OTR Girl Stuff....

[gigi_roxx]

Greetings Ladies. As I am getting ready to begin my new career as a newbie solo OTR truck driver, I'm starting to get curious about a few things. I find all sorts of "manly" info about what to bring on the road and such. But I wanna hear about a few "female" specifics from the girls.

What makes your life easier on the road?

How is it for those of your running OTR (either solo or team) to keep up with your daily "hygine" routine?

Currently, every morning I clean my face with good old fashioned soap and water, use an astringent for deep cleaning, then slather on a good SPF 15 moisturizer. I'm not a make-up kinda girl so that's not a problem for me. But I'm wondering, what sort of items do you use to keep up your lovely lady appearances without taking too many procucts along for the ride?

Also, I know I will spend more hours a day in the seated position once I'm on the road. How much of a problem with the dreaded "hemoroids" have any of you had? I know that's not a question that anyone really wants to answer.... so please feel free to be as vague as possible and perhaps even relate to "your friend" who had the problem. LOL
Thanks in advance!!

[armadillo]

Hey G-ROX,
Im home everynite but have spent alot of in a truck. First of all dont use just plain ol soap for your face. Yuke! get a good cleaner. Soap is all bad!!we all know what it does to the walls in the shower. Try and use a liquid that is more naturally made. Clean towels are a must for face. Then buy lots of wipies, they are awesome. They have "girlie" ones too. For the vajayjay..The baby wipes take asphalt off my hands, so they will clean just about anything. I just pack a girlie bag (size of a backpack)and place it where I can reach it. I supply it w/ everything from makeup to deo to a clean shirt. And everything is available in the cute lil travel size ('')

I also bought a med size- first aid kit -and put it in there. Place a bottled water in there too. Ya never know..As for hems...Ive never gotten any, can help ya there.

[4roses]

Truck stops, rest areas, warehouse restrooms and other public
restrooms are dirty and germy places. Because women's personal needs
are vastly different than a man's, there are various ways women can
make their life on the road easier.

BODY POWDER: This item in and of itself is one of the most useful
items you can use. Did you know that sprinkling a little powder in
your hair will freshen it between washes? Sprinkling a little powder
on your sheets or sleeping bag will freshen cold, stiff sheets.
Sprinkling powder in your shoes will help absorb moisture and using
antibacterial powder in your socks after stepping out of a public
shower will help deter foot fungus.

BODY LOTION: Temperatures and air quality change as you travel. Air
in the higher elevations can dry your skin quickly. Using your body
lotion before and after you head over the higher elevations will keep
your skin from itching.

BOTTLES: Keep shampoos, conditioners and other bottled toiletries
inside a separate zipper–seal bag. Air pressure changes cause the
pressure in your bottles to pop open the lids. By keeping them in a
plastic baggie you can avoid a big mess later. Avoid pump style
toothpaste, as the pressure inside the bottle will force toothpaste
out of the flip top lid.

STAY COMPACT: It is easier to use and refill travel–size bottles of
shampoo, conditioner, hair gel, etc., than to carry a bag of full–
size, heavy items. One full–size hair dryer is nearly three times
heavier than the smaller, compact type. It is a reality that shower
lines can be long. An 8–10 pound shower bag can get very heavy after
holding it for a half hour or more.

DEODORIZER/ANTIBACTERIALS: You will shower in a public shower.
You "assume" that the janitor did his job. But what if he didn't? You
don't know who was in there ahead of you. It would be to your
advantage to carry a can of deodorizer or antibacterial spray for the
shower and floor area. Foot fungus is prevalent in public showers and
is very contagious. Antibacterial wipes are an excellent idea when
using the restroom in a rest area as well.

BABY WIPES: Baby wipes are a must. Many brands now have soap wipes
using your favorite brand of soap! Just use and throw away. No water,
no mess. There may be days when getting a shower will not be
possible. In these instances, wipes are very handy. They also have
millions of uses in a truck such as cleaning up sticky messes from
spilled soda, or cleaning dirt or fifth wheel grease and grime off
your hands. The uses of baby wipes are endless!

PORT–A–POTTIES: No woman driver needs to go without a port–a–potty.
Most of them are small and have easy cleanup. The investment, while a
little steep at first, will be worth its weight in gold when you are
unable to find a restroom! .. Another opinion is to buy a small trash can - double bag it and put a cup of cat litter in the bottom of it. When you get to a trash can you can tight it up and throw it away. Once you fine a place to sleep at night - you don't want to get out in the wee hours to walk to the restroom ... Not A Good thing to do !

