HAVE YOU EVER WRITTEN ANY POEMS, OR STORIES ABOUT PETS?...

[RedRaven]

Have any poems, or stories about your pets, on board, or otherwise to share?... :wink:

[RedRaven]

I have been searching for this story... It is more of a story than a poem really... I don't know who wrote it, but, it is a great little story about Humans, and their dogs when they pass on... It's not sad... It is more.... Clever...

Everyone who owns, or has owned a dog should read this story...




Dogs In Heaven?

An old man and his dog were walking down this dirt road with fences on both sides, they came to a gate in the fence and looked in, it was nice grassy, woody areas, just what a 'huntin' dog and man would like, but, it had a sign saying 'no trespassing' so they walked on. They came to a beautiful gate with a person in white robes standing there. "Welcome to Heaven" he said. The old man was happy and started in with his dog following him. The gatekeeper stopped him. "Dogs aren't allowed, I'm sorry but he can't come with you."

"What kind of Heaven won't allow dogs? If he can't come in, then I will stay out with him. He's been my faithful companion all his life, I can't desert him now."

"Suit yourself, but I have to warn you, the Devil's on this road and he'll try to sweet talk you into his area, he'll promise you anything, but the dog can't go there either. If you won't leave the dog, you'll spend Eternity on this road."

So the old man and dog went on. They came to a rundown fence with a gap in it, no gate, just a hole. Another old man was inside. "S'cuse me Sir, my dog and I are getting mighty tired, mind if we come in and sit in the shade for awhile?"

"Of course, there's some cold water under that tree over there. Make yourselves comfortable"

"You're sure my dog can come in? The man down the road said dogs weren't allowed anywhere."

"Would you come in if you had to leave the dog?"

"No sir, that's why I didn't go to Heaven, he said the dog couldn't come in.
We'll be spending Eternity on this road, and a glass of cold water and some shade would be mighty fine right about now. But, I won't come in if my buddy here can't come too, and that's final."

The man smiled a big smile and said "Welcome to Heaven."

"You mean this is Heaven? Dogs ARE allowed? How come that fellow down the road said they weren't?"

"That was the Devil and he gets all the people who are willing to give up a life long companion for a comfortable place to stay. They soon find out their mistake, but then it's too late. The dogs come here, the fickle people stay there. GOD wouldn't allow dogs to be banned from Heaven. After all, HE created them to be man's companions in life, why would he separate them in death?"

My dog Bart, he is fat and a savage.
He always farts and smells like a cabbage.

He's always licking himself till the cows come home.
I don't mind, he reminds me to answer the phone.

I get into bed and the fleas are there too.
I realize he was sleeping there, at least it wasn't poo.

His belly is so big it drags on the floor.
He likes my car when we drive to the store.

He's not a good watchdog, he's afraid of a cat.
My dog bart....he is fat.

[Ridge Runner]

I had a dog named Nantucket,
who's ....... Well ....... never mind :P

[Jackrabbit379]

Well, Steve is a poet, and I didnt know it.

I had a dog that ran like the wind.
He wagged his tail when he was happy.
:? That's as far as I can go for now.

I'm pretty sure they are going to kick all us guys out soon and make this a password protected forum.

I'm sitting here in Laredo Texas and the humidity is awefull. I just wish I didn't have that no so fresh feeling. Ya know!

[Jackrabbit379]

Yeah, I am sure it can get hoomid down there.

[golfhobo]

That was a good one, Raven! I have to admit.

I DO write poetry, but can't say as I've ever written one about my dog. I DID once START a short story about him titled "HE TREATS ME LIKE A DOG!"

It was written from the DOG's point of view. You know, "HE calls me DOG! And says, Blah Blah, Bad Dog!" And so on.....

I'm going to finish it some day. Of course, the dog (like my EX) ran away along time ago... but that just leaves more royalty checks for ME!!

[RedRaven]

Got this in my Email today... Thought I'd share it with all of you...


If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,




..Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

I was thinking as I was reading the above, who the hell is writing this crapola. There isn't anyone on the face of the earth like that. Then I got to the last line!!! lol

[LandstarAlayna]

Red Raven,
I imagine you and I'd get along very well. I love animals. I have two dogs and two cats. The dogs are boston terriers and all four are males. They are just like kids, but they treat me better than my near 18 year old son does. God Bless and Be Safe!!

[larz0142]

A few years back I had this pet beaver..But it ran away..man I do miss that big brown beaver.

[4roses]

I don't wrote poems but I came across this tonight and thought someone might get a kick out of it ..

But I do have a mini dachshund, he's my best friend

How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

1. Golden Retriever:
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of
us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie:
Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund:
You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler:
Make me.

5. Boxer:
Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab:
Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb!
Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd:
I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any,
and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier:
I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog:
Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I ! don't see a light bulb?

10. Cocker Spaniel:
Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

11. Chihuahua:
Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

12. Pointer:
I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...

13. Greyhound:
It isn't moving. Who cares?

14. New Zealand Sheep Dog:
First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

15. Poodle:
I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat's Answer:
"Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can
expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.

What is a Cat?

1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.

CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

CONCLUSION: They're tiny men in little fur coats.

[Jackrabbit379]

Good stuff, for4roses. If you dont mind, I will take the liberty of copying it, and emailing it to my family.

[4roses]

Jackrabbit .... Be my guest :wink:

[Jackrabbit379]

Thank ya.

[lexiecat]

Yes ! and when I can find one of them, poems about my Cat friend, I will post it here.

LC