Tips to help you look like a pro

[VPIDarkAngel]

Don't forget:

When on foot (which should be least often as possible) make sure you walk out in front of trucks driving through the parking lot. They have to slam on their brakes to stop for you, you're a pro, they're not.

That first one happened to me this morning at Princeton, WV. It was a SuddenLink employee who stepped out in front of me, my truck, and 34,000lbs. of cheap junk. Not 30 minutes after this, one of his co-workers in a pickup pulls right out in front of a Valley Proteins tractor-trailer. The moron in the pickup was on his cell phone, too.

Here's another few.
When pulling up to the guard shack at a customer, take the truck out of gear and coast, especially when you're right behind someone in line. Also, shut off the engine before applying the parking brake (if at all). A 'pro' can keep the truck stopped without brakes. (Yes, this just happened to me at the distribution center this evening... Yes, he was on his cell phone too.)
When backing, never use the four-ways, never alert anyone behind you that you're about to back up on the CB (if there's anyone there), and never, EVER, under any circumstances, get out and look. (The same cell phone wielding idiot pulled that same stunt on the yard while I was inspecting my trailer.)

[Kevin0915]

That first one happened to me this morning at Princeton, WV. It was a SuddenLink employee who stepped out in front of me, my truck, and 34,000lbs. of cheap junk. Not 30 minutes after this, one of his co-workers in a pickup pulls right out in front of a Valley Proteins tractor-trailer. The moron in the pickup was on his cell phone, too.

Here's another few.
When pulling up to the guard shack at a customer, take the truck out of gear and coast, especially when you're right behind someone in line. Also, shut off the engine before applying the parking brake (if at all). A 'pro' can keep the truck stopped without brakes. (Yes, this just happened to me at the distribution center this evening... Yes, he was on his cell phone too.)
When backing, never use the four-ways, never alert anyone behind you that you're about to back up on the CB (if there's anyone there), and never, EVER, under any circumstances, get out and look. (The same cell phone wielding idiot pulled that same stunt on the yard while I was inspecting my trailer.)

After a year of being on the road, i have YET to hear anybody get on the CB and say, "excuse me everyone, i'm about to back up...." I've heard other drivers warn the driver backing up some guy is rounding the corner coming out of the fuel island at 30mph, or when another driver stops and stops the traffic behind him to allow another driver to back into their spot.

[Fredog]

Don't forget:

When on foot (which should be least often as possible) make sure you walk out in front of trucks driving through the parking lot. They have to slam on their brakes to stop for you, you're a pro, their not.

When in the truck drive 50 mph through the truckstop parking lot. Those wusses trying to get inside or into a spot have to stop for a pro like you.

Take showers as little as possible. People can tell by your smell you're a pro.

Find something to complain about at every full service restaraunt. It doesn't matter what it is or if you're consistent, you're a pro and they should treat you as such. Also never tip after making a commotion about stupid stuff, they should tip you since you're a pro.

Walk out on the tab whenever possible and make the watress who's making $2 an hour pay for your meal. She owes it to a pro such as yourself.

Don't ever wait in line with the other, non pro drivers at a shipper/consignee. Rush to the front and demand they take you right then, even if your appointment is 3 hours from now or was 3 hours ago. You deserve to be loaded/unloaded before everyone else. Cursing and screaming will help solidify the fact that you are indeed a pro.

Whine and complain about every company out there except the one you work for (cause it's perfect) on every Internet message board, coffee shop, and on the cb. In three months when you decide to change jobs again (or are fired) promptly go to same locations and complain about how they are the worst in the business. Find another perfect job, repeat.

When in the truck drive 50 mph through the truckstop parking lot. and make SURE the jake is on high

[Malaki86]

When in the truck drive 50 mph through the truckstop parking lot. and make SURE the jake is on high

But ONLY if you have straight pipes. Pro's don't drive trucks with mufflers.

This also goes for when driving through residential area's at 2am.