Think about all the different things you do each day to get ready ... make a note of it - then stock your tractor with these things ...

Now for a list of things that you will use on the truck...

Several changes of clothes (bring clothes appropriate for both warm and
cool weather) Yes :wink: the weather can change fast from one coast to the other ...
Extra underwear and socks
One jacket
One rain poncho
Sunglasses .. 1 dark lens one ... and 1 light lens one
One pair of safety boots
One pair of tennis shoes
One pair of work gloves
Flashlight ... extra batteries
Sheets and light blanket
Pillow
Toiletry and shower items in a separate, small knapsack or duffle bag
Two pens
Ruler
Spiral notebook for taking notes
Laundry soap - I personally like liquid because the lid keeps it in place.
Extra bag for dirty clothes storage
Tools ...
5th wheel pull
screw drivers ... both kinds
black electrical tape
Small tool box ... I bought a cheap one at walley world for around 5.00 .. it goes in the side box out of your way.

There's a long list of tools to keep handy - which you may only use once or twice every now and then ... but when you need them - it's best to have them.

OUPSSSSSsssss .... I didn't mean for this to be soooooo long sorry 8)

[gigi_roxx]

Thanks a bunch ladies! That's a great list by the way, for4roses. Very thorough!

I'm so excited... I know that might sound crazy, but I really truly am! This is something I've been wanting to do for quite a few years... about 8 now actually... and now I'm finally doing it! Well... about to do it!

The school I'm attending has been great and we're half way through... this week we start actually driving the trucks! I hope I pick it up pretty easy. I've master most other mechanical driving devices...

Wish me luck!

[Sizzle]

I must say that for4roses has probably covered the bases. Although, we all have our preferances on things. I must say carry every imaginable wipe known to human kind. Handy wipes/Baby wipes, feminine wipes and I also carry Oxy to clean my face and ears inside and out when it isn't my shower day. That way you still feel fresh by the time you wipe your face and ears along with the other origins that need wiping.

I find that when you first start out to take only the necessary items that you use on a daily basis for cleaning. I have the following items:

Toothpaste
Shampoo/Conditioner
Deodorant
Shaving Cream/Razor
Conditioner
Sinus Rinse [have allergies and asthma problems]
Antibiotic Cream for cuts and scratches
Blow Dryer
Feminine Wipes/tampons/pantiliners
Febreeze
409-to clean my vinyl carpet in the front of my new Volvo

I personally don't use powder on my hair, because if it's greasy enough to wash it needs to be washed. I did that when I was a teenager but it makes me feel unclean to leave it oily with powder in it.

I agree with compact items. I take shampoo and conditioner and put the large bottles in my cabinets in my truck. I refill the compact bottles that I take into the shower when I need to.

You can't take everything that we suggest the first time around because it takes a while to accumulate all this stuff. Also, you will most likely be sent via another driver, plane or rental car to get your truck depending on where you go to work in relationship to your training or where you live. You can't possibly be taking all this the first time unless you're company is located by where you live.

I always take paper towels and kleenex with me also. I guess a port-o-potty would be nice but I don't want to have to clean it. It's too much like cleaning my condo when I go home. So those of you with space and inclination to do so more power to ya. My Volvo is big enough to move around in but not big enough to have a port-o-potty. You will figure out how to utilize the bathroom facilities quite well without a port-o-potty.

My essential list is:

Wind breaker/medium weight coat/winter coat

Clothes for the seasons

Snacks-make sure you take some protein if you don't carry real food
[peanut butter, nuts, tuna fish]

Extra log books/trip packs-copy all BOLs before submitting to company

Pens and white out-can't make it without whiteout

Sheets/Comforter/Pillow-if you don't camp wouldn't recommend a sleeping bag it can be very uncomfortable if you're not used to it.

Umbrella-never had a raincoat-have thought about it though.

Flashlight, seals, locks & scissors stay in my driver's door pocket. That way I can cut seals off and ascertain that I've hooked to my trailer in the dark. Never assume because you hear a bang it's hooked.

Inverter for a t.v. or whatever entertainment you choose to have. I don't have a t.v. but use one for a fan when it isn't hot enough to run the air conditioner.

