Help with teenage son

[MACK]

When I was in AL picking up a truck for my Dad I get a call and it's my wife she says my oldest son 16 had stole my KW W900 and has taken it to a party that we told him not to go to apparently trying to impress his friends. Any how he gets drunk gets in the truck and tries to drive it back ends up getting in a wreck and abandons the since thank fully the guy he ran into was a friend of mine and is not pressing charges as long as I pay for getting his car fixed. But I still don't know what to do the KW is also going to need some work done to the front of it witch will cost me close to $2,500. So what should I do.

[EQMC]

Is this a joke? What you do is get that boy to work and make him pay for his 'mistake'. Your friend shouldnt have to wait for repairs and if hes keeping your kid out of trouble, pay the man his money and get it back (every cent) from your son. A summer of working to pay his debt and not doing much of anything else sounds right to me.

[MACK]

No it is not a joke. I have thought about him working it off trying to get him a job some where but not having much luck also thinking about sending his ***** to military school. And I also have cut my friend a check today for $6,542.32

[Twilight Flyer]

Military school would be right up there with the best suggestions. Whatever you do, it should be drastic...just having him work it off probably isn't enough. Just be thankful he didn't kill somebody.

[Scoe]

Maybe your friend is NOT doing you a favor by not pressing charges. Perhaps this is exactly what your son needs to be held accountable for his actions.

[Dougnddeb]

Man if I was you I would make him get a job and pay for all the damages.

[yoopr]

I know it's hard but have you ever heard of Tough Love?
Too late now but you should have had his butt thrown in Jail for awhile and NOT bail his ass out.

I agree. A nice night or two in jail and then military school would have been in order. If I had pulled a stunt like that when I was 16 I wouldn't be here typing this now. But I guess that is why kids are like they are now days. No real discipline.

[MACK]

I am going to send him to military school but he can't go for about 2 months so every evening and weekend he is going to wash the trucks and clean out the trailers and every one of those trucks and trailers are going to look like their brand new or he is going to have to do every one of them again.

[Dougnddeb]

Yea that's a good idea.

[GMAN]

I think I would have him work everyday after school and on weekends until the repairs were reimbursed. Once school was out, I would have him work night and day to pay you back. If he has a car, you could sell it and apply the money to what he owes you. He needs to learn that there are no free rides. Even after he goes to military school, he could still continue working to repay this debt. 8)

[Dougnddeb]

Thats a good idea to.

[greasemunky]

My dad woulda beat my butt half off and then I would have worked and did nothing else til it was paid off. No TV no phone no going out nothing.

[bentpole]

Sometimes Kid's will be Kid's,Military school is a little harsh,just another word for reform school.
First ask your self,Has he gave trouble before?What kind of grades does he make in his school?Basically is he a good kid?
An I know this one will hurt,& we don't need an answer,But answer this one truthful to yourself,What kind of father have I been?(not just material thing's.
Sure hope you don't think of me as being smarta#$,Because I raised a son also.>>>>Bentpole

[sunshine]

i have had problems like thet with my soon to be step daughter she did not still the truck but she was doing it beacuse she misses her dad and wants attention from him my suggestion is that you take him with you for the summer make him help you n the truck so hes doing mos of the hard stuff like dropping trailors and so on dont let him sleep if your not show him what its like to be you and how important your truck is to your life style also it will make him fill important and he will learn from it but dont make it to much fun rember he is being punished

[starkittyusa]

i agree with sunshine Mack...take his butt out on the road for the summer...let him do ALL the work. fueling. lumping (which u keep money to repay u for repairs to ur truck and friends car) no sleep unless u sleep, no video games. Tough Love is the best way to teach him responsibilities. As a mom of 3 now grown boys... they all are fine gentlemen. i am not a child abuser by no means...but a tuff situation like he has put u in would not get any sympathy from me. be as tuff on him as he has been on u. he will respect u for it later. if u let him slide even the slightest on this issue...it will only get worse. good luck...been there, done that.

[JD45]

I imagine that the justice system would teach him a lesson. Do the police know about the accident? These are some pretty serious charges. Grand theft auto, driving under the influence, and leaving the scene of an accident.

[dle]

Why are YOU looking for a job for him?

Have him get his happy little _ _ _ off the couch and start looking, and give him a short time period to find something. If after that time or he doesn't get off his little _ _ _ tell him that he will start working every spare minute cleaning. During that time make the payback small - $.50 a day.

My experience with law enforcement when it comes to juvenile problems is 100% depressing dissappointment.

The other side of this coin is that he may be calling out to you wanting something from you.

[cdreid]

You pathetic *** would report your kid to the cops, get them to throw him in jail and not pay his bail? Talk about poor excuses for human beings. Military school? Mental masterbation is fun isnt it? Thinking about your son getting screamed at , hazed et al for the next year or two? Why the ungreatful little brat! After i spent a good ten seconds making him! You're going to take him away from all his friends. His life. His future. Inflict idiotic rambo wannabe drill sargeants on him as a teen.. because he made a mistake. You havent made any have ya? Specially when you were a teenager..

Go ahead. Listen to a group of sad old lonely hateful men tell you how to raise your kid. Send him to military school. He's not the one who's gonna pay. YOU are. Because he's going to remember what you do now for the rest of his life. Dont matter you think? "Hey ill always be his dad"? Well when you're 70 sitting in a truck somewhere alone wishing someone would call or ask you to visit. When your in an old folks home wondering why you never see your kid, etc etc etc you just remember the "wisdom" these jackasses taught you.

You will only EVER do one thing in your life thats important. Noone will remember the miles you ran. Noone will ever knwo the house you built was there. Your "career" will disappear into the ether the day you die. Your children are the ONLY thing you will EVER do that mean anything. The rest is just getting yourself "stuff".

Try putting him on the truck with you for six months. You'll get closer. He'll learn truck driving AND way more than pay you back in labor. And you both might learn something. That you'd even consider sending him to military school to "get him outa your hair" says a lot about your relationship already.

[Twilight Flyer]

Um, you might want to reread what the initial poster said. His kid didn't just screw up. His kid committed serious crimes, if you want to get down to the brass tacks of it all, and he was darn well lucky he didn't kill someone.

I make mistakes as an adult and made plenty as a teenager. All of us do and did. But few of us can claim credit for jacking a 19K pound rig and taking it to a drinking party, only to wreck it later on in an accident with another vehicle. Those of us that have screwed up to that level as a teenager, usually end up in juvi hall or worse.

In this kids case, if the punishment doesn't fit the crime (which was pretty darn serious and warrants some pretty serious action), he's the one you will read about in a few years that jacks a few cars and kills a few people on a merry crime spree across the country with one of his equally retarded friends.

Parents have a responsibility to love and teach their children and sometimes those lessons need to be harsh. Letting the kid off with a pat on the top of the head and an 'oh, it'll be all right, so let's go fishing' is little more than neglect. Children need to know there are consequences to every action, both good and bad. Those consequences should match the screw-up and if that means correcting serious disciplinary problems in a military setting, then so be it. While I agree that military school should only be a final solution if other serious consequences do not have the desired behavior-changing effect, military school is still a far better option than juvi hall or prison, which is exactly what's in this kid's future if he doesn't get straightened out. Ask yourself this: which would you prefer if it was your child?