[VPIDarkAngel]

After a year of being on the road, i have YET to hear anybody get on the CB and say, "excuse me everyone, i'm about to back up...." I've heard other drivers warn the driver backing up some guy is rounding the corner coming out of the fuel island at 30mph, or when another driver stops and stops the traffic behind him to allow another driver to back into their spot.

While I admit that it's rare, it does happen, on occasion. I'm pretty sure I've done it a time or two, just to avoid confusion and collisions, but that's mostly in really crowded places, like the Troutville T/A.

[Fredog]

This happens to me all the time in Wisconsin, I'm the truck being passed. I don't understand why light trucks always try to pass heavy trucks on the downhill side. Or better yet get to the top going 2 mph faster, and cut over right when I start to gain speed.

I always try to maintain my speed(not speed up too much downhill). But if there's no other traffic what's the point? I had one guy get upset with me because he started to pass me. Even before then I had the jake on full. Even with that I started gaining on him when he was just past my bumper. Boy did he get upset.

He thought I was playing games so I told him I was fully loaded and even had the jake on. Oh well.

It's pretty obvious when I'm fully loaded you can see the damn freight on the trailer. But it still happens. My truck rolls downhill easier then 95% of the trucks out there. I can catch up to loaded trucks when I'm only 60-70% of their weight.

The best thing to do in this case, is just slow down and let him go, he will spend all day ( or night)trying to pass you and everyone will be cussing both of you

[Flatbed]

Make sure and tell everyone who will listen about your former experience as a Navy Seal/special ops/Delta Force/US Marshall etc... and when asked why you are driving a truck make sure to have a good story about how you put your supervisor in the hospital because of a disagreement.

I am continually amazed at how many drivers used to be in the black ops world.

[Malaki86]

Make sure and tell everyone who will listen about your former experience as a Navy Seal/special ops/Delta Force/US Marshall etc... and when asked why you are driving a truck make sure to have a good story about how you put your supervisor in the hospital because of a disagreement.

I am continually amazed at how many drivers used to be in the black ops world.

What do you mean? I thought everyone was a truck driver just as a cover in the covert ops world like me.

[Kevin0915]

This happens to me all the time in Wisconsin, I'm the truck being passed. I don't understand why light trucks always try to pass heavy trucks on the downhill side. Or better yet get to the top going 2 mph faster, and cut over right when I start to gain speed.

I always try to maintain my speed(not speed up too much downhill). But if there's no other traffic what's the point? I had one guy get upset with me because he started to pass me. Even before then I had the jake on full. Even with that I started gaining on him when he was just past my bumper. Boy did he get upset.

He thought I was playing games so I told him I was fully loaded and even had the jake on. Oh well.

It's pretty obvious when I'm fully loaded you can see the damn freight on the trailer. But it still happens. My truck rolls downhill easier then 95% of the trucks out there. I can catch up to loaded trucks when I'm only 60-70% of their weight.

Hmmmm....jakes on, fully loaded so you refuse to brush the brakes a little more, yep...you're a pro. Lighter truck is going to be faster, so why not, at the top of said hill BEFORE you start to gain speed, let the faster/passing truck back over?? I know, because real pros dont use the brake pedal, they'd rather make an unsafe condition on the road when the PROFESSIONAL thing is to just (protect your virgin ears) slow down a mile or two an hour for 10-15 seconds. If you still find yourself gaining on the faster truck going downhill, then by all means pass him/her back.

what gets me are how so many drivers get all butt-hurt because they cannot fathom the idea of slowing down for a few seconds. They'd rather not only p!ss off the passing driver, but the dozen or so 4-wheelers who now are backed up in traffic. Nice job, Pro.

[golfhobo]

While I admit that it's rare, it does happen, on occasion. I'm pretty sure I've done it a time or two, just to avoid confusion and collisions, but that's mostly in really crowded places, like the Troutville T/A.

Forget the CB.... THAT place needs 'ground control radar!'

There are two ways to go around that parking lot.... and NEITHER will allow you a good setup to back into a spot!