Towel-incase you get somewhere without towels for a shower. That's rare-though.

Spiral notebook-always write down directions to the shippers/receivers. I used to throw them away after going there. However, after driving for a while you will probably go back to some of the same old places. Therefore, I keep directions in a spiral notebook. After it's full I start another notebook. It's been really handy-the Qualcomm directions are not always correct. That way I always have the correct version after going there at least once. I always call the shippers/receivers to make sure the directions are correct. It's saved me alot of anxiety and time.

Gloves to pump fuel.

Sometimes the tandems are a bear to pull-bring some WD-40 to spray the holes. Also, some people use a tool that you can clamp to the handle and prevent it from moving. There is a tandem pull you can buy in the truck stops not sure if they work though.

Never had a 5th wheel pull but that probably would be helpful. I've found if they can't pull to just leave the trailer brakes and move forwards or backwards a little and the 5th wheel pull will usually work right off.

Duct Tape-works on everything.

Tools. A hammer and screw drivers are essential.

Definitely bring extra lights for the trailers/truck [they're usually interchangeable]-you will always get some trailers with lights out. If you work for a large company you can go into their shops and they will give them to you. I've probably replaced 8 lights so far this year alone. That way you aren't stuck going into a truck stop and waiting hours to have someone change your lights. They are very easy to replace. Remove the rubber from around the lights and pull out the old light which plugs into the electrical outlet and plug in the new one, put the rubber back on and presto-you're down the road.


I think we've covered the gamut by now. Good luck and enjoy yourself. Be particularly careful about the truck stops at night. Do not get out of your truck unless you are in an area that is safe. You'll know what areas those are. Usually it isn't safe in large cities like L.A., Chicago, New York, Atlanta, Miami etc...

It's definitely not safe in Ontario, CA at the TA West. The TA East is allegedly free of lot lizards. Ha-I find that hard to believe when they are located right across the street from each other. It's also not safe in West Memphis, Arkansas. Always use the restroom before bedtime and devise your own "potty replacement" in your truck. ALWAYS BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS. We survive out here by knowing what's going on around us. Rest areas in the west are usually safe to stay in. I feel much safer in them than truck stops. Other women will argue otherwise. I have never had a problem in 3 years of driving in rest areas. When they say 24 hour security I never assume it's safe. If there's security there-it's for a reason. You see security in the east and southeast. If it is safe in my opinion you wouldn't need security.

Good luck and you'll love trucking if you like to drive. Be aware the single most large danger in my opinion is the four wheelers. If you leave proper distance between them and you you should be o.k.

[mojoe]

I carey about the samethings as they do. I don't use the soap on the face either. I carry my stuff in a backpack also I like to have my hands free. I carry an empty coffee can just incase. Good luck

[tweety bird]

SHOWER SHOES!!!!

I've been driving over a decade and I've never had a hemorrhoid!

This is a real low key article you might be interested in- it just barely delves into the subject but you might like it:

Women on the Road

[ladydrifter]

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR CAEER although spiral notebook is o.k. i found recipe cards in recipe box works alot better there are the bigger{5x7?}size I use works real good at night!Also try to sleep at customers or rest areas and if you can get a dog for protection I had 1 for 10 yrs.with me.One last thing to wear in showers get some sandals they work the best.

[SamIam_Murphy]

Regarding "port-a-potty"s I use a handy little item called the TravelJohn.
Now I do not usually promote products, but this is a wonderful item to have on hand.

They are compact. They contain these crystals that absorb the liquid and
any odor too. It really works! And they can be used again until they are
full. I keep the "used" one in a extra large drink cup with the lid on it and
stuck it in a small trash bin. That keeps it upright (just to be on the safe
side). I use each TravelJohn about 3 times (a day and a half, maybe).
The great part is that you only have to stop your vehicle and step into the
sleeper area, pull the curtain and take care of business.

I get my TravelJohn's at a local small airport. 3 to a box. A real life-
saver in an "emergency".

[TBird]

I know I am getting into this chat a little late, but ya know how it goes somedays. . .

My 5th Wheel Pull is one of the best things ever - It keeps my boobs clean. I have short arms and so it keeps me from getting covered with ickyness trying to reach the handle. I ruined more shirts in the first month of driving. Some stains are do-able, big black/grey stains right across your chest aren't do-able. heehee

Coveralls - chaining is a fact of life in the west and my coveralls and have helped me stay dryish and a bit cleaner and warmer while chaining, unchaining, fixing mudflaps, changing filters, etc.

