single mom w/10 year old

[Sheepdancer]

Lets look at another way......
Most Dangerous job list and number of deaths per 100,000
Timber cutters 117.8----- Are you going to take your kid to work with you everyday?
Commercial Fishers 71.1....Is an alaskan fishing boat a great place for a kid to spend everyday?
Pilots and navigators 69.8...Sure kids fly.....but they dont live in a plane everyday.
Structural metal workers 58.2....Are you going to take your kid up on the gurders of a 50 story building?
Roofers 37 ..>Sure, a kid would have fun on a roof, but let him stay up there 8 hours a day, eventually he will fall.
Electrical power installers 32.5....Drop and roll son, drop and roll....I told you not to touch the red wire!
Farm occupations 28...Sure 10 year olds farm....I will give you this one.
Truck drivers 25....Need I say more?

[Sheepdancer]

Once again I will say that I think its a great idea to take a kid with you for a few weeks a year. When I was a kid I would have loved it. But two weeks is a lot different than spending all their time in a truck.

Now, I have spent very little time in a truck. However just reading some of the amazing stories of things that have happened to you drivers out on the road is very entertaining. Some of the road stories you have are funny and even a little bit scary to an adult. Im amazed at some of the things that have happened to you all. However the thought of some of those things happening in the pressence of a 10 year old kid is HORRIFYING. You have to admit the trucking industry is at best "Rated R"

[Twilight Flyer]

You have to admit the trucking industry is at best "Rated R"

And usually NC-17. :shock:

[Cynduck]

Twilight I agree with you - there's a HUGE differece. I don't think it is a good idea at all. She asked for ways that it might be able to work. I would never do it but it isn't my place to tell her that she can't do that with her child. I think it could be done with a lot of work but it would be very difficult to manage. There are curriculums out there that are teacher taught on DVD - it's not turning your child loose on a computer but it would allow her to drive while he is getting the classroom lectures. It's not something I use but is the only way I see a chance of her being able to drive and her son still getting an education. Homeschooling is so much more then sitting at the table in front of a stack of books.

Is it the ideal situation in a truck? Far from it. Would I allow one of my children to live in a truck full time? Not a chance! Will my children go out with my husband from time to time? You bet.

Like I said before - they would be missing the opportunity to be in a co-op and get the interaction with other children. Homeschooling is one of the toughest things I have ever done but it is so worth it. If she is set on doing it, I was offering advice on the best way to be able to give her child an education. I think the child would be very lonely though.

I just re-read Twilights last post and something came to mind. Besides all the other negatives already mentioned - how many out of the house jobs would permit you to attempt to homeschool your child while you were working? I know how much time homeschooling takes. I am finishing my college degree, raising 4 kids (1 with severe disabilities), homeschooling and caring for my house. There is no way I could homeschool and hold down a full time job at the same time and we all know that truck driving is beyond a full time job.

[Shebear]

Applause for you, Mom! At ten years of age, your daughter may be mature enough to make the best of OTR living. Only you know her character and the strength of your relationship. If she's the type of child who can work alone on her schoolwork and be happy without having a crowd of kids around, it COULD work.

But it sounds like you haven't gone to a truck school or community college yet to get your CDL. After that is taken care of, you're going to have to go on the road for a couple of months with a trainer, 24/7, knocking yourself out. As a woman who tried that last part, and has failed so far, I can only advise you not to "burn your bridges".

Where will your daughter be staying during that time? Will she be safe with relatives? Are you SURE nobody else wants custody?

And last but not at all least. . .

What are your morals? Single Mom EQUALS Easy Mark. You do not want to subject your daughter to damaging situations.

I was raised by a single mother in the best neighborhood in the world -- a nice, decent apartment in Beverly Hills, California. My life was hell, because my mother was a poor working woman who just liked male company once in a while, and who can blame her. I found certain times to be very unpleasant. People forget these days that children are not supposed to be raised to be voyeurs. Things like that affect them. "Mom" is supposed to be SPECIAL.

There's another risk. I was fortunate, because at your daughter's age, I was able to repel the slugs who were eyeing me behind my mother's back. These days, a lot more vermin come out of the closet.

Over-The-Road is not the place for a little girl. A lot of BIG GIRLS drive with BIG DOGS for a reason.

Sorry to be blunt. If you are secure in yourself, not a patsy, clean-living, and watch over her LIKE A HAWK - you'll be just fine.

But when she's ready for high school, then what? Time flies.

[coastie]

And we wonder why Our kids are getting so bad now. Or the thread about america falling, Look how we mistreat our kids.
We do not educate them any more, we tell them what we want them to know, but not the true history, we make them think they can do what ever they want and get by with it. So they do, steal, Use drugs, and murder.

Why cause we do not want to spend time with them not do things together, such as bring them out with us on the road, can not punish them for it's child abuse.

Really Sad.

Have a nice life..

[Twilight Flyer]

Bringing a child out on the road for short periods of time is great...it's a wonderful learning experience and allows the parent and child to spend time together. I think many people have pointed that out.

