad didnt..I just wish more people would be honest with themselves about what they really want from life before having kids. it would stop a lot of bad childhoods. most of my female friends are married with kids...okay, I am happy for them...but its nice to leave their houses and all the chaos when I leave to come home.

[Sizzle]

LadyKatrina,

You are absolutely correct about people judging those of us who are "without children". But hey, I'm thrilled. Just like you said, it's so nice to leave the chaos after you visit. My best friend has a 20 year old that's still at home. She is a spoiled rotten brat and is always causing some kind of chaos.

My cousin has a 19 year old that acts like he's 40 but will never leave because she'll never let him leave. He hasn't even gotten his license yet and is such a Wus won't stand up for himself. I tried for years to stand up for him but he'd back down every down she'd get her dander up. I finally realized the kid had to do his own dirty work. He won't; therefore, I don't feel sorry for him anymore. His father died of cancer before he was born and she clings on to the poor thing let he's a life raft. I'm afraid he'll never leave due to her be overbearing. I hope the best for him but don't see it happening. Although, I'm sure I sound judgemental I don't usually say anything to them.

I totally agree with you about people who shouldn't have had children. My Mom is one of them-at least not having a daughter. She can't relate to me if you gave her "A How To" manual. I've tried for years and simply realized that since she had a miserable relationship with her Mother she can't seem to have a clue how to relate to me. She's very non-independent and makes me feel bad because I am independent. I think if I had children I would want them to be independent. She makes it sound like a disease or something. Gee, I don't know how I became that way when she shagged my All Star Baseball Brothers from game to game and I was left to fend for myself. UM!!

My ex-husband was afraid we'd be lonely in our old age without children. I used to say, "you can't guarantee they'll come around when you're old and gray." I wouldn't doubt it if he got marred for time #2 to a younger woman so he could finally have children.

We're not selfish as everyone tries to infer. We just know that just because you can procreate doesn't mean you should. I wish more people who think about that before they bring children into the world and either sexually, physically or emotionally abuse them. The societal pressure is so high to procreate that people don't stop sometimes and figure out if in fact they really want children. It's too bad-there's way too many "throw away children." O.K. end of sermon.

Good Day Ladies!!! 8)

[bluegrassdeb]

Lady Katrina, If it weren't for my grandbabies I would not of cared if I ever had kids. I know that sounds cold but I've had some really bad stuff happen with my kids in their adult lives that has hurt me beyond all understanding. It's too much for me to go into for it hurts to much to even talk about. But don't feel bad you girls for not wanting children. If a man came along that you felt you really connected with I'm sure you'd feel different. I didn't really love my girls dad and it turned out that they act more like him than me for the most part. He was a mean person and I hate to say it but all but one of my daughters acts just like him. I couldn't begin to tell you the tears I have shed over my children. I think now in my older yrs. that a man and woman truely must be crazy in love and respect each other in order to have off spring that will give them even an ounce of joy. Sizzle, If your reading this, I know lots of times I have had to give up something that meant alot to me thinking it would be impossible to replace. I can't think of two many times, even though I just posted lots of pain etc. from my kids, that God did not replace whatever I gave up with something better. I hope you all could follow my line of thinking here. In other words, in everything except my relationship with my daughters if I was patient and said ok God you take control i have been blessed. I do however have a son who is not grown yet who may end up making me a proud mom someday. Right now though he has went thru a faze over the last yr. or two. I think he is coming out of it. But it was pure hell too. I can't go into it but believe me if I could I would have you all saying I'm going to go get fixed.

[Sizzle]

BlueGrassDeb:

I'm glad that you've realized the Grandkids are your "Saving Grace". Everyone that I know that has Grandkids seems to think that. I'll never know what it would have been like to have children, because the one person I think I might have considered having them with left the country. I never realized that I loved him until he was gone. When he returned he had a wife. I've always wondered how my life would have turned out if I had realized it before he left.

When I finally realized I was in love with two people at the same time it was too late. I had met my husband prior to "the love of my life". When the "love of my life" left the country my ex-husband returned to Tucson-where I lived at the time. The "love of my life" returned married and I left to live with my ex for 3 1/2 years before we got married. I probably had a more "financially wealthy" marriage with the one I married and shouldn't have. However, the other marriage would have probably been filled with love, mutual respect and mutual interests. We were always together and people used to joke that we were connected at the hip.

I wish I could have at least said goodbye to him. I always thought he'd come back and we'd continue on. Little did I know his family had other plans. Long story short he was from a culture where the family picks the bride. They knew he was serious with me and wouldn't let him return without having a bride in tow. They were afraid that he'd never return back to his country if he married an American. His Uncle had come over State Side to visit and realized how close we were. I'm sure he took that news back to his parents and the rest is history. Never got to talk to him again. SIGH!!! I know he was miserable because I passed him on the street one day in a friend's van. He always had a huge smile on his face and he looked SO SAD. He didn't see me and I almost stopped to tell him in front of her that I made a horrible mistake and that I loved him. But I didn't think it would have been fair to her. She was an innocent child picked to marry him. We were both in our early 20s and she was a teenager.

I knew before "the love of my lifes" returned that he had to marry this gal. His Birthday was exactly one week to the day before mine in Sept. I wanted to pay back his family for doing this to us. I had a friend call the Bride's familys' home and tell them to wish him a Happy Birthday. I'm sure the future Mother in Law didn't know who I was. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when she told her "soon to be son in law" that his girlfriend wished him a Happy Birthday.

Yes, I know vindictiveness isn't the way to go. But that was particularly horrifying that a family would be so selfish as to get in between us.

O.K. now back to reality! 8)

[bluegrassdeb]

Sizzle, How long ago was it that you and that fellow were together? He might be divorced or widowed by now. Do you have a way of finding out? You hear stories about people getting together after years and years. You should try and find out. You never know!