Good Gloves - One of my splurges is having my acrylic nails and gloves that fit well are a God send, for my nails and my hands.

Scruchies - I know it sounds dumb. I have long hair and I try to "do" it every few days, but it usually ends up in a ponytail or clip. I have used my scrunchies for more things than I can count. Holding trailer doors open when the hooks are missing is the main thing I use them for, but for a quick, temporary fix of something, I am tellin' ya scrunchies and duct tape of course.

Someone suggested file cards and a recipe card file. I use that too. I have a file of directions to customers, random scales that are not in the big truckstops, etc. I note recieving and loading hours, and tricky things getting in and out. Noting if you can come in early and sleep the night before is always good to have. I file each card under the state it is in and then alphabetically in it's section. Knowledge is power. I have a few friends at the company I work for and we all keep info like I do and we share all the time. We help each other out as much as possible.

A good cell phone and contract. On a bad day or if you have been out a long time, your cell phone will save your sanity. Somedays I just need to hear my mom's voice, or need to talk to a person that isn't a dispatcher or customer.

Everyone has their list of must haves, and your list will be different everytime you go home and repack the truck. Just enjoy yourself and if you get into a situation that you don't have the perfect tool for, just stop and think for a second, and who knows, that ugly orange scrunchie just might come in handy.

See Ya out there,

TBird

[Sizzle]

Tbird and the other Gals with the Recipe Card suggestion-great idea. I don't have the patience or inclination to yank cards out of a recipe box. Hence, that's why I use a spiral notebook. Although, if I get organized enough someday I may try that suggestion. Also, liked the fifth wheel pull idea it's a great suggestion. I get filthy while hooking up the trailer. I've had more marks across my chest I always look like a female [wear tank tops and a long skirt] before I hook up and a dirty ol truck driver after hookup. I should keep a t-shirt just for hooking up to my trailer Obviously, my pigtails are usually dirty-even after having the truck washed. Somehow they never seem to get clean!!!

I must say I've used scrunchies [large elastic bands] on many occasions even to "harness down" the landing gear handle. I'm sure the next driver probably laughed their butt off. However, it certainly came in handy. I have them on the ring that I bought them on which is on one of my nets to my cabinets above my head. I too have long hair and use those often. I don't know what I'd do without them. They are essential just like my duct tape. I have used two duct tapes in the past three weeks taping the inside of trailers where holes have been knocked into the wooden sides of the trailers. Always afraid a customer will turn me away with huge holes in the walls. Don't care to search for hours for another empty.

I have had to repair at least 6 trailers since December. Those are only the ones that I remember. Hence, it is essential to bring lights with you and duct tape. I don't know how I'd survive out here without duct tape. Another great idea Thanks TBird is the coveralls. I haven't bought them yet trying to avoid it. However, I'm sure I'll have to break down and get them. Since I live in Denver and go west often I'm sure I'm going to need them....

Hauled trucks much longer than freight and haven't needed them except once on top of Donner. Even then I didn't want to chain. UGH!!! We were forbidden from chaining the new trucks because they were going to dealerships being sold as new and they didn't want any damage from the chains. My first month on freight after hauling trucks for 19 months and I had to chain on Donner. Not a lucky gal for sure!?! How funny there was a guy in front of me with 27 years experience who had never chained.

Gals anything we use out here can be written off as a business expense including your cell phone. No woman should be out here without a cell phone. If you can't afford a contract get a prepaid cell phone that way you can pay as you go. It is imperative that we all have one. You never know when you may absolutely need one: breakdown, accident, blowouts etc... It's supposed to be a certain percentage of your cell phone the part you use for work that can be written off. However, in my case most of my cell phone is used for work. My bills are very high. That's a great write off for your taxes. I am an Accountant and have found more and more that can be written off the longer I stay a driver. We are able to write off I think it is $53 a day for food without receipts. That's a huge write off [days out on road x $53]. After that calculation I think we can take 70% of that as our total to write off. Hey gals, that's an enormous amount. People think that if they don't have mortgages to write off that they can't do Schedule A. B.S. look at the write off above that gives you more than the standard deduction and that's before the other write offs: cell phone, clothing, equipment, tools etc...