Bringing them out on the road to live in a truck and attempt to home-school on the road, is wrong. Period. What kind of a homelife would the child have, living in a truck 24/7? With a parent that certainly means well, but would have absolutely no chance to successfully homeschool her child and do her job at the same time.

It's been said over and over again. If you don't agree with it, fine. That's your choice. But before you encourage someone to risk losing their child, perhaps you should ask yourself if you would risk your own.

[yoopr]

And we wonder why Our kids are getting so bad now. Or the thread about america falling, Look how we mistreat our kids.
We do not educate them any more, we tell them what we want them to know, but not the true history, we make them think they can do what ever they want and get by with it. So they do, steal, Use drugs, and murder.

Why cause we do not want to spend time with them not do things together, such as bring them out with us on the road, can not punish them for it's child abuse.

Really Sad.

Have a nice life..

Have you even started driving truck yet?

[joettanne]

Do yourself and your child a favour. If you really want to drive a truck, get a local job. Keep your child in school. Come home every night and cook supper. When your child is finished school and on their own. Then go on the road full time.

[Shawnee]

Sheepdancer still negativity will get no where, All you and may others are so negative. Why not get to stop? She'll need a break time to time any way. True not every 5 minutes but I always stopped for a few minutes evry 2 or 3 hours.

Why is it everyone wants to tell otehrs how to raise their kids? If she wants to take them fine have a ball. If you want to be away from your, fine it's your life. I always enjoyed being with my Dad at work or where ever. He was not driving anymore but he did work for a Trucking company and I would go with himn sit in his office and watched him load the trucks. I had a blast. .

Nobody is being negative, everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, that is the whole reason for this forum. A lot of these people have been in this industry for a long time and know what they are talking about. Nobody is telling anyone how to raise kids, just giving advice,

I also rode with my Dad in the truck on school breaks but it is not the same as living in a truck full time. I had even been to some places with my dad that did not allow children and I had to hide in the bunk.

I don't know about you but I have never had time to stop and go sightseeing, let alone find somewhere to park to go sightseeing driving a truck. I rarely have time to do anything other than eat and sleep while I am working, imagine that life for a child, think about it this way, would you like to have spent your childhood that way.

[Mack2]

Advice. Take your kid for a 7 or 8hr ride in your car and don't stop ever and see what happens.

[mustangrose]

Well as I said I have and am doing my homework. The division of family services list neglect as doing without food, clothes, shelter, bathing. As hopefully all that drives do have these things and take showers I know they are out there. As the case worker said if they or anyone says this is child abuse they would have to go after the musicians, carnival poeple, contractors that all take there kids with them. I fully have not made my decision and for playing little league my son did it and hated it. We do have family and freinds he will see and spend time with.
It is far from neglect to know where my son is that he is not in gangs, doing drugs getting shot by drive by shootings believe my I have lived in lot worse places than a truck. And because I will have my family with me we dont have to go HOME on time off we can go check out spots that he wants to see better.
For the ones that says this is so dangerous and such a bad life my question would be if you feel so negetive WHY DO YOU DO IT.

[mustangrose]

I dont know how many of you have kids in school now but at my sons school everything is done on the computer the teachers don't lecture they are given a computer and they work at there own pace.
You think I am thinking about doing this because I think it will be fun you are far from the truth just like I believe most of you do it it is for the money. Unless I go back to school for years and get a degree I cant make the kind of money truckers make. I work 3 jobs i get home when my son is going to bed I get him up and take him to school and do it all over again. I work 7 days a week so you say when will I spend time with him 24/7 a lot more than he gets now. As far as danger we have helicopters flying over every night looking for someone, drive by shootings, drug dealers and prositutes on the corners. he doesnt play outside much because of the danger out there. and him staying in the truck because a warehouse I deliver doesnt allow kids hes 10 not 2 he can stay alone at home for several hours. There is dangers in all kinds of places. Yes there are drivers killed. Like that doesnt happen in a 4 wheel the last snow fall 11 people were killed in cars but I didn't even here of a truck recking. You can die in your house and where we live that is a good chance. Not everyone comes for the subarbs there is very inner city life. If wanting a better life for him is bad then I guess you can call me a bad mother. I didn't say I was planning on doing this until he graduates.

[Twilight Flyer]

The division of family services list neglect as doing without food, clothes, shelter, bathing

Now, rather than go in and ask them what they view as neglect, ask them HOW they would view having your child live in the truck with you with you attempting to homeschool while you work.

I'm not talking out of my rear end here. D.H.S. will not view a tractor with a bunk in it as a shelter. It is your WORK environment. And I'm not going to even get into the bathing at truck stops.

You mentioned Carnies. Carnies live in campers and in hotels. Not much of a life for a child, but the shelter requirement is met and as long as they aren't violating child labor laws, they're not going to get nailed.

You will.

You are probably right in saying that your plan is probably better than living on a street corner in downtown Compton, but the DHS isn't going to look at it that way. The first "do-gooder" truck driver or fuel desk attendant that you run into is going to contact the D.H.S. The D.H.S. is, by law, required to investigate any and all calls regarding child welfare. And when that happens, your child is going to immediately be placed in foster care until they can have a hearing or you can meet the shelter requirement.