(Which, of course, is why all the PROs park by the pumps and block the exit!

[golfhobo]

Hmmmm....jakes on, fully loaded so you refuse to brush the brakes a little more, yep...you're a pro.

Lighter truck is going to be faster, so why not, at the top of said hill BEFORE you start to gain speed, let the faster/passing truck back over??

I know, because real pros dont use the brake pedal, they'd rather make an unsafe condition on the road when the PROFESSIONAL thing is to just (protect your virgin ears) slow down a mile or two an hour for 10-15 seconds. If you still find yourself gaining on the faster truck going downhill, then by all means pass him/her back.

what gets me are how so many drivers get all butt-hurt because they cannot fathom the idea of slowing down for a few seconds. They'd rather not only p!ss off the passing driver, but the dozen or so 4-wheelers who now are backed up in traffic. Nice job, Pro.

OMG!!! And they gave this guy a CDL???

[1catfish]

how about hitting 7 or 8 gears before clearing the fuel pumps!

[Fredog]

OMG!!! And they gave this guy a CDL???

I fail to see anything wrong with this post
and yes, they gave me a cdl too

[jonp]

Make sure and tell everyone who will listen about your former experience as a Navy Seal/special ops/Delta Force/US Marshall etc... and when asked why you are driving a truck make sure to have a good story about how you put your supervisor in the hospital because of a disagreement.

I am continually amazed at how many drivers used to be in the black ops world.

I'd comment but it's classified and I'd have to kill you. Let me think about it while I take the secret military load that I can't get out of the truck to look at and the shipping papers don't detail, drive it to a military base while having a helicopter escort and blow by all the weigh stations, back it into a cavern under a mountain and still not get out to see what it is.

[jonp]

Menu? Real pros eat the buffet. 3 times a day until their belly hangs over their pants and the entire truck shifts when they get in and out.

[Jackrabbit379]

Someone may have already said this, I may have over looked it..
I've always like the sound of a jake brake when you have a set of straights. The thing that makes those guys look like a pro, is when you see someone with a set of straights, with the jake brake turned on, pulling a flatbed with nothing on it.

[Kevin0915]

Menu? Real pros eat the buffet. 3 times a day until their belly hangs over their pants and the entire truck shifts when they get in and out.

dont forget their gut hangs over their pants/belt, then wear a t-shirt thats too short to cover everything, and they pretend if they cant see it, neither can you.

[coalregion]

Fred that post had me in tears from laughing!! May I add afew....

Always whizz in bottles whenever possible, then when you get out at the truckstop (preferably in Yuma Arizona in July when it's 130 in the shade), dump all bottles right next to the truck aside of you, so he can enjoy the fruits of your labor. In a pinch it is also ok to whizz on your tandems while parked 30' from a restroom.

Also, toss all of your garbage directly out your window onto the ground, as you ARE a pro, and people should be more than happy to pick up after you.

Tell anyone who questions anything you do while behind the wheel that you've driven more miles in reverse than they will ever drive going foward and to mind their own freaking business, least you unleash a swirling torrent of misery on their sorry behinds (all the special op training you had back in the day)

[Windwalker]

Make sure and tell everyone who will listen about your former experience as a Navy Seal/special ops/Delta Force/US Marshall etc... and when asked why you are driving a truck make sure to have a good story about how you put your supervisor in the hospital because of a disagreement.

I am continually amazed at how many drivers used to be in the black ops world.

Well, one true fact is... There are a few Seals that are now driving trucks. And, for that matter, I'd like to know how you can tell if they have actually been in or not. After all, Mr. Rogers, of "Mr Roger's Neighborhood" fame was a Seal. And, I've met about 3 guys, that YES, I know for a fact they were Seals. But, there's little doubt that the members of that elite are few and far between. So, I have no idea how many of these you have met, or how many times you've met the same guy.

[Baldy]

After all, Mr. Rogers, of "Mr Roger's Neighborhood" fame was a Seal.

I'm afraid that statement is not true.




snopes.com: Mister Rogers