If you don't have an Accountant to do your taxes get Turbo Tax. I'm sure I've done better with that than I would by sitting and doing the taxes on my own. I never did Trucker Taxes until I went trucking. It was a piece of cake using Turbo Tax. I realize with my background it's easier for me than others to do taxes. However, trucker taxes were much different than what I was used to doing. I was a Cost Accountant and Financial Accountant which has NOTHING to do with taxes. I loathe tax accounting.

Good luck to all the newbies and remember we are always here to help each other on this forum. I haven't had much luck with females on the road. I don't know if it's a competition thing or what but males have been much more helpful to me on the road. I think it may be because I wear skirts and they assume I'm looking for a husband or boyfriend. I'm not, I hauled trucks and put trucks on the ground and axles in the back drives. I'm not a girlie girl. May look like one but can assure anyone that I have the tools and know what to use them for. I was married for 1/2 a lifetime prior to my divorce. I say, "I've been there, done that, didn't work and don't want to go back. We should never make assumptions about another person due to the way they dress or look. People are wrong about me most of the time. They assume I'm a wife or girlfriend simply because I wear skirts. No, I don't wear skirts for attention. I'm used to wearing skirts and not pants. Therefore, I'm much more comfortable in skirts. They aren't short and wouldn't show my chubby legs anyway even if I wanted to wear shorter skirts. So I always look like I stepped out of an office unless I just hooked to a trailer than I look like a "dirty ol truck driver".

So if you face nastiness from other females just blow it off and ask a male for help. I was told by a U.S. Express Driver one night that when she started 35 years ago there were only 3 females on the west coast and they all knew each other and helped each other. I told her about my experiences and she told me the next time another gal was rude to me to just say, "find a puddle of water and show me how you can walk across it." I've never forgotten that advice. Don't let nasty females intimidate you. I cried at a shipper one day when a nasty driver from my company-no less put me down in front of three other drivers. I was told later that no one liked her-she thought she knew it all.

[ladykatrina]

it amazes me sometimes how we women are so damned nasty to each other most of the time, you'd think we would stick together but we don't, I just don't understand it. my last job, I had more trouble with other women than any of the guys, sexual harrasement is easy stuff next to some of the underhanded BS I had to deal with from other gals. I cried at work more times than I can count from all the crap that went on there...thats why I am looking at driving a truck! :P

[bluegrassdeb]

I know it is a little easier getting help from the guys, especially since there are more of them around naturally. I have however met several really nice lady truckers out there. I think alot of times the women who have had indiference showed to them from other ladies don't bother to remember to be a little friendlier so the other lady knows right off that your open to helping or whatever. I know women do tend to be more territoral or whatever but like I said I met some really nice ladies on the road that lent me a hand if I needed. One woman out West told me about getting her throat cut by someone she never saw come up behind her as she was getting into her truck some 15 or 20 yrs ago. She had a scar on her neck. I guess they just wanted her purse. I guess that is another reason to not carry one. I know that was unusal but I learned to carry pepper spray on my key chain and watch all around me when I'm anywhere. Most of the guys are great but there are a few that make you wonder. I've had them follow me to my truck as I am walking and I just feel safer knowing if anyone ever tryed getting fresh I could get rid of them pretty easy. I normally try and not start up and conversations as I'm walking. When I first started driving I was a little nieve about this. Just something I do to feel a little better when alone. ONe more thing about the shower shoes. I like the rubber ones you get at the drug store cheap. I never go into a shower without them. Great advice girls on this subject. I've picked up a few new idea's from reading this. I know I've mispelled some stuff on this post but I can't find the spellcheck. I thought one was on here?

[ladykatrina]

deb, you spelled most of your post just fine but naive is spelt thusly...I am curious about protection while on the road, I have a .45 automatic...I wonder what the laws are regarding my carrying that through multiple states? I am pretty good with it and I have saved my fanny a few times just displaying it to would be attackers...how bout it guys, whats the best weapon for on the road defense? besides common sense and intuition? 8)

[4roses]

ladykatrina ....

besides common sense and intuition?