Bottom line, you're gambling on huge odds that you won't get caught. Is it worth the stress that you'll be under or the potential damage to your child? Only you can answer that.

Best of luck to you. If you pursue those plans, you're likely going to need a whole lot of it.

[Sheepdancer]

Although I applaud you trying to make a better life for your child and getting him out of a bad neighborhood, I still feel this might be one of those "lesser of two evils" type things. In otherwords you might be pulling your kid out of one bad situation and putting him in another. although, a life on the road might be a better life for him than living in a bad neighborhood. However, I dont think you are looking at all your options. I dont agree that being a truck driver is the only thing you can do to make that kind of money. There are millions and millions of people in this country without a college education that do well and are not truck drivers.
With unemployment as low as it is right now, this is a job hunters market. There are tons of great jobs out there that cant be filled. Look hard at all areas. Think about moving to a different part of the country where jobs are plenty and very little crime. If you put your mind to it, you can do it.

[jegzus]

Actually a good friend of mine did this with her dad while we were growing up. Her dad was an O/O however but they still did it. She would get her school work from the school and when they came home she would drop it off to be graded.

I don't know a whole lot more than that, but this started when we were in 4th grade because her mom and little sister were killed in a car accident, so her dad had no choice but to take her over the road. When they would come home she always had so much to talk about, and she seemed genuinely happy to he out there with her dad. And just to give a time comparison I am 23 now so it wasn't all that long ago that this was done.

I also think that people need to stop being so negative, and stop falling into the trap of thinking they know best for someone else and their family. Also for those of you saying how children services wouldn't let her do it, I'm sorry but I laugh at your ignorance.

What about all the child actors and singers ect, they travel the WORLD and they are working FULL TIME. The child would have eveything they need in a truck with a good mother, Food, shelter, bathing, education, so please enough with the internet lawyers ok.

[mustangrose]

well because of my husband I do have close contact with DFS and when I talked to my case worker I told her my EXACT plans of OTR and taking him with me. Not ask her what there defintion of neglect is she told me she also told me that if I had a definate plan a good school program and a company that would work with me that there would be no problem.

[Twilight Flyer]

Also for those of you saying how children services wouldn't let her do it, I'm sorry but I laugh at your ignorance.

When you can substantiate your comments with facts concerning our alleged ingorance, do let me know.

I happen to be speaking, not from a negative slant, but from a realistic slant. I've been down this road with other drivers. I've heard more than a few of the horror stories about what it took to get their child and their life back after a "well-meaning" do-gooder called in a complaint and a "well-meaning" D.H.S. worker had them taken away.

And just for a bit of enlightenment on your part, I have some serious issues with the D.H.S. and these supposedly "well-meaning" case workers. The organization does some good at times, I will agree. But the organization does a whole lot of bad things, too, ripping apart families for no other reason than some nosey-***** neighbor with a chip on their shoulder decided to get even with you because your dog pooped in their garden.

What about all the child actors and singers ect, they travel the WORLD and they are working FULL TIME. The child would have eveything they need in a truck with a good mother, Food, shelter, bathing, education, so please enough with the internet lawyers ok.

Those children live in fully outfitted living buses or house trailers (which fully fit the definition of shelter), hotels, and/or with host families. They have lots of one-on-one time with $500-an-hour tutors and get a better education than most children in our public and private education system. They typically have a parent with them who actually gets the chance to parent, instead of having to work themselves for 14 hours a day. There is a HUGE difference in their lifestyle and in the lifestyle of a child confined to a truck with a parent that is working most of her waking hours.

As far as the pointless internet lawyer comment, might I remind you that this is a messageboard, in place for the sharing and commenting of ideas. The original poster asked questions regarding her plans and was overwhelmingly told that she should consider another course of action. The fact that one or two people agree with her, doesn't make it right. It only means that one or two others are at least as misinformed as she is/was.

well because of my husband I do have close contact with DFS and when I talked to my case worker I told her my EXACT plans of OTR and taking him with me.

Wonderful. Now, when someone does call in on you and the D.H.S. from another state or jurisdiction does investigate and your case worker isn't involved, what happens then? If you think that just because one caseworker tells you it's OK, that it'll be a departmant-wide mandate for you, you have a lot to learn about this particular government agency.

Like I said, best of luck to you. It's your gamble and if you succeed, then my hats off to you. But if you fail, my concern is that you haven't looked at what you stand to lose. If you look over this thread, you'll see it's running about 10 to 1 against putting yourself and your child in this situation. There are good reasons for people speaking out against it. If you choose to ignore those warnings, that's your prerogative. Perhaps you can come back on this board in a couple years and talk about how wonderfully it's worked out. Congratulations would be in order, then, as you would have beaten the odds. But if it doesn't work out, if you lose your child, what then? "Maybe I should have listened to those people?" Sorry, at that point, it's too late.

Once again, good luck.

[Sheepdancer]

I think the strangest thing about this thread is you have two recruiters (me and twilight) trying to talk someone out of driving.

[Jackrabbit379]

I think the strangest thing about this thread is you have two recruiters (me and twilight) trying to talk someone out of driving.

Sheepdancer, that is odd :P