may I strongly sugget ... leave your gun at home. I own a 357 magum .. and very good at handling it, but after being on the road I've found that a gun will get you killed. ... as well as you could lose your license when it's found in your truck by DOT ... if you go into Canada .. you won't be coming home, you'll go straight to jail and serve a very long time there .... and pay a big fee. ... as you stated ... common sense and intuition is your best defense. A good tire thumper can do wonders, mine has a strap on it so if I wanted to ... I could slide my hand through the handle and carry it as I walk up to the restrooms in the pickle parks and other shady places you'll go. .... carry your keys cupped in your hand as your walking from your truck to anywhere. This is something we should do even around home walking into and out of wallyworld .... there's so many things a person can do - lady or man .... was your walking back to your truck look under the trailer and under the cat walk behind the sleeper ... these are things you'll learn in school also. ....

we also have several other threads here that people have given good ideas of things to consider to use for safety if you'll go back and look. :wink:

[ladykatrina]

thanks roses, I am not too surprised at your answer but in some ways it is dissapointing as well, I have gotten myself out of nasy situations with my handgun...but I have a concealed carry permit good only in my own state...I will look for those threads you mention, and thanks for replying.

stay safe,
kate

[bluegrassdeb]

I say when it comes to protecting yourself out there no one else is going to do it for you. Especially if your driving alone. If a company puts you in a situation where you do not feel safe its your right as a human being to protect yourself. I'm not talking about taking a gun up into Canada or into areas where your not sure if you will searched etc. Also it is not something that you should let be known to other drivers. You have to be smart about it. Again I only carry in areas where I know I could be in danger. I personally know of plenty of times that my being alert to my surroundings have kept me from harm. A simple thing such as pepper spray could of possibly saved my life. I have seen posts of ladies on these sites that are drivers that think that they are Gods gift to men and have bragged how they have never been bothered. I look at their picture and can really understand why. I guess alot of women drivers think since the other guy drivers hit on them all the time that they must really have it going on. I have met 300 hundred pounder women drivers that some guys go gaga over. Go figure? I'm here to say alot of the women I have met that drive look like they have been droveway to long. Alot of the male drivers I've trained with on different jobs assume that just because nothing has happened to them in the the paticular area he is training you in that nothing will happen to you as a woman. That is just not true. There are lots of women in this world that have been raped and even murdered because some man has said don't worry so much that won't happen. Bull ****. Watch your back at all times. We are not as strong as men so we have to be smarter!

[Shawnee]

Sizzle, I don't know what you are doing to make all these women nasty toward you, are you being nasty to them to make them nasty to you? I have never had problems with other women drivers or women shippers/recievers. Even though I sometimes come across as a bit of a hard ass, I am alwasy polite and friendly to everyone, including women, who in turn are polite and friendly to me.

In fact I have on many occasions, helped out other women drivers, so this thing about get a male to help is a crock of s#$t. I have helped women who were lost, I have helped women with truck problems, I have helped women to back up when all the guys would do is stand around and laugh at her. I just don't know why you have so many problems with women. By the way, male drivers can be just as nasty, if not more nasty than women

[Shawnee]

Bluegrassdeb, you gave some good advice, you can never be too careful. Being a woman makes you an easy target, you just have to look around the truckstops to see what kind of people are out there. Drivers, male and female, have been killed for their loads. I keep a low profile when I am on the road, I rarely talk on the CB unless it is to get info. I don't need the whole world to know that there is a woman in my truck, I don't make myself a target by telling everyone on the CB that I am there. Don't count on the male truckers to protect you, common sense will keep you out of trouble.

I hear women all the time on the CB telling everyone where they are going and what they are hauling. Ladies, just because you talk to some guy on the CB does not make him your buddy, don't assume you can trust everybody. I knew one woman driver, who was a big blabber on the CB. She told me that several times guys had followed her to where she was delivering and sleeping for the night, and tried to get into her truck because she told them where she was going, I wanted to slap her for being so stupid.

[bluegrassdeb]

I hate it when they start asking where you are going to pull over. It is so obvious. But I guess it has had to of worked for em at one point or another or they wouldn't be doing it. I did stop once or twice to have coffee with a driver that I had been talking to for awhile but even that can be dangerous. I talked to them a long time before going into the truck stop though. I'm pretty good at judging character in a man by the things they say and the way they say it. I have not always been good at it. It took many yrs. I'm 50 and I think its true that wisdom does come with age. I trust my instincts now more than any time in my life. One good thing about getting old. As far as justing talking to be talking it isn't a good idea especially at night it is smart to keep low profile. But hey ya gotta have a little fun once in awhile. I love talking to the guys. I've been known to sing to em a song or two going down the road.That can be a blast and judging by the reguests to keep singing they enjoy it too.